All Comments on 'Too Good To Be True Ch. 01'

You should add POV from the girls side in future ch to show the impact it has on her.

So this girl who is engaging in the most epic cheating scandal in history is sitting in public perusing all her cheating materials??? And this paragon of chastity is on birth control??? And she locks herself in handcuffs with no real way out on her own??? Dumb lazy writing is dumb.

I agree....add her point of view

Thanks for the feedback.

On the comment about 'dumb lazy writing'... if you don't like it, I'm sorry. I don't expect everyone ot like my writing... but really? Have you read half the stuff here? I'm planning on posting several more of the works I've worked on here, and yes, this was my first one.

As to the POV requests, I could try and implement them in the future, but I'm 31 chapters on on the rough drafts and I worry that with the cast of almost 60 characters that I've had to use three different documents to track, I worry that implementing POVs for all these girls will bog things down and making an already large cast even more confusing.

Knowing that, do people still think that the POV should be implemented? I think I do a solid job resolving concerns and issues in later chapters, but I specifically submitted the first chapter alone initially to feel out things like this.

Good stuff - keep it up

31 chapters of rough drafts. Slow down and put more effort into the stories you are offering us readers. Character development, smoother transactions with the scenes... An editor can help. Good luck.

Well, in all fairness I only recently decided to start sharing my stories. I've written these over about a year, in my spare time.

Also, ADHD has me chasing lots of plots on different stories, that I will post as I am comfortable with where they are at and that they are as well thought out as I can, though like this case Chapter 1 might not answer all the questions.

Also, nervous about reaching out to editors. It's intimidating as a writer to give that kind of power over your stories, or at least it is for me.

I enjoyed it and look forward to the next chapter, I hope that will be soon. Well thought out, you don't need to worry about suggestions from anonymous people.

I agree that reacing outvto editors can be anxiety ridden. I did it on the forum and did not get a ton of good feedback. Get someone in your private life u trust that'll read your stories. Ive got 2 or 3 beta readers to get feedback on before i publish.

You have this in the wrong category.

Which category should it be in? I'm sorry, I'm still figuring out things like that.

Great story, very hot. But why would she be on birth control, is there a boyfriend hidden somewhere

Babaurome, have you read the subsequent chapters... it might just get explained there.

Lovely premise.

Good back story.

Well written.

Could have used more preliminaries/foreplay/teasing before the ass playing/fingering/fucking action began.

Nothing with her breasts? No touching? Playing? Licking? Sucking?

No discussion about why her pussy was shaved since no one got to see it?

No fingering her pussy to excite her before the ass play began?

Nevertheless, five stars.

Yeah l liked it, a bit rapey but it’s only fun. I know she’ll eventually fall in love with him.

I’ll read on, but it would be fun if she attempted suicide and he had to save her and they then connected. Not beyond the realm of possibility.

4/5

Not sure cheating deserves rape?

This guy is a real piece of work...cheating equates to rape? I sincerely hope in the end he is either raped or in prison. Truly. I know by reading the chapter index this somehow turns into a harem and people are supposedly happy, but the guy really doesn't deserve it.

Great start to the story. So far I like the main character, seems like he'll build a good harem in his future.

Concerning the two comments prior to mine: Why read a non-consent story to complain in the comments about there being rape? And, beside being a fictional story where the author decides who deserves what based on his kinks, nowhere does it say that he raped her for solely for being a cheater. He just uses the opportunity of having evidence of it to get what he wants sexually.

KR7907, thanks! Both for your positive feedback and saying that. I don't get it either. If you don't like the content, don't read the story. I know my stories each have their audience. If you don't like a story, look for one with with the tags you like. I hope I will eventually have enough variety to please about everyone, but for now, if I don't have some thing for you either wait, or send me feedback about what you want (then watch your junk box for my replies, due to my email name closely matching my username here, junk filters toss it out) and we can talk and maybe I can craft you something you would like.

Pfft would be nothing but disappointment if he doesn't pop her cherry and they end up together. Hope I'm not wasting my time with this one.