- NonHuman
- Toofy Ch. 06
- Page 3
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Click here"Toofy's master is Sai. Always. Forever." She said stubbornly, "But she will show the emperor that the temple teaches pleasure. That she was once a temple girl."
"Up your butt." He laughed, and then waved at his clothes, "Undress me."
Her eyes lit up, and she pounced.
The neko let out a giggle as she surprised him, feeling him try and brace against her as he was knocked backwards from his chair and onto the ground.
She smirked as she ran a claw down his front, slicing through the silk threads smoothly. Amusement sparkled in her eyes at his horror as she ruined the clothing.
She scooted backwards, dividing his pants, and then glaring up at him without amusement. "Seriously? Toofy is naked, and about to get her cute little butt violated, and he can't even get it up?"
"You're... Terrifying."
The neko rolled her eyes and pulled him into her mouth. He tasted as he smelled. Perfumed and clean, which was a relief.
She focused, her tongue brushing and scraping around him quickly, until she was bobbing her head up and down his length. Which had her feeling a tad worried.
The emperor was not average sized.
He was only a little bit longer than her Sai, but as he swelled, he was hurting her mouth, stretching the corners of it. She knew she had a small jaw, but her taint was small, too. Small and virgin.
She opened her throat, taking him in deeper, trying to make sure she was getting him as lubricated as she could. She doubted that he was going to give her backdoor the same kind of appreciation.
He groaned loudly, and then grabbed her fucking ears.
It took everything in her not to howl and bite his dick as he started jerking on them, shoving himself in and out of her mouth with a violent desire.
Toofy could have handled having her face fucked. She could have dealt with the fact he was going to be angry if he came in her mouth and not her ass, and the fast change that might require.
She absolutely, definitely, could not deal with the fact that he was pulling on her ears.
The cat yowled in pain, tears falling from the corners of her eyes, and she cast a paralysing spell on him. Paralysing the emperor. Assaulting the ruler of most of the world.
She pulled her mouth off him, a long strand of liquid joining her mouth to his hard and broad shaft. The cat pretended she wasn't frightened, looking down at him, too scared to touch her pained and pulsing ears. "Don't. Touch. Her. Ears."
His eyes were full of hate.
She repositioned onto her knees, moving up until she could run her wetness up and down his cock. She smiled crookedly, looking down at the one in control of her fate, "Toofy thinks he's too big for her butt. Nobody has to know... It isn't an unsafe time for her. She won't have kittens."
Those angry eyes changed to ones of lust, if only for a moment. It told her everything she needed to know, all the same.
She doubted that he had been allowed to experience this regularly. Even his concubines would have strict rules about who was allowed to get pregnant, when.
She slid herself down on him.
It still hurt. Her cheek spasmed, feeling like he was tearing her in two, as she worked him into her channel. He filled her up, and more. Making her let out a quiet whimper as she eased herself onto him.
Pretending that the spell was sexplay and not a panic attack that he was hurting her. Trying to convince him that she was a temple girl, just maximising his pleasure.
Fuck, her ears hurt.
The feeling of him filling her was enjoyable. She made sure to let out a soft moan as she pulled herself up with exquisite slowness, despite her mind only being on her swelling and delicate nekomimi.
She opted for making a grunt as she sawed herself back down onto him. It wasn't entirely faked either. Fuck, he stretched her out. Taking the full length into her wasn't the easiest thing.
It was a good thing he couldn't move, if he tried his violent approach, even on her pussy, she would be in tears all over again.
She put her soft hands onto his bare chest, using them to give herself a measured pace. Looking down at his lust-filled eyes with hers as she held the spell in place, fucking him like he was her personal toy.
She moaned and grunted, giving off soft little purrs as she drove his girth into her, the most dangerous dick in the world penetrating her tight little snatch.
She rolled her hips, lengthening the strokes as she sped up, fucking him harder. Beginning to enjoy herself as she felt him flexing and pulsing deep within her.
Still, she wasn't going to risk having his kittens.
The catgirl drew herself off the top of him with a soppy plop, before quickly grabbing it and shoving her face down him with a ring of her bell.
He didn't last long, her spell collapsing as her focus shifted to getting him to blow deep inside her throat. "Fuck! You fucking little bitch of cat!"
His cum burst into her throat, as she grinned at his reaction.
Toofy pulled up, "No royal seed wasted. None sprayed on her pretty face. She has done her duty."
He tried to slap her, but was too tired to make an impact. She licked at his hand playfully, causing him to pull it away in disgust.
The neko grinned and stood up.
Her eyes widened and she reached down, touching herself and squeezing her knees together. "Ow. Emperor is too big for her. She doesn't want to be his. Ow."
"I could still have you killed." He growled at her.
She shrugged, golden eyes tickled with mirth, "Mmm. He could. But then he would have to stop thinking about how he is going to steal her from Lord Sai. Does the kitty die? Or does she mess with the little lords?"
"Fuck you, bitch." He swore and pointed at the door, "Get the fuck out of here."
She laughed and pulled on her robe, giving a little curtsy and walking out whilst still doing up her belt.
The laughter was forced.
That was a lot closer call than she wanted to admit.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 2 years agoOk I have to throw in my $.02 here and just say to Powersworder that were I writing this (or any other tale for that matter) and you as my editor demanded a complete rewrite of a chapter I was satisfied with, I would simply tell you to go fuck yourself then find someone else to fill that role... especially considering I am writing all of this for FUCKING FREE.
ZZchromosomealmost 3 years agoI thought it was pretty clear that Elia's glamour was dispelled by the guardsman. It seems reasonable to me that the emperor would have specialists of that nature, especially in his personal security detail. Remember, the writer doesn't need to spell everything out for you in great detail. "Joe stepped into the Nexus and arrived in Chicago" is perfectly acceptable story-telling. There's no reason for you to know what the Nexus is or how it works, only that Joe can roll out of bed in Phoenix, step into the Nexus, and arrive in Chicago. Explaining the details and limitations of teleportation magic is completely unnecessary. If the author acts like something is a story parameter, then it is a story parameter.
Powersworderalmost 3 years ago"that hasn't been spelled out"
We're visitors to your world. You need to spell out these kinds of things to make it crystal clear for your readers. Toofy paralysed the Emperor and left him completely helpless... there's nothing in the story that even hints that the Emperor has magical abilities. If he does, they need to be highlighted to show that he's a dangerous opponent... there's nothing to be gained by keeping it secret.
"You might also want to look up the limitations of thunderstep"
Nope. It's your responsibility as a writer to outline the limitations of your characters' abilities, not expect your readers to hit the reference manuals. I've never even heard of thunderstep before, so why would I leap to the assumption that you're plagiarising D&D?
shaknaalmost 3 years agoAuthor@Powersworder - I'm sorry that you've missed so many of the details that I have left you so muddled. A lot of the assumptions you've made about the environment simply aren't true, and have already been spoken about. For example, the assumption that Sai is the only human noble with magic - Sai was trained by Westcolm, alongside the emperor, and Sai's gamekeeper was also a part of this unit. If Westcolm, who is the senior to Sai, and trained the emperor, is too afraid to take revenge on the ruler, there is something more to the story, yet to be spelled out. Sai has spoken about the alarms on his cell, as well. The reason the emperor left Toofy alive is quite simple - she amused him. She's not a threat. What she did, wasn't a threat. There is something more to it, that hasn't been spelled out. (You might also want to look up the limitations of thunderstep. It's a DnD thing.)
@Anonymous - I thought it was pretty explicit. There was no other reason to mention the guardsman standing in the shadows, nor why Elia looked at him. "The glamour around Elia wavered, and then collapsed. She jerked her head up, red eyes glaring over towards a guard leaning in a shadow."
Anonymousalmost 3 years ago"One of [the guardsmen] broke Elia's glamour."
Could you please make this a little more clear next time? I thought the glamour failed due to a lapse of concentration or warding in the palace, not one of the guards.
Powersworderalmost 3 years agoI'm not making these points just to nitpick, as I was genuinely enjoying the story until this chapter.
I think the whole encounter with the Emperor was a bad mistake from a writing perspective.
1) Toofy was only just raped by Elatham, so having her get attacked by the Emperor reduces the dramatic impact. A terrible thing like a sexual assault should be used sparingly within a story, not twice within the space of three chapters! Toofy hadn't even physically recovered from Elatham's assault, let alone emotionally, but we're already on to the next rape. This is supposed to be the Nonhuman category, not nonconsent.
2) Toofy incapacitated the Emperor with zero effort. Congratulations, you just turned you main villain into an inept clown! Why doesn't the leader of the Empire have magical wards in place to protect him against such attacks? The only reason he isn't dead is... well there's no real justifiable reason why he's still breathing. After she used magic on him like that, why didn't the Emperor have her put to death by the guards for the magical assault? Why on earth would he want to steal her from Lord Sai, when Toofy just proved she could kill him whenever she feels like? Tyrannical leaders don't like leaving hostile threats alive.
3) Lord Sai has clearly fallen in love with Toofy, which was setting him up nicely for a redemption arc. Having her then get raped twice in rapid succession makes him look like he's totally incapable of protecting the woman he loves. It really undermines him as a male romantic partner, especially as he does nothing to intervene to save her from the Emperor taking her anal virginity. This chapter actually turns Lord Sai into a wimpy cuckold, which is absurd considering how powerful he is supposed to be.
Remember that as a writer, you set the scene for your readers. It's entirely possible that my impressions of the characters and their relative strengths is way off... but I'm going strictly by what you've described them being capable of.
If Lord Sai desperately wants to save Toofy, but can't intervene for some reason, then he should be shown pacing his prison in helpless rage and frustration as he thinks about the consequences if he acts. (Although that renders him impotent as a male love interest, which is a bad idea from a storytelling perspective). When Toofy paralyzed the Emperor, she could've hesitated and considered killing him... and the reasons why that would be a bad idea. Instead she just turns around and gives up her virgin ass, which makes her seem stupid for not realising he was helpless and makes her look unfaithful to Lord Sai.
If I was editing this story, I'd highly recommend a complete rewrite of chapter 6. It detrimentally affects the characters of both your male and female protagonists, as well as the threat posed by the primary antagonist.
Powersworderalmost 3 years ago"If Toofy had attempted to kill the emperor, either she or Sai would not have escaped alive."
Why? Nothing in the story places either of them in immediate danger. Westcolm told Toofy that none may enter the Emperor's suite without being invited. The fact that she was able to paralyse the Emperor and leave him in that state for several minutes proves that they weren't being watched by guards. She could've killed him at that point with impunity and remained undisturbed for hours.
Meanwhile, Lord Sai is in a cosy prison for the nobility that's not locked or properly guarded. Not that it matters anyway, because in chapter 4, he was able to teleport! What can regular guardsmen do to stop a master swordsman with teleportation? He knew Toofy was about to be raped by the Emperor, having overheard her conversation with Elia, so could have easily rushed to the rescue. He even says so in chapter 5:
"Dearest sir, if I had meant harm to the one I have loyally served all these years, you would not be stopping me. I would not be where I am."
The story makes it quite clear that the guards are a joke and Thunderstep would rip through them like a chainsaw.
"Neither of them are all powerful, as demonstrated already by Elatham."
You mean the archmage that Lord Sai dispatched with a single swordstroke? Also, Toofy just stole all of Elatham's magic abilities by eating his heart, making her even more formidable.
"You cannot conquer an empire just by killing one man"
But there's nothing in the story that indicates the Emperor has any support from the nobility. It's been indicated that Westcolm was unhappy serving the Emperor, especially after the asshole impregnated then murdered his wife! The Emperor has done that many times before, so the story itself implies that there is bubbling resentment in the nobility at his tyrannical rule.
Also Lord Sai is well known (and rightfully feared) throughout the Empire. When he revealed that he was "Thunderstep" the guards and courtiers in the palace freaked out. He is exactly the sort of man that could slay a corrupt Emperor and seize the throne for himself, at which points the royal guards would become HIS guards. The other nobles wouldn't dare to openly oppose Lord Sai (the only human noble with magic) when he can teleport into their homes and kill them with ease. What use are armies of conventional troops when he can assassinate their leaders practically at will?
