All Comments on 'Touch Ch. 06'

I feel cheated. The story started out so well, then got a little slow around part four, but then this disaster?

It just goes to show that the bases of any worthwhile relationship are mutual trust and respect. Beautiful things can go south in a heartbeat if doubts overcome the trust of those you love. The fact that things go south in that fashion in this story give it poignancy and a raw punch to the heart that makes it art instead of just a stroke story. Sure, I'd like to see a happy ending where the happy couple skips off to Wyoming, has three kids and lives happily ever after amidst the gas rigs, bighorn sheep, and ranchers, but that's not reality. You rendered the story brilliantly and realistically. Excellent job, and keep up the fine work!!!

the end was crap.

Of course, one must wonder at the stability of a girl who trusts her friend at her word more than her brother, without giving him a chance to give his side of the story...so that was a little bit of a jarring thing. Great work, though, and a great way to conclude the story. Didn't even make it to double-digits! ;)

stupid ending no normal guy that was put through that kind of hell would ever think of gettin married get real you must have really been drunk when you wrote this ending

what a rotten ending..i agree with most everyone..a big letdown

you anonymous crap-talkers ever stop to think that just because it didn't end the way you thought it should that it may still be realistic? Perhaps it really even happened and Emptysoul wrote it to work thru his pain. Maybe he hates happy endings. As far as Kerry believing her friend over her brother, it's very believable because she had low self-esteem in several ways and her confession that she almost sucked off Dave because she wanted to could lead her to believe that Jason may have similar feelings about Beth. As far as Jason getting married...he seemed always caught between what he wanted and what he thought was the "right" thing to do. -- Sadness

one of the most realistic endings on this whole site.

I wish I had read the last chapter first. I invested far more time than this wretched thing deserved. I take back all of the fives I gave it in the earlier chapters. I don't come to this site to wind up depressed...realistic ending or not.

As much as I liked the story, I couldnt help feeling a little cheated. It seems that you rushed the ending to me. Not all stories have happy endings, but they should at least have a meaningful one. I think I speak for everyone when I say that you should really think about changing the ending. Its rushed, and weak. On the flip side, I loved the obsession instilled in this piece, and also found myself becoming attached to the characters. Great job!

Well written, very good story. However, more time should have gone into the degeneration of Kerry and Jay's relationship. Early on, they showed so much passion, love, and complete understanding that it shouldn't have been so easy to end it. Up until ch.4 i had high hopes for them. Then i saw the ending approach and that didn't sit well... This was really bittersweet for me. The characters drew me in and i read the entire story from start to finish; 7 and a half hours. It was a tremendous let-down at the end. If you were going for heart-wrenching, you certainly achieved it. I cried, and felt terrible for the rest of the day. But, such are the risks inherent in random stories. 5 stars, 100 degrees. I'll never read it again though...

emptysoul173, i think that it is fair to say, on behalf of all who read this, that you are a disgrace to literotica! Real stories should give us hope! So FUCK OFF!!! You heartless BASTARD!!!

It's a great story but with a bad ending in my eyes, also a hard to believe ending.

Not many times I'm reduced to complete tears. This is one of them. All I can say really...

not sure how it fit in with the rest of the story. wasn't all that great.

First 4 chapters: excellent. Last 2 chapters: mayor let-down, uninspired and boring. If you weren't ready to finish the story, don't finish it. This just looks to much like a rush-job. I hope you revisit this story some time in the future and give it the ending it deserves.

I'm not talking about the break-up and the sad ending by the way. I don't like it but it is fitting. It's just that the writing is not up to par.

The end was the biggest rush-job I've ever seen, the relationship hadn't degenerated enough for the break-up to be so sudden on his part, and for someone to so profusely claiming to love him, she let him go too easily.

I feel an emptiness, a loss for the time I wasted reading this utter piece of crap that I will never get back.

I've read a lot of good stories here on lit, and also a lot of crap, but nothing came even close to the emotional let-down that this waste of space delivers.

Shame on you...

the first few chapters were great..... but the last chapter was really rushed, and didnt do the series justice. I hope you go back and rewrite the ending. It's a great series, and bad endings are fine, just not the shit ending you gave this one. If you're bored of the series, focus on something else, one day you'll want to write it again.

Nice dream story, but the ending was pretty realistic. I would like to read what happened after some years, when all the siblings start to understand that some one is their only brother or sister and are important.

First 5 chapters was great by the end of 6 was sad and that not to be on it.it was to sad.its like getting wet then u read a sad part and u lose it.they loved each other and they stop talking cause she throught he fucked her friend.she didnt feel bad at all.it been great at the end if he got pregnant it be a suprised.

I really enjoyed the first 4 chapters of this series. A real deep and satisfiying story. Chapter 5 was the first decline I noticed in the storyline but it was still very good. It was really great up to that part, but I don't think the ending fit at all. It seemed rushed and the storyline was rubbish in comparison to your other work. All i can do is argree with some of the other comments and hope you re-write the ending, I don't think you did the story justice. Please take this as constructive critism.

I think the ending Isn't Hollywood. If you want that there's plenty where that came from. This Is a neo-classic tragedy. You people who like fairy tales why don't you read children's lit so you can have your little "happily ever after"?

Sure I would have liked them to stay together but given the subject I understood they might not make it all the way. Some of you act like there were no warning signs when there was foreshdowing throughout from the very start.

Kerry's insecurity and neurosis plus desire to have a child made her susceptible to outside pressures of society as well as her own. She was very young and inexperienced and too naïve and guileless for the type of life they would have to have led. Jay realized all of this and still he couldn't stay away once that box of Pandora's was opened. He knew it wouldn't last, the knowledge of it made him physically ill! But I digress....

I love the way you write; paying as much detail to the erotic as well as the neurotic and letting plot reveal charcter. You should be a playwright or director and I hope you're guilded. You tell a tragic lovestory very well but the bigger tragedy would be for you to waste your gift on account of people not appreciating such literal talent ( yes,pun intended). I feel honored to have been able to enjoy you raw and unedited. I don't know if you're in league with Shakespeare but I think you're in bed with him.

Baby Pasha ^_^.

I've rated every chapter a 5--detail, sensuality, character development, all impeccable. Although I noticed the foreshadowing, I was still crushed by the ending. I know life is not Hollywood, but I still like to believe that love conquers all. I wish somehow that Jay and Kerry could at least meet again and talk it out--they loved each other so much, and were so honest with each other.

I would ask the writer to think what that might be like. Maybe there's a story there somewhere...

the first four chapters were very good but this killed it. it wasn't so much the breakup as it was the way it was handled during and afterwards. a much more realistic endding would have been after he left she continued on but at graduation she over hears beth bragging about how she tricked her into believing her brother screwed her when he didn't want anything to do with her. then have her rush over and punch beth in the mouth and tell her she is a bitch and to go to hell. you would then have the oppertunity to write another chapter having her go looking for her brother to appoligize to him there was to much love between them for it to end the way you wrote it no guy that went through that would ever get married. if this happened to you including the end then i feel sorry for you but you are an ass for allowing beth to destroy your relationship with your sister even though it seems you loved her more than she loved you as was proved by the way she believed beth over you. chapter 6 should be rewritten with a better more bekievable endding

Can only say I was crushed by the ending. Whether I liked or disliked, expected it or was surprised is irrelevant, was still a huge emotional blow after becoming attached to the characters. Bravo for a tale that leaves a lasting impression. 5/5

Did u have to end it that way?? that was wrong idea in my head . i stay far a way from this story from now on . 1-5 was great but then this horrible attempt at a chapter and u get smacked in the face with this thats below the belt if u ask me

Sometimes a story takes hold of the author and runs its own course. Characters take on a life of their own. Kerry and Jay were destined for an unhappy ending, whether the writer would have wanted it that way or not is irrelevant.

Please don't change the ending. I hated the way it ended, it actually made me hurt. Which is the first time I even cared about a character on this site. It's the only incest/taboo story I've read here where anyone got caught, where there were actual repercussions to their actions.

Charles Dickens was harassed into changing his original ending to Great Expectations. The new, happy, sunshine and puppy dog ending sucks.

I don't like the pain at the end of the story, but it's right. The story starts with a funeral, for goodness sakes! Of course it was going to end badly. They couldn't very well ride off into the sunset on a unicorn that flies over rainbows.

Seeing as how this story was written a few years ago, I'm guessing no new ending is in the works. Good for you. I also see there haven't been any recent stories. I would love to read more of your writing. I hope you write again soon.

I didn't even bother reading the first. Scrolling to the last ending, I see it rated pretty bad, so I assumed the ending was shit. At least I know why you chose the name "emptysoul"

I'm not an emotional guy by any means, but when I read the ending to your story it really got to me, I mean it really tore me up inside and I think that's awesome that you're willing to put that kind of real world ending into your stories. It'd kill me to do what your character jay did, but I can completely understand it all the same. What I'm trying to say is, thank you for writing your story it really spoke to me.

Warning!

The author has issues and takes them out on the reader.

There is no joy in mudville.

The passion and obsession in this story is amazing, and really gets you in the characters heads. That being said with as much passion as they shared you would think something would snap more at the end. One or both of them having a psychiatric break downs, and committing various depraved actions that would then lead to separation forever. Not saying you should change it just personal thoughts of mine.

that was the worst ending to a story ever. You have no idea how pissed you have made me for sitting through the whole story and enjoying it to just come to this ugly conclusion. you sir are messed up.

That was the douchest fucking ending I have ever read. Fuck you, you filthy piece of trash.

What a shitty ending for all they went thru and you did this to a good story to start with. Why don't you get better information on how most siblings feel when this happens for real. Think you will find they wouldn't do shit like you put near the ending. Don't try again you'll only fuck it up as well.

Some people think making a sad ending is cool . fuck u for ur effort

I can’t believe I read through 6 chapters for such a disappointing ending. I hate that the sister who was an innocent spiritual character in the beginning, turned into a selfish bitch by the end.

I really hate the ending. Real life sucks a lot at times. I believe that most people in love would fight for their true love, not run away. Also, over the course of years, the truth should 'come out in the wash' to both parties. Also, the story would have been better if it was revealed why the ex-roommate did what she did.

Seriously? How does she go from her one "true love" to keeping a boyfriend, grinding on and kissing said boyfriend, and then wanting to blow him????? And then on top of that; not listening to her brother, but yet believing her skank ex roommate. She's the bad person in this story.

I hate these two so much

I wasted several hours reading a well written if somewhat repetitive story and ended up disappointed and even angry because the final chapter was so unbelievably stupid and a hurried mess that didn’t fit the personalities created.