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Click hereLiz made her a couple of nice gowns, to which she said "Strictly!" and we knew what she meant. She has also learned to manage in 3 inch heels, which I had never even considered before. Verbal communication is difficult, but her brain still has some capabilities.
Everyone has been very kind. We don't leave Tranford but have a regular pattern of walks, going to the shop, the pub and the community centre. Everybody knows Carol, including those who work on the little industrial estate they have constructed. She usually just smiles, but sometimes she answers. Just occasionally there will be a whole sentence, and she will look at me proudly.
Once she said to me "Arthur was your husband," and I smothered her with kisses and tears.
"Photo," she said, and mimed holding it up to see.
I went and got a favourite one of us on holiday, and she looked at it for a while before saying very slowly and deliberately "Barcelona...us."
I could hardly bear the emotion.
She was pleased when I got out our wedding photo and put it on display. I thought she was struggling to find a word, so I said "Wedding," and she nodded, repeated it, and kissed me. I think some days she is puzzled by it, but usually looks pleased.
She still knows Ginger as Abby, and as a friend, but I don't think anything more. Bernie is a friend. I think seeing him in a suit every week helps, because she can then be amused to know that Bernie is a man in a dress at other times. (Bernie does put on some outrageous ones at times!)
I wish I had indulged Arthur in his hobby earlier. Would he have been happy just dressing occasionally, or would he have transformed completely? It would have been nice to have known Carol before the stroke. Maybe it would have made things easier for both of us.
I miss Arthur, of course, but there is still something of the same person, and I don't love her any less because I call her Carol. Does she think she's a woman? I don't know. I suppose I don't go around thinking 'I'm Gillian and I'm a woman' so I guess she's the same.
You simply are who you are. My husband is happy as Carol. Happy in a dress. Happy to be in Tranford. We are still together, so I'm happy too.
- COMMENTS
chytown2 months ago*****Thanks for sharing. Very interesting storyline pertaining to subjects we seldom talked about or discuss in general conversation. 🤔
Anonymous2 months agoInteresting spin taking on both stroke/dementia/alzheimers AND gender dysphoria at once... I don't honestly think the gender issue is going to land where the trans community hopes and that both sides are wrong: People feel how they feel and most offended people need to mind their own business (and bathrooms should have been private all along). But hacking the body, especially at the expense of either the other people on your insurance plan or the government, seems highly misguided. Your solution seems almost tenable.
