Transformation by Trials - Ch. 02

"Please Ashok. Please! I..."

He obliged. He came over me and gently inserted himself into my aching core. There was pain of disuse. But that was only for a moment. There was bliss of sexual union after that. His movements enhanced my arousal and I participated with my little thrusts upwards. My hand crawled all over his hairy back and my nails gently walked his sensitive skin. I even moved down to his butt as his strokes got stronger and deeper. I felt the tightening and release and I allowed myself the freedom to move even lower and touch his bouncing scrotum between his thighs. His moustache tickled my neck which reminded me of our times together. He kissed my shoulder and then my neck and then went down to my armpits and kissed me there while I raised my arms. That was familiar too.

I was still wearing my bra! Silly me. I yearned for his lips on my nipples! While I attempted to free my self Ashok announced his climax. I forgot my bra for the moment and I grabbed him tight with my arms and alternatively opened my thighs wide and wrapped my legs around him. I became more vigorous in my responses and moaned in encouragement. I saw him straining and stretching and then he ejaculated with warm spurts into my depths. A feeling of fulfillment swept over me like a wave of the familiar, shared ecstasy.

He rolled off to a side, breathing deep to recover. I felt a gush of those hot juices seep out of me and I grabbed some tissue to shove it between my thighs. This was Sona's place and bed and sheets! His eyes were still shut and mine were fixed on his face. This was my husband and I had lost him and now I am giving him pleasure again. His eyelids fluttered open. I shoved a pillow in front to hide my nakedness.

"You are very beautiful, Srila. Very sexy." I became acutely self conscious and blushed like a teenager. "Take off your bra."

I did that slowly and bashfully to display all I had as a woman to attract a man. He touched my breasts one by one. Thumbed the nipples gently and I shuddered. Yes, it was like the good old days.

"Do you connect with that guy? Chuck?" I somehow knew that was coming.

"No. A few messages now and then and a rare call and that is it." I did not disclose to Ashok that Chuck had penned an imaginary visit to India in one of his later erotic stories. That featured me, anonymized of course but the steamy sequences were pretty raunchy.

"Did you two have a lot of sex?"

I smiled in affirmation and an unwillingness to share those details. "Our relationship, you and me, was special and sacred and so was this; mine with Chuck. He came to me as both of us were hurt. We shouldn't be discussing the intimate stuff, should we?"

"OK." He understood. He ran his palm over my cheek with, what I termed residual love. "Do you see anyone now? You are incredibly pretty and desirable, you know."

"Thanks, but no. It is too complicated. Better avoid commitments!" I looked at his naked body next to me. "You look pretty good your self. Do you still play tennis?"

"Not much. I am getting into golf now"

I couldn't let that pass without humour. "They say as you get older the balls get smaller!"

He chuckled. Then he looked down and lifted his penis up to show his balls and asked: "Look. Are they smaller?"

"May be the same." I looked at his package and held his now soft penis, still moist with our juices. "But this thing is still working good!" I was bolder than I was as he knew me and he noticed.

"Ah! That feels good!" I dropped it like it was red hot. It felt rude so I held it again. What the heck, I just had sex with him. He edged towards him and he hugged me and kissed my forehead. I shut my eyes for a moment of introspection of our lives; we as a family and now as almost strangers. We had produced two beautiful children. I pulled the pillow between us away and pressed myself against his whole body. I softly began to caress his penis.

He reciprocated with soft hands and my back and then gentle fingers on my butt. It was exciting but I kept myself under control. I continued to stroke his manhood and I did not expect it to respond after the recent climax but to my surprise and my latent thrill, it did. A minimal turgidity and gradual hardening. Any woman would like a man to respond to her touch and I loved it. I was also surprised that he had overcome the refractory period.

Our gentle body to body embrace was interrupted by Ashok. "Can I fuck you again?" Though I don't fancy those crude terms, this time I said nothing. I made the same mistake again. I looked at my watch! "No, don't worry. They won't come back for more than an hour. I can track Sona too!" He reached for his phone and confirmed that they were more than half hour away.

"OK!" was my feeble but definitive answer to if I wanted to get 'fucked' again. Yes, I wanted it. Again too! I was to later ponder if I actually only wanted sex or wanted to get closer to Ashok. At that moment, I couldn't care less. I was dripping and willing.

He reached down gain and this time he made love to me with his fingers. Honestly, I didn't recall Ashok being so much into foreplay. Now I could see his erect member with that cute curve upwards and in that state of arousal, he simply wanted to enter me. He rubbed me down there, parted my lips and touched my clit. I felt the sexual energy in him flow upwards from that female centre. There was a happy gush of wetness. "Can I put my finger in?" he asked. Does he have to ask? I hummed my consent and he went in gently and gingerly feeling all my insides with delicate finger rotation. "Another finger?"

"Gosh! Do what you like! Make love to me!" I giggled at his pretended formalities.

It was a different sensation when he had two fingers in. He manipulated my vaginal nerves with expert movements. I knew he hit some vital points of high intense stimulation and I longed for him to come back to those. I was a squirming, groaning mess.

I wanted to do my part. "Let me make love to you, please." I offered. He looked questioningly. "Let me go on top!"

All he did was to smile. We had never done that in my memory. He took his hand away and allowed me to get on top of him. I positioned myself and slowly slipped him into my eager opening. It was that glorious sensation again. I tried riding him and managed to perform a few strokes but my position on his upper thighs and the leverage provided by my hands resting on either side of his hips was too much for me. Even though the good sensations were there the unfamiliar physical effort defeated my enthusiasm.

When I slowed down and then stopped he offered. "Let us do it the regular way. I will allow you to participate." I didn't quite get it but I complied by getting off him and lying on my back.

He bent my thighs over and put his shoulders behind them and opened my perineum. I was open wide and vulgarly exposed. He entered me quite easily in that position but rested his weight on his extended arms resting on his palms on the bed. Then he told me.

"My weight is not on you and you can move your hips upwards to meet me and there is space between us to rub yourself."

"Wow!" was my muffled response. I was not going to masturbate for him to see. That's not me. That never was. But I fancied the upward hip movements I could provide to enhance our combined enjoyment. I did and went faster with great coordination.

"That's so good!" he panted. "Remember all the many ways we did it back in the day? In all the rooms in our house when the kids were at school; in the car; during my lunch break on the dining table; on the kitchen table!"

"Yes, yes! And once you came from behind lifting up my Diwali sari." I was enjoying the naughty reminiscing very much. "But do it this way now." Considering the shape of his erect penis, the missionary position provided the best way to rub my G spot.

We were hitting a good rhythm after all these years and that was commendable. Then it was his turn again to flip over an erotic memory. "I remember once," he began still going hard into me with delicious strokes, "we were back after a party and I wanted sex badly and, as you did sometimes, you gave some excuse to refuse. I turned over to the other side and started masturbating gently, I thought. But you felt the movements and you turned towards me and wrapped an arm around me to fondle me to a climax." He stopped his intensity for a while. "I always remember that as an act of sheer commitment to please me." I did not recall the details of that episode but I did remember a number of occasions where I would hand stroke him when I was not up to sex.

"Please touch my breasts!" I managed a whispered plea. He took his weight off one arm and gently fondled my waiting nipples. He switched sides and hands. It was glorious. "Now kiss them! Suck them!" He obliged but to do that he fell onto me. It felt so good. "I want to see us down there, please." I was emboldened to ask these that were taboo for a shy woman like me. He hoisted himself up again and I glanced down to see vividly his organ slipping in and out of my furry folds. I could not resist holding him just to feel the engorged power and the slimy hardness of his manhood giving me pleasure. I ventured to touch my clit with my thumb and give it a couple of flicks.

"Are you close? I am about to cum!" He managed to say between laboured breaths.

"Cum, Ashok. I am with you. I will reach there. You cum. Please!"

Whether it was his verbal crescendo or his accelerated thrusts that stimulated me but I reached my peak too. We both cried out in our frenzy and again I felt those hot squirts of love juice inside me. I felt so much of physical pleasure that I was surprised that I achieved it without any love. That was a first for me and an orgasm experienced after many years and a good one at that!

When we cleaned up, washed and got 'normal' again for our kids, I struggled to conceal the unintended glow on my face after the intimacy with their father. I had this often embarrassing deficiency of having to show everything on my cheeks or eyes or whatever. It was a relief when the evening was done.

Since their partners, Vince and Evita, were there it was interesting to see the interactions between both the couples; as one pair was clearly intimate and the other wasn't. Their body language was obvious. I hoped the kids weren't as observant or analytical as I was!

Ashok left that evening with some hints of meeting me again and promised to stay in touch with the kids. Anu left after a couple of days and the next two weeks were super bonding time with Sona with Vince joining in occasionally. Scenic drives, shopping, visits to places of work and touristic spots were all done. We had those mother-daughter heart to heart conversations in the evenings.

It was inevitable that Sona would ask me if Ashok and I were making up. Ashok had asked them both if he could talk to me in private. I said getting back together was not a possibility as I couldn't actually forgive him for cheating on me. Within me I couldn't understand why I readily had sex with him. I conjured up some excuses saying I did it in good faith of the relics of our past partnership.

Crucial Unmentionable Therapy

I had to admit that I was a bit restless after my encounter with Ashok. I was not sure what my drive was; the deprivation of intimacy, the lack of a masculine connection, a midlife crisis, the dubious naughty forties? Whatever that was gripping me I sought some release by messaging Chuck, my old boyfriend. He replied almost instantaneously displaying surprise that I was in the US and we exchanged the usual but rather infrequent pleasantries. I ensured after I left Pennsylvania a few years ago, that I would gradually tone down my interactions with Chuck as that would be the best way forward to deal with a relationship that had no future. I loved Chuck but I had to make choices and decisions for my own financial, mental and social wellbeing.

A few days after the initial interaction Chuck messaged me asking to speak to me. He was very warm and extremely nice as he always was and wanted to meet me. I would normally be unwilling as that would mean sex again but this was a rather precariously confused me. It was a yes and no answer and Chuck would go on to very kindly pay and alter my ticket reservations on Qatar Airways for a one-day stopover at Washington on my way back to Chennai via Doha. He also confided that he needed to tell me something!

So, I agreed to the change of plans. There was some doubt in my mind but overall it would be good to meet Chuck and renew a friendship that was very important for me and saw me through one of the toughest periods in my life.

At the end of my stay and with fond farewells to my beloved Sonali and Anurag I left for Washington from San Diego via Dallas. Again, on my journey back, at the airports and on board the flight, I read what Chuck had written, in his second piece about us. Very intimate and erotic and sufficiently anonymized.

'She drew away, pressed downwards on my shoulder gesturing me to sit down and said: "Do you want to see me? I mean down?"

'It was a question that knocked me out of all the senses that remained. Here was this ever so shy woman whom I had to coax into every little step of intimacy now offering to show her nudity. I had to beg to see it many months ago in a similar setting but now she is asking to show me!

'"Wow!"

'She already had her thumbs in her waistband. "I know you told me... you like me... there" she managed to say.

'"Of course, darling" my voice was hoarse with excitement.

'She drew the elastic band away and pulled her pants down to her creamy thighs. Her lovely Indian hips were encased in soft pink panties and her sex was just inches away from my face! She waited and I looked up. She tilted her head ever so gently in a gesture of querying.

'"Hmm...?" A faint embarrassed smile appeared.

'"Please..." I was begging.

'Her fingers went down her sides again and brought down her panties.

'Her beautiful cunt was something I would never get tired of getting excited about. I had seen it a few times and I knew I should be pretty used to how it looked. But no, my heart thumped in my chest again as I took in the details. As she stood silently letting me look, my hands went to her hips, slipped backwards to grab her soft and smooth buttocks and drew her to my lips. Her curls tickled my lips and her aroma filled my nostrils, I let my tongue slip down into her salty slit. She jerked in surprise. I went up and down a few times before I pressed deeper to seek her clit. I few flicks and she let off a moan and her back arched with her hand now on my head holding me.

'She said: "Let me lie down, darling. I want you to love me in comfort."

'I let her move beside me. Almost instinctively her knees bent and folded together. I turned to her and gently parted them and now having a gorgeous view of her inverted triangle of fur and the slit wet with a blend of her wetness and mine, I went down on her again. This time I went straight for her clit which was actually cutely smaller than average, I thought and licked and played with it until one of her hands went to my head as expected and the other quite to my pleasant surprise went behind her right thigh to pull her apart to give me more access. A few minutes of my dedicated love making to her pussy had her completely aroused thrashing about side to side and groaning and moaning so loud that I am sure surprised even her.

'She gasped, "Oh my god! Oh yes!! And oh, how wonderful, darling. My sweet Chuck! Please don't stop. Oh, oh oh!!"'

My face was flushed with excitement of what he had written and I felt a trifle shy as well. That happens each time I read it. What if somebody figured who it was? The description was so intimately sexual and a tad crude, that I hoped not. Even at this age I felt a dash of pride in myself and I was so glad I had accepted to see Chuck. On my long flight with one stopover I stepped into the washroom and examined my face and appearance to understand or affirm what folks were saying about my looks. To be very honest I did very little in the form of cosmetic care. I just did something extra on special occasions only. I had to humbly admit that I looked good and felt good as well. My complexion, hair, eyes and mouth were all in good shape. I looked at my boobs and cupped them to feel the masses and evaluate the sag that was now coming on. No, they were pretty and firm. Without giving myself into too much vanity, I moved away.

When I landed and cleared my luggage and walked out, I saw Chuck running towards me with a bunch of lovely red roses. He looked just like he was when we were in love. We hugged and he kissed me gently on my lips. He had rented a car and had a room at the Washington Dulles Airport Marriott. I got in the car and he shut the door with exaggerated politeness. He gave me a little gift, wrapped in a lovely mauve gift paper. "Open it later." He said.

"Oh, thanks so much. I got nothing for you! How stupid of me."

"No worries. You had been with a lot of your folks. So that's fine." He thought for a while. "I have something to tell you."

There he goes again. Curiosity was getting me all worked up. I resisted the temptation to ask him what it was. I let him tell me when he wanted to. We caught up on all the mundane stuff on the way to the hotel and we went up to the plush room that Chuck had already checked into. I knew what to expect. I had played, or genuinely was, hard to get when I initially met him. I hid my sexual needs under a veil constructed by social norms. It was thought to be unladylike for Indians to brazenly display sexual desire. Am I going to do that again? It would be hypocritical and even a bit silly to act thus, when I just had a sensual sexual encounter with my ex-husband a few days ago.

However, the obvious sequence of events was postponed as I had a quick freshen up and we went down for a nice relaxed dinner in the restaurant. A stolen glance was taken at the little gift that Chuck had got me but he said we should open it after dinner. Wow!

It was at dinner that he opened up. After a glass of wine and waiting for our dinner to be brought, he began.

"I have something to tell you." That was the third time. "I have ED!"

"What's that... Oh! Erectile..."

"Yes. Erectile disfunction." I was unsure what I should say or in what manner I should respond. Was that an apology from him? Was I expected to be prepared? Should I be feeling sorry for him? What? He didn't give me much time to ponder. "You see it happened after you left and I was simply pining for you. I wrote those stories and I added a fictitious one. Gradually I noticed that I couldn't get it up..."

"Chuck, you don't have to go into the details. I understand. If you are telling me to be... umm prepared or something, stop worrying. I am not expecting anything. It's OK..."

"No hear me out. It's not about you. It's about me! Listen and you'll understand. I wasn't seeing anyone. You were my best and I just can't ever imagine any other woman giving me so much love and pleasure anyway. So, I went to a urologist and he ran a few tests and said everything is OK and wanted me to start on Viagra or Cialis or something. He also referred me back to my general practitioner to clear me for any possible complications and that dude told me that I have high blood pressure and the pills may not be effective or might have some bad effects. When I asked him like what he said I could have sudden death! I freaked out and decided not to take the medications and then my urologist sent me to a sexologist. And guess what? The sexologist was a woman!"