All Comments on 'Transformation Ch. 02'

why you didnt finish it ... what happened to them and what happened to the fuckers who raped her ..i hope theyall got prison sentences and became some bodies bitches in prison so they can understand what it feels like to be raped ..and by the way whatis he going to do with that bar he now owns ... finish the damn story no one quita a story in mid point

She's a whore, no excuses, he's a fool. He would have been better off if she had died. I think you must be a fairy too.

"Baby... God, I pray you don't want to experiment any more. I am not up to it."

WTF!! LOL!

"Baby, I can not beging to tell you how much I love you and need you"!

Dear Writer, you CRACK me up! Thank you! Unintended, nonsensical BS, plus idiocy and natural naivete can be quite funny sometimes! LOL

+++++++++++++++++++++++

"Baby, I can not begin to tell you how much I love and need you. I realize after a lot of thought, that you never had any experience with boys your own age. You never had all the experiences with boys other girls go through. You never had close girl friends you could confide in and share experiences with. You were, and still are pretty sexually naïve. God, I pray you don't want to experiment any more. I am not up to it.

"Jimmy, I lay in the hospital and thought of nothing but how what happened had to hurt you. I thought about how I would feel if it had happened to you because you didn't listen to me. I thought about all I have done to hurt the most wonderful man and husband any girl could ever have. I still see the look on your face when you broke in my office. I see it as clear as if it were happening just now. I want to die when I see the anguish in you face. I saw it again when you sat with me in the hospital. Good God, what have I put you through?"

"Baby when I married you I was serious about those vows. I took you to hold and cherish forever, I took you for better or worse. I will admit I have had enough 'worse'. But I also remember the indescribable joy I have had with you. The happiest days of my life have all been with you. I will be here for you as long as you want me."

different than some of your stories...loved it anyhow and yes, i got it...duh...if some don't then shame for them, some people stay some leave...however, i hope you stay and continue to write...excellent and i would agree i'd like to read on about what happened to the hoodlums..maybe jim took out a little revenge on his own...seems he knows alot of people in high places eh? might be interesting...as always your fan in Texas naynay

Another of your many piss-poor stories.

You write a lot - why not learn when to slow down and not try to put every variable into a story - when you do so it convelutes the good work that preceeded it - you shoot yourself in the foot more often than not - why? This is frustrating to those of us who want to be entertained by you but you won't let it happen through some off the wall goofiness thats inexplicable to most semi-normal people.

By now we know you mean well - but can't resist a little or a bunch more that dilutes or ruins a good story. You can't bend a character 180 degrees from where they were - you can't have love always overcoming everything - you lose your credibility and respect as a writer - is that important to you or not???

Arrrr - Stop it - get an editor or three - develope a plotline - don't just write to spew words - words can be powerful and emotional if woven properly or even close to that. We know you can - slow down - quality please

How all the negative comments are always written by someone so chickenshit that they won't leave their names??

That's becaus e they could not come close to understanding the feelings in this story! They are stupid, ignorant, and "rude,curde, and socially unacceptable" as a good friend of mine says !!!!

So piss on them!!!'

The story was fantastic! I loved every bit of it!!

Grey Eagle:

Like several other authors I could name, you do seem to attract the Anonymous Trogs. Are you baiting the waters around the bridge that they and their Troll buddies are hiding under?

What they don't seem to under stand is that any sex in the story was secondary to the problems that were developed in the story. Susie is a young lady who didn't have the normal process of maturing that girls go through. She didn't have the relationships with boys that would help her to make intelligent decisions in later life. She was in a state of mind that led her to wonder what she'd missed out on and was it fun. What she has for her thought process in that regard is the normal rebellious mind of a teenage girl, a reversion if you will. On his part is his upbringing, moral code, and the cold hard fact and fear that he is too old for her. The story is about the way they are able to overcome their problems and not lose the love and to regain the repsect and trust that holds a family together. In other words it is a morality play put to paper. In fact it was damn well told. Thank You. Ronnie W.

I liked the husbands reaction and behaviour. There was a bit of self-pity involved (not too much though) but he came across as a real person.

You did border on him coming back for more a few too many times for me though but I thats just a difference of opinion. Several times she was discovered doing something inappropriate and then cried and told him she wouldnt do it again and that she loved only him. Each time he wouldnt accept her behaviour but kept accepting her remorse and pleas for forgiveness. After it happened a few times, I would start to doubt her feelings for me and wonder how sorry she really was for hurting me since she kept doing it again.

Even if I probably would have decided that she was bullshitting long before the husband did, it was still nice to read about a real guy instead of some overly perfect cardboard cuttout of a guy that we seem to see in many cheating stories.

Thanks very much for writing.

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing! The story didn't have a flow and made no sense. To paraphrase you, Grey Eagle, I guess bad writing is "part of the white culture".

A piss-poor story about a cuckold wimp asshole and a useless slut whore. Any of you sick motherfuckers that liked this piece of shit are bigger fools than the asshole wimp. I am one person that thinks that the story is lousy and the characters are worse. Fuck you if you disagree with my comment. And fuck you if you are stupid enough to say it is a good story. I would particulary like to say that tinman is a queer cocksucker and that he is less than a man. I just hope he has the guts to reply to my comment. He surely has no balls.

This is your best work! Well done indeed. Thanks very much for writing.

Grey Eagle I hope you provide the sequel to this one; there are just to many loose ends. Susie's work with the psychiatist, and much more is needed. Does Jim sue the Bar owner for the errent bardtender? Where do the rapists wind up? or does Susie not testify? Jim still has a problem every time Susie slips,which is frequently he forgives. Maybe Jim needs a visit to a psychiast? I likes your work and will read more. Maybe you want to invite some other author to finish off this tale?

I've read 3-4 of your stories. They are remarkable . The

character development is superb . The stories twist and turn and take you to many places you don't necessarily want to go , emotionally . They are almost novelettes , they are so lengthy . Overall , I liked them very much except for 2 points... they are too long , and there is little , or no eroticism in them . As good as they are , perhaps they should be in some collection of essentially non-erotic stories. Your capacity to write is astonishing ,

so keep it up , and don't let my thoughts discourage you.

Sue the bar tender for dropping the drug in her drink and I hope theres a sequel to the story i would like to see how the doctor does with treating her problems.Grey Eagle you are one of my favorite writers you really bring out the best in the characters .

I would say the story was well done, except I have trouble believing the husband could continue being so forgiving to a wife who is obviously so well skilled at either lying to her husband, to herself or both. Part of what makes the best stories is being able to believe that the characters could be real. I just don't get that feeling here.

It is probably a question of style, but I find your dialogue stilted, your characters unbelievable, and your plots simply retreads, in one way or another, of your other stories. I am glad you have fans, but I simply find your work mediocre.

that marriage works best when both partners have a decent amount(whatever that is) of prior sexual experience.Obviates a lot of "what ifs" which lead to tragedy.And don't marry young, dummies!Pistolpackinpete

It was very well written. I suppose it was realistic. Maybe too much for some. She was raped at a younge age by someone who was supposed to care for her so the cheating shouldnt be a surprize. He should have gotten her theripy in the begining. So although I would have still left her ass in that situation I cant say he should have. Everyone is different. I think the fact that anyone can argue about it means that the characters were well written. Good story.

I started out routing for the couple. As the story progressed, I grew more and more impatient with the husband's weakness and his wife's slutty character. By the end, I was disgusted with both of them. The scene at the end where he's holding her hand after her numerous betrayals of his trust resulting in her being beaten and gang banged because of her own actions was just too much. He deserves all the punishment she will no doubt inflict on him in the future. If my woman cheated on me, her ass would be kicked to the curb. I might love her, but she wouldn't be with me. That's the way I roll!

I meant to say rooting for the couple, not routing.

Your story started out pretty good,but you should have posted this under cheating wives or maybe slut wife.She professes her undying love,with tears streaming down her face and cant keep her hands or mouth off other guys.How many times would you expect a guy to limp around with his tail between his legs?She even knew his dick was bigger than Dons.How could she have known that without seeing Don erect?She quits what had to be a great paying job saying she needs her husband and kids and is fooling around with some guy a couple days later.She says there is nothing between her don and they're half naked in her office with him in the building(and she knew it) and if he had'nt burst in,she would have been getting fucked bent over her desk,with her secretary's help covering for her.She no more then barely keeps her husband and shes talking to Tommy on the phone.She either called him or he called her,but either way,numbers were exchanged.Before that,she was with some guy who said he wanted a sex change,another lie.Married women shouldnt be holding other mens hands,the end.Then she goes out to a bar and gets gangraped by 20 guys.I think you would be hard pressed to find 20 guys in one place that would rape a woman,let alone participate in a gangrape with at least 20 strangers as witnesses and that only accounted for vaginal rape.I would think that a man that had achieved enough wealth by 45 to apparently not have to work and still spend money like theres no tomorrow would be smart enough to know,it was just a question of when shed be fucking other guys,not if.

I would also think as smart as you portrayed her to be,she would know,that she would lose everything(kids,house,cars,etc,etc)if there was a divorce,due to her extramarital activities.Considering how good he was to her and completely faithful,and where she was and what she was when they met,she would'nt have much to go to court with.All I could surmize from your story was it was like a fable.Since he loved her when she was homely and shapeless,he should have left it at that,so nobody else would have wanted her??At any rate,you pretty much took a warm fuzzy story,I was very much enjoying and turned it into something heartless,callous and ugly.Thanks Asshole !

this was just another of your mwife a slut stories and I can be a man and live with her so i'll be a pussy ass cuck to keep her...........BARF

She is naive and more than a little stupid too for such an intelligent woman -

Mental deficiency is a very convenient crutch - let's hope she get strong enough to not need it -

Well done story -

Ok guy falls in love in 5 minutes or less gives the girl everything she wants and then she says she has never experienced another dick so goes after them time after time. If it had been me(not that I would have fallen in love with her In 5 minutes) it would have been hasta la viva baby don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Geeze she's got some guy that loves the heck out of her and she wants to experiment.

Whenever someone says "I have learned my lesson" it is time to pull on your chest waders because the bullshit is getting deep.

Addicts (of all sorts) say this all the time, and it never actually means that the "lesson" sticks.

I really, really enjoyed part 1 and was rooting for these two people. The second part was a complete turn-around. She becomes a typical cheater. She didn't love her husband, she was just comfortable with him. She turned into a complete slut after all he did for her. She was going to cheat after she promised it would never happen. She went from an intelligent girl in the first story to a typical cheating moron in the second. And the guy went from a man who had it together in the first story to a shell of that man in the second part. I never read a story where 2 people so completely changed from people that I admired to people that I just didn't like.

Possibly the worst story I've ever read anywhere. Writing style is so overwrought that it would make a soap opera appear rational. Plotting is absurd, while characterization resembles that of a madhouse. Credibility is stretched so far that the reader cannot suspend disbelief in any part of the process.

Greyeagle,

I agree completely with the commenter that said you don't know when to end a story.

It made no damn sense at all for her to STILL take a guys number RIGHT after professing to know how much she has hurt him.

You threw it in just so you could justify a rape that did not need to be in the story at all.

The story should have fucking ended right after the scene at his truck when she found it was a set up with Bridgit.

I think you ruined the story continuing it.

@tinman

what a jackass thing to say. Why the hell does signing up with an alias automatically validate a comment, and conversely, why the hell does it invalidate a comment just because someone has not made up a screen name.

That has to be one of the stupidest things I read in comments. Only a moron would think that an opinion isn't valid because the person did not make up a fake name.. Or are you so stupid and naive to think that everyone is using their real names.

Idiot!

This piece of shit author really was committed to the concept that women aren't responsible for their actions, to the day he croaked.

It would be nice if you had made the characters consistent for both halves of this story. The guy was at first an alpha male type and the gal was a grateful, caring, sweetheart. If this guy figured out that she had some issues about her years growing up, he should have insisted on counseling right away as these flaws started to reveal themselves. One failure on her part with Tom is excusable, second more serious failure on her part with Don is a patterned problem that would have red flagged their relationship to the 45 YO male lead in this story, if he was an alpha male as we were led to believe in th first installment.

As a family counselor, I would have recommended therapy for her and separation for the marriage and supervised visits for her and kids until the self destructive behavior was dealt with. As it was left, the problem escalated to the point that she was almost killed and probably has STDs of some kind. Her plastic surgeon is also culpable in this behavior of the female lead as he should have recognized the symptoms after the second incident.

What this story became was a crappy example of disfunction and enablement as well as a possible co-dependent relationship. The male lead needs to protect his daughters from the destructive behavior of their unstable mother and not engage in the enabling continuance of the mother's life style. He should Try to get her help but if she won't have it, cut her loose and away from the home and family to save them.

Your inconsistent storyline gives me real pause about your own stability, it really became unrealistic in that this strong male became such a wimp even when it involved danger to his daughters. The inconsistency of character should and your fascination with rape scenarios is cause for some concern.

Overall, between the 2 installment, the first was a sweet if somewhat sugary tale that left one with a nice taste. The second left me disappointed and flat so a 3* is what you get as I'm a bit generous with amateur writers. Try for better character consistency and stay true to the mood of the story, get an editor and listen to them, maybe some beta readers, also would help before you publish.

My tuppence worth,

A Treat

Fucking sissy cock-sucking faggot. 1*

that was funny. I don't know about fair but it was funny.

Take away for a young guy, or girl, is you marry a spouse with baggage you will be the one who ends up carrying it.

Second, you marry a girl twenty something years younger than you, there are going to be issues.

This may be your worst story. What a total downer after a good chapter one.

Only 3 stars, and that's only because chapter one was so good..Chapter two sucked big time. We all know ( I hope ) that these stories are a work of fiction, BUT they still need to be somewhat believable. Some men may(?) let her get away with the first indiscretion, very few would forgive a second repeat performance, NONE would let her get away with a third episode. Personally she would have been gone with the first attempt at cheating. (mine was and I don't regret it even after 34 years)

Was very frustraimg to read. The wife simply is a whore and will continue to be one because the husband is a wimp.

I didnt like this one and it frustrated the hell out of me. How many chances did the wimpy husband have to give her? Looks like she can do anything she wants and he will take her back. It was becoming repetitve and it took her being raped to finally realise what a selfish whore she is, not the fact that she could lose the man she supposedly love or her kids.

Derp Derp

LOL, what an idiot... Just leave her already! She would have cheated on him twice if he hadn't caught her both times.

Yeah I think it is way past the time to cut her lose! That woman is just not healthy to have in your life and I in no way don't think she hasn't been fucking around on him. He should get those kids DNA tested.

Strange evolution of maturity and love.

Crazy. While understandable given her terrible young adult life with her monstrous stepfather, Susie is damaged good operating under an immense, self destructive compulsion. While the massive gang rape was nor her fault, the reason she stormed off and went dancing by herself and then drugged, was she had a thir time, now with some new young stud, where she took his phone number and refused to see a shrink. The gang rape by 25 men was revolting and over the top. No one is stupid enough to do that to a celebrity. One if these 25 men would know who she is. No way to keep their identities all hidden. Not with a conspiracy that size. Author wrote themselves into a jam and pulled out the gang rape to change the conversation between MC and Suzie. Just lazy writing. Besides an antidepressant is not a miracle. Yes she is enthused about seeing a shrink. But honestly, she id damaged goods, having nothing to do with the rape, which for 25 men to gang rape her and her to have little or no memory, was a significant dose of Rohypnol where she was blacked out. Maybe she doesn't remember almost anything, but even then it coukd trigger PTSD from the repeated rapes of her father. She is not mentally healthy and while the rape calmed down the husband's rhetoric, it could not have been in any way positive for her and woukd likely interfere with all her other issues including past and present. Story really deteriorate as it continued. While first chapter was interesting, based on this chapter, hard to believe that the story arc ends without Suzie destroying her marriage, her family, and her life. Such is the curse of her compulsion. Crazy.