All Comments on 'Traveler'

To Anon, the reason he did not use the fact that he was working at the time of the alleged rape was because she never told him when it happened. Just like she did not tell him the witness

Lurk on these stories but this was nice. But as the way i am everybody gets a 1 strike rule betray me once never get the opperutunity again

He did ask when the rape took place. She was so sure he did it and was so angry she ignored his question and didn't answer him. She wouldn't tell him who the witness was, he was told Shannon didn't want to be in the same room with him. He was out of options. He planned on staying with his parents for a few days then go back and get things straightened out but the phone call was the last straw so he took off not knowing where he was going or how long he'd be gone.

go to a burger joint together in High School?

With that nit picked, overall good 'nice' story. Pretty much knew what was going to happen all the way through.

If you'd wanted some real drama / angst should have had Dawn decide to get on with her life and take up with Brad. I understand the decision not to, it was three years out, not ten, and her guilt could / would still be strong.

So well written, great characterization, and a happy ending. Well done. Thanks so much for posting. 5 stars.

though id never be able to see him taking her back, being falsely accused of rape is only beaten by being called a child molester as the WORSE most vile thing that can be thrown at a man. well fleshed out story on all sides. that "father" ralph and the gutless mother made my blood boil. Al did nothing, and their actions punished an innocent child for something not his fault. that and the betrayal by her over not even giving him a chance, yeah id leave them all behind too. 5 stars though

Good story but not great, solid almost 5*. Wench & Hibernate, really??? (if you used an editor - seek another)

The story missed one very needed component, revenge on Terry. The rich bastard that concocted the whole rape thing via money --- got away with it. If Dawn and Shannon were so close, how could Shannon not know Dawn's plans/love for Al - no Shannon was a jealous greedy whore that gets no free pass.

Ralph earned a deathbed come-to-devil moment from Al! Ralph on his death bead was proud of humiliating his wife once last time to shit on Al. Ralph tortured an innocent boy his whole life JUST to shit on his wife - never caring one bit about Al. Al should have told the bitter bastard he hoped Ralph will take a long and very painful lingering death as there is no room in heaven to such a vile curmudgeon --- but never forgive that diablo. Al's weak mother should have dumped Ralph's ass when Al was a toddler to shield Al from this verbal ABUSE. I empathize with Al's childhood.

Great story line, outstanding characterization and dialogue. Superbly written. Kudos, laptop!

Mills and Boone on Literotica! I liked it very much. We can all find fault but its not that easy to write you own. 5-stars! Loved it!!! VER MUCH!!!

I normally like the BTB stories but I found this tale excellent! I really enjoyed it and found that maybe I am just a f'n romantic at heart...lol. 5* from me. Thanks for the story and I can't wait to read your next! .

"Buckeye Fan"

i'm happy you got back to what you do best. You told a really beautiful and moving story. Please keep them coming. You are one of a kind and my fav writer without a doubt

I like the story. Figured they would get back together. Mixed on that one, but you had a good idea.

The only thing I have criticism wise is the Epilogue. Just don't. Leave ththe story. Have an itrospective look at the life to come. I.e AL looked at his wife know there would be good times and arguments... blah blah. The epilogue cheapens the s th or that is untold. Al had been through hell due to lies

No man comes through that unscared. That is left to the reader or a new story. Did they make it? Did they divorce? Did they have the 3 kids... etc. etc. It doesn't matter. The story is great.

The story felt dishonest because it left out out the very real consequences that a person would mete out to asshole Ralph, his weak mother and, especially, Terry, who should be beaten within an inch of his life. If he didn’t, then he should at least address why. Not mentioning it drops this otherwise nice little yarn from a 4 to a 3 or 2 Still, thanks for sharing it with me.

Eric

Good story except for that

Yes Terry deserved punishment but hes out of the picture so why pick at a scab?

Ralph took his anger out on a kid and that was so wrong. Just as wrong as his wife cheating on him.....he should have divorced her. That being said I think god can decide his punishment.

As for going back tyo his girlfriend? I wouldn't have. Being accused of raping or attacking a women is the second worst thing that can happen to an innocent guy.

The first worse thing is people who love you believing the accusations.

...that have broken flint-size chunks of hardness from my tired old heart.

Ignore the tantrums from other comments. The reality of life, for truly good people like these characters, is that any revenge taken out would actually do more damage to their own souls... it would make them lesser than they are. It might even have legal repercussions... maybe even damage the idyllic relationship and bond that these two had as a second chance. Real good people can be soured when faced with the knowledge that a person they thought they loved and trusted, is capable of inflicting pain and humiliation, no matter what the justification.

Burn the bitch, or bastard to ash, sure, if it's appropriate. Not in this case.

Dawn's friend Sarah had a real need for her. That's her punishment, she lost that connection for good. She'll have to carry the guilt, and memories, for the rest of her life. As for Terry, his outlook on life pretty much guarantees, there will be some pain in his future of his own doing. That will have to be good enough.

Maybe, hell end up in one of Saddletramps' works.

His point wasn't actually valid. The story he lied about could happen to anyone of any personality type. Shooting an intruder in self defense isn't anywhere close to RAPING somebody.

If he'd said that Coral WAS the intruder, and stabbed someone to death while robbing their house, would he have believed that so easily? I don't think so.

Nor did he have a chance to ask Coral about it, and then believe her father's story over her when she denied it. If she said "What intruder? Of course I never shot anyone." and he didn't believe her over Jack, then maybe it would be poignant.

It was very clumsy salesmanship from the ol' seadog. But whatever, happy ending.

old friends and new modes of life, TK U MLJ LV NV

4* Shannon & Terry both need to have SOMETHING done to them. While I don't know anything of his family I'd probably start with his purse strings and work from there. MAYBE his family has morals and would do something. Probably not though. With Shannon: a simple whisper campaign through her Hospital that she admitted to a fake rape charge could certainly make life uncomfortable for her. Don't have to ruin her life. Forcing her to leave her Hospital, and maybe the state, to escape a ruined reputation might be enough. It's striking the balance between world ending revenge and a lil' bit of retribution. It makes forgiving her afterwards a little easier!

What kind of a man does torture a kid over his/her mother’s mistakes ? Why not throw the cheating slut out and go on with his life. And there was Dawn too, The ever loving girlfriend ! I would NOT go back to such a stupid woman who believed that I had done such a horrific thing without even looking into it and try to search for the truth. If I were him, I wouldn’t even leave the city or college. I would finish my degree and then find a nice job and move on.

Read it again just now. Loved it both times.

It did bother me though, that he folded so readily in spite of his certain knowledge of his own innocence.

He did ask when the offence was supposed to have been committed, but accepted being fobbed off. The timing was key.

He should have said, " Get Shannon and her so-called witness round here for a chat".

When Dawn replies that Shannon would be frightened to face him:-

"Tell her that false reporting of rape is a serious offence. If she doesn't speak with me, she'll certainly be speaking with the Police tomorrow, particularly after I've given them my alibi".

THIS WOULD HAVE RUINED THE ENTIRE STORY. Thank you LTW for not being bogged by logic.

Terry should have been castrated and the money he gave Shannon should have been shoved up his ass. Shannon should have died of a rare disease at the age of 35. Only an evil woman would do what she did and then try to justify their actions.

All Al needed to do was tell Dawn that he had been working at the time of the supposed rape . He had an alibi. He certainly would have done this, but then this story would have been much shorter.

Why on Earth he'd have anything to do with either of his parents the moment he heard the story about his birth and life...

His "father" tortured him intentionally to hurt his mother... and it seems his mother *let* him be tortured due to her guilt...

Accept his apology?? Fuck no, after finding that out, I'd have wished his father a long life - or rather a long death from the cancer.

And I'd have had nothing more to do with his mother - where was the love for her child?

Staying married for the sake of the children is one thing, staying together to hurt them - completely different.

Dawn, that's a tough one... I mean at least she should have provided him all the evidence against him... not believing him after he couldn't prove his innocence is one thing; not believing him without giving him that chance...? For shame.

Really enjoyed it and liked that it appeared in the Loving Wives Category. Not every LW story has to be a slash and burn revenge on a wife who becomes inhuman for a few weeks and destroys her marriage. This is a great example, Dawn is a true Loving Wife, stayed true to her boyfriend even after making the terrible mistake of believing her friend and not following through with some logical questions. (Like were you studying friday night or working?)

And while the bike trek to Connecticut was extreme Travelers state of mind pushing him into it makes sense in light of his family. He literally has no one else in his corner. Once he strikes out on his own and survives and finds people who have no baggage with him (Traveler isn't THEIR bastard) they judged him on his actions there and he was worthy. The people in his past never gave him that chance, his mother, the real cheating wife of the story served her life sentence for her crime and seemed to have PTSD when it came to her husband. The Stepfather couldn't get past what happened to him and ruined his wife's life and the first 24 years of his step sons life. Once he died real progress could finally be made towards healing but he refused to let it happen even in the face of his step sons condition. And I was glad the entire story didn't revolve around Travelers rich roommate. He created the situation and while it might have been nice to see a side story where he s shamed into helping locate traveler he really isn't the important factor. Perhaps this is a true loving wife story as it involves sin and redemption not just sin and punishment, Dawn waited, there was never that moment (Almost there was) when Al returns to see her in another's arms but that cliche was avoided. Well done, I like this story topic but it gets tiring to read one revenge story after another where a man is the saint and prescient in all matters legal and financial and a woman is insanely stupid in pursuing sex at all costs to her own health and family. Thanks! I'll be reading through your other work, I'm not sure I'm THAT interested in reading any romance stories but maybe I'll give that category a shot if there are more like this in there.

Al would never get back with Dawn after what she did to him. Al has not even thought about Dawn in three years. This ending stinks!

This well written story speaks to me. I don't know the reason why, but stories of "escaping, disappearing," appeal to me. Not that I've had such hatred, disrespect, or betrayal anywhere in my life, or anything even close to it, but the way you've presented this man's character, and his determination to exist alone fascinates. I look forward to reading more. Great job !!

good imagination, terrible spelling, fairy-tale ending, silly american preoccupation with procreation...next story.

Very pleasant to read and I've always been a sucker for a well told story with a happy ending.

Thank you for the read - I've not been on here for so long I've forgotten how to score but a 4 (of 5) or 8 (of ten)

Norm

I dunno. I was kinda hoping that he'd marry Coral. But this worked for me too.

Of all the characters in your story, Coral and Jack where the most interesting ones. The author treated Coral like a prostitute, but I found her more interesting then the other women in your story. And Jack, now he was interesting as well, the fact that you gave up on those two had me scratching my head. Maybe Traveler was smart as hell, but no wisdom. Its like the saying, I know a tomato is a fruit, but it sure doesn't belong in a fruit cocktail. Maybe the author was smart as hell.

great read yet again 5+ would have liked to see Terry and Shannon get there's seem to get away Scott free

I guess the best revenge is a life well lived? Shannon and her butthead buddy were only left alone... Not the retribution they both deserved. There's no way Dawn was celibate for 3 years!!!

I love this story. Its one of those that I come back to when I need a dose of love and forgiveness.

I love that they found each other again after all those years and the spark was still there. So much wasted time by the both of them. She was manipulated terribly by her best friend and lost her love. His terrible abuse and neglect growing up made the betrayal too much to bear. So great

Came to page 2 but the story gotworse and worse, especially the characters

Sounds like a hellish upbringing. Remember reading a book which had similar treatment of a kid (except he was the product of rape, not consensual infidelity). Love the getaway and subsequent adventure, and grateful for the happy ending.

Another Five-Star Story

You have the gift of being able to tell a story without making it too predictable. There are just enough forks in the road to keep the reader guessing. But you still manage to wrap it up in a nice little bow at the end,

I'm envious.

Please keep up the good work.

I really identified with the characters. Especially, the emotion fueled ride from Chicago to New England. I find vigorous exercise is sometimes the best way to deal with strong emotions. Great story, good ending. Thank you

Unfortunately it's a contrived story and that's one thing that turns me off reading a story. It's a contrived story simply because if Al had told Dawn that he had been working a the bar when he was supposed to have raped Shannon there wouldn't have been a story. Fiction has to make sense and Al not telling Dawn he was working at the bar at the time means that this story doesn't make sense.

Because that I skipped through to the end.

Okay, I see that I myself have said that if people acted logically there'd be no story. Having said that, I still find it ridiculous that he didn't simply go to the Police and say that he's been falsely accused of rape, and wants a rape kit done on the "victim."

in LW. The story is well done.

Good story spoilt by the result,he should never have gone back to Dawn.

Enjoyable story.Cannot make my mind if he was right to take her back given she never tried to listen to him or check the facts.

Magnificent story.Such a talented author

I enjoyed this story a lot. I don’t know if Al did the right thing by taking Dawn back but I’m pretty damn sure that life has a lot more shades to it than black and white. And anyone who is too stubborn or too stupid to acknowledge and learn from and change after a mistake is probably going to have a miserable life. I do think sbrooks had a valid point, Al should have insisted Shannon have a rape kit test done immediately, and if she refused, sue her for slander. Anyway, good story, thanks LTW.

Dee

Thank you for this one laptopwriter! A truly delightful read!

Wow, nice storytelling. I wasn't sure if they were going to get together again but it sure was a beautiful road to follow.

Just another of your great stories. Thank you. 5 🌟

Great work. Love the characters and complexity of this story. More if you have it in you.

One comment talked about a rape kit? That never would have proved anything and would not stand out in any way to my way of thinking. The one thing I honed in on was why hadn't Al asked when did the rape happen? It would have been my first thought. That one question would have ended the whole thing because he was working at the bar instead of studying alone in his room. But it was still a great story.

Epilogues are good to clean up the ending of a story but if they are to be believed they can't extend a 30 year time leap without affecting the story. Remember he gave his cell phone the heave ho and Dawn showed the cops a picture of Al and was asked to e-mail it to the cop shop. 30 years ago they were like small boat anchors and didn't have a screen to show pictures or send e-mails with.

Thanks for the story. 5 stars.

This was such a great story. Very well done, I loved every bit of it.

I have this in my favorites. Since we keep getting reruns and garbage stories, I go to this one. I think this time is my sixth time reading it.

What happened to coral. You left her out. I liked her.

Well, that was a ridiculous story. I can't believe it has such a high rating. The whole plot hinges on him not defending himself when he has a perfect alibi because she says, "I don't trust you anymore, Al." So, after pages and pages of filler, they reconcile for absolutely no plausible reason.

The story works for me! Life is too short to hold a grudge,

Well Done!

***** stars.

Burning Love

One of the best EVer. Bar none. Readers complain about the ending because they don't want it to be over...

LWlurker

Five stars, this was a truly deep story. I had to read between the lines to see the emotion beyond the words. Thank you for providing a wonderful tribute to life.

DP

This should be in Romance, not Loving Wives. 5 stars for effort but I was rooting for Coral, not that horrible Dawn.

I agree, should be in he romance category, but it was a heckofa story

Finally a story with a truly good woman who made a simple mistake that cost her enormously but she remained faithful. I was beginning to think the concept of a virtuous woman with actual morals didn’t exist on this site. It really is a shame that so few authors here put value in morality, chastity, and real loyalty. So many women in stories on this site are complete whores with body counts in the 100s, which is insanely unrealistic.

Dawn in this story came across as very believable and one of the most realistic women I’ve ever seen in any story on this site. She’s probably one of the best female characters I’ve seen and that includes much of the romance category.

Overall absolutely fantastic story, 5 stars.

Excellent, beautiful story. Touching ending. Loved it! Thank you for a wonderful story. 25 stars lol.

Second time through and loved it just as much!

There are some authors that when you see a lengthy story you say, "oh, yeah." Laptopwriter is one of those.

An easy read that I don't mind spending the time enjoying. Thanks LTW. Write another.

Many of the contributors to this site rewrite the same story in each submission. Laptopwriter provides us with well crafted, stylish variety. I think that this story is probably my favourite. I am looking to add some of my own work to this site soon and this author has been an inspiration to do that. Thank you Laptopwriter!

Well done, really liked this story. Find it a tad unbelievable that he rode his bike across half the country but I can suspend my disbelief on that part. Love that they reconciled and were able to have a life together.

Damn!!! Love your stories. Gonna keep reading them.

I don't know if I'd get back with Dawn, my first thought would be to treat her like she deservedly did Shannon. But then we wouldn't have had this love story, one of the best out there along with 'Weaver'.

I do take exception to the comment that Dawn couldn't remain celibate for the entire three years she was separated from Al. With the attitude he seems to always express it's pretty obvious he's been doing it for a lot longer than that. *****'s Signed: BTW

The storyline is kind of stupid. He is just about to finish his university degree and he quits because his girlfriend breaks up with him over some lies! When I was in university there was a guy who had been going steady with a girl through his four years of university. Just before fourth year final exams his girlfriend told him that she was gay and she dumped him for a girl! He didn’t quit university. He had invested too much money and time to not graduate. He just told his girlfriend to F-off!

One of your bests. I miss this stories from you because, as other commenter pointed out, you're one of a kind. While most of the writers in LW seem to have a blank pattern page to write the same old story over and over again, you are able to touch our hearts. Please try to reconnect with that part of you that makes you write emotional and deep stories like this one.

Dear author: Wow. How did I miss this story before? (Thought I had read everything from you already.) A beautiful and interesting story. There is creative genius at work here. And this story like others from you could easily be adapted into a movie. You're the best. Thank you. RI

An emotional, riveting tale. Thank you, one of your best! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

This is my third reading of this story. Still find it worth the five star 💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟. From Ali Singapore. Thank you for such a great story.

Simple, it was great.

Great story. The only thing missing is some kind of payback on Terry. Even a karmic event would be nice.

Very good

was hoping that Dawn would have the nerve and desire to secretly move to Stonington and surprise him some morning at the dinner, sort of staking her claim

SO THESE UNEDUCATED COLLEGE CUNTS DONT USE EMAIL ADDRESSES OR RECORD CONVERSATIONS ON THEIR PHONES!!

AL WAS BETTER WITHOUT THE BASTARD PARENTS AND THE BITCH GIRLFRIEND!!

Terry and the bitch accuser get away

I've always enjoyed laptopwriter's stories but one overriding fact was overlooked. The day and time of the alleged assault was the same time he was filling in at the bar. This destroys the motivation for Al to leave because being accused of rape. Remove the alibi and just have him leave because of the lack of trust from Dawn and his parents. And on the way out he could find a way to teach Terry about paybacks.

Fantastic, 5 stars. What I especially enjoyed was Jack's tall tale about Coral shooting the intruder and Al believing it. That story convinced me, like Al, that maybe Dawn deserved to be forgiven. Well done.

Now that was a great story. 5 Stars and favorited.

Someone may have already pointed this out, but I think the part of the fishing boat that broke and needed parts was a winch. Spare parts for a wench requires organ donors, surgeons, and a lot of money. Check the dictionary if you doubt me.

A very long story and I loved every word of it.

6 stars. The Bear definitely approves. The only problem I had was in the beginning, he should have done what he said. It would have obviated everything else. But it would also shit the shit out of a great story. So I'll take it. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

The BEAR

Awesome

2nd read and I stand by my previous comments. This was almost 5*, but failed when letting Terry and Ralph off.

/

Shannon's penalty was loosing a life long friend - whoopee. Dawn perpetuated his despair and should never be trusted again.

/

We all hope Ralph's rotting in hell. I wanted Ralph to live another year in agonizing cancer pain (and he still would not get enough payback).

/

But to let rich Terry slide totally unscathed is what brought the story down a whole point, plus. And he had no other college buddies other than backstabbing Terry that might act some revenge upon Terry???

Thank you once again. Al and Dawn's journey to rekindle their love was well crafted and developed. You have a wonderful way with your writing style. Each time you write a new story I have to read it. You completely grasp and understand the human condition. K

I want to see a story about Shannon...I would like to see her journey through life. I would want several downs at the start, but for her to eventually find happiness.

Every once in awhile there is a story that grabs my attention and wont let go until ive read it beginning to end non-stop. This is one! Please do not take the following critisim of your excellent work, only things that i personally would have like to see

1) The friends with benefits added nothing and actually worked against the feeling of true love between al and dawn

2) i wish brad would have shook al's hand and said something to the effect of his never being worthy in dawns eyes and how al should spend the rest of his life dedicating himself to being the man dawn fell in love with (not the man that walked away from her).

3) wouldnt it have been awesome if shannon had been the one to go to Stonington to confront al and apologize to get al to go back to chicago! Something a true friend would do.

4) i wish there had been more on dawn and al's honeymoon in Stonington. Setup a stonger plot for their retiring there.

I love this story. I would have thrown Shannon a life line for the friendship, maybe not best friends again but something. They were just all stupid college kids. I may be an old middle aged hag but I remember what I was like then, I made some pretty dumb mistakes too. Lots and lots of them.

Loved the story but, really thought it would have been appropriate for Shannon to go to Stonington to find Al and bring him back to Chicago.

JustOneMansOpinion, "A rape kit wouldn't prove anything?" - First of all, it would show if she had intercourse at all. Second, while the "rapist" MIGHT have worn a condom, there's at least a possibility of evidence being left behind.

"Her intentions were good" - Her intentions were good? What good intentions can there be in breaking up your best friend from the guy she loves?

\

Maybe I'm getting crabbier in my old age, and I know it's needed for the story and all, but I would have written her off, tried to make a go of it with Coral. As for Jack's tale about Coral, it's only marginally parallel to Al and Dawn. Al wasn't in love with Coral, and what she "did" was in the past.

good ending

Good story. To those that thought Shannon was treated harshly, she accused Al of a felony that, if true, could result in a long prison sentence. This was not a college prank. She deserved a much more severe punishment.

A great story. I enjoyed all of it.

Read it again and it is still one of my favorite stories

There is No way in Hell that I wound take her back . Let Terry and Shannon enjoy their life in jail . We had a boy accused of that when I was in high School . I and 2 of My friends were the only ones that believed that he was innocent . About 3 months later a girl over heard her admitting she had lied . Even then people still thought he was guilty of raping her .I hope she enjoys her time in Hell . That is the worst thing that can happen to an Innocent Man

If I understand this correctly Dawn stays celibate and Al bangs around for 3 years and she does not care and wants to meet his banging partner. NO WAY. Then is al hunky dory, I don't think so. Whilst I really feel for Al and I understand his running way tactics he did stand and fight to clear his name. This is a very week and fundamental part of the story. Yes he had some very phycological issues from his childhood, don't we all, but he should have at least phoned after two weeks even if it was to just say 'Up Yours'. DO that he would have found out he had been cleared. Reasonable story but not stitched together well.

The story about Coral killing someone wasn't even close to her believing Shannon. Coral had supposedly killed to protect herself, perfectly understandable. He was accused of rape, no justifiable reason for that.

Lovely romantic story, loved it myself. Well written, well told.

Scores 5/5, what else could it get?