All Comments on 'Traveler'

"he did nothing but clean fish below deck but eventually Jack let him start working the wench."

I had originally thought that this was an error, but then we learned about Coral.

(Foreshadowing, well played Laptopwriter)

One of the best stories ever read,here or anywhere,well done

As always.

I can guarantee, not guaranty that you need to learn the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE, need an editor for the missing letters on words and wrong words and to cut down on words, way too long!!!

I really enjoyed this. I got angry at Dawn and Shannon and Terry . . . and then Ralph (oddly, I never got angry at his Mom, despite her cheating). Finally, I even got angry at him for a while . . . then I got to forgiving except for his 'Dad'. It's wonderful how easily you communicated and then transferred feelings to the reader.

Only one very minor thing . . . while it does happen at times . . . usually hospitals aren't going to have a team try and resuscitate a terminal cancer patient. I have seen it happen, but it's pretty rare. The result can be cruel and unfair to the patient and the family, especially if they succeed.

Other than that little thing . . . all of it was fun reading.

I really enjoyed this. I got angry at Dawn and Shannon and Terry . . . and then Ralph (oddly, I never got angry at his Mom, despite her cheating). Finally, I even got angry at him for a while . . . then I got to forgiving except for his 'Dad'. It's wonderful how easily you communicated and then transferred feelings to the reader.

Only one very minor thing . . . while it does happen at times . . . usually hospitals aren't going to have a team try and resuscitate a terminal cancer patient. I have seen it happen, but it's pretty rare. The result can be cruel and unfair to the patient and the family, especially if they succeed.

Other than that little thing . . . all of it was fun reading.

While this story tangentially resembles the ‘husband runs away’, it is unique, and not just because he rides. The betrayal is so widespread, it is crushing. When it seemed that Traveler was going to bury Al in bitterness, his new friends all supported him and allowed him to reconsider love (all while having pretty darn good sex!). Oddly, the only cheating wife was his mother. This is a well-paced and plotted story with rich characters- one of your best! Thanks for writing. 5 stars. JPR

P.S. winch is never wench, and vice versa.

loved the story, great read, BUT..... referring to a winch as a wench did my head in not once but twice. small bananas but keep up the good work

What a great story!

It was nice that Dawn and Al got back together, then got their happy ending. It was also good that Dawn never forgave Shannon... you don't want evil backstabbing traitors like her around. A false rape allegation for $2k? Not much money to ruin the poor guy's life.

It doesn't get much better than that. Thanks for a terrific read:)

You are a really good writer. I loved this story and the happy ending. Can't wait for your next one.

A hard emotional read, but a well written one to keep me going through 9 pages on a single coffee and yes you did get me filling up more than once.

My only criticism is that I think you got the wrong category this really should be in Romance. You didn't even burn Shannon or Terry, where's the LW fun in that?

I new a Terry at school, never got on with him, struggled trusting Terry's ever since.

Thank you LTW

Good story but I have some issues. So the mother allowed the father to be psychologically abusive to the son because she didn't want him to tell the son her dirty secret. 18 years of not only being cold and distant but actively hating a child would lead to far more significant psychological issues than our protagonist exhibits.

I do love a happy ending. Thanks for all the work on this wonderful romance.

This is an absolutely beautiful story, Mr. Laptopwriter. Well done.

Go find your' old friend and do your best to fuck his life up.

Lots of publicity to fuck up both bitchs lives.

Use the match!

Sweet romantic story. Thank you for sharing.

I don’t comment much on stories and I usually read them for the sex. But this one was just too good. I couldn’t stop reading it once I started. It made me late for work. Thanks for posting this. Amazing job!

...and, everyone makes a typo or two, but rarely are they as enjoyable as: "Jack let him start working the wench."

At least, I assume it's a typo. :-)

Thank you for a brilliant story that had me spellbound from start to finish. Looking forward to reading much more of your work. Very best wishes G.

My first time reading one of your stories and I found it to be very entertaining. Thanks!

Good story.

Not complaining, mind you, but that’s where this belonged.

I really enjoyed reading this, it was a treat to feel a connection to a story. It is something I rarely find in stories on this site, either good or bad. You have earned a place amongst my favourite authors, I thank you for your writing talents. Had to be 5***** after that!

Great story, it was well written as expected. I do find this concept of people being betrayed and not being able to move on to be unbelievable!

I know it’s fiction but still, THREE YEARS?!? A bit much IMO.

The ending was a bit much too. I can see him going back to Chicago, putting the past behind him and telling her to move on. I never in a million years expected THAT kind of forgiveness over a false rape charge. That’s some serious shit, you don’t get over that.

I guess it stems from how deep you dug your “villain” in. Dawn wasn’t the real villain but she believed her fiancé was capable of rape, she should have known better. The scene where Jack has Al thinking Coral killed a man also shouldn’t have happened. They were friends for a long time at that point and he shouldn’t have believed it. You broke my suspension of disbelief there.

You could have gone after Shannon and Terry out of revenge. He gets off Scott free in your story. A beating, a lawsuit, charges...anything would have been better than the nothing you gave us there. Her reputation in tatters at the very least was called for.

A serious effort from a serious talent. Excellent storytelling, as expected from you. Very well done, Randi.

Oops! I think I told you that about your last story. You are a really good storyteller with just the right touch to keep things interesting. Muy bueno. 5 stars, naturally.

Full marks!

It's too rare, but when a great phrase leaps out, it commands attention: "salty droplets of regret" did that for me. Great story, and interesting twist on the evil friend who lies and betrays another.

But I made a mistkae with the scoring, only gave it a 4 instead of 5.

If a tale on here can put a tear in my eye then you have done a great job.

JJ

because you are a great storyteller.

When you put out a new story, I'm glad to be self-employed. I doubt I'm gonna make it to the jobsite before 11 today. Thanks for the morning read. I never end up looking at the clock and saying, "That was a waste of time and loss of income!" after finishing one of your stories.

But a few of your missed details are funny.

Some have already been mentioned. But i like the thought of sliding my 'steal rod' into my wife's pussy; it just seems naughtier.

Of course, if you are living in a quaint colonial village, the 'wench' might need to be replaced every few years as happens in this story. (Your two references to it have a 3-year interval occurring in between, so it must have occurred multiple times.) But our gentleman hero should not be thinking that way about women.

If I've ever been to Stonington, i don't remember it; but Paul Revere doesn't remember it, either.

And I'm pretty sure the harbors off Long Island Sound don't routinely ice themselves closed every winter. Not my area of expertise, so I'm willing to be corrected; but salt water harbors, facing south, subject to tide, with the Atlantic being less cold (not necessarily warmer) compared to the GL and the Pacific?? I'm thinking that ice pack is an exception there, not a rule.

It's a good thing Shannon knew Al well enough to recognize his form while diving. How often did she go to his meets? That's a pretty good BFF, to go to your best friend's boyfriend's dive meets. Repeatedly. And you knew him that well, and still tried to break them apart?

The last few times I've visited hospitals, i didn't need a visitor pass. Maybe I'm special. Rarely do nurses see people pass through the lobby, and the public can not track someone's location in a hospital by asking nosy questions about other visitors.

But you were only taking a few liberties, and allowing Shannon to do penance for her maliciousness. That's fair, i think.

All in all, another great story. And i assure you, the story was so compelling that i disregarded most of the little dinging bells in my head.

Some revenge on Terry would have made it 5*s. That just dropped without resolution.

Let's not forget that our intrepid hero got his first friendly benefits from Coral after she brought him back from hypothermia. Then his coworkers found out by seeing the scratches on his back when he removed his shirt 'in the sweltering heat'.

I realize that the sweltering heat could be below decks, not from summer, but it's your obligation to tell us so. Besides, someone recovering from hypothermia needs to keep their clothes on.

The Coral Al knew was a strong person who didn't hesitate to do what was necessary in a situation, whether it was a renter with hypothermia or a dry spell in her sex life. Shooting an intruder intent on attacking her and never speaking of it afterward doesn't seem out of character for her at all.

"Al, I...I think under the circumstances we should stop seeing each other." - Damn straight! If you can't believe me, than I don't want to see you!

Shit, she believed the arrogant asshole over the guy she supposedly loved?

It's obviously a set-up for a FFM threesome!

"Dawn, you were lied to. You can't blame yourself." - Yes, she can, for believing the obvious lie!

How is accusing her best friend's boyfriend of rape doing her a fucking favor? So that she could hook her up with the rich guy? As Dawn said, if money was that important to her, why didn't SHANNON hook up with Terry?

Heh, I don't think she needs to strip nude to share her body heat with him!

FWB's can kiss and make love, not just fuck!

I don't buy Al being somehow to blame for loving Dawn too much or something.

"Yup, slow and easy was the plan.' - Yeah, right!

Part of me was wanting him to find a new life, and for Dawn to be miserable, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending! Five stars.

And very entertaining to read. I had to laugh at a couple of the spelling errors but they were minor and didn't detract from the story. So much better than the cuckold garbage we get on a daily basis. Although this probably should have been in romance since the only married people were his parents. But it will get more "views" here. Thanks for the effort.

5 stars

Just another one of your wonderful stories. You are indeed a master of the written word.

But, I never got the unbridled anger at Dawn.

She was essentially a victim in this. And, Al's reaction was frankly nuts. I get running out the door to blow off steam -- maybe, disappearing a week -- but, no contact after one conversation; no email, no phone, no social media, just because of one conversation is outright nutty. I mean if Al hadn't been such a flake, Dawn could have explained the whole situation right after she learned the truth a day later. And, seriously he lacks the necessary empathy to realize the impossibility of the choice Dawn must have faced when presented with the lie from her best-friend. I mean it really took jack to point out the obvious after three years of contemplating it? Al seems kinda dense. Even his theory about how Dawn was in on it was downright nonsensical.

This isn't really a criticism of your writing (because the story itself was really good), just saying I had a hard time empathizing with a main-character (this time around) who, in this case, was totally incapable of personal introspection and empathy.

I always like your stories but today was a great topper to all. You took my day away of doing everything I had planned, but reading "Traveler" was a great substitute.

Even by needlessly stretching this to nine Literotica pages (about the equivalent of 90 pages in Word), you still didn't establish a reasonable reason for the reconciliation. euzohs

@Martyr2002 - Re: Coral - that's where I disagree with you. I also was leaning toward leaving Dawn in the dust, but the Jack/Coral bit showed how easy it is to believe the worst of someone when you're told by someone you trust, and he didn't even know Jack as long as Dawn knew Shannon. Now, IRL I would have expected Dawn to Al and give him a chance to defend himself, etc. For that matter, he should have INSISTED on her going to the Police or admit that she lied, but then we wouldn't have the story!

@Rw43 - I don't think that Al was thinking about Paul Revere LITERALLY riding through Stonington, just that it was the kind of village he would have ridden through.

Good plot and development but the ending sucks and ends the story making the reader feeling like he is the betrayed for reading all the way through 9 pages to get a forced syrupy conclusion.

good story,, even if a bit long but I enjoyed it ,

I read all the comments and, to a degree, all make some sense despite not agreeing with your story's ending. I enjoyed the tale.

Compulsively putting all the pieces back in their original places is just bad storytelling.

Absolutely riveting. Doggone dust in the air got to me. Well done.

I really enjoyed th story. I like the happy endings.

Too bad the Anonymous commenters refuse to leave their names. Always easier to cut someone down anonymously.

Still can't see how that works.

I can't believe some of the comments. I thought the story was well written and it held my attention for the full 9 pages. Could it have been written in 5 pages? I'm sure that I still would have liked it. This is one of the best "good feeling " stories I have read on this site.

Great work.

Followed you for years. great story. go Cubs

Very obviously in the wrong category.

Another good one from one of my favorite authors. Thanks. It was a great read.

All it would have taken was to say: "Woah. I didn't touch her. When does she claim I raped her? Friday? I went in to work and was there all night. Don't believe me? Ask my boss. Go ahead and call. I'll wait. Here use my smartphone, which won't be invented for another 27 years."

He blew up his whole life over a simple, unfounded accusation and ran away like a coward or guilty person. An innocent person, which he was, would never do that. So many people seem shocked that he reconciled over Dawn"s betrayal, but really, what did she do? He is the one who screwed up his life.

Then there is what seems to have been a magic bike ride that could have only been carried out by a hardcore rider.

Nobody seems to realize the story took place at least 30 to 40 years in the past. I guess nobody really read the epilogue on page 9. Dawn retired after 30 years as a teacher. All of her and Al's kids were grown adults with kids of their own.

So smartphones really began with the advent of the iPhone in 2007. So that would mean their senior year in college could not have been prior to then. But, this is not clear. It seems like it took place in the very recent past, but the epilogue totally screws tt up by adding 35 to 40 years.

Weird.

Nine pages of nothing ending with a BS reconciliation.

Great story LTW,, That was truly one of the best stories I have read on this site. Sometimes its good to see couples that love each other overcome adversity and live happy lives

what happened to coral?

Your work is extra-ordinary and look forward to every post you make. Long? You bet and great to read such a great work. Feeling Al's pain, the truth and revelations about the accusations, his mother, Ralph makes one wonder how much more can the human spirit take being dumped on? A great story from a great writer! heath

Don't pay any attention to the "anonymous" comments, they can shove it. More please.

so much harsh and weird stuff in this section. sometimes I just want to read a story that develops the characters some and has a nice ending. I liked it and gave it 5 stars.

Not sure why all the criticism? I thoroughly enjoyed “Traveler”. I never "pass" on one of your stories. Thank you for contributing.

all make a cruel mistress to sort it out. TK U MLJ LV NV

I thought you did a great job with your story line.the ending was a feel good ending. 3 years on a fishing boat,giving up his almost completed education. A.pathetic man who lived to brutalize him and a week mother. A girl friend who fell into that lie. Strong men do not run. She doesn’t date for three years he kis gone. Then the reconciliation and he goes back marries and they live happily ever after. A Cinderella story.

I can see that happening. Realistic story. Great characters. 10

Yet there were parts not very plausible.

More parts than we are used to

from the talented and imaginative laptopwriter.

Most have been mentioned in comments,

but I'd like to mention those who weren't.

Dawn dumps her boyfriend, who she's convinced

is a rapist and is glad she can avoid in school.

Then she starts looking for him?

Why?

She should be happy he's gone, but isn't.

That just doesn't make any sense to me.

Then we have a love that lives three years,

against all odds.

Sounds more Disney than reality to me.

And why did Al put his life on hold

because of the people he left behind?

He had planned to go back to school

within a year, but suddenly that plan disappeared.

Why?

This was a good story.

So many good points in the plot and

some very interesting characters.

But sadly some bad points too.

4 out of 5 from me.

too long for starters, pacing too slow. and lacking credibility. no good reason for a false accusation. no good reason to break up without weighing the evidence carefully, no good reason to reconcile. i love a happy ending but i have to believe in the path used to get there. this one didnt achieve that

miscommunication or lack of communication are lazy plot devices. Oh, if I had only known, if you had just called, if you had let me explain, if you had answered your phone, read your emails, or just generally pulled your head out of your ass and continued to stay in touch with people like a normal human being, everything would have been so different.

Its just unfortunate when short-cuts or lazy plot devices are used to expedite a generally sound plot that just needs more believable acts and circumstances to make a compelling dramatic story.

The whole fake rape scenario was simply unbelievable. Also unbelievable is Al not determining that running away without leaving a trace would tend to confirm that he was trying to hide, as if he had actually raped Shannon. Of course Al would have quickly realized he had a sound alibi and would have confronted Shannon with her lie. So the whole basis for his just disappearing was too contrived and ignorant, it ruined the story.

So, not terrible, but could have been great. Thanks for the effort just the same.

I was hoping at the end that Dawn and Al would find their way back to each other. You should continue this storyline with chapters on Shannon and Tyler

The steal rod and moist warm home sentence was hilarious but the rest of the story was a helluva yarn

The whole idea of him riding away from the false accusation when he knew he could get his boss to prove that he was working at the bar is ridiculous. Then to let him cave in in the finale kind of defeats the whole point then to pour treacle over the whole thing with a pointless epilogue finally killed it. The better outcome probably needed him to find happiness elsewhere and Terry et al suffering for what they did. Nonetheless, thank you for your time and effort, most of your work is exceptionally good it is a shame this one missed the mark for me .

For me, this was a compelling read. It was hard to “put down” and written in a way that didn’t ever definitively give away the end until the last couple pages. Because of that I don’t think it felt long at all. This is one of your best deserving a rare 5* from me.

This was one good piece of writing. As a bicyclist, I can tell you the cross country bike trip scenario is realistic. I did similar trips when I was young and they can be done with little to no planning and no gear.

Also, you were a smart observer of human behavior when you had Jack say "You've known Coral for three years yet you believed something that was completely and totally out of character for her because it came from a trusted source, me. You never even gave a thought to the possibility of me lying to you." Very well put!

Again, great story!

Thanks for putting so much effort and attention to crafting such a compelling tale. You character development was mainly focused on Al, but with enough surrounding him to provide a dynamic plot. I was taken by the twist concerning Al's father. That was previewed nicely leading up to the disclosure. Fortunately, most people -- even those who were abused as children -- have no idea the lasting imprint made on a person's habits, personality, preferences, thought patterns, assumptions, etc., by thoughtless and heartless treatment by influential adults in their formative lives. The first 10 years of life are crucial. Everything else is derivative.

Nice, thoughtful writing.

Very enjoyable book like read. Thanks for sharing.

Overall pretty good plot, although the easy and obvious alibi undercut Al's actions seriously.

Cora, and her crude and unpleasant "no kissing" proclamation, were a complete turnoff and hardly believable. Certainly FWB's can and do kiss. A woman who would approach intimacy this way is not high on my draft. Then they have sex 3-4 times a week for THREE YEARS. Just no.

Shimano is the biggest and most well known maker of bicycle parts. I personally have never heard of them making and selling a Shimano brand bicycle. Have they ever done so? Anybody?

The time span issue is real. When is this set? Is the epilogue set in the notional future?

Oh, well, still pretty good!

This is more of a romance novel than an erotic one, also how come it is under loving wives, sorry good writing but not for erotica!!

overall a good read, but a few glaring mistakes than an editor could fix.

e.g. he almost dies of hypothermia but a day later someone notices his scratches because he has to take his shirt off due to the sweltering heat?

That kind of error takes you out of the story. Just saying.

Well constructed decent good story.

No sex was necessary for this to be a great love story. Reading the end was hard with my 'burning' eyes.

I would love to see this expanded to full novel length.

It was an epic adventure for Al, and a life crushing trauma for both Al and Dawn. So many interesting characters and story lines. Al’s life on the water with Jack and “Abby”, FWB romance with Coral, friendship with Amelia. Redemption for Shannon? Karmic retribution for Terry (what a piece of shit he was!) ? Resolution for Brad? You could hang a lotta meat on the bones of this story.

I guess that’s a left handed way of saying I really liked Traveler, and as long as it was, I think it came and went too quickly, before I was ready to say goodbye to the characters.

Thank you.

I did enjoy this story, but I had a few issues with it that troubled me.

For one, it's a good thing they tried their little scheme on the night he happened to get called into work on his night off, or his "true love" would have spent the rest of her life assuming he was a monster on the word of a dude who was trying to get into her pants, and a friend who was trying to push her to that guy.

To the people complaining about how unrealistic it is that he would bail after his own family didn't believe him, I'd try and keep in mind that he was blindsided with this. it's not like he had time to really plan his reaction, and no one would expect a friend to suddenly accuse them of rape falsely. Him insisting that she call the police was a good first step, and should have bought him at least an "I need time to figure this out" instead of a straight up dumping from his fiance.

Another problem I had was with the mother. Apparently, she loved her husband so much that she was willing to stay with him, permitting him to emotionally abuse her innocent son for his whole life, but not so much that she wasn't willing to screw around on him (without protection) with her ex, with the described motive of essentially "I saw a chance to fuck and old boyfriend and took it."

I didn't feel him believing his fuck buddy who didn't even know about his past's father that she once shot an intruder in self defense (hardly a monstrous action) to be comparable to his fiance believing he would one day randomly rape her best friend, and still believing it after her friend acted like nothing was wrong the very next evening and she was asked out on a date by the supposed witness to his crime.

Also, seriously, no revenge on Terry AT ALL? The guy tried to ruin his life forever over a chance at some pussy. Paying for a P.I. when he's wealthy hardly makes up for that.

Also, did Shannon and Dawn make a point of spreading the news of Al's innocence around campus, since it was mentioned that Dawn had told the school gossip Betty about the rape? That rumor could still have come back to bite him, big time, especially since they moved back to Chicago.

Finally, I think the story would have been better served with a shorter gap. Three years is a long time for a woman to stay faithful to a man she doesn't even know for sure is alive, who she was willing to throw under the bus without really hearing him out first. I didn't mind the reconciliation since she didn't end up with Terry at any point. Falling for that part of their scheme would have been a complete deal breaker, since that's the point when I figured she would start to question their story, though that didn't end up happening until she went to Al's work. I do think he should have asked her point blank if she was ready to have his back from now on before restarting their relationship.

All that said, you had no trouble holding my attention for 9 pages. I enjoyed the characters, and even liked most of them (excluding Terry, Shannon, and Al's parents. In my opinion, they're all scum.) Coral and Jack were interesting and added some fun flavor. The spontaneous cross country bike trek was certainly a unique plot point. All complaints aside, this was a good one. I just think with a few fixes, it could have been an all-time classic.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

I waited to comment because I wasn't sure how I felt about this story. With a few exceptions, I don't like stories in which the guy just runs away. In this case, him running away was even more irritating because he was innocent and running away made him look even more guilty. Of course, if he didn't run away this story would have been 3 pages instead of 9, so I get that it was essential. Still, it irritated me. I don't like running away. It's just not my thing.

Also, his mom irritated me. Not the dad; the mom. The reveal of why he was mistreated made her seem weak. Her guilt over cheating was understandable, but to sit back and watch a man ruin your son's life so that he could punish YOU is weak and pathetic. The only way that scenario ends well is if you create an immortal badass vampire/werewolf hybrid like Niklaus Michealson and make him rage though the ages with a chip on his shoulder.

The good things about this story was the writing and the characters. They were believable, enjoyable, and fleshed out.

Thanks for the story.

A very good story and well written. I'd like to have seen Terry feel some consequences, though.

5*

Deserves everyone of 5*s.

Glad to see a local guy do so well with his writing.

Industral park of Elk Grove, that was funny😄.

So does this mean that Laptopwriter will soon be a published author??

I hope it does..... From Chicago I'm

AMerryman

I should dock a mark for being in the wrong category but it was so good it gets full marks. Well done!!!

Okay, the story required quite a bit of suspension of disbelief. We can argue whether it was too much or not, but the bottom line is that the story doesn't exist if everyone acted "logically."

SPOILER ALERT, if you haven't read the story yet don't read my comments!!!

I get it. Love triumphs in the end. The guy gets the girl and lives happily ever after. I wanted to like this, but I just couldn't get there.

1. A fiancee would not know her man was working on a Friday night instead of studying? So they didn't talk at all, compare schedules, find time to be together, etc

2. An almost life-long friend would be stupid enough to ruin her best friend's man's life (who she had no grudge against) on the chance she might fall for money on the rebound?

3. Friends with benefits, but no kissing! Yeah, sure.

4. Shannon haunts YouTube and happens to see a backward dive of a fully clothed man 3 years after the last time she ever saw him and immediately recognizes the form. LOL...ok

5. Dawn has no social life at all for 3 plus years out of a sense of guilt. Sort of the "joining a convent" plot device?

6. Coral saved him from hypothermia with her nude body but the crew sees scratches on his exposed bare back on the boat. That global warming must have hit pretty suddenly.

7. Captain Jack making up a story about Coral killing an intruder is given as people will believe bad things without proof. My view is it would easily be believed and seen as a strong independent woman refusing to be a victim and defending herself. I think this would be viewed as not surprising nor a bad thing.

8. Bloated, wordy story in dire need of editing.

I've thoroughly enjoyed other works by this author, I just could not suspend enough disbelief for this one.

that he didn't rape the roommate, why wouldn't he go with that? Why get bitter and leave?

It colored the whole story for me. Not bad, but that's a glaring problem and made the story unbelievable.

Another great story from an excellent Lit writer. Every time it seemed to go down an old familiar Loving Wives path, the story took a curve. Kept me guessing where it would end. The happy ending was a bonus.

BTW - funny our latest B&K story published on the same day dealt with a similar issue - a man finds out his son is not his biological child. Our husband continues to love the boy and wife and leads a relatively happy life; your husband becomes bitter and makes everyone unhappy, including himself. Your husband seems to have made the more popular choice here on LW. We've played it both ways in previous stories; not everyone can get past the betrayal.

Anyway - thanks for a great tale, enjoyed it immensely.

Bill

I have really enjoyed your stories. This one really struck home for me. Please keep up the great work!

when Dawn indicated she wanted to honeymoon in Stonington. Just hit me hard, that kind of love and understanding is truly what we all desire to experience. Easy 5*.

There is the acussation of betrayal at the beginning which transferred a lot of kinetic energy to Al but the overall tone of the story is one of romance. I am happy that it was in the wrong category because I read it as such with much pleasure. Which brings me to another point, If I hadn't opened it , I would never have known that it was Laptopwriter's work! I really would have been disappointed if I had missed something of his. Perhaps the Lords of Literotica would consider changing the format so I can spot my favorite authors immediately?

Loved Jack’s trick about Coral having killed a man. But if Al was working when Shannon concocted the rape, why didn’t he use the alibi to discredit her and convince Dawn?

The quick resolution undercut the story for me.

Basically, if all of this was so easy to resolve, then that makes the MC a petulant teenager who ran away and refused to take his head out of his ass, giving up a few years of his life for no good reason.

Conversely, if this was something that hurt him so deeply that he honestly needed to abandon all of his possessions and life plans, run away and hole up somewhere for years, then it's something serious enough that he's not going to get over it that easily.

And not just because both protagonists went for long bike rides in the northeast US.

In that story there was no reconciliation till Bennie was in his retirement years. This one has reconciliation while they're young. Now what's needed is a story where there is reconciliation but it doesn't work because of the broken trust. Any takers?

a) it's of the kind where, unlike the world we inhabit, despite various issues the story brings the main characters and readers to a gratifying sense of fulfillment, desires met and debts paid. As it finally does, mostly. But our rich manipulative snob Ralph does not deserve to be forgiven or ignored. Al and Dawn owe him, and without being corrupted by vengeance they should be shown improving the world by finding a clever way to pay him back, and succeeding. And

b) At last, finally, that poor inadequate "wench" (no, neither Shannon nor Dawn) on board the fishing boat became what it always was, a "WINCH!" Thankfully!

It was a well-written short story but captivating. Wasn't sure I wanted to finish reading but you caught me.

The moral of the story, love conquers all (sometimes).

T.T.

It's not clear at the beginning that he knew the ALLEGED rape took place on Friday, though since he's talking about the whole campus talking about it on Monday says that this is the weekend, so Friday or Saturday are likely possibilities.

As for her knowing his schedule, as far as she knew he WAS off on Friday.

As much as I liked the story, it might have been better if he asked the obvious questions and his innocence STILL wasn't immediately obvious when he took off, like maybe he wasn't working when she was supposedly raped.

The husband in this story didn't make the more popular choice. Nobody roots for a wronged husband to stick around and abuse a child. The popular choice here is for him to dump the cheating bitch and find a decent woman who actually loves him to marry. Your story was different because the husband deserved what he got. He cheated first, and for much longer.

Fish don't "hibernate" that I know of, they do "migrate" to warmer waters much like birds do.

Loved the story, kept me up way past my bed time.