All Comments on 'Travelling to My Home'

Good first story!

4

This could have been so much better if you had bothered to proof read it slowly. I lost count of the spelling errors and omissions. I strongly suggest that you re-write this with a great deal more care. The plot is fine. The careless writing awful.

You requested feedback and I’ll try to point out some issues.

Most importantly you need to pick a tense (past or present) and stick with it. Secondly, there are many misspelled words and typos. Strongly recommend a proofreader or editor. The story is interesting with a few loose ends. What exactly attacked him. Who was she, what was her position in life and where was the child’s father?

Overall a good start. Keep at it. After you’ve written ten to twenty tales, you’ll knock one out of the park. Good luck.

Enjoyable. Perhaps avail yourself of an editor to help with the small stuff...

Needed proofreading

Needs work. Needs more of a backstory for context. There are many skipped words or totally wrong words, but the basic story line is good.

I agree with Anonymous. Good story spoiled by a lack of proof reading. Get an editor.

Glod first story, you just need to proof read it a lot more and make sure you avoid the spelling mistakes, and also try more teasing and more of a build up to the first sex scene, but other than that its a pretty good first story

Though there are many errors, it is still a delightful story.

For a first submission, A very praiseworthy story. Continuation could afford the opportunity to further flesh out the characters and the backstory and to proofread as suggested by others. I would welcome more of this, or any other, story by you. Please continue your efforts.

I loved the story, but you need SERIOUS help with you English, grammar and sentence structure. Get you a good editor and keep writing! You could easily write a second or more chapters about this couple.

I really liked the story, kinda wished it was longer. Can't wait to see your writing after u get an editor. Going to favorite you just to see what you write in the future.

Magnifique histoire. J'ai adoré. Continuez à écrire.

You could have easily made this story much longer as you teased us with the background of both main characters and the fact there is probably much to tell about them.

Given that, you could easily expand this story into a series exploring both of their pasts and as well as an adventurous future. A powerful Woodwitch and a skilled Knight along with a cute precocious young daughter and son could make for some fun and interesting stories.