All Comments on 'TRC - Searching for the Sky Ch. 03'

Great chapter, and I’m glad the chronology is back to the current time frame. Nice bit about how magical healing can be confused as well.

A few typos slipped through.

Also when dialoguing, the end of a paragraph doesn't get quotations and the beginning always does. The last paragraph of a dialogue will have both opening and closing quotations. It was bugging me cause I was having to figure out if someone was still talking or not.

I submitted the edit, there were a couple of other ones typos that got missed as well aside from the quotes. FYI Grammar/spelling/structure issues are best brought up in the private feedback. I get notifications for those in my Email so I can take care of them right away, opposed to waiting until the next time I check the comments .

I am enjoying how it all flows and the prep for the escape and the issue that will follow. Great new characters development can't wait for the slime girl.

Interesting bit about heavy metal poisoning. Wonder if he will figure out how to fix it.

Another awesome chapter. Great buildup to an exciting episode. Thanks for sharing. JT

Maybe I shouldn't make a big deal about it, and I hope I'm not hilariously late in my presumption... But that smells like something... interesting. Aside from that, just purely wondering about how that could function, or how it would translate sounds very fascinating.

Love how you keep presenting challenges for Kal to overcome, then when he has a great idea you go, oh no no, its not That simple, try again. Taking some influence from some more recent irl things for me, its like you're running a campaign of DnD for a solo player, and giving them all the opportunities to do what they want, and then spicing it up for them so they can keep interested. Plus, the new idea is better regardless of whether the first one would have worked out. ^.^ So there's that.

Also, for whatever stupid reason I started writing before I had finished the last few paragraphs, but boy did that give me a chuckle. Poor Sack.

Maybe if jpz007ahren wrote something a little more recent than 2012 or more than 3 chapters, I could take his comments a little more serious. Bludrygn and old fart are doing fine at editing.Thanks for letting us ride along on this adventure

A different slant somewhat with a bit more of a challenge, let's see where it goes. 5 stars.

Your bag of holding avatars are being implemented in my next session.

All authors need to include index avatars with personality into their bags of holding.

So ingenious

👍 👍 The better the story gets, the better it gets, recursively speaking.....