All Comments on 'Tricking My Elder Sister into Anal'

I know this is your first story.

But please make it your last one too.

I was laughing when I finished your story. After reading the two previous comments, I laughed more. Ah what the hell, It's a fantasy right? LMAO!

I agree with a previous comment. Probably the worst story I've read on this site. Pitiful. Is the writer 4? Mentally challenged? Both. BARF. Wish I could go below 1 star. Please please don't write anything else.

Pretty terrible, not helped by English clearly not being your first language.

Please stick to READING stories. Awful.

Don't let the others get to you. Yes, you have a long way to go as a writer. And it shows. But that's how we all started and you can only get there if you try and get better.

You should try and look how people write dialogue, with quotes. Use that, instead of all those "she said that...". It helps with the story flow.

Most people also like characters who are at least decent human beings. Don't make the main character an asshole, give him at least some positive attributes, make him care about the sister at least a little. He can be selfish, but within reason.

And I am of 18 years, being of had. My older sister is younger than me. Figure that one out. You having written a story of gibberish. Sticking to your native language for purposes of writing erotica. Not sticking to your native language means to not read your stories, they being of shit.

Am I overdoing the criticism of your poor English skills? Maybe, but only slightly. Could I write erotica, or ANY kind of story in another language? No. But then again, I didn't, did I? YOU wrote this. It's garbage. I hope you'll learn from this doomed attempt and NOT REPEAT IT.

Id like to see more of this story

Of course you could use an English editor but the story was understandable and enjoyable. Please continue to write.

This story is not to hurt anybody... of course it is a fantasy. Sorry about my English. I have not edited it properly.

Thanks for your comments..

I enjoyed reading it..... nice one.

Good concept but like other have posted you need to work on your english, also you overused the "I said / she said", instead you could make a new paragraph with the dialogue inside the "quotation".

People are so nasty on here! Keep writing, Love. I enjoyed it. 😊

This story is rewritten and shared on this comment section with more content .........by the same Author.