Tried To Do The Right Thing

Sonja turned back to me. Looked me over again, then got very close to me. I was half afraid she was going to try to scratch my eyes out or something. She looked a lot tougher than I was. She got her face inches away from my face.

"Enjoy it while you can, bitch. He'll fuck you, then kick your ass out too."

"As long as she sucks my dick the way she did earlier, I may just keep her."

"Your dick is the only thing you care about."

"That's what a woman is for -- to take care of my dick."

Sonja turned and stormed off as Rob and some of his friends laughed. We ate and hung out for a while until Rob took me back to his place. I didn't care much for hanging out as a girl, but while we were out, Rob wasn't fucking me. I knew that he'd want that when we got back. We no sooner got in the door, before he was kissing me and rubbing my ass.

I almost preferred that he just fuck me. No, I didn't want him to fuck me, but kissing and touching was too intimate. At the same time, as he kissed me, I couldn't help but start to kiss him back. I could feel his cock getting hard in his pants, and he rubbed it up against me. We stood kissing for a while, before he led me into the bedroom.

"Okay, girl. Which do you want first, to suck me off or have me fuck your ass?"

Clearly Rob intended to do both. Given the choice, I'd rather suck his dick while it was comparatively clean. I got down on my knees and instead Rob pulled me over to the bed. He stripped and lay down on the bed with his hard cock sticking straight up in the air. I got on the bed and took his prick in my mouth. I still used my hand at the base. I could not deep throat and didn't want to gag.

I bobbed my head up and down, taking him as deep in my mouth as I was able. I think I managed to get him a little deeper than I had the previous time, but not a lot. I could taste his pre-cum on his dick and there was still the slightest tang from my ass still on it too. For most of the time, he just let me suck him at my own pace.

It was going pretty well until he grabbed my head and jammed his cock so deep in my throat that I couldn't breathe and also choked. He came in great spurts and I tried to just hang on until he loosened his hold. I pulled back and had to swallow his cum before I could even take a breath. I was starting to get a little dizzy from lack of air.

When he let go of me, I slumped over on the bed and tried to recover. I panted for a couple of minutes as he lay there with his prick deflating. As I caught my breath and he recovered from his orgasm, he rolled over and unzipped my skirt. He lifted on my hips and I raised them from the bed and he pulled my skirt off. He took off my blouse as well, and I lay there in bra and panties.

"That was great, Joanie, baby. It's just too bad you don't have boobs and a pussy, because I'd sure love to use those if you did."

"That's not what I was born with."

"Maybe we can do something about that."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Don't get your panties all in a wad."

"It's bad enough that I'm wearing panties."

"You'll get used to it."

"Fuck."

"Once my prick recovers, we will."

"That's the way it's going to be?"

"You had choices. You still got choices. You don't like it, put your clothes back on and walk that ass out of here."

I had nothing to say. I had nowhere else to go. Even if there was a homeless shelter anywhere close, which there wasn't, what would they think of me walking in there in full drag? They'd probably throw my ass back out on the street. I was stuck. I was fucked. And I was about to have Rob fuck me again. I lay there silent for several minutes, until Rob decided he was ready.

He fucked my ass twice more that night, before he was tired enough to get some sleep. I guessed I probably was better off. I was being fucked, but he was comparatively gentle about it and I got food and lodging out of it all. Would I rather have gone without being ass fucked? No doubt, but that didn't seem to be an option.

* * * * *

So I became Rob's girl, even if I didn't want to think of myself as a girl. I dressed as a girl, used makeup and fixed hair and such. I became responsible for doing cleaning at Rob's place, including laundry. He made me learn to cook and I began to do the cooking as well. After a short time, he told me I needed to find a job.

"Look, with you here, there's more expense for food, water, electricity, and shit."

"But wouldn't that mean...?"

"You'd be looking for a job as Joanie -- as a girl."

"I don't know what kind of job I'd be qualified for."

"Sales clerk in a store. Dumb ass office work. That kind if shit."

"So when did you want me to start?"

"As soon as you can find a fucking job, girl."

"I guess I could begin."

"What do you mean, guess? Get your fucking ass out there tomorrow and start to work right away."

"And the money I make?"

"A chunk of it comes to me to pay for this place. The rest is yours for your hair, nails, clothes, and makeup."

I went looking for a job the next day. Rob had no computer, so I went to the library and used their computers to scour job postings. I could apply for some online, but others I had to show up in person. A few times I managed to get interviews and worried that someone would figure out I was a guy in women's clothes. If anyone did, they didn't say anything.

Part of the issue was that Rob worked days and wanted me back at his place most evenings. That ruled out fast food places that would make me work evenings and weekends. It took a while before I was able to line up a day job. I did have some computer skills so I managed a low level office job. It also meant I was around guys all day, including some who thought they should be able to date me.

"You and I should have a drink after work sometime."

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can -- very easy."

"I'm under the drinking age in this state."

"We just need to get you a good fake ID."

"And the guy I live with wouldn't appreciate it."

"I won't tell him if you don't."

"He expects me to come home after work."

"Just tell him you're going out with the girls."

"Not unless you show up in a dress."

"Don't be that way, Joanie."

"Not happening. Rob is too jealous."

"You should be able to find a way."

"I don't want to find a way. I appreciate the offer though."

He was far too typical of those guys who tried to chase me. Mercifully the office had a contingent of gay men, so I mostly tried to hang out with them at work. They helped run off some of the guys who clearly wanted to get in my panties. Shit, it was bad enough having Rob fuck me, even if I was reaching the point where I mostly enjoyed it. And most of those guys would not appreciate my having a cock.

A couple of weeks after I began living with Rob, he came home with a bottle of pills. He told me I needed to take one and that I'd be taking them regularly from now on. That puzzled me. I had no health issues so I wasn't sure why I needed any pills.

"What is this pill?"

"It's a pill you need to take."

"What does it do?"

"It makes you a better you."

"Why do I need to take it?"

"Because I told you to take it."

"It's not some weird way to get high, is it?"

"It won't make you high."

He was very adamant, so I took one. I felt a little funny, but there didn't seem to be any ill effects, so I figured it was easier to take the damn things to make him happy. I didn't really notice much of anything at first. Then I noticed that I seemed to have less body and facial hair to worry about. That was a positive and saved me some time and effort.

I noticed some tenderness around my nipples, which puzzled me. Then very slowly, I began to develop boobs. I seemed to add fat around my hips and my face looked a little different. My skin got softer and a bit drier, and my balls seemed to shrink. As it turned out, Rob had put me on hormones to feminize me. Rob was turning me into what he wanted me to be.

I still had a penis, but in most other ways, I was becoming more and more a woman. Rob told me I needed to do a legal name change from Johnny to Joanie. It cost me a couple hundred dollars but I did it. I suppose at times even I wondered why I did some of these things. I still had no better place to go, and even though I was working, I didn't make enough to afford my own place.

I wasn't sure how I would even be able to return to being a guy. In one sense, I was actually becoming the girl that Rob wanted me to be. Why did he keep doing this instead of tiring of me and throwing me out? I suppose because he wanted a fully compliant person as a lover. While he might have preferred a 'real' woman, what he wanted was a woman of some sort who would do what he wanted.

After about six months, I had boobs and in name and most everything else was a woman except between my legs. One Saturday, Rob and I were sitting at what I was now thinking of as our place, when there was a knock at the door. I never had friends over, but Rob occasionally did. Rob had a strange smile and told me to answer the door.

I opened the door to find my father and Tiffani standing outside. I just stood there shocked for a few seconds before Rob spoke.

"Well are you going to fucking let them in?"

I stepped aside and opened the door wider. My father and Tiffani walked in. My father sneered as he looked me over carefully. He laughed and shook his head as he looked at me. Tiffani had a smirk as she looked me over. They came in and dad took a seat on the couch beside Rob, as Tiffani stood nearby. I closed the door, but stood near the door.

I wanted to run. I wanted to run far away. I wanted to run to where no one knew me -- no one who had known me as I had once been. I was ashamed of what I had become. I was a girl and I was Rob's compliant slut. Someone he could fuck at will -- someone who was in no position to deny him anything -- someone who would be and do whatever he wanted.

"I suppose I should have known what a faggot my so-called son really was."

"I'm trying to help her become what she truly is. You can see the results."

"Well, Tiff, honey, maybe you should have let her fuck you. Maybe she wouldn't have turned out to be quite so big a fag."

"I doubt that it would have really mattered."

"So you fuck her as a girl?"

"She has a mouth and ass and I use them whenever I want -- just no pussy -- not yet anyhow."

"I mean, you dress her up like a girl, but -- "

"It goes farther than that. Take off your blouse and bra, Joanie."

"You... you want me to,,,?"

"You heard me, take it fucking off."

I just stood there for a few seconds before Rob glared at me. I had on a pullover top, and pulled it up over my head and took it off. Rob held out his hand, and I handed it to him. I stood there in my bra, skirt and panties until Rob made an impatient gesture. I started to turn away from them to unfasten my bra, but Rob didn't like that.

"Face this way, girl."

I faced them as I reached behind my back to unhook my bra. It started to slip forward, though truthfully I didn't want to uncover my boobs in front of them. Rob held out his hand again and I took the bra off, putting my arm across my boobs, to hide them. I had actually gotten to a small b-cup, but I was ashamed of being a boy with boobs.

"Put your hands to your side, girl."

I moved my hands to my sides, completely uncovering my boobs. I could feel tears of shame starting to form on my eyes as I stood there. Tiffani walked over to me and put her hands on my boobs. She ran her thumbs over the nipples and massaged the boobs themselves. I was shocked that Tiffani had anything resembling interest in my boobs. She turned back to Rob and my dad.

"They have a nice feel. Natural?"

"I've had her on hormones and she grew them herself."

"I bet you like playing with these."

"She gets off on having me play with them too."

That was true. Once I started to develop boobs, Rob loved playing with them. I was surprised at how good it felt when he did play with them. I couldn't get a hard-on or ejaculate any more so most of my pleasure came from Rob paying with my boobs and from Rob fucking my ass. My pathetic little weenie had become nothing but an afterthought.

Rob never had any interest in my penis, and never touched it in any way. Early on, I would stroke myself when I could. I began thinking about girls and how I'd like to fuck them with my penis. The longer I went, the less I thought about girls and the more I thought about Rob or some other guy fucking my ass. Now I couldn't even get it up to stroke to orgasm.

My father got up off the couch and walked over to me. I wanted to get away from him, but Tiffani had put her arm around me and was holding onto me. As he got to me, he looked at me and sneered again them reached out and grabbed my boobs. He was not as sweet and gentle as Tiffani, and roughly pawed them. I couldn't believe my own father would grab my boobs like that.

"Nice boobs. Kind of small though. Tiffani has much nicer boobs."

"And I expect you to give my boobs plenty of nice attention when we get home."

I could feel my face flush as my father continued to play with my titties. I felt trapped and used -- not just by Rob, but now by my father and Tiffani as well. Rob sat on the sofa holding on to my top and my bra as daddy got off on my humiliation. Finally, I guess he figured he had humiliated me enough and he let go of me and went back to the sofa.

"You should consider having her get implants."

"I like the real ones. Nice to know I'm grabbing flesh, not just salt water or silicone."

"Hey, Tiff, you ought to show our little girl what nice boobs look like."

Tiffani was still standing beside me and she was wearing a tube top, clearly with no bra. She pulled up her top to show me her boobs, which I had seen months earlier when she tried to seduce me. She reached out, grabbed my hands and put them on her boobs. I was frozen and didn't know what to do. She held my hands tight, so I couldn't easily pull away.

She let go of one of my hands and reached out and grabbed one of my boobs with that hand. She began to massage that boob, as I stood there with my hands still on her breasts. She grabbed my other boob with her other hand and then got very close to me with her boobs rubbing against my chest as my boobs rubbed against hers.

She then pulled me close and began to kiss me. I couldn't help but kiss her back. She let her hands run down my back and began to squeeze my ass. Rob and my father sat there watching this whole thing as Tiffani made out with me. My hands moved down to her sides and rested on her hips. I felt weird making out with this woman particularly with an audience.

"Too bad you haven't taken her all the way."

"We're not there yet."

"If you did, we could have some girl-on-girl action and have some real fun from there."

"That'd be something to watch."

"I'd love to have her lick my pussy and I'd lick hers if she had one."

"I... I don't... have one."

"Then after fucking me, you'd stick your dick in your little girl's pussy, wouldn't you?"

"Tiff, baby, you know me too well."

"Maybe we can get together for some fun down the road."

I dreaded the thought of exactly what kind of fun that might be. As it was, I was having more fun than I wanted, even if I did seem to get physical pleasure from it. Tiffani let go of me and pulled her tube top back down over her boobs, while I stood there topless. My father and Rob got up off the sofa and walked to the door. Tiffani whispered to me before she joined them.

"Now don't you wish you'd taken my offer when you had the chance?"

Rob grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the door. They opened the door, which meant I was standing topless in front of an open door. One of our neighbors walked by, glanced in, and was shocked to see me topless. He paused for a few seconds, with a big grin on his face, before he left. Tiffani kissed me again before she left.

* * * * *

Things more or less went back to normal. Sadly, perhaps, I was beginning to see living as a girl to be normal. I worked during the day, and I cooked and cleaned at night. Rob fucked my ass and mouth every night. We went out once or twice a week. Somehow I was feeling that being Rob's lover was my normal. Was it a normal I would have chosen? No, but it was the normal I had.

I realized that I would never again live as a male. Too much had happened and I had gone through too many changes to ever go back. With what I was making, I couldn't afford to live on my own. I wasn't going to find any other lovers as I was. Seriously, I was somewhere part way between being male and being female. No women would want me this way, and neither would most men.

Essentially, I was dependent on Rob for any sort of life. I couldn't imagine ever moving back to my father's house, even if he would let me -- not after having had him grope my boobs the way he did. Before I was compliant, but now I was even more so. I wanted and needed Rob to be happy with me. If he wasn't happy, I wasn't sure what I would do.

The first time Rob said he wished I had a pussy so I would be all girl and he could fuck that too, I was appalled. The more I thought about it the more I realized that if I stayed as I was, halfway there, then Rob would get tired of me and kick me out. I felt almost desperate not to be kicked out and to keep Rob happy with me.

So as he talked about me getting the surgery to get a pussy, I agreed. What did it matter to me? My cock was useless and in another sense, the idea of having him fuck something other than my mouth or my ass was appealing. It was more like having a real lover. It wasn't cheap though, and I had to be certified through a doctor.

I visited a doctor and went through everything I had to. I showed how long I had been living as a female. He saw the effects of hormone therapy, and I assured him that was what I really wanted. As it turned out, Rob had been preparing for this and had saved most of the money necessary for the surgery. We scheduled it and I went under the knife.

Of course they invert the skin from the penis to make a vagina and use the skin from the testicles to make the labia. In spite of the drugs, I woke up really hurting down there. My new pussy was off limits for a while and that area was so sore, even my ass was out of commission. Rob was reduced to using my mouth until I could handle having him in my ass again.

I used a dilator, basically a dildo, to keep my pussy stretched out and ready for Rob's cock eventually. Frankly, the dilator hurt like hell at first, then the pain gradually eased. Even though my pussy wasn't usable yet, something changed in Rob. I became more his real lover and not just someone he used for sex. And I really felt like Rob's girl and wanted to be his girl.

It took a couple of months before the doctor said my pussy was ready. Rob took me to a nice dinner, rather than just me cooking or going to some sports bar. At the restaurant, he held my hand going in and held my chair for me as I sat. He kissed me before sitting down and holding my hand. I really was a girl on a date with a guy.

We had a nice dinner, then went to see a movie. Rob put up the armrest between our seats and put his arm around me. He held me close and I really felt like his girlfriend. He kissed me a few times and I found myself reveling in the attention. It was like a sea change in our relationship, and I was someone he seemed to truly care about.

We got back to our place and no sooner got in the door before he was kissing me. Not only did I kiss him back, I welcomed his kisses. I wanted him to kiss me and to make love to me -- now, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. I was his, not only in body, but in heart and spirit as well. We stood kissing for a long time before he moved me into the bedroom.