All Comments on 'Trish's Tush'

To0 general. I didn't like the transition from part to part. The time jumps are worse than Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap.

Great story, more chapters please.

Nice.

5 stars

Felt like most of the story was missing, the gaps in the timeline were glaring and made the story very difficult to follow.

Over use of italics made it hard to read.

I enjoyed the story even though it was a little disjointed and the italics were unnecessary. Also, it read like an abridged version of a longer story.

The daughter is a piece of crap, she steels her moms journal, doesn't share it with her father who would probably benefit from it to know how much his wife loved their time together, and she lies to him. What purpose does lying about anal serve? Shows what a self absorbed bitch she really is. Not to mention she is cheating on her husband and lying to her husband. Admittedly the father is no better in that respect.

Unlike other commenters, I actually quite liked the time skips. Most stories do not utilize that technique and it made the whole piece feel more unique to me. I am also glad your tags were descriptive, as I am personally really put off when elements of cheating and other such matters is sprung upon me without any warning beforehand. Clever title too - short, and straight to the point, without revealing too much. Well done, Mister Bobby!

Disjointed crap. Nothing was shown, and the descriptions of events were barely classroom worthy in their boring documentary stylings. I certainly won’t be reading else you’ve posted.

Very nice!

I got as far as about 3/4 of the first page, and just had to stop: it felt way too awkward to me. I refer to about the point she asked him to answer questions as if he were her mother. It felt like if somehow the purpose was going to be to get him to do something, she was going to have to seduce him very carefully, but not trick him. That's all I'm going to offer for this, and I'm not going to vote on this either.

You have a great imagination!

I really wanted to enjoy this but it felt too disconnected, as if I was reading an AI or someone unable to connect physical and emotional connections between the acts or perhaps a psychiatrist reporting a case study with the numbered list.

Perhaps try to imagine you're in the situation and write more freely. You can edit afterwards but I feel this will give your writing a more organic feel.

For me: wrong plot, wrong category.

Craig

Really fucked up. Daughter is so manipulative, makes me fuckin sick.