by ScottWood
I'd be way more into the story itself if it weren't for the blatantly racist undertones
I saw nothing wrong with how he wrote the fat, nasty, white guy. Good work!
What are you talking about?
This is so boring.
What kind of party is this?
Are we going to have sex with this fat man?
I can not understand, bitch.
This is more like!
Look at the size of that cock!
It is so thick
Let me suck too
Yes, you like that fat
I like to fuck this fat Dick
Would you like to fuck me now?
Yes, my ass!
If! If!
Yes, I'm going to run! Yes, I'm going to run! I'm going to run!
Yes, having sex with black man, as well.
What are you saying?
She want cock as well?
What happens with it? She needs cock!
I know something that you like.
or am I your maid, eh?
Is it time to clean?
At least according to Microsoft translator. Like the author said, Jacinta's Spanish might not be fluent,
I don't think it was racist. Who wouldn't be disgusted by a fat sweaty red guy black or white especially at that age lols. Anyway I thought this story was funny lols. It would've been better if Miranda was enjoying herself or atleast if she felt a weired sensation that she likes something like that. But good story I thought it was hilarious.
Bring on the next story that was hot! I can't wait for that black man to plow that white ass!
I enjoyed this as a story in it's own right, however.... Felt a bit rushed and it departed a bit from the innocence of the first chapter. Would like to see the next chapter have a slower gradual building up with a strong adherence to the naivete of the female characters. Either way, I enjoyed this chapter and you do have a way with words. Keep up the good work.
I gave ya 2 stars cuz this is Bernie's and Haley's story. You had me and then lost me with Rick and Miranda. Like you took a wrong turn and got lost. Your first story was great. This started out great and then Haley got lost. Boooooo!
I loved the first story but like the two guys before I think it was a bit rushed towards the end and you cannot have haley get passed around, she's a daddy's girl and should stay that way. Anyway keep up the good work cause I'm loving it.
write whatever story you want just don't stop with this one please.
The idea of an 18-year-old girl so naive and so trusting that she will go around the house almost naked (which I find much hotter than totally naked) and get him off whenever he wants and allow him to use her body is unbelievably hot to me. The first story and the first half of the second one are the most arousing things I've ever read on this site. That's not hyperbole, it's the truth.
I thought the encounters with the phone conversation and the slumber party and the Twister game were absolutely amazing and would love to see similar situations explored.
I thought the stuff with Miranda felt rushed and that I was missing steps in the story. I love teasing and slow buildups and would love to have seen a slower developing arc for Miranda's character in which she is manipulated more subtly as opposed to the somewhat brutal encounter that takes place.
I don't agree with a few other reviewers who say that Hayley is a daddy's girl and should be limited to him. I think the blind, absolute devotion she shows would facilitate almost any situation although I would hate to see this story digress into more generic BDSM, cumslut, and/or gangbang territory. The great asset you have here is Hayley's absolute naivete and devotion to her father, and I think having her morph into a generic cum dumpster would be a huge mistake.
I'm not saying that's your intention, and as I said.... well done. This is my favorite story on Literotica, and I spend probably way too much time here.
Thanks for the great work!
Was looking forward to the next chapter. Seems this writer has stopped. Too bad...
The above poster will soon have egg on their face, as the next chapter has been submitted and is awaiting approval.
This story was incredible, my cunt juiced four times! I love you!
Great story!!! If only there were more men, I'd love to see Hsle take on an international trouser snake convention! Seriously twisted but oh so hot and very very funny, nice work man!!!
All I can say is more Jacinta. Let her learn some English and at least have her seduce her host family.
I was thoroughly entertained with this. It was funny, but still got my panties wet. Bravo!
Jacinto, Miranda and Hayley on a Twister trip to the stars!!!! The games they played at that party makes my pet hard.
Don't like the sound of that Miranda thought. Too birchy.
Those girl are everywhere! At the bank, the pub, the butchers the airport, and even at the local pool.
Don't take it from them!!
All they need is Burnie! Can I get burnies number, you say??
Piece now, Gbag (funk)
Holy fuck I totally blew a load in this page. Thanks for the awesome work!
So, silly me, I read these in the order they were listed. Then I find out that this one (which is listed after part 5) is actually part 2. I still haven't read Trouser Snakes Forever (which is listed last) so not sure where that one is supposed to fit in. I'm guessing it is part 3 since Freda is still alive and none of the ones I've read ever really said how she died. It's VERY confusing!!!
One of the hottest stories on the site, I remember reading this elsewhere years ago, I think?
Actually, having to stop reading to switch over to translate, kept breaking me out of synch.
Other than that, excellent piece!
I enjoyed this series but with all these stories entitle "Trouser Snake" - could you Number them so we read them in the proper order? I am starting to feel a bit lost after reading this one - What is next and Where does "Trouser Snake FOREVER" fit in?
Ruined the fantasy that another guy was added in. And the Spanish was annoying having to look up.
Also made no sense that she couldn't speak any English if she went to school.