True North

"I TOLD you," Riot half snarled, pulling me even closer to his chest.

"The ambulance is here!" Colin called down the hall, his voice high and panicked. "Thank god, sweetheart! Can you come let them in? I'm still bleeding!"

Dad's face went grim as he stood up. "I'll get this straightened out, kiddo," dad promised, his voice grave as he left.

I turned and let Riot hold me to his chest. "Did you really break his nose?"

"He wouldn't move out of the way and he threatened to call the cops if I didn't leave," Riot growled. "All I cared about was getting to you."

"I feel gross."

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry that all happened. Here, can you sit up enough to let them look you over?" he asked gently as an EMT came in.

Riot got up and closed the door, cutting off a whining Colin down the hall as the EMT went to work.

A moment later, the second EMT came in, followed by dad, whose face was red with fury.

"I called him an UBER to the hospital," dad told me. "He's packing his things, but she already said his nose wasn't broken. Just bloodied. Did he really lock you in the closet when you were shutting down, True?" dad asked, sounding heartbroken.

"Not before he took my phone from me so I couldn't get help," I answered angrily.

Dad's face went flat livid, his nostrils flaring as he left the room.

The words he had for Colin could be heard through the entire house, even with the doors closed.

I turned back to Riot, closing my eyes from the light and trying to block out sound.

When dad came back in, Riot eased me to lay down and got up. "I want to show you something," Riot told dad tersely, going to the panel next to my door. Punching in a code, he swiped across the screen, then pressed an icon and circled his finger back in a counterclockwise circle. "Here," he spat, stepping back so dad could see

I couldn't see what was on the panel as dad leaned in close to look at it, but I could hear it. Hear Colin yelling at me and the whole ordeal with him taking my phone, starting from where he followed me into my bedroom.

When it ended, Riot spoke again. "There's more, he started all of his BS in the kitchen while she was cooking for him, then followed her in here to do all of this!"

Dad turned to me, his face pale as tears welled up. "I'm sorry, True! I'm so sorry! I'll never let anyone come between us again, I'll never..."

"Dad!" I called hoarsely. "I want you to date, to be happy. He just wasn't the one. It's over now, it's fine. I don't want to talk about him again, let's just forget he existed, ok?"

"We can do that," he agreed, still looking pissed. "Already done... I just have a few more choice words for him!" he told me, then left the room looking very grim. He could be heard very clearly down the hall. "You complete piece of SHIT! I saw EVERYTHING on the home security cameras! You aren't even welcome to wait in here or on my property! If you aren't gone in 3 seconds, I am pressing charges for abusing my little girl! Get OUT!"

The door slammed and Riot gave me a stressed look as he sat down next to me on my bed again. "Sorry, babe," he whispered softly. "He needed to see."

"It's ok," I answered, clutching his hand as he took hold of mine.

Dad came back in, his face still red as he came around to watch the EMT's.

"I didn't know what else to do," Riot told dad softly. "I couldn't get a hold of you and I wasn't sure the door would be open. I knew she was in trouble in that closet."

"You did the right thing," dad told him with a terse nod. "I'm sorry I assumed the worst and listened to him when I got home. All that blood... it seemed very damning, but I guess he just deserved it. Probably more. Thank you for reacting as quickly as you did when she called you. True? You know you can call me, right?" Dad asked softly, sounding hurt.

"Thought I was," I told him, still hoarse.

Riot jumped up and went and got me a bottle of water.

"I was texting you and when you texted back, I hit call... but I guess it was him texting me and not you. I thought I was calling you. I thought you were on the phone."

"Well, it all turned out, I suppose," dad told me, sitting down where Riot had been sitting and taking my hand.

Riot came back in and gave dad the water to give to me, then stood back with no visible irritation that dad had taken his spot. Instead he watched me and watched the EMT's worriedly.

Moments later, the man turned to dad. "She should be fine, sir, I see no reason to take her into the ER, but if you would prefer it, we..."

"No," I spoke up quickly. "Please, dad. I'm ok, it just upset me, is all," I promised. "They didn't even need to be called, it wasn't that bad. I'll be fine, I promise."

Dad gave the man a nod and he and the female EMT started packing up and filling out paperwork.

Dad saw them out and as soon as they were gone, Riot took his spot next to me again, clutching my hand and looking me over.

When dad came back in, he looked lost. "Sweetheart, what do you need, anything? Anything at all? I'll take the rest of the day off and we'll order in your favorites and watch..."

"Actually, her and I were going to go to Geneva, to the drive-in and watch that new scary movie," Riot spoke up quickly. "We've been planning it. I mean, if you still feel up to it? I think it would be a great distraction?" Riot asked hopefully, his hand holding mine a little too tight as he watched my face.

"A drive in? A real drive-in theater?" dad asked, but he looked even more stressed now.

"I promise I'll watch her closely and take perfect care of her!" Riot told dad. "We're going to stop and load up on movie junk food and pile pillows in the back of my truck so she'll be completely relaxed and comfortable. I even have my inflatable mattress ready to go so she'll be just as relaxed there as she would be watching a movie here at home! I... you're welcome to come with us if you want? I understand if you feel like you need to be there, sir."

"Dad hates scary movies," I smiled softly, taking dad's hand in my free hand. "It's alright," I promised dad. "I'm fine and I want to go. I think it will be good for me, the fresh air especially. Junk food, and fresh air, it's what we all need to heal, right?" I joked.

"And a few jump scares to get our hearts going," Riot grinned.

Dad gave me a worried smile before leaning in to kiss my head. "I trust you, kiddo," he whispered.

An hour later, Riot was helping me into his truck, my hair still wet from my shower. I had my own pillow and blanket, along with a hoodie for if it got too cold, but we had to go back to Riots house to load up everything else. He'd taken off to my house before loading all of it.

As soon as we pulled up, he hit the garage door opener and hopped out, then helped me out.

"It'll just take a minute," he promised me, still grinning. "I have about everything ready."

Hurrying into the garage, he picked up the box with the air mattress and pump and hauled it out to his truck. I looked around the garage as he hurried in the side door with a promise to be right back.

On a high shelf, I saw a box and in it, a motorcycle helmet. A smallish one, sized just like the one Angel had made for me. It was the same color blue and I saw some gold detailing on it, but I couldn't see all of it.

Moving around, I went up on tiptoe to try and see it, confused.

Riot came out, his arms loaded with pillows and blankets, but he stopped and looked at me in surprise as his eyes went to the box.

He blushed when I looked at him and looked down.

"What is that?" I demanded, feeling a little sick.

"It's stupid," he half laughed. "I thought... I don't even know what I was thinking..."

"Is that MY helmet? The one Angel had..."

"No! No! No no no! It's... it's the one I had made. I was about to get a bike, I thought for some stupid reason that it would... I don't know... make you like me more. Impress you. I had it all lined up, got you the helmet and... realized how idiotic that whole idea was. I don't know how to ride and I don't want to be anything like him, or to have you think about him when you're with me. It was all really stupid. It was custom done though, so I couldn't return it. I just put it up there and thought maybe at some point I would come across someone who might need it. You know?"

I looked at his face, then looked at the helmet again, my heart hurting as I thought about Angel. Thought about how quickly he discarded me and left me behind and how much it still hurt.

Turning away from Riot, I went back out to wait by the truck while he shoved everything in the back and covered it all with a tarp before tying it down. He watched me warily the whole time.

I made myself think of something else.

"Where are we stopping for junk food?" I asked lightly, half shrugging.

He grinned. "May have to make more than one stop! The grocery store and then a convenient store, they have different kinds of snacks, you know? I plan on getting just flat out '10 year old' sick with how many sour patch kids I intend to consume tonight!"

"Ugh, those make my tongue raw!" I laughed, letting him help me back into the truck.

He watched me as he drove across town, sitting on the other side of the long bench seat. I knew he wanted to say something, wanted to try and smooth over how hurt he knew I was, but he stayed quiet. He knew there was nothing he could really say without making it worse.

Instead he tried to distract me from it and grabbed a cart at the grocery store instead of a basket. He had me laughing outright as he filled it with pop, chips, candy and enough beef jerky to rebuild a small cow. He was just as bad at the convenient store, making a bowl with his t-shirt to hold things in. When he grabbed the bubble gum, I finally had to speak up.

"What can you possibly do with that much gum?!?" I demanded as he emptied the display box in his already full makeshift 'pocket'.

He grinned at me, his eyes shining. "Bubble blowing contest. I'm going to kick your ass!" he promised, taking his haul to the front to pay.

I was giggling as he tied the bags shut before putting them in back with the other stuff, so they wouldn't spill or blow out.

The drive to Geneva took longer than I imagined, but he turned up the music for us to sing to at the top of our lungs with the windows down. It was so incredibly fun and light hearted and liberating.

By the time we made it to the drive in, it was actually getting dark. There was enough light to air up the mattress and get everything set up as we laughed and fought for the best position to see the movie.

Riot opened chips and beef jerky right away, claiming it was his dinner, even as he opened a box of hostess cupcakes and ate two as he slammed a mountain dew.

I could only watch in wonder, disgust and a bit of admiration as he put away all the snack foods like he had two hollow legs.

"You really will puke if you keep going," I warned him as the trailers started.

He grinned at me around a mouthful of reeses, then shoved two entire swiss rolls in his mouth at the same time, just to mock me as he chewed them up with eyes shining in amusement.

"Puke over that side," I told him, shaking my head. "And do it quietly. I'm a sympathetic vomiter."

"Wan thum?" he asked with a still full mouth, offering me a fistfull of twizzlers before shoving a wad in his mouth.

Giggling, I took the offered twizzlers and laid back as the movie started.

He finally slowed down, chuckling as he leaned back too. It made me feel like he'd done the whole thing for my benefit, just to make me smile.

He did keep snacking through the movie though and halfway in, he opened his fourth pop.

"How do you not have to pee yet?" I demanded, sipping my water that wasn't even half gone yet.

"Are you asking because you're worried or because you want pointers, there, miss bladder the size of a walnut?"

"Shut up! I've only had to go once!"

"And you've drank, like, nothing at all!"

"I'm small," I shrugged. "All of me is small."

"Not all of you," he told me, his teasing tone gone suddenly as he blushed.

I glanced at him, then quickly looked at the movie screen, not wanting to know what he meant as he looked down at his hand picking at his blanket. His blanket that smelled like fabric softener, like he'd just washed it.

"Your heart," he offered finally, clearing his throat. "Your heart is huge. Sorry... This was supposed to just be fun, not me getting emotional."

I said nothing, looking up at the screen with a will. Even when I could see him looking at me, at my face expectantly.

He went quiet and pushed all the snacks back, leaning back to get comfortable to focus on the movie as well.

After a few minutes, he eased closer and put his arm around me, pulling me against him. I went tense, but he never looked away from the movie or said anything, just held me against him.

Part of me wanted to sit up, to pull away. I couldn't get complacent with him!

Another part of me just wanted to be held, even if it was by him. I wanted to feel wanted, loved.

Even if it was Riot after all he'd done.

I could have this moment, this human contact. I could pretend it was normal.

As long as he didn't press for more.

I kept waiting for it, stressing about it, but he just held me through the movie and nothing else. His thumb stroked gently and he rested his cheek on my head, but that was all.

It was actually just... nice.

Especially since it really was getting cold.

When the movie ended, he sat up enough to pull the extra blankets up around us, then offered me my hoodie and helped me put it on.

"Need anything?" he asked me softly as he scooted down to the tailgate.

I shook my head as I watched him with mixed emotions.

He hopped down and took off to the bathrooms. I took the moment to open my phone and read the texts from dad.

'Hey kiddo, let me know when you get there? And when you leave?' -dad

'Are you there yet?' -dad

'It's pretty late, I hope you just left your phone in the cab,' -dad

'True, I'm getting worried!' -dad

I quickly hit 'reply', horrified.

'Sorry! I'm fine!' -True

'Had the music up loud and my phone on silent all the way here and we watched the first movie,' -True

'It was good,' -True

'Double feature is about to start, I'll let you know when we leave,' -True

'Thank goodness! I was sick with worry! I even looked up the number to the drive in, but it's just an automated message about times and there's no phone anyone answers!' -dad

'Stay safe, kiddo, I love you,' -dad

'Love you too!' -True

'Sorry I worried you, I should have thought to check my phone before now,' -True

"Your dad?" Riot asked, getting back in the truck and reclaiming his seat. "Surprised he waited this long to text!" he grinned, piling blankets on us.

"He texted earlier, but I just now saw it and answered," I told him, letting him tuck the blankets in tight on the other side of me.

"Shit, hope he wasn't too worried. I probably should have reminded you."

'It's alright, True, you're a woman now and don't need to spend all your time reassuring your old man,' -dad

'I just worry, it's who I am,' -dad

'Enjoy the double feature and please let me know when you leave?' -dad

'I will, thanks dad. It is a long drive back, about two hours? So it will be really late when I get home. Still want me to wake you?' -True

'Kiddo, I probably won't sleep until you're home and safe in bed,' -dad

'But don't worry, I have plenty of work to keep me busy,' -dad

'Please don't read that as me trying to guilt you into coming home early,' -dad

'Stay and enjoy the movie and have fun,' -dad

I giggled and shook my head. 'I know, dad, it's fine. I'll text you when I leave and when I get home I'll come say goodnight,' -True

'Thank you! XOXO,' -dad

Turning my phone off, I tucked it away, still smiling softly.

Riot pulled me close again as the movie started, putting both arms around me this time as he scooted down so that his face was even with mine.

For a moment, I thought he was going to try and kiss me or something, but he just leaned the side of his head to mine and watched the movie, hugging me tight against him.

The movie was a slasher film and very gory. I kept going between giggling as Riot laughed and grimacing and turning away from all the guts and blood.

Riot started chuckling at me as much as he was the movie, especially when the jump scares actually made me jerk.

The movie was 3/4 finished and Riot kept turning to look at me, watching me like he was waiting for me to get grossed out or jump again.

Finally, he eased in close, his mouth half an inch from my temple as he moved his hand up. Tracing a finger slowly up my jaw, then down my neck, I realized he wasn't about to tell me something or try to scare me, he was focused on me alone and not the movie. His eyes watched his fingertips as he gently traced the curve of my cheek and jaw, then down my neck to where my hoodie started.

"You're so fucking perfect, True," he whispered after a few minutes of his soft, stroking circuits. "Every inch of you."

I swallowed hard and stared at the screen, not knowing what to say or do.

Leaning in closer, his lips touched my neck and he kissed a slow, soft trail all the way around to the other side as he half rolled over me.

Part of me was panicking. If I told him to stop, would he? Would it make him angry and he'd hurt me? Take me against my will?

His fingers slid into my hair as he pressed closer, kissing a trail up to my jaw on the opposite side.

Goosebumps ran up and down my arms and a shiver went up my back, but fear surged up right behind it.

"Riot!" I whispered urgently, tears welling up. "Please! Please stop!"

Riot yanked back almost violently, letting me go and sitting up as he looked at me in alarm.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that! I'm sorry, True! That was too fast, too soon! I was so caught up! It won't happen again!" he promised, moving over a few inches and tucking the blanket around me alone.

My heart stopped racing as I swallowed again, unable to look at him.

He stopped.

He didn't just stop, he apologized and moved away. Gave me space.

That was a step in the right direction, wasn't it?

I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be giving him any sort of hope at all...

I didn't like him that way and I never would.

So why was I?

Wasn't it better than being alone? Wasn't it better than not having anyone?

He could be a friend... I didn't have any friends here, I didn't have anyone but dad... and he was trying. He was trying to be better. To do better.

Did that excuse what he did?

No...

But I felt so incredibly alone and confused and my heart ached.

I couldn't have Angel... the man I loved.

I realized then that that's what this was all about. I couldn't have Angel. I couldn't love anyone else, not ever. My heart was gone. I wanted to fill the emptiness.

Hugging myself, I curled up.

"True?" Riot asked softly, stroking my arm carefully.

"I'm ok," I whispered, letting myself lean back and making myself look up at the screen.

"You sure? We can leave right now if you want? I'll take you straight home?"

"We can finish this, it's almost over," I told him, hoping he couldn't see the tears in my eyes.

"Ok," he agreed warily, then eased in close and put an arm around me. When I didn't object, he pulled me closer, wrapping me in both arms again as he hugged me to him and kissed the top of my head.

We finished the movie that way, him just hugging me to his chest and nuzzling the top of my head between kisses to my hair. I could almost feel the ache in him, the need for someone to love him, for any sort of affection.

I wasn't up for that, the best I could do was not push him away as he clutched me.