All Comments on 'Truth & Dirty Dares Ch. 01'

First off, welcome to Lit! It takes a lot of time and courage really to write and submit stories. I am a long time reader and hopefully going to be a first time author here soon. Read your story and would like to offer some constructive opinionated criticism.

I love the idea of this story. There are so many ways this can go and ways to tie in fantasy and real life into it. This is legit something that 80% or more of people reading here could/would do with their friends. Hell, any time we get together to play the card game Kings we border line get to this point.

Some ideas. Slow down! I feel like I was reading an outline here. The lack of punctuation throughout and excessive use of “and” & “and as” I got the feeling like you were just burning through a list of ideas before your time ran out.

Also, develop some of the characters a little more. We went from dinner to drinks with friends to essentially DP & oral and we only know names. Hardly know what they look like, what hey are wearing or what they like.

Again, I want to stress that I’m not here to shoot you down like you see some anons do just cause they can. I think there is a good story line here, just needs some massaging ;) Look forward to checking out chapter two.