Truth and Reconciliation Ch. 05

So, he had kept a stripped-down, utilitarian version for this very purpose.

With the files transferred, he quickly dug through the settings on the phone until he found the buried developer settings. Then, after tweaking a few options, he installed the app.

That done, he presented the phone back to his mother and showed her how to activate the app and choose an audio program.

"And then what?" his mother asked.

"Then you just play your favorite music and go to sleep. The app will play special tones along with your music that helps you to sleep better and feel more rested," he replied.

"And how did you find this app?" Janice asked, always suspicious of her only son.

"I didn't," Jason quickly responded. "Evie did."

"She told me you found it."

'Oh, shit.' Jason thought. "I mean, she told me she had heard of it and asked me to find it and figure out how to use it."

Seemingly ignoring his last remark, Jason's mother simply said, "Show me again how to use it." She attempted to hand the phone back to Jason.

However, he didn't take it and instead responded, "Here, I'll walk you through it. That way, you'll be more likely to remember it later."

It was a wholly harmless and accurate statement. Still, Janice reacted like he had just hurled the most hurtful insult imaginable at her.

"I'll be more likely to remember it," she raised her voice. "Just what is that supposed to mean? That I'm old and forgetful? That I'm not as smart as you? Huh, Jason? How DARE you talk to me that way!"

Jason tried to explain, "No, Mom, I just meant if you do it yourself... It's not an insult... I was just trying to..." He found himself unable to finish a coherent thought because he knew that she would twist it no matter what he said.

"I am so sick of your attitude," she continued ignoring his desperate attempts at explaining. "It's almost like you enjoy being punished."

As she said that, Janice looked around the room, obviously looking for some way to punish her son.

"You've left me no choice, Jason. I'm taking your computer."

"What!?" Jason was in shock. "No, Mom, you don't understand. I need..."

Janice glared at her son and raised an eyebrow. The threat contained therein was enough to silence Jason. He knew that if he let his emotions get the better of him, he would regret it.

"Right now, young man. Hand it over."

"Huh? The whole thing?" Jason asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm not stupid, Jason. I don't want the whole thing just that part," she pointed at the tower sitting on the floor. "Unplug everything and give me the modem."

Despite his outrage, there was still a part of Jason that desperately wanted to correct his mother. But, pointing out that it wasn't called a modem would not do him any favors.

Biting his tongue, Jason powered off his computer, then bending down, disconnected all the peripherals, picked up his PC, and attempted to hand it to his mother.

"Go put it in my bedroom. If you are well behaved, you can have it back in a week."

Jason nearly dropped the PC as she spoke. 'A week!?! I can't be without my computer for a week. Okay, gotta stay calm. If I lose it, it's only going to be worse.'

Keeping his absolute panic off of his face and out of his voice, Jason simply responded, "Yes, ma'am."

Taking his time on the stairs—Jason could NOT afford to drop and damage his computer—he carried the PC to the first floor, down the hall, and into his mother's room.

He set the machine down in the corner, out of the way, then stood and looked around.

Jason always hated being in this room and avoided it as much as possible. But, with his slate of household chores, he still spent at least a couple hours here every week. Vacuuming, dusting, hanging his mother's laundry, and cleaning her bathroom.

It wasn't the fact that it was the lair of his oppressor, though that was undoubtedly part of it. Rather it was the lies on display on every wall and flat surface. Photos, mostly. Images of happier times that belied the total disfunction that had consumed his family.

And, while there were pictures of his sisters from various stages of their lives up to and including the present, not a single photo or memento hinted at his existence beyond ten years ago.

It had always bothered Jason, but it was only now, in the light of the revelations shared by his younger sister, Evelin, that Jason began to comprehend the darker, sadder meaning behind his partial absence in this room.

It was as if when his father died, Jason simply stopped growing. After all, he was present here, just a younger version of himself. The image of his thirteen-year-old self smiled back at him from several framed pictures.

There he was in that old family photo. Mom had made everyone get dressed up, and they drove to a strip mall portrait studio. Oddly, to this day, Jason remembered not the photoshoot itself but the endless back and forth as his parents chose a "package" and the saleswomen tried to upsell them.

There he was again, hanging on the wall above a nightstand.

And on Janice's dresser stood his school photo. Jason wasn't exactly sure when that particular photo was taken, but he guessed it would have been somewhere around the eighth grade based on his haircut.

Stepping toward that framed photo, then glancing around the room, Jason realized something that had never occurred to him before. That particular image was one of the largest pictures in his mother's bedroom.

More than that, it was set apart. There were no other photos on the dresser, just his.

Odder still, surrounding the photo were several objects that Jason hadn't thought about in years—except as more junk to dust. They were keepsakes from his past.

A "gold" medallion commemorating his little league baseball team reaching—but not winning—the State finals.

A bracelet he had made at summer camp one year.

A souvenir shot glass that he had bought for his mother while on a school trip to Washington D.C.

The weird thing was that for years Jason hadn't even thought about these items. They were just more to clean, and he was usually desperate to complete his tasks and get out of his bitch of a mother's bedroom.

Standing here now, though, looking at the assortment before him, he realized something.

Janice had built a shrine to him on her dresser. Or, more accurately, she had made a shrine to his younger self.

Evie was right. Jason's mother had issues. And, at least one of those issues seemed to be the need to see her son as he was before her husband died.

Some strange way of holding on to the past? Jason didn't know.

"What are you doing?" the sound of Janice's voice started Jason out of his introspection.

"Uhh... I uhh... noticed that I missed a spot when dusting the other day. I was just making a mental note to be sure and take care of that tomorrow," Jason replied, doing his best to make up a reasonable excuse.

"Oh. Well, good," Janice responded. "Deal with it tomorrow; I want you out of my bedroom."

With that, Jason headed back upstairs to his own bedroom.

This development with his mother and his computer was definitely an issue. But, Jason figured that once Evie was home, she would loan him her laptop.

Heck, maybe if Evie told Janice that Jason needed his computer to help her study, he could get it back sooner.

Bored while waiting for his little sister, Jason tried to access his servers via his phone. Even with a top-of-the-line phone, the process would have been cumbersome and unproductive, at best. But, with his outdated piece of shit, he couldn't do anything.

He was stuck till Evie got home. So, with that in mind, he picked up a book and decided to read for a bit.

---

Thirty-six hours later and Jason still hadn't heard from Evelin. He'd called and texted her multiple times, but she had not responded.

Worried that something might have happened, he asked his mother after Evie. Acting as if it was the most annoying question in the world, she informed Jason that his sister was fine, had spent the weekend with a friend, and was expected home later in the day.

Why was she ignoring him? It had Jason worried. It was all he could think about as he went about his chores, and it had him sick to his stomach. Even grocery shopping—something that he enjoyed as it got him out of the house and allowed him to use his mom's car—couldn't improve his mood.

There really was only one answer. Evie's hypnotic conditioning had broken.

Just a couple days ago, she was practically obsessed with her big brother. And, while she wasn't necessarily at his beck and call, she never would have ignored him for two whole days.

That evening Jason sat in his room listening intently for the sounds of Evie's arrival home.

The minutes ticked by slowly as Jason waited in silence, being tortured by his own thoughts.

Without Evelin, all his plans were ruined. But that was the least of it. What if she told? He'd be on the street for sure and possibly in prison.

Without access to a computer, there was nothing he could do to cover his tracks. Maybe, just maybe, he could manage to get his computer back. Or, if necessary, he might be able to flee home before Evie, or his mom called the police. He'd head to campus and use one of the computer labs to access his accounts and delete anything incriminating.

Sure, a full forensic investigation would prove what he had done to Evie, but that was a long shot. The story that, "My brother brainwashed me into being his sex slave through an app on my phone," was somewhat fantastical.

Would law enforcement even believe such a story?

Even a thorough investigation wouldn't reveal anything, as long as Jason got a chance to access a computer. And the likelihood that a skilled cyber investigator would be assigned to the case was almost zero.

All that being said, Evie still might be able to prove that they had an incestuous relationship. Jason had no idea what the penalty for incest was or if it was even a crime among consenting adults. Then again, Evelin could claim that it wasn't consensual.

There would be no way to prove anything either way. But, when it came to rape, often just the accusation was enough to ruin someone's life for years, assuming he wasn't wrongfully convicted.

Jason considered that for a moment. "Wrongfully convicted." Would it be? Had he raped his little sister? No, he hadn't forced her—in the moment. But he had twisted her mind into believing it was something she wanted. Was that the same as rape?

The more Jason thought about it, the more the answer seemed obvious.

It was about the time that worry and despair started to turn to self-loathing that there was a quiet knock at the door.

'Oh shit! It's Evie. Just act cool. We'll get through this,' Jason coached himself as he got up to open the door. He was leary about repeating his mistake with his mother a couple days earlier, so he politely called out, "Coming."

When he opened the door, he was entirely taken by surprise. Rather than his plucky little sister, or his bitch of a mother, standing before him was his older sister Beth.

"May I come in," she asked. Beth carried a somewhat stern expression, but it was clear that she was nervous.

Jason had no idea what his older sister could possibly want. Indeed, their recent exchange in the hall had been one of their most protracted "conversations" in years.

"Uh, sure," Jason responded, clearly unsure what was going on. In fact, he was so confused that contrary to his words, he failed to actually move out of his sister's way.

Beth just looked at him and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Jason stammered. "Uh, here," he said, indicating his desk chair, "have a seat."

Beth glanced at the chair but hesitated. Then as if making up her mind, she sighed, moved to the chair, and sat.

Jason followed suit and sat on the edge of his bed.

"So, uh, what can I do for," Jason started, but Beth quickly interrupted him.

"Are you sleeping with Evelin?" Beth stared her brother straight in the eye.

Jason's heart rate shot up as his brain struggled to come up with some lie that would get him out of this.

He had been so careless. His bedroom literally shared a wall with Beth's. And while the first few times, he and Evie had been careful to be quiet, the truth was they had gotten lax over the weeks.

More than that, they had at times been downright loud. His little sister liked it rough, and he enjoyed giving it to her rough.

"Sleeping with? I mean, there's been a few times we stayed up late talking and just kinda drifted off, so I guess...," it sounded lame even to Jason.

"You know what I mean, Jason. Are You Fucking Our Sister?!?" Beth asked again, clearly accentuating each word.

It took Jason a moment to figure out what was so off-putting about his older sister at this moment. He realized that it was her demeanor. She was calm. Not angry, not accusing, just calm... but intense.

In fact, her gaze was so focused and intense that Jason had trouble meeting her eyes.

It was readily apparent that lying was not an option. This wasn't the type of question one just throws out there if they're unsure. Beth knew. How much she knew was yet to be seen, but without question, she knew.

"Yes," was all Jason said.

"How long?" was Beth's pointed reply.

"A couple weeks," Jason answered, but Beth just looked at him dubiously, so he amended his statement... "We 'went all the way' a couple weeks ago, but we've been fooling around for about a month."

Beth sighed, "That's what I figured."

Unsure of what to say and terrified of where this might be going, Jason sat staring at the floor as his older sister regarded him in silence for nearly two whole minutes.

"You really shit the bed here, little brother," Beth eventually said, still seeming to peer deep into Jason's soul.

It was the tone of her voice, the simple "matter of factness" about it that caused Jason to look up. How was Beth so calm? How was she not freaking out? He returned her gaze, his face painted with confusion.

That must have been what set her off.

"So, Mom's got you trapped here at home, and you just decided to seduce your little sister? Was that it?" Beth's voice was starting to gain some emotion.

"Wha... No...," Jason tried before he was cut off.

"What the actual fuck, Jason. She's your sister! You get that, right? You get that she's your flesh and blood? That's fucked up. It's illegal, and it's fucked up! You know that, right?" Beth was angry now, and her voice reflected it. Jason didn't know if his mother was home, but if she was, she'd be storming up the stairs any moment now.

Jason just stared at his sister with absolute terror in his eyes.

"I asked you a fucking question!" Beth demanded.

"No, I mean, yes, I don't know!" Jason's tone matched his sister's. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it. It all just kind of happened."

"Clearly!" Beth was standing now. "Clearly, you didn't think about it. Is that all Evelin is to you, Jason? She's just an afterthought? Just a naive high school girl to use for your pleasure?"

"What, no. I...," Jason was flummoxed, unsure. Beth sensed his weakness and pounced.

"You what? Huh, Jason? You what? You didn't mean to manipulate your own sister into bed with you? You didn't intend to take her virginity? Cause you know what, you little shit? I think you did!

"I think you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew all the crazy bullshit that Mom had pumped into her head over the past ten years. You knew that she had a bit of a 'reputation.'

"And you figured... Didn't you, Jason? You figured that you could take advantage of her to get your dick wet.

"And what? Huh? Just walk away from her, from this family, the moment you can save up some money?

"What was the plan, boy genius? Fuck her mind while you fuck her cunt and leave the remnants for me to deal with?"

Beth was standing over Jason now, shouting down at him while he stared up at her, unable to speak during her barrage.

As she slowed, Jason realized she was expecting an answer.

"No, I'm not using her," Jason finally responded defensively.

"Really? You expect me to believe that? Cause I don't. And, let me guess, you're not planning on turning your back on her the second you can be free of us.

"Jason, I've heard you through the wall. I've heard the vile things you say to her. I've heard, more than enough, to imagine the sort of vile things you're doing to her. And you expect me to believe, for one second, that you're not just using her?"

"What? No. It's not like that. We get a little... I mean, she likes it when I... Look, it's complicated," Jason tried to respond.

"Oh, I disagree. There's nothing complicated about it. You're a predator who has manipulated your little sister into an incestuous sexual relationship. You're a monster, Jason. A monster who is using Evie for his own sick gratification." When she finished, the anger had left her voice. In its place were disappointment and disgust.

"No, please, Beth, wait. It's not like that," Jason pleaded with his older sister, and even as the words left his mouth, a realization came over him. Regardless of anything else, Jason needed Beth to know that she was wrong.

"Then what is it like, Jason?"

"Look, you're right. I did manipulate Evie. But I just wanted some more help with chores."

"Honestly," Jason quickly added to avoid her inevitable rejoinder.

"I was expecting her to offer to help with laundry or to run the vacuum or something. Instead, she offered me...something else.

"And yes, it felt weird and wrong, but it also felt amazing. I'm a twenty-three-year-old man who has never known the touch of a woman because I'm locked up in this house playing Cinderella to you people."

At his accusation, Beth's angry glare faltered for a brief moment. Jason saw the shift and considered pressing the point, but something inside told him that was a losing strategy.

"I was weak, and I allowed it to continue. And, even after she told me about all the fucked up things Mom conditioned her with, I still allowed it... No, I encouraged it.

"But, I didn't encourage it because I wanted more handjobs from my sister. I did it because, after the handjobs, we'd talk... for hours.

"I've spent more time talking with Evie in the past few weeks than I have for the previous ten years combined.

"And you know what? I learned that I really like spending time with her. She's smart and fun and funny. She's kind and caring and selfless. She's a better person than I'll ever be and I both envy and respect her immensely."

It was strange. Jason wasn't thinking about his words. They were just spilling out of him. It was like he'd been wanting to share this with someone but hadn't had a chance. Now that the opportunity presented itself, he just couldn't hold back.

As he spoke, the part of his mind watching all this unfold sensed that this speech was leading somewhere. The conclusion seemed inevitable; it was both terrifying and exhilarating.

"Over the hours of conversation, I came to realize that I didn't see Evie as my sister. I saw her as a woman. I don't know why, maybe because we've been effectively living separate lives for the past ten years. Regardless, whatever barrier exists that keeps siblings from... that keeps siblings apart, well, it's not there for us.

"So yeah, this all started with me manipulating Evie to help me around the house. And yes, I'm a monster for allowing it to go as far as it did.

"But, something changed in me, before we ever had sex. Beth, I love Evelin. I'm IN love with Evelin. Alright?

"So, do what you need to do, and tell who you need to tell. But I want you to understand. I love her, and I'm never going to leave her.

"And Beth, for what it's worth, even if I leave this house, I'll never turn my back on this family. I promised Evie that I'd bring this family back together, and I will... somehow."