Truth and Reconciliation Ch. 05

Even as he had said it, Jason questioned his words. But, as he sat with them for a moment, he realized they were true. He had fallen in love with Evie.

It wasn't such a big stretch. He had already loved her. She was his sister, after all. So it wasn't something completely new. Rather, that love he'd already possessed had simply evolved. It grew into something more profound, and it had happened with such subtlety that he hadn't even noticed until this moment.

"Good enough?" Beth asked, looking back over her shoulder.

"Good enough...?" Jason responded. "It's the tru..." he was cut off as a voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yeah. Thanks, Beth." Evie opened Jason's bedroom door and stepped in. Jason looked at her, totally confused, her face a somber mask.

"Would you mind letting us talk," she continued speaking to her older sister.

"Sure thing," Beth replied, turned, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Used to being in charge with his younger sister, Evelin, Jason was the first to speak. "Evie, what the hell is going on? Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for days. And what was all this with Beth? She knows about us? Did you tell her? I am so freaking confused right now!"

Evie met the eyes of her big brother, a look of absolute incredulity written across her face. "You're confused? Really? YOU'RE confused?" her voice was rising, and Jason realized he was about to get yelled at... again.

"Imagine, big brother, how confused I was when I heard your voice coming through my phone telling me what to think and how to feel.

"Imagine my confusion when suddenly I'm made to doubt the happiest time of my life and everything I've been feeling for the past month.

"Because Jason, that was pretty fucking confusing," Evie was angry, no question, but her words carried just as much sadness.

"Evie, let me explain," Jason tried, but his sister shut him down.

"Jason, I'm still working through this, and right now, I need to talk. You're going to listen, and I'm going to talk. Don't interrupt; just listen."

Jason nodded.

"A couple days ago, I started on my marketing campaign for the app. I needed a little help, so I went over to my friend Britney's place.

"It was pretty late by the time we were done, and we just decided I should stay over. No big deal.

"The thing was I was super excited—and a little worried—about things going well with the app. You're whole plan, you're ability to move out, it all hinged on that app, and I wanted it to go well.

"With all that weighing on me, I just couldn't sleep.

"Lying there, I realized, 'Hey, why not use the app to help me fall asleep.' So I fired it up and tried to get comfortable.

"The thing was, between being so worked up and being in a somewhat unfamiliar place, the app wasn't helping.

"Even so, I just kept lying there listening to music."

Jason realized where this was going, and his stomach dropped. Everything suddenly made sense. Well, Evie, her recent silence and her current emotional state made sense. How Beth got involved was still a mystery.

He had never planned for this. The whole point of the app was to get the subject to fall asleep first. That's why he captured audio and video from the user's phone. He needed to be sure that they were asleep before starting the hypnotic suggestions.

With Evie, he got lazy. She had been so conditioned to the app (she'd been listening for weeks now) that he assumed it would put her under quick.

And, he was probably correct for just about any other day. But there was just too much going on. She was worried and restless. She'd probably had some caffeine, and there may have even been some adrenaline flowing through her veins.

All the conditioning in the world wasn't going to put her to sleep. And Jason had never considered that she might try to use the app in such a state.

"So, again," she continued, unaware of the rush of realization taking place in her brother's mind, "Imagine my surprise when I hear your voice beginning to talk to me through the app.

"What was it you said? 'Repeat after me... Jason deserves my love... Jason is my man... I reward Jason with my body...'

"My god, Jason... Did you try to brainwash me?" She was staring at her brother, her face a mostly indecipherable jumble of emotions.

Interestingly there was something behind all of it. Fear. For everything that Evelin was feeling, underlying everything else was fear. But of what? Jason didn't know.

It was that fear he saw which, oddly, gave Jason a glimmer of hope. Well, the fear and one other thing.

The fear because Evie wasn't afraid of Jason. If someone had twisted your will and forced you to do things you would never do, you would likely be afraid of that person. Angry, sure, but also afraid. But the fear in Evelin's eyes wasn't a fear of Jason.

If Evie wasn't afraid of Jason, then she was afraid of something else. She was afraid of what this conversation might reveal or how it might conclude. Jason realized that if Evie was afraid this conversation may go badly, then at least part of her must be hopeful that it would go well.

Interesting.

The other thing that gave Jason hope was Evie's word choice. She had said, "Did you try to brainwash me?" She used the word "try."

She wasn't accusing her brother of brainwashing her. She was accusing him of trying to brainwash her.

It was a bit odd with everything going on, but thinking about Evie's word choice sparked a memory in Jason. Weeks ago, while researching hypnosis, Jason had learned something fascinating about hypnosis subjects.

Usually, even in subjects who experience profound change due to hypnosis, the subject is highly reluctant to give credit for the change to hypnosis.

The reason is rather simple. When using hypnosis, the "change" one experiences comes from within. It bubbles up—for lack of a better phrase—from the subconscious to the conscious mind. So, the change never feels like change. It just feels natural.

As a point of contrast, consider, for a moment, the marathon-running vegan who a few years ago was a 350lb obese couch potato. They had a heart attack, and that episode, the pain, the fear, the sense of fragile mortality weighed so heavily on them that they changed completely.

That's how people expect change to happen. They expect it to come externally. They expect it to take willpower and perseverance. And usually, they expect it to be a long, miserable process.

Hypnosis works in a very different way. You never struggle. The change just comes from within. You simply feel different and effortlessly make different choices.

Because of that, many hypnotherapy subjects never give credit to the hypnosis. They just feel like they "got over it" or "decided to make a change."

That's precisely what was happening here. Evie thought Jason tried to brainwash her because, to her experience, it hadn't worked. From her point of view, all the things she'd been feeling and doing of late were choices she had made of her own free will.

As soon as Jason recognized what was happening, he knew he could probably salvage this situation.

"Well?" Evie prompted her brother.

It had only been a few seconds, but Jason didn't want Evelin to think he was stalling.

"Yes," he finally said with a sigh.

"Yes, I tried to brainwash you," Jason said, resigned. "But it's not what you think, I swear," he quickly added.

Evelin sat down in Jason's desk chair, swiveled to face him, and said, "You're going to tell me everything, and I don't care if it takes all night."

Jason looked at the floor as he tried to gather his thoughts. As quick as he could, he went through the timeline of events. As he did, it became apparent that he had NOT brainwashed his little sister in all actuality. Not really.

In fact, he had never intended for things to turn out the way they had. He had undoubtedly helped things along, but it truly was Evelin who made the first sexual advances. Such a relationship with his sister had, prior to her first handjob, never even occurred to him.

Oddly, for as crazy and messed up as the past few weeks had been, the truth was not particularly damning. All Jason had to do was slightly alter a couple points along the timeline. By doing so, he would go from being an evil, perverted mastermind to a hapless bystander who had gotten swept up in forces bigger than he was.

"Jason, please start talking. Because if you wait any longer, or if I even think you're lying to me, I'm walking out. And Jason," Evie was almost pleading now, "if I leave this room angry, I swear to you we will never speak again."

"Evie, wait. I'm sorry. Please... there's a lot to say, and I was trying to figure out where to start," Jason tried to placate his sister.

"I said I don't care if it takes all night. Start at the beginning. Now." She was clearly losing patience.

So Jason did as she asked and started at the beginning.

He told her, again—as he'd already relayed the story weeks ago—about his tuition not being paid. This time, though, he told her about the old man on the bus. About his words that "life can be a bitch" and that you've got to "make that bitch yours."

Jason talked about his determination to get some sort of revenge on his mother. He told Evie had he'd spent about a week scouring every inch of his mother's online and offline life trying to find some "dirt" to blackmail her with.

He told Evie about getting the contract with HAS to make, for all intents and purposes, a hypnosis app.

He described how, while researching hypnosis, he realized that it could be the tool to get his revenge. But he wasn't sure. He needed some way to test the app and the abilities of hypnosis.

With shame on his face and in his voice, he explained how he had decided to use her, Evie, as his test subject. But, before she could get too upset, he pulled out his phone and opened the original script he had used on her. (His phone was a piece of shit, but even it could open a text file stored in the cloud.)

He handed her the phone and asked her to read the script. There was nothing sexual at all. It was just about how hard Jason worked and how he deserved kindness, love, and to be rewarded for all that hard work.

Reading the script seemed to visibly calm Evie, so Jason continued.

He told his sister that he was completely unprepared when she came into his room that very first time. He never would have, in a million years, thought something like that would happen.

"Do you remember how confused I was?" he prompted her.

Evie's eyes shifted up as she probed her memories. There was no denying who was in control during that first encounter. It had been her idea, and seeing the script, it was clear to her that, at the time, she was, in fact, feeling the things his script indicated. Still, it was HER decision to reward him sexually.

"I never anticipated where things would go, and I never desired, at least not consciously, to have a sexual relationship with you. I just wanted to be treated with kindness. I just wanted to be rewarded for all my hard work. I was just so sick of always being punished for nothing.

"Trying to manipulate you was wrong. The truth is," Jason sighed, "I just saw you as a test subject. After all the years of... servitude... I didn't think of you as my sister. Maybe I didn't even think of you as a person. I'm sorry."

Evelin had clearly softened. Her face, the tension she had been carrying, it all relaxed. Even her voice lost its edge when she spoke again.

"Did it work? When I came into your room that night... was it because of the recordings? Was that me, or was that your app?" her voice had taken on a sense of desperation, and Jason realized that she was scared of what the answer might be.

"It was you," Jason said reassuringly. "The app nudged you; I won't deny it. But, everything I've come to learn about hypnosis says that you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. You can, however, reinforce existing thoughts and feelings or maybe bring buried ones to the surface.

"Everything that you felt and everything you did was already part of you. The app just helped you to act on it," Jason paused, waiting for more questions.

"And what about the suggestions I heard? About using my body to reward you? About you being my man?" a hint of suspicion had entered back into her voice.

"Those are your own words," Jason replied. The look of confusion on his sister's face prompted him to continue.

"That night you came to me the day (or was it two days) after your last date. We talked, and those were the words you used.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I may have paraphrased a little, but you said something very similar.

"Everything you said to me was... it was exhilarating. I had never felt so much hope for the future," as he said it, Jason realized he was speaking the truth about how he had felt.

"I was terrified that you would change your mind. That you would come into my room and tell me you'd thought it over and realized you didn't actually feel that way.

"For the first time in a decade, I had a real connection with someone in my family, and I was absolutely terrified that I would lose it.

"So, I made that recording. I used your own words in an effort to reinforce those feelings in the hopes that they would become permanent. I'm sorry," Jason again hung his head. Partly because under the gaze of his sister, he did feel some shame for what he had done, but mostly so that she wouldn't see the lie in his eyes.

She had used those words with him. But, she was parroting the recording, not the other way around.

This was Jason's big gamble. Everything else he'd said had been true. But by saying he made the recording AFTER her confession (to reinforce it) rather than making it BEFORE (to create it), he was changing the entire narrative.

Jason did believe that hypnosis really couldn't make you do anything you didn't already want to do. His recordings truly had only nudged his sister.

That much was true.

But, it was also true that without the recordings, none of this ever would have happened. Whatever guilt Evelin had felt, whatever latent "big brother crush" she had buried inside, she never would have acted on them. He wasn't blameless.

"Jason, I wish you would have trusted me. When I said those words, they were real. I meant them. I didn't need them to be reinforced," Evie was on the verge of tears.

'Holy shit! She bought it!' Jason thought to himself. 'Okay, take it slow. Let her set the emotional tone. Let her lead.'

Jason couldn't cry on command. As a tactic to manipulate his mother, it hadn't worked, so he never developed it as a skill.

He was pretty good at controlling his facial features, though, so he put on an affectation that matched his sister's stricken visage.

"Jason, the last couple of days have been hard. I've missed you so much, and as angry and confused as I've been, I was afraid that our relationship was over," Evie began. Her voice was mostly steady, even though tears ran down her cheeks.

Standing, she walked to her brother and embraced him.

Holding him tight, she spoke, "These past couple of days have been so emotional. I'm still processing everything. I'm not mad at you, but other than that, I really don't know what I feel."

Evie stepped back before continuing, "I need a little time to get this all sorted out in my head. We'll talk later... tomorrow. We'll talk tomorrow after school."

She turned to leave before adding, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Jason replied. "Of course. We'll talk tomorrow."

Evie reached for the doorknob but stopped and turned back around. "After hearing your voice on my phone, I kinda assumed what was going on. I spent a LOT of time the next day researching hypnosis, and I want you to know I believe what you told me today. Thank you for being honest with me."

Jason just nodded in reply.

"I'm in a weird place, and I need to get my head around everything. But Jason, I still love you. You are my man. I stand by my promises to you.

"Here," she pulled out her phone and began sliding and tapping. "I'm sending you a couple files. I think this might be helpful."

With that, Jason's little sister was gone, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

This was a setback, but Jason was pretty sure they'd recover from this in a few days.

He was still a little worried about his older sister, Beth. He'd need to figure out what she knew and if she was going to get in the way.

His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out. Sure enough, Evie had sent him two files. Beth1.txt and Mom1.txt.

Opening Mom1.txt, Jason's jaw hit the floor as he read:

Mom Part One

Jason is my boy.

A boy grows up to be a man.

Jason has grown up.

Jason is my little-man.

A little-man grows up to be a man.

Jason has grown up.

A family needs a man.

Jason is part of my family.

A family needs a man.

A man to take care of the family.

A man of the house.

Jason is the man of the house.

Men have needs.

Men's needs must be satisfied.

Jason is a man.

Unsatisfied men leave.

Jason must stay.

This was remarkable. Apparently, despite what she'd been struggling with over the past few days, Evie took the time to read up on hypnosis and put together a script for their mother.

Obviously, she'd used his recording for her as a template, and it looked good.

In fact, the more Jason thought about it, the more he realized that this was perfect.

He'd already come to the conclusion that his mother still saw him as a child. If they were going to play on her fears of losing the man in her life, they first had to establish that Jason was a man.

And that little "men have needs" line was brilliant. It was ambiguous enough not to be too heavy-handed. But, based on what Evie had told him about their mother, it would also grease the wheels for what was to come later.

Evelin was remarkable. She was proving to be a perfect partner. The thought of it filled Jason with real hope for the future.

He considered texting her to say, "thanks," but she had asked for space. He decided to just let her be for now.

----

Later that night, Jason was coaxed from sleep by the sound of someone entering his room.

Barely awake and without the usual lights from his computer, he struggled to figure out what was happening until the visitor climbed into bed with him.

Sleep addled and operating primarily on instinct, Jason made room for the soft intruder, who also happened to smell great.

By this point, memory jogged by her sent, Jason realized it was Evelin.

"Evie, you okay?" he whispered.

"Just hold me," she responded as she snuggled up with him.

To his surprise, he found myself nearly overcome with joy. These past couple of days of uncertainty had stressed him more than he realized. And lying here with Evelin in his arms, everything seemed right.

He pulled her into him just a little tighter, kissed the top of her head, and, feeling a great sense of relief, quickly fell back to sleep.