All Comments on 'Truth or Dare'

Delightful, erotic, well-written. More adults should play "childhood" games.

i liked the female perspective of this story and the feeling is one of a romance starting good job. "jakk"

I love game stories but this is too short. Game went to fast considering the charactors I thought.

All these game stories do bring back a sexy memory I am sure for all of us

Jackie

Great new story, great new writer. Very sexy

Very hot and playful. I enjoyed it. Keep writing!

Cheers,

Lalenya :^)

I enjoyed the first few paragraphs once things got going, but honestly, it got dull.

I just don't really enjoy this style of writing, the extremely repetitious 'You do this, I do that', doesn't do it for me. I thought the concept of 'truth or dare' to be very clever, playful and daring, but not necessarily as well explored as it could have been.

Also, this could have been written with a lot more detail, her masturbating in front of him was four sentences, four very short sentences.

With that said, I very much appreciated your grasp of spelling and punctuation, it's very rare I found a story with so few errors.

Consider exploring actual dialogue between your two characters, rather than telling us what you ask and what he replies, do it as the characters, and tell us a little bit more about them, and the emotions involved.

Don't get mad at me, it's only /my/ opinion, not everyone's. :)

OK, what I like about your stories:

You write very well and clearly.

Your characters are ordinary and believable, and when they have sex they do it in interesting ways.

Your characters are almost all likeable - they treat each other considerately.

What I personally have difficult with:

I don't like the 'I'/'you' theme. These may be your fantasies or experiences you're revealing, so a first person narrator is fine; but the reader is not the person you're fantasising about, the reader is just an onlooker. I'd like you to give the 'you' character a name and something more of an identity.

I also think you could fruitfully extend these pieces. We don't know very much about your characters; the narrative is framed very closely around the moment of sexuality, without telling us much about what - psychologically - brought your characters there.

Really believable, got inside my

head fast and got my juices flowing.

Keep up the great writing. So many

stories, so little time.