by pagrl
I loved the intensity, good luck with writing more stories - you have a nice style! rmaitland
Liked the story very much...erotic and fun. One flaw though...Terrance had brown eyes at the start and green eyes later on. Otherwise great first attempt.
Great work! I am so glad you asked for my feedback. The story and people are believable. Can't wait to see what you do next...
It's nice to see it up here. I can't wait to see more of your work. /ed. Rickyboxen
Congrats on your first story. It was funny and sexy. Keep writing and don't let a-hole comments like Don's hold you back. He's still mad that he had to move to the back of the bus. :)
Besides, I don't see him writing anything.
Good reading. It was very funny and a good reason to never simply assume anything. Maybe the nigger security guard knocked her up as well?
That was a great story, especially for a first submission. I look forward to reading more of your work.