Turning Heaven into Hell

* * * *

Once we were home, Shannon couldn't wait to have us take our clothes off.

"I'm sorry, Brooke, but I have to have heaven while I can," she said in a much too serious tone.

With that said, her lips were on mine, hungry and desperate. I had to wonder just how bad those church feelings were in her, and if they could threaten our love long term, but for now, all I knew, or wanted to know, was more of her love. She wanted to have us love each other together, and that was fine with me—more than fine, really.

Finally taking a break, we scrounged up some supper, sans clothing, of course, which meant that we'd be back in bed by mutual, and unspoken agreement. Sex, I found, was most addictive when you really enjoyed it, and more so if there was a huge dose of love involved, and Shannon and I had a really huge dose of love for each other. Still, that desperation I kept hearing in her voice had me worried.

In school, we had discussed our classes, and we both felt good that we had a healthy grasp of all of them, and our work in them was up to date, and in most, ahead of where we were supposed to be. Shannon had a perfect GPA, and I was right behind her at a nearly perfect GPA. What that meant for us was that we could really enjoy our sex even though it might seen to be excessive. Our love could be said to be excessive, but not by us.

We had one more day of school, then the weekend. When I thought of the weekend, I felt myself anxious for it to come. For sure, if we didn't have to go anywhere, we'd be naked the whole weekend, and sex would be the only thing on our menu. What that meant for me particularly was that I'd be able to ogle her body to my hearts content, and my heart kept on needing to have that contentedness. I couldn't get enough of looking at her front and back, she was so perfect.

However, for the evening, we resumed our love without end.

* * * *

The last school day of the week went as we expected. We'd gotten past any prying eyes, our faking of being as we had always been, a success so far. Though she still seemed too apprehensive of I-don't-know-what, our love continued to seemingly expand unabated, and that meant our being at each other constantly—our love-fest more like a two person love-orgy.

We were lucky on Saturday, not finding any reason to put on clothes, but she expressed a minor misgiving.

"I wish my breasts were more like yours, a little larger for you," she said in sincere embarrassment.

"Oh, god, don't wish that, you're perfect, and I love looking at you, and the feel of your body. I swell with my love of you when I look at how sexy looking you are, how seeing you always makes me want to be touching you, or to have sex with you. I've always loved everything about you. You have to know that."

Her eyes misted, and blended with the look of love she had for me.

"Really?" she asked softly.

Overcome with her worries that needn't have been, I rushed to take one, and kissed and suckled on it for a long time, then lovingly treated the other one the same.

"Shannon, you have to know how I love you—all of you, and everywhere, but we're always making serious love that I don't love the rest of you as I should."

"Yeah, that's true of me too. You make me so hot for you that I don't either, so I guess we just have to chalk it up to having to love each other all the time, huh?"

"All the time is right," I agreed, glad to hear her tone of voice back as I loved it to be.

We did force ourselves to mildly curtail our love making for we had to go to her church in the morning. I could tell that she wasn't looking forward to that, but then again, neither was I. Still, we had to do it. But once again, there was that worrisome mein of hers. I gladly held her all night, and kissed her often, at the last turning her so I could spoon her, and kiss her neck and caress her beautiful hair at the same time. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, but yet I continued my ministration of her. Not that it was a chore because it wasn't; if it could be called a labor, it was a labor of pure love.

Chapter 6

Dressed, which we hated, her particularly, we made it in time for Sunday School. As before, I was treated politely, and even warmly. As the lesson progressed, and the others participated, even Shannon a bit, I remained silent, just looking and acting interested.

After that was over, we went to the church proper, found her parents, who smiled at us both, and we smiled back. That angry looking song leader had us cringing inwardly as soon as he made his appearance, he was so stiff, so like a prophet bringing the word of doom to come instead of any joy in song.

But when their preacher started in on us, it grew worse exponentially. Honestly, I tuned him out, in self-defense I told myself, but then something he said startled me, and suddenly I was all ears, catching him in mid-sentence, or so.

"We are all sinners, brothers and sisters. We have this plague of homosexuality in our midst, and what do we do? Nothing!" he exploded. "We don't raise our voices against them, we don't raise our concern over God's coming wrath to our elected officials, we simply sit there like stumps that have no life, no mouth.

"Are we so much a part of this world to not even be noticing the abomination that they mock our God with?" his voice thundered.

And, I felt, he was only getting started. Soon, I thought, he would work himself up to fever pitch, but I was wrong. Just as he seemed to be heading to even greater stridency, like a chimera, he changed.

He became so emotional, his face as if in a pain that was unbearable, what had been a thundering voice became as a thundering whisper that seemed to envelope the very air we breathed to near suffocating.

"Our heavenly Father who so loved us that he gave his son to bring us to the joy that salvation would bring us—eternal peace and heavenly bliss—allowed him, our savior, to suffer excruciating pain and die for our sins, sins that kept us from him, and the joy of his presence for eternity, never to know anything but his presence and that of our savior, Jesus the Christ.

"How," he began to ask with such depth of emotion that consumed us all, "could we allow this abomination, this slap in the face at His offer of love and joy? How could we permit such an abomination? We have let them come out like cockroaches from the woodwork of sin. Now they openly hold hands, even kiss before our children; soon they'll be in our public places, our parks, and fornicating and laughing in God's face.

"How could we let that happen, and not even say a word, not a whisper of protest? How?" he paused, looking weary, imploring, his stare mesmerizing.

I had to shut him out, but I couldn't shut Shannon out. Sensing that she was becoming more and more agitated, I knew her nerves must be about to scream in her. Worse, there was no way I could comfort her. Holding or hugging her was out of the question—I didn't even dare to touch her hand. I never felt so helpless, impotent.

I wondered how long, how many years, she had had to listen to this man's tirades. Was he always like this, I wondered? It began to dawn on me—the realization of why she had seemed so desperate to make love again so often, yet I didn't know the whole of it, at least not yet. Somehow I knew I would, and soon.

* * * *

When it was finally over, we escaped almost unnoticed, or if any noticed us, it wasn't made known to us. Saying a hasty goodbye to her parents, with the excuse that we had to prepare for school tomorrow, we left. On the way, she was silent, yet I sensed the nervous vibrations from her. Going into the house, she began to tremble, then looked at me wild-eyed, then she was in my arms sobbing.

I led her to the bedroom, and as she stood docilely, I took her clothes off, then my own and joined her on the bed, and held her as she wept on my breast. After while, she spoke.

"I've only just realized heaven here on earth with you," she intoned softly, then kissing my breast. "I can't give you up. if hell is my reward for loving you, then so be it, but for now, you are my heaven, my sweet love."

My heart filled with unspeakable love, and sweet burden that was heavy in me with its sweet odor that signaled pain to be suffered in payment, a pain that I was glad to bear for my love of Shannon kept calling to my whole being.

I began to wonder at people like the preacher. Was he missing something. Did he have any idea of how wondrous it could be to love as I loved Shannon, as she loved me? My mind struggled to make sense of it all. How could a loving God sense the sweet odor of our heart, our love, and say that we are an abomination, our love so distasteful to him? As I wondered, strange heretofore unknown thoughts wended their way through my mind. Then a thought, unbidden by me consciously, came to me. Why were they so bent on keeping us from our love that seemed so good and pure? Were they hiding something that they were afraid of us knowing?

Hiding something! What?

Hiding love within! Pure love! Sweet love in every way; love that cared only for the loved one and the goodness that ensued, maybe forever. Yes! Our love, I was certain, was forever.

"Hiding love within," I spoke the words aloud without realizing that I had. I felt Shannon raise her head.

"What did you say? Hiding love within?"

Taken with the thought, I spoke again as if the thought was just continuing in my mind.

"Are they afraid, for whatever reason, of the love that is possible between two people that they try to hide what we sense within us? Try to hide the love that we naturally have? Is that possible? Are they so afraid of love, and the unknown wonders of it that they cringe instead in their fear of it? Is that why they're turning heaven into hell? Your love is so sweet, so wondrous and pure that I can't imagine anyone thinking or feeling that it is an abomination. It's unbelievable," I said.

I scoffed at my wild and silly thoughts with a dismissive laughter.

"Mercy, now I'm beginning to see and understand you, and how you've worried so about our love. Shannon, I love you, and I can never let you go, and I think that that's how you feel too," I said.

She resumed having her cheek on my breast, then decided to give it a loving kiss.

"Yes," she said. "I fear that they will make us part, and that I'll lose your love, and live in fear for my heart can love no other. I love you, Brooke. I love you so much, and they make me so afraid with all of their talk of eternal hell and its fires. Make me so afraid of not having that sweet love of yours that is so like heaven must be."

"Then let's live in the heaven of our love as long as we can. Let's plot and plan to make it last, maybe even escape from their hatred, for I know, just as you feel, that if they knew about us, that they would turn on us with hatred—his hatred that he's leading them to. I'll not give in, or give you up without a fight."

"I have been so afraid of losing you. I've loved you for so long, and my love became a burden too heavy to keep within me. When I told you of it, I thought I was sure to lose you, but you filled me full of joy when you said you loved me too. Then I began to fear even more, and when I finally knew the joy our love could bring to us, I worried even more, and had to fill myself with you as much as I could before I lost your love forever. Do you think we may be able to fool them, and keep on loving, maybe forever? Do you?" she asked hopefully.

My heart and mind started to fill with hope. Now I knew her apprehensions, the fears that had her feeling so desperate.

"Yes. Just maybe yes. I don't think that any suspect anything as yet, and you being as if shy and so quiet, they think nothing of what may be in you save that it's natural to you. Shannon, just keep on being as you are, and keep in mind that soon we'll be in college, and away from them. Right now we need them—it's the world we inherited, the world we were born into—but there's no reason that we can't try to change what our world is to be. We can do it. I just know we can. Will you fight to make it so for us, my love that I can't live without?" I asked her, my eyes shining with love and hope.

"If you can, I can," she said.

"We'll have to be careful, and be as we were before these last few wondrous days and nights, and when we have to part, keep in mind how we'll love soon. I know your love fully now, and I want that for us. I can wait when I have to. Will you? For our love?"

Suddenly her eyes were misted, but behind that mist was a love that was shining with hope for our future.

"Yes, my love, I can, and I will. We'll love in secret, unknown to any but ourselves, and if we have to suffer for want of it, yet I know we'll soon be together again, and then forever.Yes! Yes!" she cried in her joy—in our love.

We clung to each other, filling ourselves up with the knowledge of our love, and happily kissing over and over, then our kisses segued from our facial lips to our vaginal lips, and there we stayed for the longest time. She was worth it, the love we shared was worth it.

* * * *

It was as if I'd been thrust into the world of the grown ups, it suddenly hit with the responsibility of an adult with almost insurmountable problems. It was new to me; it was new to Shannon, but we were adamant that our love would succeed, and that we'd love forever.

And love we did until we were forced by our peculiar circumstances to stop, at least our physical loving, then we carried out our open charade of being just friends. I marveled at our resourcefulness—at Shannon's abilities, how she held up and when we couldn't be alone, was as she was always known to others. We even held the looking at each other with loving longing in abeyance when we had to, or just thought we might have to. As she said, we might go to hell, but for now, heaven was ours to have and hold, and we would.

Chapter 7

Fortune smiled on us. Shannon was tied for top honors, and I was an extremely close third. That all made for us being accepted to the same college, and with full scholarships, and even dormitory. All we had to provide were our books and meals. My parents gave me the car that I had while they visited Brian. Shannon nearly jumped with joy at our turn of luck.

Shannon had held up magnificently—we both had. She opted to make genetics her major. I took the introductory course with her, as well as English, and a few others. The most surprising thing in course selection that we found was an offering of Religion, specifically, the bible itself. It became our last class of the day.

It didn't take long for us to get settled. We had a dorm room with shower to ourselves, which made Shannon happier than any bunch of larks, and me as well, but not like she was.

"Is it true? Is our dream really happening?" she asked.

"It is, and we'll surely get to christen it tonight, huh?" I grinned with a lecherous look and wiggling eyebrows. She giggled. It was the first time I had heard her giggle, and it filled my heart with a sudden burst of joy.

Taking a shower right away, we had a lot of preliminary love making, but none that brought on a climax. Before we left home, we made sure to tidy up our pubic hairs, and to shave what wasn't needed. Her beauty took my breath away—we hadn't seen each other naked for a few months.

"You're so beautiful, Brooke, and sexy looking too," she said through her blush.

"You are too," I replied and kissed her.

We'd made sure the door was locked, and that it had been quiet for a long time too. Satisfied, we had to be side-by-side, cuddling and kissing until our bodies became too rambunctious, then we had to love each other as we loved to do. It was glorious. I know she felt as I did—free—free from any prying eyes, free of any worry of discovery by anyone significant to us, and, I could sense, free of any church forebodings. As I remembered, Shannon tasted so delicious, and after we'd had a hot coming together, we kept on, satisfied that we were able to freely love, and did enjoy a long and beautiful second time at our vaginas, and fell asleep as we were when we were sated.

* * * *

Our classes were good, and we liked each of them, as well as our instructors. No badies in the mix that we could tell so far. The next day, in our last class, we found our instructor to be a pretty lady who appeared to be in her late thirties. It was our bible class.

"Good afternoon. My name is Ms. Carlson. I'll try to remember all of your names as quickly as I can, but before we get started, I need to make sure everyone understands what this class entails. If there are any hard-core bible believers, often called Fundamentalists, and sometimes Evangelicals, that hate fo hear the bible criticized in any way, then this is your chance to drop out without taking any kind of hit either financially, or in your ultimate GPA. We will be looking at the bible critically."

With that, she looked around and waited for a few moments.

"Good. Now, another disclaimer. In this class, we will not be stating categorically whether or not their definitely is, or isn't, a God with a capital G, or any other kind, but we will be going over much of what is commonly called The Bible; the Christian version, and perhaps using King James, or the New Revised Standard Version, or the Catholic bible as well as some of the others as may come up. Any questions, or those wishing to leave the class without prejudice?"

There were no takers on either.

"Alright, mainly, I'll be using the King James, or KJV, but that doesn't mean in any way that others may not come into play, and that's at any time a question arises. If you have a laptop, and wish too, you may pull up a KJV, or regular bible book, and open it first to Matthew, 2:23. Does someone have that, and can read it?"

It was read by someone who had a KJV.

"Dwell in Nazareth to fulfill a prophesy that he'd be called a Nazarene. Anyone have an NRSV and can read it?"

I did, and read it.

"Hm a minor difference of opinion, huh? Still though, spoken of by the prophets and called a Nazorean, meaning, I think we can take it, that he was supposed to be from Nazareth. Then again, maybe not. How about the Catholic bible, anyone?"

"I have it," said another girl. "It has it as being spoken by the prophets, but..." she read it.

"One says dwelled in Nazareth to be called a Nazarene, another also spoken by the prophets and called a Nazorean, and the last, the Catholic version, we still have the prophets, but called a Nazorean. The common item is that something was spoken by the prophets about Jesus to make him live in Nazareth.

"It's an odd thing that if we look at a concordance of the bible that itemizes every word in the bible, or mostly so, we find, at least in the huge Strong's Concordance, absolutely no mention of a prophesy referring to Jesus being prophesying as being from Nazareth to be called anything similar to it. Something seems to be amiss.

"Let's stop here and talk about God in the bible. God, there, is said to be the creator of everything that is: the cosmos, the stars, the planets, and though it doesn't say it, the very air we breathe. He is said to be all knowing, even the thoughts and intents of the heart as it says in Hebrews, 4:12. He made everything, including us, and is omniscient, or all knowing. Is that a fair statement as far as you know?"

We all nodded, and looked around; there were no dissenters.

"So, we're told that God, making everything we see, and knowing everything, cannot make a mistake, right?"

Again, we all nodded.

"And we also believe that the bible is the word of God; true?"

No objections were voiced.

"Well, not quite. Some do say that the bible is to be taken allegorically. If that is so, then we all have to read the bible and figure out what it may be meaning. Hm! The bible is sort of voluminous, and darned hard to read, so if we're of a Christian sect that takes the allegory route, we take the word of the leader of the sect, and if we're not satisfied with one, we look for another, and so on and so forth.