Turning the Tables

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"Shiiiiiit!" Dan wailed.

Jen dropped her crop and stepped closer to his head. He turned to watch her, for a moment calming despite the sensory overload from Rosie and Sarah.

She slowly poured massage oil into her hand.

"Did you say you wanted to cum? Are you losing control, Dan?" she asked smiling down at him.

He swallowed hard before replying. 'No, Mistress, I'm fine."

She stepped down the bed to see Sarah using slick from her pussy and coating his cock. Her tongue curled around the head, circling and teasing. Rosie reached between her legs and dipped two fingers into her pussy. She returned to rubbing against his chest while bringing wet fingers up to his mouth. Dan greedily sucked and lapped at her juices.

Jen reached under the table to spread the oil over his arse. He tensed. With a little effort she managed to work her finger between his clenched cheeks.

"Oh fuck! Nooooooo!" he wailed.

Jen let her fingertip press lightly on his tight little arse hole. "Are you safewording?" She had to lean back around Rosie to look at his contorted face. As she waited for a reply she stroked her finger, hoping he would relax his cheeks as they were crushing her hand.

"Damn you, woman. Please can I cum?"

She laughed at him, relieved when he relaxed a little. Her hand was no match for his glutes. "Ladies cum first tonight. Both my girls are still waiting." She slid the tip of a well oiled finger into his arse.

"No...No...No...No," he panted.

"Sorry, boy, did you say red?" Jen asked leaving the tip of her finger in as he contracted around it.

Rosie was moaning louder, rolling her pussy hard on his chest. She froze then shuddered as a whole body orgasm consuming her. Her pussy gushed across his chest and cum pooled under his neck.

"Did you say red?" Jen demanded letting her finger pump just a few millimetres in and out, matching the rhythm Sarah had set with her mouth and hands on his cock.

"You'll make me cum if you keep going," he sobbed.

Rosie fell forward to lie on his chest, her lips toyed with his ear lobe as she floated back to earth.

Jen chuckled, taking that as permission, and slid her finger in deeper. Despite the awkward angle it only took her a moment to locate the spongy raised area. She applied pressure.

"Oh God..." he groaned. "Mistress, please let me cum, pleeeeeeeeeese."

Sarah sat back on her heels. She rubbed her clit faster, the other hand pumping his rock hard cock.

His balls tightened as Jen rubbed and massaged his prostate firmly. She could feel it swelling. He was so close. Her own wetness was running down her inner thighs at the wonderful sight and sounds.

Sarah threw her head back and screamed, cumming hard. Her hand tightened as she pumped his swollen cock faster.

"Please...please," he half whimpered and half growled.

"No," Jen replied flatly, crushing her thighs together, as the first shot of cum exploded from his cock. She laughed massaging his throbbing prostate.

Sarah turned to grin at Jen, looking like the cat who got the cream. Her slick hand pumping as his cock continued to shoot high into the air.

Dan jerked and contoured against the restrains, warm cum landing on his stomach and thighs. The wailing noise was bliss to Jen's ears as her pussy clenched. The delightful stench of sex filled the air.

Cum was now dripping from his cock as he sucked air into tourtured lungs. Sarah released his shaft and scooped up some from his balls. Sucking her finger into her mouth she hummed with pleasure. He collapsed back, limbs limply hanging off the table, spent cock resting against his thigh.

Jen slipped her finger from his arse. "Girls, go clean up, we're done here."

Rosie and Sarah climbed off the massage table leaving Dan satiated and barely conscious. Jen retrieved a wet wipe and cleaned her hands as the girls left.

She moved back to Dan and removed the cuffs as he lay there, eyes closed with a look of bliss. Undoing the last cuff, he rolled his head lazily to one side and dragged his eyes open to watch.

"I failed," he mumbled through a parched mouth.

"Sit up, Dan," she said gently.

He pushed himself up shakily and took the water she handed him, which he drained gratefully. She waited for him to focus on her. "Get dressed." She reached out a hand to steady as he staggered off the table.

Groggily, Dan pulled his trousers on. He struggled with the shirt, doing the remaining buttons up wrong. Jen returned to her velvet covered chair and sat down watching him.

He looked across at her as he slipped his shoes on. "Thank you, Mistress Jen," he said sincerely.

"You can show yourself out." She nodded to the door. It wasn't how she expected the evening to go, but she was pleased her girls had passed with flying colours. And despite Dan becoming a crazed nethanderthal he had been fun to play with.

He dropped to his knees and crawled towards her. She raised an eyebrow watching. Reaching her feet he grinned up. "I'm sorry I was such a bad boy." This time he did not sound genuine.

Jen quelled her smile. "Go," she ordered firmly.

He dipped his head and nibbled her toes, before scrambling to his feet and darting for the door. Jen laughed loudly as he disappeared. She would enjoy replaying the scene in her head once in the privacy of her bedroom. Her pussy throbbed in agreement at the plan. She shook her head. She might have to rethink banning Dan from her clubs, he really was a lot of fun.

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6 Comments
Sweetiepie101Sweetiepie101about 3 years ago
Excellent

Your works always excite and astound me. Another spectacular read

Ruffus_GoodmanRuffus_Goodmanover 3 years ago
Began reading from your forum's signature link...

...and discovered I glanced over before on my "studies". Not my fav theme, but I read out to check your style and maybe talk about editing/reviewing.

About the story, you really take your time until action unfolds. Nothing bad, but some scenes seem dragged right in the middle of the action.

Also, public can really learn new words from your work. I'm not sure that is common to see porn material depicted with that vocabulary, but I really expanded my eng knowledge tonight (not only that, in fact...)

I'd say you pack some nice ideas, a femdom voyeur, 2 sub slaves and a guy posing as dom, but I didn't see him much sexually active besides the oral.

I see your pimping skills are maxed out by story's background. This gets unreal to a point it starts entering redtube/xhamster screenplay material. Not a bad thing, but if you don't put boundaries to your characters, you can't expand them later. Meaning, femdom lady can't get better in life than owning (several? more than one at least) clubs featuring enslaved women working for her. Yet, she got aroused by one client posing as maledom, out of his goodwil. Seems farfetched, doesn't it?

I hope you take this points as just like my humble opinion and I really enjoyed your work and dedication to this piece. Looking forward to seeing more of this material's high-quality english around Lit!

Thanks!

GinloverGinloveralmost 4 years agoAuthor
Wow, real feedback!

Thank you, Emirus, I honestly appreciate it and you hit the nail on the head perfectly. The story is set off a RP I did with a friend to meet his fantasy. He then took it in a direction I didn’t expect, bottoming from the top or topping from the bottom depending on how you view ‘Dan’, acting out until I had to make my other characters react. Personally I would’ve just kicked him out for being an idiot, but it was written RP and a thank you, so he got his fantasy. 

It was so far from anything I would find erotic I have battled with this story for close to a year. Writing it in different POV and first and third person, to finally settle on a deep third person POV of the Domme. I was genuinely concerned about who would enjoy the story, as dominant narrated stories don’t do as well as a submissive narrator, plus the twist was enough of a niche I doubted many Dominants would enjoy it. Being determined, I kept going and decided to submit it and I’m pleased with the reception. 

My editor friend also commented on the ending feeling weak, I always try to calm things and offer a closure to a story, but as you said the same thing I clearly missed that mark. I’ll also just brush over my epic typo. 

I don’t have any plans to continue Jen’s story, it was difficult enough getting this one finished, but I look forward to reading yours when it is published. Thank you again for offering constructive feedback.

EmirusEmirusalmost 4 years ago
Dim Dan the Dom is an arsehole!

I think your plot idea came across very well, and I say that as someone who is not a fan of maledom or domination of a woman by another woman. I’ve not written anything from those viewpoints and so doubt I ever will. I’m too fond of women to subjugate them in any way (except with their consent 🤫) and I also liked the twist in the tale. A nice lead up to it.

It’s fellatio, by the way, not fallitio. I did think it was a very quick transition for him from a Dom to Sub, although not in his mind, and felt the ending could have been stronger but, all in all, a good story. Different. I like different.

I think you have an opening for a sequel, if not a series, or a much longer story centring on Jen and her club(s). I was a little confused with “any club I’m working at” as you seemed to have made it clear Jen was the owner of an S&M club, not an employee, and that the girls were intended to be working for her there. Dan is a bully who visits her club as a client and fancies himself as a Dom but has to pay for the privilege. You did specify “clubs” at the end but I don’t think describing her as “working” would be right unless you would be intending to write a Mercedes Bends.

I think one of the reasons I liked it is because I’ve just submitted a story, completely different from yours, about a dominatrix hired to take down a wealthy, sexually depraved, misogynist.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

Superb! Love the details that create real and genuine feeling personalities of the characters. I want to know more about the dynamic between Dan and Jen, it's fantastic!

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