All Comments on 'Twelve Maxbridge Street'

I think your ideas are really good, but you're let down by your writing. Sorry for being so critical.

What I mean is that you repeat words. Perfect and perfect, for example. So you could read Stephen King's 'on writing' and maybe some others. They'll add tension, release and variety to your stories, which is only going to make them better.

But I think the ideas are great! Fancy going somewhere private, to play out a fantasy and there's your boss! Dynamite!

MHK,

As I read this, Story of O immediately came to mind, and I see you've acknowledged Reage.

The club contained what I can only describe as elegant depravity. The movement in the story is slow, beautifully paced, your cast of tormenters, exotic.

I had no sense, during reading, that you're not a man - so I was astonished by your author's reveal. That's impressive, to carry a voice so consistently. Cudos.

Fine writing, indeed.

Nice story, and as I'm into Femdom and the male painslut, I like the idea.

This segment here by you in my opinion summed up the whole mood of the exciting piece:

"Do you desire to be anally penetrated?"

"No."

"Do we have your permission to anally penetrate you?"

"Yes."

---

That really says it all, and it made it so thrilling when it later happens.

Nice story. Keep writing.

If you had an interracial element, it would have been better, but pretty good tale. But then, I like interracial a lot so don't go by my taste.

Do you detect qualities of self acceptance, self containment in John?