All Comments on 'Twenty Two Fucking Years'

Rushed confusion and lacking in drama and dialogue more like a documentary. I had high Hope's of a good old fashioned drama full of consequences and justice this vanished on page 1. Shame really but thank you for your efforts it's always better than the cuck squads stuff.

Yankee trash. Please stop writing.

We are still in lockdown and don't need your poor writing.

PS I am not American

With an over the top, absurd ending unmatched to

the story itself.

This was thin-too much about peripherals and not much substance to the story.

You can't get DNA from hair unless the roots are attached, it degenerated into creepy murders and crimes. Hope hooking your MC up with a lethal injection for murder, rape, drugging and all the other crimes crosses everyone's mind.

Talk about a long term anger. This lady? really picked the wrong Yankee to anger.

A good BTB, he did not muck around

4/5

I liked the beginning and than it flipped. Story went from easy reading to a flurry of crazy.

Do you realize how funny naming the wife "Sheila Jackson Lee" is"? The real SJL is perhaps the most unhinged member of Congress and represents one of the "hoods" in Houston. The seat was originally held by Barbara Jordan. Stonewall Jackson did NOT lead VMI. He had an appointment as "Professor of Natural and Experimental Philosophy and Instructor of Artillery".

Keep writing, despite the inane comments by the commenters with "handles". They're as foolish as Seuss's sneeches with stars.

Fun, but far from subtle. Life isn't quite like that even when we wish it were. Still, it does feed the need.

I find that my particular favorite BTB stories are the ones where the "bitch" is made to understand the depths of their depravity and have inflicted on them crushing retribution for their betrayal. I am drawn to the dialog between spouses regarding the betrayal of the relationship. This story left that out completely. It was also a bit more over the top than most with death and destruction liberally spread about during the retribution. I guess financial and emotional ruin is more my cup of tea. For those not engaged in the most malicious and blatant form of cheating, such as this WS, I will never understand the choice to cheat. You are betraying all forms of morals both internal and external to engage in this activity when you could just hash it out with the spouse or chose to leave before you chose to engage in that bitter betrayal. Cheating never fails to destroy and relationship and the effort needed to repair and replace the former relationship is astronomical. If cheaters could somehow be made to feel a fraction of the emotional turmoil their decision with inflict I am convinced that many of them would not make that choice. I am fascinated by this choice and I suppose the exploring of that concept in these stories is what draws me to them. I also find it is one of the more difficult themes to explore in writing because it is so strange that you purport to still love someone and express real desire to stay with them after you have betrayed them in the most heinous way possible. So often the phrase, "I don't know why I did it" and "it was a mistake" are used by cheaters when neither of these are ever true. Cheaters are a particular brand insane in which they simply cannot come to terms with their betrayal in the immediacy of it coming to light. That level of selfishness if not something they can face in their moment of crisis and in the aftermath and dealing with the fallout. It takes a LONG time, if ever, for cheaters to confront and accept that they were such pieces of human garbage.

It started very good, but after the discovery, the over the top confusing narrative killed it. At least no cuck shit in the story. I gave it a 4**** just because of that.

Well written but dissatisfying tale. Hard to believe that she and her family were so expert at covering the traces of infidelity for 22 years without a clue from Jason, even after having been caught in college. Such a highly skilled hacker might have been keeping a little bit of a watch especially with red head sons. Retribution was pretty over the top, killing people and drugging Shelia for 22 more years before pulling the plug. Jason would not be someone I’d want to know.

Not bad except for lack of a confrontation with Sheila. Computer revenge is just too impersonal. The cheaters need to see you coming.

The first half was good, but the last half was so over the top, it's was a waste.

"breech the security" should be "breach the security"

"as her medical power of attorney" should be either "as the holder of her medical power of attorney" or "as her medical attorney-in-fact"

I think every instance of a plural has, incorrectly, an apostrophe, while none of the possessive cases do. Just reverse this in your next story and you'll be good.

I have to agree that this exaggerated, "My computer kung-fu is very powerful," trope is over the top like a Die Hard movie, but it's your story.

The set up was pretty good. But it all imploded upon the MC learning of the infidelity.

At that point the story got rushed and convoluted. The lack of confrontation with wife and explanations dragged the interest down. The writing at this point got rather tedious and boring.

Decent start....disappointing finish. 2**

I would have enjoyed more of confrontation and a little info on his revenge plan. Was confused when reading the end. Overall an enjoyable read!

Too extreme for me. Also the lack of a proper confrontation let the story down. Leaving all the willing participants exposed for what they were and making them penniless would have been a more satisfying conclusion especially when they were made aware of who had done it. Because of the killings I can only give 3 stars.

But far far away from it in others.

1,000 tons of nitrogen based fertilizer going off? That was just too much LOL

Fast attack sub COs are commanders in rank, captain in position. When they reach Captain in rank they get a desk job.

I always try to find something within a story that brings positive thoughts to the story. This story is void of the positives. Sadly, I wasted twenty minutes of my day reading this story. If this is your best I can only imagine what your worst would contain.

Page 2 just went completely off the rails. Bizarre, and not in a good way.

At least it wasn't a cuck story. Very little interaction and dialog makes for a boring emotionless story. I want to see the whites of their eyes when I burn them down and they know exactly who was holding the torch.

So Over the top that it’s dumb. Sorry. Try again. Be a little more realistic.

A bit tediously detailed but other than that I was enjoying it but after the wife returned it turned into a ridiculous pandering to the BTB crowd. Thought you'd get a solid 3 or 4 but that end dropped it to a 2.

Consequences to being a lying, cheating whore and being an accomplice to the fact are very, very damaging. Oh well, cross the wrong person and you don’t get to make excuses or move on. Whores like her should stick to weak pathetic assholes.

Less painful that way.

This should rate as a classic in the realms of combined 'burn the bitch' and 'burn the bastard' stories.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR ONE OF THE GREATEST STORY EVER ON THIS CUCKOLD LOVER WEBSITE!

I feel dumber for having read this.

The first part of the story was well written and well thought out and had a ton of potential. The story completely went off the rails shortly after he found out about her cheating. The atomic bombs in plane crashes and whatever else I can do most of the ending to be honest we’re just a little unrealistic and was a horrible horrible horrible ending to otherwise a good start to a story. Advice to the author rewrite from about the middle of the story because otherwise it’s just a steaming pile on top of a good start.

Sheila robbed him of a chance to have his own biological children by tricking him into raising a couple of bastards. As far as I'm concerned, she deserved every second of misery she endured being locked up in a nuthouse.

The main problem with the story was too much narration. This needed a confrontation scene with Sheila where she tries to explain why she betrayed him in such an appalling way.

To really twist the knife on the revenge, you could've written one of the scenes where he tells Shiela that her lover/parents had died. Her horror and anguish when she realises her husband was behind all the payback would've made for dramatic reading.

Good buildup as he figures it out. His revenge was so over the top it equals the navy seal parodies.

But became increasingly unrealistic with an absurd ending. Adultery, even serial adultery, is not illegal. The MC's response, multiple murders, large scale destruction of property just for petty, unedifying revenge was ridiculous.

Somehow the author seemed to become less and less mature as the story progressed. The unfortunate results of relying on a spell checker didn't help in this regard either-so many trivial errors. By the end I felt I was reading a gamer's fantasy.

This could have been good, the idea is sound and the first three quarters of a page builds drama and then you shit the bed.

He becomes a deadbeat dad and transforms into some kind of computer ninja. Blowing up buildings, crashing planes and a drugging his wife. Where are the rest of her family while she is being raped and impegnated?

Just terrible 1 star.

Boring read to me. Sorry!

James would never have been that blind or naive. Was ready to give your dumb shit arrogant self-denial ass a 3 until you went all Thermonuclear on the whole family of cheating bastards. Such vengeance and cruelty should not go unadmired. But he absolutely deserved the fucking over. He didn't even insist on reading the letters before he reconciled the first time, didn't inquire just who owned the private jet and was paying for the flights, didn't have a locator app on the wife's phone in,case something happened to the boys while she was traveling, didn't immediately get DNA testing when he supposedly fathered twins with red hair?

Yeah, you made it easy for her; you were begging for it. Can't wait to read how the second wife runs off to Europe with her lover and your money. Hack that!

And thanks for the effort.

.....but the revanche was too hard to be believable. The wife was not really confronted and her lover was not much in the story. Now the sons never had a saying in this plot.

Some writers had these long stories of 15 pages of a stupid story but you only had two of a good one and should had work more on all the characters. ***

This story has possibilities but .....

It reads with all of the feeling and emotion of a dictionary. The main problem is it doesn’t make sense. Way too many holes.

Too much detail less story. You don't have to include all the things he sees. What matters is the action of the characters. I don't feel any emotion. It seems like the story is narrated by an autist

In general l liked it, though your tempo is of the charts. When a story moves as fast as this it’s really difficult to get a feel for any of the characters, thus the storyline Becomes nothing more than staged advents towards process.

Thanks again for the read.

The story started well, and I particularly enjoyed the Yankee- South dynamic.

But, the story the turned to the unfortunately too common BTB glorifying the husband's criminal behavior. Thus the husband becomes no better than the cheating wife, as both are devious disreputable people. Good authors can do a BTB without the husband committing crimes. Needing to turn to crime just tells me that the author did not have the necessary imagination.

So, started well, but ended up crap.

..... just boring and silly. not really offensive, but not really entertaining either.

BTB at its worst. Overlong and tedious back story and the rest was just as bad. To be honest I gave up half way through and read the end but regretted doing even that. Possibly the most boring story on here for some time.

Decent story, but dry. It doesn't grip you. Please keep it up, and you'll improve.

... For making her seemingly smart husband ignore the glaring sign of cuckolding that was his 'sons' being redheads when no one else, in their respective family, were remotely ginger. I personally never got sex so good, a woman could make a fool out of me for three decades... now that's some SPECTACULAR vag power!

So yeah - the MC got his BTB and all, and ended up living his best life, according to him... but, honestly, doesn't it feels like, when all is said and done, Sheila still ended up the biggest winner out of this whole fiasco?

Ultimately, her true motivation made very little sense (more on that later), but the woman did indeed had some objectives out of her relationship with Jason:

1. Marry him.

2. Get pregnant from her true love, and make sure that her clueless husband raised the bastards.

3. Keep her affair with Stuart going.

Sure, it all eventually came crashing down... but you know what Meat Loaf sang: two out of three ain't bad! What's way worst, though, is the sad fact that she ultimately managed to make Edwards childless... 'cause, yes, although the twins are indeed his children, she made his genetic coding pretty much irrelevant.

So 22 years of revenge, which does included daily rapes, but with her barely aware of it all, and a lonely, miserable death, versus 18 years of cuckolding and no one to share his genes... Call me bias, but, all and all, it sure looks like the scale tipped in her favor.

In any case... a whole lot of questions are left unanswered, after this read - the biggest one being, of course: why did Sheila targeted Edwards, when she already had Tom, who had all the qualities her parents wanted her to look for, except for being a Yankee? Why did those two waged so much misery among so many people (two jokes of a marriage for Stuart, one for Jackson) when they could have just stay together from the get-go? Why were Sheila's parents so OK with her being a whore (for Jason) and a slut (for Tom)? Why did Edwards married again without making sure his second wife would give him children? I mean, he first was dumb enough to wed a skank out of love, so how about getting hitched again to have his own kids, this time around? Was Sarah unable to bear babies? How exactly does a less-than-ethically hacker, regardless of how talented he is, managed to pull of half of the events described here that ultimately cause the downfall of the Jackson/Stuart clan? And, since he evidently had the power of an unforgiving god at his disposal, why didn't he go after Sheila's brothers too?

Well, this was uneven. Kinda came out of it not respecting Jason at all, even though I has no issues with his retributions toward his wife. There's only so much stupidity you're willing to accept from a clueless husband, and this one went well over the line, way too often for me to root for him. 'Feeling bad for his kids, though - no one want to learn that the man who raise you didn't fathered you, that your bio-father has no principal and that your mom was a worthless spouse... No wonder they had no contact with Sheila, towards the end. 'Wonder if they even bothered showing up for the funeral...

Better than what we usually get around here, but miles away from the bests. I really do wish I enjoyed it more, author.

Top of page 2 - you gave us 5 fairly long paragraphs (and arguably 7-8 paragraphs) of detailed description of the condo. I think that’s a little overkill. Probably could have done with two paragraphs, or 3 shorter paragraphs.

And the BTBs of all the baddies could have been condensed ~40% or so.

And the fertilizer explosion? I suppose ok if NO ONE was injured, but that’s hard to control.

Ok.

Written for pathetic men who hate women. Mainly because they can't get them.

Unfortunately about as gripping as a McDonald’s menu.

I was fine until the epilogues. The author writes well and the plot was believable and interesting until it went off the rails. Then it went from a 4+ to a 2-.

Was decent until the epilogs. Why no confrontation with the wife and her family. Using his hacking to SUBTILY trash her family should have sufficed. I think her treatment was WAY OTT. I've seen wives who openly cuckold their husbands get treated better!

Yet another story where the heroine gets the rough end of the deal. This nasty little cuckold Jason seems happy with the bad luck Sheila and Tom suffered, you can see why she had children by the better man. You have to remember Sheila and Tom broke no laws but I bet Jason did even if it was just having sex in public with his elderly wife. How would anyone have sympathy with that loser? The sons sound a bit lame but hopefully they move on from Jason's influence. If the author expects sympathy for the cuckold from the reader then he is a very sick individual

Agree with other comments.This story was alright until the epilogue,when it went downhill.

I liked it.

Fawk!

Remind me to never piss you off, sir.

Yuk.

I LOVED IT AND DEFINITELY GAVE IT FIVE STARS!

Let's not piss this guy off

sure give adult care facilities some bad light. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

agreed lee, do NOT get on this guys bad side. Good story Richard

Southern, white trash finds wealthy northern boy, and proceeds to bleed and cuck him.

Smart northern boy learns of deceit, remedies situation, effectively destroying southern white trash families.

Good job!

yepp.

my kinda man...my kina story.

thanks a ton mate. thanks a ton.

Sweet REVENGE!

Thats a serious burn

BTB yes FTDS and vandemonium1

This just crazy

jtwheels

BTB Would be ok, but this was overkill in my opinion. Financal destruction yes, but killing, no. Sorry

That is some serious retribution! Not that she and they didn't deserve it. Good story.

Great BTB!!! 5 STARS!!!

Its was good up until she came home, then it felt like it was just throw together to get a big cheer from the BTB crowd without the effort.

Again for this perfectly delightful little BTB. Cheating, lying, and general perfidy can be detrimental to a bitch's health. Bastard's too.

Brilliant! Waste no time. The minute he suspected and confirmed her lies he brought down the guillotine and Whap … gone was the bitch. He went nuclear immediately and took no quarter. Liked it very much. One of the best BTB stories! Full Marks - 5-Stars!!!

I like the story. AAA++

Well it was a helluva start wasted by an eye rolling resolution. Could have been really good.

She deserved to suffer but it was way too much, one of the Lees should have ended that pricks life. yes im a Yankee

He was still an evolutionary dead end which was a win for Sheila. Otherwise, good story.

What a bitch! She had it coming... 5 stars!

I sense some spite for Southerners, I have it too. But then again, most American women are not worth much. Like American cars, demanding, low quality, lots of horse power, and quick depreciation. I prefer Japanese.

Totally over the top, the crescendo ending makes really no sense at all.

The story was great but the burn was a little over the top

Hubby is slow to pick up but then fast an furious BTB in the end with a lot of mumbo-jumbo about "hacking."

This could have been a longer and more elaborate story.

As for Southern women, well I agree that American women in general are not worth much outside sex. Basically anybody who plans to marry an American woman should have iron-clad prenup to avoid troubles later. American women are easily spoiled even without any Salmonella.

Just awful.

The BTB was a little over the top, but still a good story. Yes, he was cucked, but she lost out in the end. With everything electronic, some of this story is plausible. The end (for a change there was one) was a little dramatic, and over the top as well. It seemed to move along pretty decent, and flowed well. I'll give it a 3.5

Thank you for sharing your story with us, but I find it falls well short of some of your other work. The main problem was that I feel like you did a very poor job of connecting his "white hat" hacking abilities with the various mishaps which befell the miscreants. As a result, the pay-back came across as karma more than revenge. This is not good for a revenge story.

Pure fantasy.

Yes

I agree. Absolute fiction. But what a ride.

Five Stars

No explanation of how his hacking abilities caused all the distressing events. Without an explanation, these were all coincidences, not planned events.

Have to agree 100% with Dar2Donut2's assessment of American women. I'm personally done with them. My filipina gf is handsdown better in the bedroom than eitber of my ex wives and doesn't take me for granted. My pinay is 15 yrs my junior and glad to be with me, and I with her😊

Looks like the author wrote a story outline, started writing the story, got tired, and just slapped the rest of the outline at the end...

I think OP was dropping acid for about the final third or fourth of the story.

.

Also, naming the shrew Sheila Jackson Lee pretty much tainted the story from the beginning.

.

4/5.

This guy is a complete loser and got what he deserved. How fucking stupid. He knew before he married the heartless Cunt that she was a lying slut and then his kids are redheads with no redheads in the family Duh! What a loser! The story was a worthless POS

Hmmm...crispy! Fine BTB, though have to agree with those who noted the MMC's cluelessness (he only noticed the red hair then?). But I generously gave it a 5, although it would have been a stronger 5 if Jason and Sarah had managed to have children of their own. And speaking of dropping acid, Legio_Patria_Nostra, what is "OP"? Funny, I'd noticed the Sheila Jackson Lee name, too - she is or was a member of Congress, if I'm not mistaken. Well, if that ain't a taint, nothing is.

0 star - violence always gets a ZERO

Paternity fraud should be a felony. This is very well written and has a suitable ending, save for the fact that the MC never got to have a family of his own. Re: nixrox...what a ninny. IRL, violence, properly used, is a necessary means of preserving a healthy culture. Only societies with healthy families can be sound, and punishing infidelity severely is one element of maintaining a sound society. For several generations we have failed to deal seriously with infidelity, among other forms of social rot, and our culture is degenerating into a totalitarian, socially atomized disaster.

Now this is a classic BTB story, though his first mistake was taking her back after the first time she cheated with the same guy she had the 22-year affair with. He exacted revenge with a lot of vengeance and like they say revenge is best served cold. 5 stars

Burned the entire region.....LMOL! Love it when an author gets utterly diabolical....!

5 stars

mostly good story, I needed to have more info on how the revenge was planned executed and received by the cheating scum. down to 3* s since i needed more explaining of the revenge. and i completely missed that the kids were redhaids till reading other critics, so now y'all know why i need an xplanation of the revenge. rk

"One of my brother-in-laws ...."

It is the 'brothers' that are plural, not the 'Laws'!

Thus it SHOULD be 'Brothers-in-Law'!

Mostly okay, but it went so far overboard that the suspension of disbelief snapped.

you would go to jail in real life dude LMAO.This story is kind of sick and disturbing.Sure she totally humiliated him and cucked him bad but letting her get repeatedly raped by caregivers is too much.