Twisted Buttfucking Desires Ch. 02

Note: This story is a continuation of the first part and contains no sexual content. However, it's tagged under the 'Anal' category due to the build up for the next part. Read the first chapter before this for complete contextual understanding.

After Chris had masturbated thinking about Amanda, he surprisingly didn't feel guilty as he usually did while masturbating to something dirty, kinky, and soul-piercing like anal. For all the terrible things that Amanda had done to him, it felt rather justifying that the least he could do was to wank himself off to her big, juicy ass. His love and affection for her were torn to bits, and a strong, raw, masculine, sexually intense feeling of hate and degradation were beginning to manifest.

He continued to masturbate to her on a regular basis, and his feelings of hatred towards her were only getting more intense. He felt like masturbation was a good outlet for expressing his repressed hatred and relieving stress. He almost lost all consciousness of his moral integrity and became extremely impulsive, thoughtless, horny, and was no longer the same person anymore.

Amanda and Shaun no longer hung out with the group. They were on their own for the most part but would occasionally bump into Chris inadvertently, and since they used to be friends at one point, they felt obligated to at least greet him.

Chris didn't give a shit about them anymore. He knew that they were just trying to make the situation less awkward with a friendly greeting, so he never reciprocated their pretentious greetings, rather just walked past them without batting an eye, slightly shaking his head in disappointment. He knew that Amanda had blocked him without even an explanation and that made him want to give her the cold shoulder as well.

Amanda never anticipated this kind of cold-hearted demeanor from Chris and was also turned on by his new dismissive attitude. She was always under the impression that he was naive, clueless, and forgiving. She felt worthless in his eyes, and it bothered her to know that he didn't think about her in the same manner anymore. Despite knowing that she was the one who didn't want his presence anymore, the fact that she knew she wasn't wanted either was deeply damaging to her self esteem. She desperately wanted to rekindle their friendship and get his approval again.

She knew that it was too late for an apology or even an excuse for blocking him, so she unblocked him and sent him memes and links she thought he may be interested in, with the hopes that he may somehow telepathically understand that it was an indirect way for her to say, "I'm sorry about what I did, please let's be friends again."

Unfortunately for her, Chris was not as naive as she thought anymore and straight-up ignored those messages.

This only made Amanda feel worse than before she had sent the messages, and knowing that nothing could be done about the situation, she felt extremely weak and deeply regretted everything she had done to ruin her relationship with Chris.

The only friends Chris had now were Axle and Bill. They used to hang out with each other often and Chris had gotten much closer to them ever since the departing of Shaun and Amanda from the group. He also made new friends in his new class i.e. Richard, Jane, Damien, and Shirley.

Due to his new friendships, he was no longer occupied with all the pain and misery that Amanda put him through, and since Shirley and Jane were friendly and intimate with him in a platonic sense, he knew that he could just be friends with them rather than confuse and destroy himself thinking about how they felt about him. He was in no mood to jump into a new relationship and just wanted to settle down emotionally and become himself again.

Almost a whole year passed by wherein Chris was just enjoying the company of his friends, not having to be worried about relationship drama and the pain that it brought along with it. It wasn't until the end of the second year of college when he met another girl who was interested in him, i.e. Patricia.

Patricia had a slightly slim frame, an hourglass-shaped body, perfectly round jutting boobs, wide hips, and a gorgeous, round ass. Her ass wasn't as big, deep, and chubby as Amanda's, but the shape of her ass was equally lust-provoking though it was on a smaller scale. Her thighs and legs were slightly bigger and wider with respect to her slim body but that only brought along with it a sense of sexual authenticity and maverick aesthetic beauty. She was a beautiful brunette with an unbelievably pretty face, ivory complexion, and big turquoise eyes with elegantly flowing lashes.

She was slightly shy, organized, sane, extremely intelligent, and compassionate. Unlike Amanda, she wasn't proactive in approaching guys she was interested in but was a bit passive and would try to indirectly express her interest through her body language, facial expressions, and actions, expecting the person to read the mood of the room, rather than starting a direct conversation. She was Jane's roommate, and she met Chris when he went to Jane's dorm room to study for the final exams with her.

Chris was instantly attracted to her when he noticed her, but due to his insecurities, kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. Despite his new friendships and good times, he hadn't recovered from his heartbrokenness and didn't have the emotional capacity to have feelings for another girl, but Patricia seemed to have changed that.

When Chris first made eye contact with Patricia, he was so nervous and astounded by her immense beauty that he immediately turned away while she continued to gaze at him. Patricia had a good intuition, and based on his body language, she instinctively knew that Chris was attracted to her. She thought Chris was cute and different, so she left her bed where she was studying and went to Jane's bed where Chris was studying with Jane.

Without saying a word, she went to the side of the bed where Chris was sitting down, and took a seat right beside Chris, sitting as close to him as possible despite there being ample space, making sufficient contact by firmly pressing her soft arms, hips, and thighs against his side. She leaned her head inwards for a moment to see what he was reading and then rested her head on his shoulders for support.

Chris felt a powerful wave of pure, warm, blissful, healing aura emanate outwards right from the core of his heart, and it almost made him lose sense of space and time. He felt like he had been completely cured of all the pain, suffering, and misery that he had been through, and it let him sit there still with a feeling of tranquility, magical awe, and disbelief.

Just the manner in which she approached him without saying a word and willingly touched and pressed herself against him made him feel a deep sense of reverence, gratitude, and marvel towards her. It was as if she knew exactly what he was going through and wanted to just be there for him at that moment, sharing the pain and suffering he'd been exposed to in his wretched life. Her beauty was amplified by thousands because of that lovely gesture, and Chris instantly developed romantic feelings for her.

"Hey Chris, are you even listening to me," Jane spoke abruptly, waking Chris up from the dreamy trance-like state he was absorbed in.

"Oh, sorry...I was just uh...thinking about something else," he said nervously.

"Well, we don't have time to dream Chris, we're gonna fail if we don't finish this by tonight."

"Right, right, let's get right back to it," he said shaking away his dreamy thoughts, realizing how he stupid he must've seemed.

"Okay then tell me, how do you do this problem?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Let's go to Shirley's room, she'd probably know how to do it," suggested Jane.

"Uhh, alright," Chris said hesitantly, as he didn't want to break contact with Patricia.

Patricia realized that Chris had to leave so she took her head off his shoulder and watched him intently as he packed his belongings. Chris looked back at her for just a moment after he was done packing his bag and slightly nodded his head without saying anything to signal her goodbye. She slightly tilted her head at an angle and smiled at his odd mannerisms in return.

Chris was filled with a warm, fuzzy, and pleasurably tensed feeling the whole day and was continually fixated on how wonderful it felt to be in Patricia's presence. He knew for sure that he had feelings for her and hoped that she had feelings for him as well. Even though Chris had feelings for Amanda before, he knew that it developed over a period of time with the influence of psychological factors rather than being spontaneous and instant like this. It felt like what he thought "love at first sight" must've been like.

Since this wasn't the first time Patricia was in a relationship, her feelings for Chris weren't as strong as his was for her, but she did take a keen interest in him and thought that there was scope for further development of their relationship. She was the kind of person who wanted to know a person completely before stepping into a romantic relationship.

It was the last day of the second year of college, and Chris was packing his bag to get ready to go back home. Since Patricia was in a different class, he didn't see her again after the day he met her first, which was only a few days back, and hoped that he may get a chance to see her again one last time before heading home.

Chris, Axle, and Bill were planning to go on a road trip on the last day of college, so Chris was walking along the college campus roads, calling Axle on his phone to check where he was. Fortunately, he spotted Patricia and Jane along the way and stood by them to have a conversation. Since Axle wasn't picking up his call, Chris hung up the phone thinking he may've been busy packing.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" Asked Jane.

"Nothing much, just calling Axle to find out where he is. Why're you guys waiting here?" Chris asked intently.

"Just trying to find someone to accompany Patricia to her way home. She's taking the bus," Jane explained.

"Oh, I see. Where do you stay Patricia?" Chris asked, looking at Patricia nervously.

"I stay in Gibbsworth town," Patricia replied smiling at Chris.

"Whoa, that's where I stay as well," Chris replied in a slightly stunned yet glad manner.

"Great, maybe you could come with me by bus," Patricia suggested with a delighted expression.

Chris thought for a moment about how tempting an offer it was to be alone with Patricia for 2 long hours on the bus. He thought that this was a good chance for them to talk and form a bond with each other which was more than just telepathic and instinctive. However, he was still very nervous in front of her and couldn't be his true self, and neither did he want to ditch Axle and Bill on the road trip plan, as he thought that would make him seem like a white knight. So due to a mixture of peer pressure and anxiety talking to Patricia, he hesitantly decided that he was not going to accompany her.

"Oh...I'm sorry, but I promised Axle and Bill that I would go on a road trip with them," he said nervously with the most helpless facial expression he could make.

"Oh, that's alright," Patricia muttered, turning slightly disappointed.

"Anyways...I have to get going now," Chris said hesitantly and left abruptly.

"Have fun Chris," Shouted Jane as he left.

Chris was extremely disappointed in giving up the perfect and perhaps even the only opportunity he'd ever get to form a bond with Patricia. He knew that he did the right thing by sticking to his word and not ditching his friends but he still regretted it, given that Axle had not picked up the phone in the circumstance, and he thought he could use that as an excuse to ditch him. He was also recalling Patricia's disappointed facial expression and felt extremely sad about her situation, as she now had to probably go home all alone. He felt like it was his fault for betraying her even though he didn't have to go with her and it ruined his mood for the day.

Patricia was slightly disappointed that Chris had decided not to go back with her. She felt that Chris' feelings for her were not as strong as she initially thought. However, her feelings for him were not as intense either. She was only attracted to his apparent personality and didn't know much about his true character, so she brushed away her temporary disappointment and went along with her day.

During the summer break, Chris often wondered whether Patricia felt the same way of him as he did of her. Based on the way she conducted herself in front of him, it seemed as if she did like him but he still wasn't sure about it. He even occasionally fantasized about her first interaction with him, and it played a significant role in intensifying his feelings for her. He almost thought of her as the answer to all his emotional problems, a savior so to speak.

Chris knew that the next time they would meet would be after college began, as he had no way of contacting her, and he hoped that they may get more chances to meet each other, despite knowing that she was in a different class.

Chris' father wanted Chris' help in setting up his new company so he wanted Chris to become a day scholar rather than to continue staying on campus, despite knowing that it was a 2-hour long journey from home to college and that it would be inconvenient for him. Chris was extremely afraid of his father and didn't dare to rebel against his demands, so he succumbed to the pressure and agreed to travel by bus to college, as he didn't have a driving license yet due to a minor eye condition he had.

This meant that Chris wouldn't be able to meet Patricia after class either, and he was frustrated at how things turned out. He felt as if the universe was keeping him away from what he desired the most.

Patricia did think about Chris a few times during the first few weeks of summer break, but she eventually got busy with other activities like her internship, and her feelings for him were almost neutralized. She knew that she may not get many opportunities to meet him to hang out, so she didn't have any hopes for their relationship to develop any further.

After the next semester had begun, Chris traveled by bus to college every day, and it was beginning to physically and mentally tire him, being on the road for 4 whole hours.

He rarely got the chance to meet Patricia again during breaks, but it was usually when his other friends were around. He didn't have the courage to directly confront her and tell her how he felt about her either, so whenever he got the chance to talk to her, it was only for a few seconds, and he was nervous and didn't quite interest her conversationally. He often regretted whatever he said and knew that he sounded awkward in her presence. It almost felt as if he was trying too hard to impress her and he realized it only after he played the conversation in his mind later on.

Patricia noticed that Chris was extremely anxious around her and although she was interested in him initially, his nervousness was a major turn off and she wanted him to stop being so awkward. She thought that Chris' anxious behavior was cute, quirky, and funny in the beginning, but as he continued to have short, pointless conversations with her over a period of time, it just became uncanny, annoying, and indicative of his low self-esteem and insecurities.

Chris was beginning to gradually lose sense of himself. He felt like he was completely under the control of his strong feelings towards Patricia and it made him say and do things he often regretted. He was also beginning to get lonely, tired, and impatient, as he was traveling by bus for 4 hours in a day, which he mostly spent thinking about Patricia but was never able to manifest an emotional connection with her.

He couldn't enjoy the things he once did, like movies, tv shows, video games, and playing guitar, and he felt like the only thing that ever made him feel anything good were his fantasies of Patricia. He became lost in his delusional state of mind and was angry at himself for not being able to communicate his feelings. It felt like he was in an emotional prison, being tortured with his conflicting emotions yet not being able to express them in any way.

He was always an above-average student academically, but now his grades fell significantly, and that caused him more pain and stress. He felt like he desperately had to know about how Patricia felt about him but wasn't courageous enough to ask her in person. He was beginning to think that the only way he was ever going to get rid of his problems is if he confesses his feelings towards her and gets it over with, for better or worse.

After a few months, during his mid-semester examinations, he finally managed to get Patricia's phone number, as he needed notes from her class' mathematics professor and asked her for the PowerPoint slides, which she sent through a messaging service on her phone. He thought that he could finally confess his feelings to her through text but waited until the exams were over.

A week later, he decided that it was finally time for him to confess his feelings to her. He thought that the sooner he did it, the lesser time he'd have to waste not knowing.

It was around 6:00 PM on a Saturday evening and Chris was ready for the moment of truth. He was extremely nervous despite not being in her direct presence. He had a hot numbing feeling in his blood accompanied by butterflies in his stomach.

He was questioning whether this was the right thing for him to do for a fair number of times. Due to his delusional state of mind, he thought that there was a 50% chance that she liked him as more than a friend even though his interactions with her spoke otherwise.

He finally mustered enough courage to text her about his feelings and the conversation went as follows:

Chris: Hey, I just wanted you to know that I have a crush on you.

Patricia: Oh...okay, I'm flattered 😅

Chris: How do you feel about me tho?

Patricia: I've just always thought of you as a friend.

Chris: Oh..fair enough.

Patricia was put in a very awkward situation when he texted her this.

She was slightly impressed by his straightforwardness and her naturally buried feelings for him were gradually beginning to re-manifest at this gesture. She never anticipated that a guy like Chris, who was extremely anxious around her, would have the guts to confess his feelings in a very straightforward manner, and the unexpected element of surprise made Chris seem to her like he was more than he seems to be. However, she knew that since they hadn't talked to each other much and didn't know each other well enough, she had to reject him politely.

She was hoping that Chris would confess his feelings to her in person as well, expecting him to understand that she didn't take him seriously online, and neither was she being serious while rejecting him. Unfortunately, Chris took it very seriously and considered that any chance of being in a relationship with her was completely shattered.

Although Chris seemed calm and confident in the messages, in reality, he was absolutely heartbroken. He knew that there was a chance he'd get rejected but his feelings were too strong for her to accept it. His delusions about Patricia liking him finally took its toll on him, almost as if to say, "that's what you get for being delusional, you pathetic loser."

He couldn't sleep the entire night and was repetitively thinking about the conversation in his mind with a scorching hot, twisting feeling in his heart. In fact, he thought about it so much that he even lucidly dreamt about the same sequence of messages over and over again while he was awake, not being able to cope with the bitter truth of reality.