Two Broken Roads Ch. 01

Sure enough, Mom called exactly 36 hours after Sarah told her my wishes. I think she set a stopwatch to be sure no minute was wasted. I managed to fake strength and promised I'd come to see them in a few weeks. She started to call Megan a few choice names using uncharacteristic terms, and I had to calm her down.

"Mom, I don't want you saying bad things about Megan. After all, I'm the one she abandoned."

"Sure, Ben. But a momma bear protects her cubs."

"The cub is grown up. Listen, I love your support and I need your prayers, but you guys should pray for Megan, too. Something tells me she's chasing rainbows expecting to find treasure, and she's going to be disappointed."

"Oh, you're right, dang it. I want to claw her eyes out, but I can see your wisdom shining through. I'll be nice, and we'll add her to our prayers."

My brothers all called at different times on Thursday. All three sisters Skyped me together early Friday evening. Over the weekend a few friends made contact and I repeated the same story I'd grown to despise. Even so, I still really appreciated the support I was given.

On Saturday morning my pastor stopped by unannounced, but I really welcomed his visit. He helped me clear my thoughts and center my mind on how to move forward.

That evening I had my usual nightly dinner with Sarah and Bobby, but I sensed something different, a little off, about Sarah. She was really quiet, which was not like her at all. As Sarah served me a slice of sour cherry crumb pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream (she knew that was my favorite), she gave me a crooked little smile.

"I have something I need to tell you."

"What's wrong Sarah? You look like your dog died or something."

She plopped in her chair with a bit of an anguished sigh. "Megan called me today."

"Oh!" I fought the urge to attach uncomplimentary names to Megan. "How'd that go?"

Sarah put on the darkest face I've ever seen her wear. "I wanted to scream at her and give her some nasty pieces of my mind!"

I had to smile and shake my head. "I know that's not like you. Not that I don't appreciate where you're coming from."

Sarah gave a little laugh. Bobby chimed in "You've never seen Sarah really mad!" She gave him a playful smack. I was reminded again why I loved those two people!

"So, I guess I should ask what was on her cruel little mind."

Sarah lightened up a bit at my reply. "It was really uncomfortable. I told her I felt like I didn't really know her and didn't believe she could hurt you the way she did. She begged me not to give up our friendship and wanted to have lunch with me next week to talk."

Sarah looked at me waiting to see my reaction.

I considered what she said for a moment. "I think Megan is going to need a friend, and I know firsthand that you and Bobby are the best friends anyone could ask for."

Sarah put her hand on mine with a thankful smile. Bobby didn't look as willing to agree with Sarah.

"Guys," he said. "I support Sarah and can see the bigger picture of how this should go. But I can't forget what she's doing to you, buddy. You're my best friend and I can't get past it, at least not for a while."

"I get it Bobby, and you and I can put Megan's picture on a dartboard and have some fun." I forced an evil grin as he chuckled. "But for whatever reason Megan did this, and wherever her head is now, I think she's going to need a friend like Sarah. I know I'm never going to trust Megan or feel the way I did before all this. But I will never stop caring about her and I want to see her figure this all out and find some happiness."

My thoughts about Megan were making me mad at myself. One minute, I would want to hurt her twice as much as she hurt me. The next minute, I wanted to forgive and forget. My love for her wasn't like a faucet that could be turned off. Pieces of love would always be there. I was certain that she and I would never be together again, but I wanted to get to the point where my response was to live well, and I couldn't help wishing the same thing for her.

A little tear betrayed the depths of my emotions. "Sarah, please be her friend. If not entirely for her sake, please do it for me."

Sarah climbed over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You deserved much better!" she said with a few tears of her own.

"Yeah," I said. "But this lug over here already has you!"

Bobby laughed. "Like I said Ben, you haven't seen her when she's mad!"

As we laughed, a question started to invade my thoughts. It was hanging over me like an ax ready to fall. I know what Megan said that night as she made her hasty retreat, but I was not that naive. Risking bringing the mood back down, I had to ask.

"Sarah... she's not at her sister's place... is she?"

The smile fell from her face. "No."

*****

Five different friends from church called me Sunday afternoon as they noted my absence from worship the past two Sundays. Megan and I never missed a week. Calls continued to come in, but then the number I dreaded the most appeared on my cell phone. On Sunday night, nine days after she dropped the bomb, Megan wanted to talk to me.

My voice revealed more than a hint of anger mixed with obvious pain as I gathered my strength and answered with a single word.

"What?" I could tell I startled her as I found myself trying to control my breathing. I really wanted to be calm, but clear.

"Ah... Ben. Can we talk?" Her voice was shaking. It was clear she felt the weight of her decision. That brought me no comfort or sympathy. My emotions were still very raw. The tension was thick through a few moments of silent pause.

"You've said it all in your letter. Hope you find what you're looking for... whatever that is. Although I thought we had the true love you kept repeating in that novel you wrote."

I could hear her breathing heavily.

"Look, Megan! I will always care for you, but for my own sanity... right now I don't think I can talk to you."

I heard her beginning to sob as I hung up. I had run out of tears. Her call gave me the opportunity to vent, and that felt good in that moment. I grabbed a beer, sat in my favorite chair, and willed myself to move on.