Two Broken Roads Ch. 03

"I think we have a plan." I agreed. "But if I don't leave now I'll never get up in time to do anything in the morning."

"Ben Hawkins!"

"Yes?"

"I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone!"

"Laura Wilson!"

"Yes?" she said with a giggle and a smile.

"I'm looking forward to telling you that same thing every day. And I'm anxious to show and prove my love every moment of every day."

After another long and passionate kiss, we reluctantly said our goodnights.

*****

Saturday unfolded just as we had planned. We were already a family. Hanna and Mattie had already captured my heart. Every day I was with them, the bond grew stronger.

And Laura? We both ached for the other. If we were near each other, we had to be touching. If we were out of reach, we still touched with loving gazes. I felt like a whole person again. The emptiness Megan left me with was now filled to overflowing. Happiness doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I had a joy so deep that I could feel it in my bones. And I could see the same in Laura too.

Then came Saturday afternoon. It was special in a different way.

Laura had to do some chores upstairs... laundry and such. It was raining a bit so the girls were inside. I got to spend quality time with each one.

Mattie was concentrating on her tablet, so Hanna and I worked on a puzzle together. The finished picture would be a large grouping of dolls. So, lots of colors and a very busy picture made for a stiff challenge. She was quite good at it.

We chatted about the puzzle for a while, then moved to other topics.

"Hanna, as smart as you are, I assume you like school?"

"Yeah. I like summer break, but I miss school and my friends. I get to see them once in a while."

"Do some of your friends come over?"

"Just a few that live near here. Amy and her sister Terri, you saw them out front one day."

"I remember!"

"They live the next street over."

"How about the boys across the street?"

"Yuck!"

"Sorry."

We talked about her dance school, and the friends she had there that were also in her class at school. She had friends at their old church but they lived too far away. She talked seriously with tears in her eyes about a friend at school, Cynthia, whose dad was mean to her. Cynthia and her mom moved to a secret place to hide.

"I pray for Cynthia every night! God will help her. I hope she moves back so I can see her again!"

"That's a good thing to do."

I wanted to lighten the mood a bit.

"So, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

"Not sure. I want to help people. Maybe a doctor or something. Mom says there's plenty of time to figure it out."

"You don't want to be a dancer?"

"I am a dancer!" she said trying to look indignant but stifling a smile.

"Yes! You are!"

"Dancing is nice, and you can make people feel good, but I want to really help!"

Hanna captured my heart so easily. I imagined Laura was just like her when she was little.

Mattie walked over with a box in hand.

"Hanna! Let's do makeup!"

The box was filled with play makeup.

Hanna shouted, "Mr. Ben! Can you help?"

"Are you allowed to do this without your mom?"

"Yep!"

She opened the box and carefully laid out the contents. Mascara, face powder, lipstick, the works.

"Me first!" Mattie shouted.

"Okay!" Hanna said. "Mr. Ben can do your cheeks. I'll put the lipstick on!"

I was out of my element, but it was fun. I tried to apply just a little to be subtle. The toy makeup wasn't forgiving enough to permit that. When we were done, Mattie looked more like she ran into a paint gunfight and lost.

"Mattie! You look so beautiful!" I said. She did, the makeup didn't. She looked suddenly shy, but happy with herself.

Hanna came up with a fun and devious idea.

"Mr. Ben, let us do you!"

I was afraid! Very afraid! But I was game.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Lay down on the floor on your back and close your eyes."

"Yeah... close your eyes!" Mattie added.

"Okay! Here I go!" I laid back. Hanna knelt to the side of my face. Mattie climbed up and sat on my chest. I was trapped and at the mercy of two lovely, kind, awesome, and devious little sweeties.

My face was being gently mauled. There was lots of giggling and snickering. Something told me I was getting the deluxe treatment. I felt makeup being applied all over. I didn't know makeup went on your forehead and ears.

Suddenly I heard roaring laughter above me. Laura came back down and was standing over me. The girls moved as I opened my eyes hoping nothing was going to fall in them and sting. The girls were rolling on the floor. Laura couldn't contain herself.

"Girls! You did a beautiful job!" She was spitting laughter as she said it.

"Okay! So... how do I look?"

"Real pretty!" Mattie shouted while laughing at me.

Hanna was more honest in her couched response. "Unbelievable."

"Laura... what do you think?"

"Wait here!" she ordered. She retrieved her phone and started snapping pictures.

"These will come in handy someday!"

"Can I see?" I asked.

"If you can take it!"

"Oh-oh." I had to laugh at the image. I was struggling to describe it. I went the safe route.

"Great job, girls! I've never looked better!"

They totally lost it. They were howling uncontrollably. Laura hugged the two girls and I was the target of their amusement.

Laura finally found a suitable description.

"You look like... like a deranged clown cheap streetwalker!"

The image on the phone verified her description. Every inch of my face, neck, ears, and forehead was covered with bright blue, green, red, and yellow. My red lips looked five times wider than they really were. I was hideous! Beautifully hideous! I was having a blast!

Calming down a little but still on the edge of busting out again, Laura suggested we move to the table for a snack and something to drink. She tried to quietly tell me that it was okay to go wash up, but I wouldn't dare. I sat quietly at the table as if everything was normal. Our 'lemonade and carrot time' was delightful as they tried to contain themselves. I loved it. Laura calmed her laughter enough that she could absorb our interaction. She saw it clearly. I loved these little angels, and they loved me. Being with them was as natural as breathing.

I finally got to wash off their artwork. Some remained and would only come off in the shower later. I'd wear it every day if I could always feel that way.

Later, dinner was pizza... always a good choice. After dinner was movie time. The girls changed into their PJ's and we all sat on the couch with Mattie and Hanna seated on either side of me, and Laura on the end. The girls were both snuggled into me, and I was in heaven. It didn't take long before they were both asleep in my arms.

Laura carried Mattie upstairs and I carried Hanna. That night, Laura and I took care of the prayers as we embraced while gazing at each sweet face. The girls were out cold. The prayers were not short. They were filled with thankfulness, loving requests for their future, and that they would grow with soft, teachable hearts. I was standing with the one I loved and talking to the Creator of the universe about the little ones He had put in her care... and I hoped they would be in my care too someday.

I considered what it meant to keep feeling closer and closer to Laura. How could I conclude that it couldn't get any better one night, and the next night it was better? Closer has so many dimensions. Closeness can be in care, in physical love, emotional love, one-mindedness, all our emotions, all our fears, and so many other dimensions. It's not singular. This was another dimension. Feeling close to her as we spoke with God felt like all the dimensions were pulled together. Yes, I felt... we felt closer than ever!

Laura and I returned to the couch. We were tired, overflowing, overwhelmed, overcome, and emotionally spent for the night. It was glorious. "You've Got Mail" was just starting so we put it on. I sat at the end of the couch and Laura snuggled into me. Tonight we didn't need to talk. We stared at the screen only half watching the movie we had both seen multiple times.

Laura laid her head on my lap and I stroked her hair, rubbed her shoulders and back. She was asleep in minutes and I just took in the lovely sight of her peaceful face. Even in sleep, she smiles. I pondered and reflected on how blessed I was at the moment and drifted off to sleep myself.

Laura woke up before I did around 3:00 AM. She gently brought me from my slumber with tender kisses all over my face.

"Ben, I'm heading up to bed. Do you want to head home or just sleep here on the couch?"

"Couch sounds good right now." I kissed her goodnight as she headed up the stairs.

I set my phone alarm to be up and gone before they all got up a few hours later. I wanted to be upstairs with her. Sex wasn't my intent. I wanted to hold her in my arms all night, and wake to her angelic smile. I put the image in my mind, and quickly drifted back into my dreams. I was at peace.

*****

Sunday was a repeat of the previous week. It started with church, then lunch with Sarah and Bobby, all of us went back at Laura's house for a few hours visit, and more conspiracies were brewing between Laura and Sarah. I loved it!

When Sarah and Bobby left, the day took a new twist.

As we waved goodbye to Sarah and Bobby, the girls went outside with some friends to play. Laura and I retreated to her formal living room and took occupancy in a large comfortable chair to talk. I sat down, and Laura sat across the arm of the chair and in my lap. The talk lasted less than a few words when our lips met. It turned into a blissful and deeply passionate make-out session. Hands freely wandered avoiding parts we weren't ready to explore.

Our bodies were in motion trying to contain the passion yet express it at the same time. Of course, her position on my lap and the grinding of our bodies together got an expected rock-hard rise out of me and it didn't escape Laura's attention. She just rolled her eyes and said, "I guess we'll have to talk about that soon!"

It was the hottest make-out session ever in my experience. Most of the time our eyes were closed, but occasionally mid-kiss we looked deeply into each other's eyes forming a connection right to our souls. It wasn't hard to tell that we both had an overwhelming desire to take our physical connection to its full potential, and yet we knew we weren't ready for that yet.

Then, something most unexpected happened.

The front door flew open as Hanna came in from playing. We quickly withdrew to just an embrace. Laura thankfully realized that if she got up that Hanna may see the effects of our passion in my lap. Hanna saw us and waved on her dash to the powder room. Laura and I chortled quietly and tried to look cool until Hanna went back outside.

Hanna, though, thought she'd visit a moment before returning to her friends.

Hanna walked in and sat across from us with the cutest look. "Mom... are you and Mr. Ben gonna get married?"

Laura seemed more prepared to reply than I expected. "Sweetie, it's a little new for us to talk about that. But Ben and I are really in love, so it could happen!"

Hanna got that impish smile as she addressed me. "I told you to be nice to Mom, but you don't have to kiss her until her lips are sore!"

We laughed as Laura asked Hanna, "You told him to be nice to me?"

"I have to look out for my favorite mommy!" Hanna beamed back. She lunged at us both with a huge three-way hug, turned to go back outside, and stopped in her tracks.

Hanna slowly turned back to us with a strange look while sniffing the air. "What's that smell? I don't remember smelling it before!"

Laura quickly explained to me that Hanna had a very strong nose for aromas. "What's the smell like?" Laura asked. "Like something burning?"

"No," she replied. "It's sort of sweet and musty. It's stronger close to you. Mr. Ben, are you wearing a cologne or something?"

I don't wear cologne. Suddenly... I knew what scent she picked up. I could see Laura came to the same realization.

"Maybe it's the new shampoo I used." I proposed in my haste hoping she bought the concept.

"Oh, Okay." She said with her normal giggle of enthusiasm. As she ran back outside she shouted, "You can go back to kissing now!" In a flash, she disappeared.

Laura and I couldn't contain our laughter. "Let me guess," I blurted out. "You're really wet right now, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah!" she responded like it was a dumb question while still laughing. "What did you think would happen with all that making out?"

"I'm leaking a lot of anticipation fluids myself," I admitted. "I'm surprised you didn't notice!"

"You really think I didn't notice the growing wet spot on my butt?" she replied cutely.

"I was scared Hanna was about to get an education that I wasn't ready to witness," I admitted.

"She knows the basics," Laura replied.

Noticing my slight look of surprise, she explained further.

"With all the sex these days in movies and TV shows, kids know a lot more than we did at the same age. Not every parent guards their kids against some inappropriate stuff, so you never know what she'll hear or what other kids will try to do. I decided I needed to prepare her just in case she came up against something she didn't understand."

"I never thought of that, but I see your point. I didn't have a clue about the facts until I was a few years older than Hanna. And even then, I had a lot of them wrong."

"Me too," she added.

"I have to say your wisdom and mom skills never ceases to amaze me. Everything about you, who you are, the attributes that define you, all your beauty, and that perfect body... It's no wonder I've fallen head over heels for you!" I sealed the emotion with a kiss.

"Perfect body?" she asked. "I'm glad you like it, but it's far from perfect!"

I knew this was the time to address some things. "Why don't we get some of the lemonade you made and sit at the kitchen table? I think Hanna has given us some things to talk about and, frankly, if we stay here making out any longer I don't think I can maintain my self-control!"

"Promises, promises!" she said with a sly smile. "But I think you're right. First, I better go upstairs and freshen up a bit so Hanna doesn't pick up our scent again."

"That sounds like a good idea." I chuckled in reply. I'm going to run next door, change out of my church clothes, and remove the evidence of a rather amazing making out session!

"Amazing doesn't begin to describe it!" she added. She gave me a peck on the lips and got up to take care of business. "See you in the kitchen when you get back!"

*****

About thirty minutes later I walked into the back door of Laura's house just as she poured two glasses of that awesome lemonade she made from scratch. A bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the table right next to where she placed the pitcher down.

"Hi, gorgeous!" I greeted. "Are you planning on us needing a little liquid courage?"

She grinned with a bit of a blush from my greeting. "I figured it may help at some point, depending on where this conversation goes."

"Good thought!"

She cutely plopped into the chair next to me. I didn't think she could do anything that wasn't cute.

"I can't believe how hot that was!" she sighed.

"How hot what was?" I asked feigning ignorance.

She hit me again. I was hoping she would. Then she put her hand on the back of my neck and pulled our faces together, so she could look me in the eyes from about six inches away. I couldn't see her mouth but the smile in and around her eyes could light up all of Chicago.

"Sucking face, you jerk," she said as if she were talking to a toddler. Before the last word left her lips, they were planted on mine in yet another electric kiss.

She pulled back after twenty or thirty seconds with her eyes closed and a blissful smile. She opened her eyes, then looking deeply into mine. I was lost in her gaze and yet felt more "found" than I had ever felt.

Regaining a little composure, I thought we'd better get the conversation started or we were going to go right back to make-out heaven.

"So... I guess we should start this meeting"

She grinned. "You always seem to have these kinds of discussions planned out! Where do you want to start?"

"Sorry!" I said feeling a bit sheepish. "It helps me focus, and that's really hard to do when I'm around you... unless you're the object of my focus... which is just about my every waking moment!"

There was that cute blush and smile. Dang, she was gorgeous!

"I have three main topics," I continued.

"Only three!" She faked her surprise.

"Sorry. Organized to a fault," I said, pointing at myself.

She laughed at me. "Don't be sorry. I love it!"

"Okay... three topics. The last we may not get to until the girls go to bed. So let me focus on the first."

I sighed and frowned a bit. She picked up on the fact that she may not like this topic.

"The first shouldn't take long and won't be a discussion. It's something I have to get off my chest that really bothers me." I wanted to look in her eyes, but I was a bit uncomfortable and I couldn't help but show it.

"Oh-oh!" She winced. "You know your feelings are really transparent! What did I do wrong?"

"Well," I continued a little hesitantly, "you kinda suck at taking a compliment."

"What?"

"Listen." I pushed forward. "I love absolutely everything I know about you. I really love how you can be so honestly humble and unassuming, and still maintain a beautiful confidence."

"I hear a 'but' coming!" she interrupted with a slightly worried look.

I continued. "Something happened... or someone in your past said something that has heightened some undeserved insecurities. When I look at you, I see the most perfectly beautiful woman imaginable. Your physical beauty stuns me every time I look at you. But that's not the whole story. I see a strong, deeply passionate, loving, intelligent, warm, and desirable woman. You're an awesome mother. And you have an inner joy that radiates like the sun even though you've had things in your past that could dampen that light if you let them."

Laura was misty-eyed and had an embarrassed look on her face, but she held her loving gaze into my eyes. I let her have a moment because I saw her struggling to say something.

"You make me feel so good... but my ex really did a number on me." She spoke softly as a tear trickled down. "He would pick apart any little thing to make me feel ugly or unfit for his attention... you know... like baby stretch marks... or he'd say my butt was getting fat."

I was tearing up myself as I kissed her hers away. She continued.

"But I think the biggest thing is... just how damned embarrassed I am with how he fooled me all those... all those wasted years!" she said with increasing emotion and volume as the tears flowed full force. "It has really worn down my image of myself... made me feel like something about me wasn't really good enough. I fought past a lot of that, but some of it lingers on and I can't shake it!"

I pulled her close and just held her, letting her tears soak into my shoulder. I needed to hear her say that.

Still holding her, I talked softly into her ear. "He was a manipulative misogynistic jerk. He used his powers and skills as a salesman and took advantage of a loving, trusting woman. Don't let him keep winning by holding on to the lies he told you."

"I missed some early signs of what he was... I guess I was caught up in... in the idea of love... and he was a good-looking man. Little things I noticed started to give me hints of a problem... I talked myself out of them. I should have seen it so much earlier!" She was clearly angry with herself.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes again. She struggled to look at me at first, then succumbed.