Two Broken Roads Ch. 03

"Look!" I said. "It's in the past. Don't let him hurt you anymore. He can't. He's in the ground! I can't force you to put it all in perspective, but I can suggest a thought that may help."

"What?" she asked.

"What he put you through was a price. For all the crap that surrounded him and that horrible experience, you now have two beautiful little girls that wouldn't exist otherwise. I know I'd pay a pretty high price for that reward. You need to make up your mind if they are worth it! If so, I think you can put the cost in perspective and accept it as paid in full, and maybe move on."

She clenched onto me as hard as she possibly could as she emptied what remaining tears she had. With every ounce of emotion, Laura touched my heart with her exclamation. "God, thank You for this man! I love him so much!"

We held onto each other for a good five minutes as she let the emotions pass.

"I never thought about it like that... but you're so right, Ben! Oh my gosh. Why didn't I realize that before?"

When she eventually pulled back into her seat, I said, "Stand up!"

She looked at me like I was a little weird, which I was.

"Let me see your tummy," I asked. Now she was sure I was weird. I pulled her toward me, raised her top below her bra, and started kissing her stomach where stretch marks should be. Frankly, I didn't see any.

"I don't see any stretch marks, but if they're here, I'd see them as beauty marks that are evidence of the miracle of your two little girls!"

She giggled as I continued to kiss and hit a few ticklish spots... accidentally on purpose. Then I looked up at her and said, "Turn around." I could tell she caught on to what I was doing.

She turned, and I grabbed both cheeks and started to kiss them as well. "I don't know what you had back here before I met you, but you must have had a really skinny butt, 'cause this is just right!" She laughed, turned, and quickly gave me a kiss. I loved the kiss, but I wanted to fondle her butt a bit more.

"You're an amazing guy!" she sighed. She slowly sat down and looked me square in the eyes again.

"I've pushed others away since my ex. I didn't know if I could ever trust another guy to let go of my deepest emotions. What I've experienced with you, learned about you, how the girls respond to you, and what Sarah, Bobby, and others at church have told me... I trust you with my life, Ben Hawkins. I'm giving you my everything. You've got the keys to me!"

I had to kiss her, and I mean deeply kiss her as I let some moisture escape my eyes. As we parted lips, I told her, "My love, you have me as well. I may have those keys, but I swear I will constantly work to keep earning them!"

We softly kissed, and I felt satisfied that we were almost done with this part of our talk. But I had to add one more point.

"Please, please, please... when I tell you that you're the most beautiful woman in the world, believe what I say. Even if you think I'm the only one who sees that, believe it. I should be the only one that matters anyway. But if you didn't notice every guy watching you and drooling at the restaurant and the jazz club, you must have had blinders on."

"Are you serious?" She seemed surprised.

"Oh yeah!" I replied with a laugh. "I thought I was going to have to fight for you that night! But it's deeper than that for me. Physical appearances change with age. I hope we get to grow old together, and if we do I know you'll still be the most beautiful woman in the world... because I see all of you... the real you... the outside and the inside... the depths of your being. And I love it all!"

We began to kiss but were quickly interrupted by the door opening and two thirsty girls running at us. They both ran at me with a hug, which I think both thrilled and slightly upset Laura. But then they made up for it by running into her arms. The girls and I had become very close in a very short amount of time.

The girls gulped down some lemonade, we discussed ordering Chinese delivery for dinner, which was met with cheers, and off they went back to playtime.

Laura let out a big sigh of contentment. "So, what's next on the agenda?"

"First, I just have to say, that you're without a doubt the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on!"

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Thank you, Ben! Being with you certainly makes me feel that way!"

She gave me a smooch and sat back quickly with a huge smile. "That was a test, wasn't it?"

We both laughed. "Yep! And you passed with flying colors." Another smooch followed. I couldn't get enough of them.

"Okay!" I said. "On to subject two and the one I really am looking forward to. We should talk about Hanna's question."

"I assume you mean if we're going to get married," she stated with amusement. "Can I take the lead on this subject?"

I was a little surprised, but pleased she was ready to attack this part of the agenda.

"The floor's yours, beautiful lady!"

She blushed. "Thank you!"

"I'm sure people think we're nuts even talking about it after only a few weeks. Heck, I think we're nuts."

I nodded in agreement with a smile as she continued.

"But something happened that first day we really met when I came over to you and the girls. I saw you having a great time with Hanna and Mattie and you ... you just looked... so content. You weren't humoring them... you were enjoying them. I felt like I was in a theatre and the three of you were in the spotlight. Then the most unusual thing happened. I never felt anything like it before. I felt like I was being pushed towards you... as if the hand of God was leading me right to you. Do you know what I mean or am I crazy?"

I know I had a huge smile and a few little tears as I struggled to make my throat cooperate enough to respond. "I know exactly. Me too!" I shortened my response to try and gain some composure. My voice was cracking. Her smile became overwhelmingly inviting as I pulled her into an embrace. I held her tight, so I could speak into her ear without gazing into her eyes because I didn't want to lose my loose grip on the emotions welling up.

"When you walked toward me that day, it was as if I was watching my every dream come to me in the most beautiful package I ever saw. You were glowing. It was all I could do to not run over, grab you in my arms right there, and march you to the altar. I guess we're both crazy but at least we're crazy together... and I know I'm crazy in love with you!"

We melted together as our lips locked with pent up emotion. We couldn't sit still. Our mouths and tongues met in frantic passion, constantly moving as if we were trying to climb into each other through our kisses. We mumbled words of love and thanked and praised God for answered prayers. This wasn't happening too fast for either of us. I had visions of our family life together and my emotions felt like Old Faithful - just shooting up in glorious relief to the sky.

My lips were sore, so I assumed hers were too. Hanna's question was clearly answered in both our minds. This was going to happen. More details would be fleshed out as we cooled down a bit. But right now, it was time to take care of ordering dinner delivery.

We sat back at the table after taking care of ordering dinner, and I reopened our discussion.

"What are your thoughts on timing? I mean, I haven't formally asked you yet so we're not ready to announce anything." I flashed her my most impish smile. "Assuming I ask, how long should we wait?"

"We could call the pastor now!" she replied half-joking. I pulled out my phone trumping her bluff.

"Put that away!" she giggled. "Let's be a little serious! Assuming we do this, I don't want a big wedding or lots of pomp and circumstance. Us, of course..."

"That would be good!" I said interrupting.

She continued. "Our immediate families, Sarah and Bobby and very few other friends... and that's it! Small, uncomplicated, a luncheon reception in the church hall, and I'll be the happiest bride on the planet!"

I flashed her an impish grin. "If I ask, then... this could be pulled together rather quickly!"

"Yep!" she happily agreed. "I don't need a hundred-thousand-dollar royal wedding! Our friends won't care if we have steak or sandwiches. We want them there to share our joy, and spending ten times more than is necessary isn't going to make it more memorable or more meaningful!"

"I'm with you, sweetie. So, for now, we are thinking alike again! At this rate, I think we'll get bored of each other!

She laughed. "No, I don't think I'll be bored!"

"So, changing the subject just a little but closely tied to wedding stuff." I squirmed a bit. "Sex!"

Her face erupted in an impish smile. "Do you mean we should head upstairs?" I knew she was kidding, but I wanted to take her offer for sure.

"Don't tempt me too much. I am just a weak-willed man!"

A little laughter ensued. "Actually, you've shown admirable restraint. I'm both glad you have, and a little sorry!" She smirked.

I pondered that statement a moment with a smile. "Look, I know in our society most people would assume we've been doing the human pretzel for a few weeks now to make sure we've test-driven the car before we bought it!"

She roared in laughter. "Human pretzel? Where do you come up with these things? It does paint a picture though, doesn't it?"

I had to chuckle. "Yeah, it does. But trying to be somewhat serious... something I'm failing at... but that's okay... I need to be clear on where my head is, and I think... or at least hope you feel the same way."

"Okay. Seriously now." She chuckled and blushed.

"This may sound like we're teenagers living at home, but I think it's important. I don't believe we should make love until we're married."

"It hurts a little to agree, but we're on the same page." She seemed both sorry and relieved.

"I know about the hurt. Something's turning blue!" I laughed as she snorted a giggle. "I mean, I know neither of us are virgins. We were each married once, and both have only had our first spouse as a lover. But it's not about that. The first time we make love I want to look in your eyes and feel us finishing what we agreed to in our vows. I want that bond to be felt at that moment. Just like the rings will be a symbol of our eternal bond, the first time we make love is the physical and spiritual manifestation of that bond. We will be one!"

She leaned over and kissed me. "Yes, we will!"

Again, we embraced. There was no room for anything between us. I could swear we were melting into each other. We had a path to walk together.

"This is really happening!" My heart was leaping for joy.

"Thank God! Yes, it is!" she agreed.

The doorbell rang as dinner arrived.

"The fun talk starts when the girls are asleep!" I said with a near evil grin.

"I can't wait! But I guess we'll have to." Her pouting smile gave away her thoughts.

*****

Dinner was great. All of us agreed that Chinese was our favorite restaurant food. We talked about the next week being the Fourth of July weekend. Both sets of parents would be here along with Sarah and Bobby for a picnic. Laura and I both talked to our families about each other. I think my mom knew we were getting serious very fast, but even she would be surprised how close we had become. Neither of us had actually met the other's parents yet, so this would be quite a revelation. It made us both a little nervous and a little excited.

After dinner, I played on the floor with Mattie, then lost some more matches of Super Mario to Hanna. Finally it was bedtime for the girls. For Laura and me both, it couldn't have come quick enough. We had some unfinished business. And the subject was of great interest to us both.

Once stories were finished, prayers said, and both girls tucked in, Laura came back down to pick up where we left off. What I didn't count on was she had changed into comfortable shorts made of the same material used for sweatpants, and a loose-fitting tee shirt. I prayed she had on underwear, or I was going to have a really hard time. And I meant that in both ways it could be taken!

I was in our favorite talking chair in the living room. I ogled her and I was probably drooling. "I didn't think you could get any sexier, but... WOW!"

"You're so cute when I make you blush!" she responded. "I figured I'd get comfortable. So, you like?"

"I'm assuming you're getting on my lap again, so I think you'll know my answer shortly!" I said chuckling a bit.

Once again, she sat across the arm of the chair onto my lap. She rose up slightly as she smiled. "I think you may want to reposition my answer a bit. That's gotta be uncomfortable!" She giggled.

"Ooh!" I uttered as I complied with her suggestion.

"This is a good place to talk quietly so what we say doesn't float upstairs," she noted. "Plus, I like the unusual padding!" She chortled as she gave me a kiss. "So, where do we start?"

"I don't like the sound of ground rules, but I can't think of a better phrase." I proposed. "So here goes! We already agreed we don't what to make love until we're married. I do think, however, that we're not going to contain some of the passion we both have. I know I don't need to give you a test-drive... and... pardon how demeaning that may sound... I don't mean it that way."

"I understand," she agreed with a smile and a kiss.

I continued. "I've learned something important about you pretty quickly."

"Do tell."

"You are one hot woman."

She laughed so hard she almost fell off my lap.

"Seriously, the kisses we've shared... you are a very passionate and warm lover. We can talk through some likes and dislikes tonight, but I don't want to spoil the fun of getting to know every inch of you. I want to know what turns you on, what you don't like. I mean everything. Once we're married a day or so, I hope to go exploring, giving you a full massage, kissing every square inch to map out in my mind how to treat you right!"

"You do know you're getting me really hot right now, don't you?" she asked. "Every square inch?"

"Unless there's territory you find off limits!" I answered.

"Nope! I just wanted to be able to hold you to that promise!" she exclaimed with a laugh and kiss.

"Trust me! It's more than a promise. It's a strong desire I'm fighting with every ounce of my strength."

"Okay. So, what are these ground rules, and have we broken any yet?" she asked.

"In my mind, I've broken them all!" I said as she let out a laugh I thought would wake the girls. We shushed each other with giggles as I continued.

"I feel a little weird even proposing rules, but I'm more comfortable knowing them rather than crossing a line one of us doesn't know exists."

"You are weird, but I like that about you." Her grin urged me to continue.

"I think there are times hands will roam. As long as the 'roamee' is okay with what the 'roamer' is doing, I think that's all right. I've tried to understand the biblical limits. As far as I can tell, fornication is the act of making love, but I'm not sure about touching, caressing, or even fondling. I don't think... I don't feel that crosses a line."

"I'm good so far!" she noted. "What else?"

"I think the key is to avoid what could lead us past the point we agree on. So... I suggest we vow never to climb into a bed together, even fully clothed."

"Okay. What else?"

"I think we should agree to stay clothed. Fondling over clothes, and maybe even under is okay with me if it's okay with you! I'd like us to leave the reveal of what's beneath to the excitement of a wedding night. I think roaming hands will tell a lot but taking in the sight for the first time is something I want to burn into my wedding night memory.

"I'm good with that too."

I could tell she was heating up from this subject.

"I guess the last is something of a foregone conclusion based on our agreement so far. Bringing each other to climax when it feels natural is... well... I'd like it to be, you know, okay!"

"Since I'm well on my way and, judging by the throbbing I'm sitting on so are you. I'm okay with that too!"

Our agreements were sealed with some very heavy kissing. Sensing a need to avoid a real mess below, I asked her if we could have a little wine. She agrees thus letting me recover before it was too late from her not-so-innocent lap dance.

When Laura returned I had a pillow on my lap to dampen the friction. She laughed looking at the pillow and the face I was making tried to convey the simple message: "Give me a break!" She sat back on my lap and was kind enough to leave the pillow.

"What's next?" she asked.

"We have the pre-wedding rules in place. Can we talk a few post-wedding guidelines?"

"The floor is yours. I can't help but be curious and hope you're not proposing we cut any fun stuff!" She smiled.

"No way! I'm counting on the fun stuff! But there are a few concepts I'd like us to agree on to be sure our communication is always open."

"Fire away!" She was having fun with this and making it easier to go forward.

"Here we go. I'm a firm believer that after we're married, our bedroom is for intimate bonding, mutual pleasure, and good ol' fun. So basically, if we both want to do something, as long as we agree, and it only involves the two of us... it's all good! If we want to swing from the chandelier, no problem. What do you think?"

She put on the impish smile. "Not sure about the chandelier, but whips, chains, and all that nasty stuff is okay?"

I laughed back at her. "If we agree, sure. Although I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that! I know you're kidding, but there could be things you or I are curious about and want to try. It's our playground for each other. I'll warn you ahead of time that I don't think I could ever be okay with something that hurts you. I mean, a little spank or something maybe, but please don't ask me to hurt you. I'm also not comfortable calling you names like slut or whore the way some girls seem to like. I have trouble separating the attitude of respect that I will show you every moment from the nasty role play that would make me feel like I'm demeaning you. I won't tear down the woman I love with unloving words."

"Don't worry," she added. "I'm not into pain or nasty talk, but a little spank could be nice!" The imp was back, but I was pretty sure she meant it. I decided to keep that in mind for some appropriate time.

"Good. That's a huge relief for me. If you have a dungeon in the basement, I may run away screaming!" We both giggled. "The key for me is that we aren't afraid to talk about it. Please don't keep any hidden desires. I want to know, I may even like it too, and no matter how crazy it seems, I love you and want you to enjoy our private and intimate time together!"

"That sounds like a winning formula," she concluded. "This is fun just talking about, and I take it you have more?"

"I'm just getting started!" She pretended to groan. "Oh, come on. You like this," I commented as she laid her head on my shoulder and smiled.

"Keep going lover boy!"

I was liking this, too.

"Laura, I want you to promise me you will never, ever... fake an orgasm!"

She sat up with a start. "I didn't see that coming!" She smiled and started hitting me. "What would make you think I'd do that?"

I defended myself. "I didn't... I didn't! Please don't hurt me!" I feigned fear.

"Well," she added. "Don't you fake it either!" I nearly dumped her off my lap as we laughed uncontrollably.

"That would be quite a trick!" I added. "But seriously," as we tried to contain ourselves, "life isn't like the movies. We may not always climax together. If for some reason I've spent myself before you got to your blissful release, I will be sure to finish the job in some other way—usually involving a lot of tongue work."

"Even if your stuff is flowing out of me? You don't find that gross?"