All Comments on 'Two Places at Once'

Another great story. Thank you.

Good story!

5

This could have been a good story but for the ending - it left so many open ends ONLY implying the outcome. Did the company fail - Ponzi's do that? We are to assume Ellie & Bill were found guilty? Assume he auto-divorced Ellie due to +5yr prison sentence? We assume he married Jenny and lived happy ever after with most of his viewable burns fully healed? What happen to the company/employees while Rick could not work/guide?

/

The Ausy's took it on blind faith that he would never Rick would never do this to himself to draw attention away of his poor/illegal dealings or setting up Bill/Ellie? And especially since Rick found all this deal evidence and gave it to authorities?

/

3.4*, Hooyah, could have been and was on track for a 5* except for the above issues - just too many holes.

Another well written and entertaining story. Five from me.

I wanted to like it. The plot was well conceived, but the writing and dialog missed the target. Attempts at humor were okay, but did distract at times. There wasn’t any emotion in the writing. It felt like Joe Friday’s “just the fact, mamm.” Lots of open ends. Too much telling, and not enough showing. Sorry. Keep going, though. If you can come up with good plots like this, it’s worth the effort to improve.

This may have been a rewrite. Zip drive???

1 star and no comment.

Love the story. AAAAA+++++

The Aussies make a beautiful mashup of the English language…EMTs are called Ambos, sandwiches are sandos, football (Aussie Rules style) is called footie (and soccer is called bath soccer and footie…it’s such a joyful and casual mishmash and I love to hear it and read it.

The story had an excellent plot that was somewhat let down by the grammatical issues (the sentence about the tow strap stands out, I stopped and tried to read it 3 times without exactly understanding what was being communicated. I do agree that the style was a bit clipped, and could have used a bit more fleshing out and descriptive emotion. Overall, 4/5, and I look forward to your future efforts!

It must be the Australian sun..........

Well written and entertaining story but in the end, there were a lot of unanswered questions mainly as to what happened to Jenny and Richard and Richards company when it was all said and done. 4/5

Really like ur stories. Hard to find good Aussie authors on Lit.