All Comments on 'Two Ugly Kids'

Some will see it coming but most will get blindsided - tighten up the ending a bit and snare even more of your readers.

If he only waited a few more days he would have found out that they were his kids and the ugly mess he created could have been avoided.

I like the story, well done. The author had the reader ready to burn the bitch at the stake.

Thanks for the good read.

The theme is well developed and the guy was lucky that he did not go off the deep end! Well done!

I admit I am not that much of an expert on fake tits but surely after 11 years the husband would have a pretty good idea that the wife was surgically enhanced. As for forgiveness? for keeping a secret like this? A marriage should NEVER be based on lies. At least it shouldn't be. But reading these stories and the comments made by readers I guess lies and secrets are part of marriage life. Sad really.

Some kind of warning that the kids might be a touch homely would have been the polite thing to do, but no deal breaker.

Clever, but you overplayed your hand when you included a boob job. No way he could have missed that action. Take it from someone who has been there, they DO NOT feel real.

Had me going there for a moment...

You had me going there for a while. A good read that has that surprise ending.

What a twist thouroughly unexpected

You had me going to the last. I was all caught up in the husband's anger. When I read about the lesbian part, I was mad at you. Gee, another women hater I thought! Even seeing the end of the text, I almost stop reading, ready to give you a big 1. Glad I spent the next few seconds to finish the story.

What a twist...now lets see him fix it with her!

Great ending

Slowly cooked well done. Can we ask for a new category? An April's fool one? I love the last sentence: My lovely kids are the spitting image of their mother!

great story had me fooled..keep up the good work

Out-friggin-standing!

Any reader who claims they saw that end coming is a bigger liar then she was.

You used all the "classic" lines to pull us in (did it for me, make me feel special, etc.)

Having the Boss with similiar features to the kids was a great "Red Herring" to throw everyone off......or was it?-if you write a part #2 and turns out the Boss is the father of the kids-you will have scammed us twice!

Always look forard to your reads-Thanks

This one sure is, a "5" from this old man!

Thanks,

MGM

. . . there is some stupidity growing and it just popped up in flower. Sorry, I rarely leave a comment like this one, but this strains all bounds of credulity.

I did give the story a "5", but I really wouldn't want to read it again. This tale has to be one of the most unusual approaches to plausible results ever seen in this category. Wow. (Good writing. Just don't repeat this scenario, please.)

this is forced and controived... why didnt she just say of course the kids are mine. I had plastic surgery done.

How could he not know after being with this woman all this time that she was at one point ugly and had a LOT of plastic/ comestic suregry done?

why not wait for the DNA tst?

Great hairpin curve in the road.. Didn't see it coming. Thanks for the story.. Always enjoy your work.

Please ignore bob- nobbers comments ... At least you're male lead has a backbone, and doesn't have some queer little fantasy about being a creampie eating pathetic victim. Better yet, you put your stories in the appropriate category.

trying to be sneaky but i saw it coming. thanks for the effort and for not going where stories have gone before. looking forward to your next story.

that finally admits that every leader in his country is dumb like a nail. he never saw fake tits and all the other surgerys.

any dumber plot and you are forbidden

Great story and nice twist at the end. Didn't see that coming.

The story needs a sequel though in which he needs to fess up to his wife about his misguided anger and (s)he takes on the malicious rumor spreaders.

Nice twist!

Great story, a very unusual twist on a common theme. Well done.

After all, without asking her, he accused her of cheating, of deceit, of falsehood and all without a shred of proof, of evidence. Without any evidence he believed two people who were DRUNK. He showed his true colors, he doesn't trust her and all his professions of love were a sham. She needs to take his ass to the cleaners and get on with her life.

Brings up an interesting point though. I knew a girl who looked like Alf before her nose was fixed. Do future prospective husbands have a right to know there was major work done and children could conceivably not look like the new improved version? At what point do they need to come clean?

But (1) your narrator is not much of a man - quick to convince himself of the worst possible explanation (2) plastic surgery can do wonders, but this strains the limits of the suspension of disbelief

But I thought the twist was great - if the narrator weren't such a jerk and the secret a little more possible the story would be a lot better.

Why not just a nose job? If the wife had a Jewish princess type nose, and then a Jewish princess nose job, and she and the narrator were both from a part of the country - the upper plains states, for instance - where nose jobs are not part of a teenage girl's growing up (OK, a lot of teenage girls) and the kids both had Roman noses - you'd achieve the same result with a great deal more plausibility

I get most of it. She obviously had deep pain associated with her past and her appearance. I can understand her reluctance to share that information. A woman is far more concerned about her appearance than a guy. An ugly guy might decide to get a bit of work done but it wouldn't be such a big deal. For a woman it might define her whole self vision. <br><br>

However, HE is an idiot. It makes sense he would have doubts even to the point of wanting a DNA test. But to work up such hate of his wife with absolutely no evidence besides the comments of a couple drunks? Wow. Of course without his overreaction there would be no story but it seemed a bit contrived. And he doesn't notice that she has had plastic surgery? Talk about obtuse. The person on the street might not notice but there are scars and breast implants are obvious. But most of all, why not just TALK to his wife about it? If she blew him off, then get the DNA test. Again, that would have been a boring story. Sigh. I keep wanting characters to act rationally and of course they don't and they have problems, just like real life. <br><br>

Anyway, a fresh approach and that is always nice to read.

You really did a different story line with a great twist, THANKS FOR A GREAT READ!!!!!!!!!!

but husband really is a bit too hasty to make the story truly believable. Better to draw it out, more doubt, etc. As for surgical scars, if properly done they are a lot less noticeable to a man in love. And only onew very minor quibble: Talking about somebody else kids.|No, somebody else’s kids....

Great set up and great tension. The release at the end provided a warm laugh. Really clever story. Thank you like good wine.

Love the twist!!

Very nicely done.

Nicely done!

Now THAT was truly an ending I had not seen coming. This gets points from me just because I hadn't seen this before.

Excellent story!

Truly a unique twist. Very well done and very fun to read, too bad they limit you to only five stars here.

It was a very good story. Nice twist at the end. Thanks for sharing it!

Wat a load of horse cock plastic surgery may be that good in another 100 years time...

Did I say: "AIN'T NO WAY!"?????

Arrrrgh! That was a dirty trick!

Very nice twist, and enjoyable read!

Wife:I think you are having an Affair

Husband: What would ever make you think I was cheating on you

Wife: The Kids look nothing like you!

Thanks to Rodney Dangerfield for that old joke & thanks to the author for a fine tale!

Nicely done.

and it is worth a lot. TK U MLJ LV NV

This last is a bit shaggy doggish, but the explanation -- among several innocent ones -- did come as a surprise. The others seem unrelenting about human frailty and ways of coping without vastly increasing the sum of human insecurity and misery -- it's as if one sin condemns to Hell forever, no redemption, no mercy, no purgatorial suffering, no forgiveness, just stiff principle braced by ego. You're a strong writer -- try one story where remorse, contrition, penitence, all that Catholic -- and given Ireland's history of relentless grudge-keeping, utterly un-Irish -- stuff for dealing with mere mortal men and women come into play. I mean forgiveness, absolution if you will when earned by suffering. Or you will never get as profound as your gifts allow, as a storywriter.

Yes, I did the "anon" comment today on your multiple-part story, where I call your hero a stiff prig (sorry, forgot the password I use here when commenting there). You can do better.

A very clever turnaround. Kind of a reverse Beauty and the Beast. Thank You.

Very original, highly creative. I loved the plot twist. Super,super. Fantastic Ending!!

Where is he ever going to find a crow big enough to get his ass out of deep shit? Probably should have waited the second week. LOL Thanks Wine. Another good one regardless of what Hairyinviagra says.

I didn't see that one comming. Very creative. 5 stars for imagination.

Nice twist!

how the hell is he going to tell the wife why he thought the way he did. ok he could say the kids did not look like either of them.

but definitely a loving wife a real loving wife.

A TLW story with nice twist.

The idea was fairly clear but the all the statements were well worked in order to

be ambiguous. Good work!

I gave it four stars - I felt the ending was too brusque for five.

I did NOT see that coming at all. Great Twist.

great twist...I didn't see that one coming at all. THAT is a great accomplishment in and of itself, but to add a good story to it...an easy 5 star story! Keep on writing them like this one...please! Lol

Nice twist in story: born an ugly duckling and grow up as a swan with little help from 21 fist century medicine ..... Now I wonder about the supposedly beautiful starlets we rave about.

That's something that would never have occurred to me. Very unique. An excellent tale.

Well written and right to the end i didn't see the sting. Thanks for the good story and the smile at the end

The test results.

What were the test results?

The test results don't matter for this story, but we can surmise that they were positive and that he is the father of both kids.

Wonderful twist at the end. Thanks!

That story was outstanding - no thought of the outcome even began to form that time -

Excellent work and thank you for sharing it -

I love it when they do; you did and I loved it. Great story!

But that was a good ending twist. Well done.

Didn't see that coming. Inventive, original and a good read.

Well, only some of the commenters seem to NOT have read certain parts of the story. Hubby does NOT ever accuse Sweetie of fucking around on him. His grinching at her IS based on his BELIEF that she got preggers twice by another guy! However, his accusations can be heard (as she does) as being about facts she should have shared with him. GoodWine was very careful about leaving Hubby that out!

I enjoyed being fooled until I saw where Sweetie was going with her responses to Hubby. It was cleverly crafted so each partner's comments were factual, but kept the other believing the comment fit with that partner's misconception!

5*

The secret didn't matter in the end. All that mattered was love and being faithful.

Very smart :)

Omg that was hilarious

This one was for all the men and women that walk out on their spouses without talking to them. Sometimes, things are NOT what they seem! Good one!

I really expected this to be another cheating wife story, and I'm giving you five stars just for the creative storytelling, as well as the clever writing tricks that someone's already mentioned. That was well done. If truly *loving* wife stories were much more common, I'd have rated this story down two stars for giving zero consequences to her disrespectful trustless husband who is dumb enough to not only call out his wife but walk out on her with zero proof to back him up other than the word of a few people who have no reason to know the truth. That's what trust is for. Trust, but verify. He broke that basic rule, and was prepared to walk out on her with nothing except a drunk and an asshole's word on it, adding in his own ignorance for a kicker..Has this idiot never taken a biology course so that he would have reason to be aware that sometimes physical characteristics don't necessarily match both parents? Jaysus.

Like I said, were these stories more common, I'd rate it down for failing to add any consequences for the dickhead husband, but I'd rather encourage more such innovative story-telling and a widening of the category into one where there really are "loving" wives who are faithful, and sometimes whose assholes husbands cheat or treat them like shit and get BTB for it. Too many people writing the same old dreck, and you did something different and did it well, even if I didn't like the male lead.

Congratulations on writing an engaging and interesting story.

~ $0.02+

Thanks

Twist at the end - very good. An original concept here. Well done!

What a twist, a true writer that can master a story line, I'm impressed. That's some serious brain power used to lay that out in pieces and then tie it all back together in an attractive, readable, can't put it down few pages. BRAVO!!

they shouldn't be surprised at the landing, TK U MLJ LV NV

Wow! That one caught me completely offguard! I never would have thought it was going to end that way.....heh.....

Nice'un, likegoodwine!

That was WAY out of left field! I like it. With all the evidence at hand, he could be excused for jumping to that conclusion. She never told him about what she had done. Some secrets can kill a marriage just as quickly as infidelity.

Luckily, this wasn't one of THOSE secrets. Now he just has to find a way to tell her that it doesn't matter to him, and that she could have told him from the beginning. You fall in LUST with physical appearance, but you fall in LOVE with the person inside.

5 Stars.

I have often thought about this. not on the extreme level of the cosmetic surgery done on the wife in this saga, but to those who have a monumental change they absolutely feel they must alter to be attractive. on this site it is usually an enhancement here or a reduction there but genes will come out in the next generation. the little surprises will appear in the kids as giant detached ears, a bulbous nose, or an absent or leno-like chin, because todays alterations will reemerge when the gene pool regenerates.

as a deputy on a long ago comedy show would say, "surprise, surprise, surprise".

.

Wouldn't that have been a kick in the butt! The drunk was partly right it seems. Good story and writing. Cheers!

Boy has he got a lot of splainin' to do. Good story. Enjoyed it. Cheers!

What a wonderful twist!

And though I'm usually a stickler for honesty, I think he has to keep what he thought to himself.

There is no need to burden her with his (now) unfounded doubts.

At the end! Really enjoyed the short story!!

This was a good short story I liked it .....a lot

I mean, what is he going to say, "since our kids don't look like either of us I knew you were hiding your plastic surgeries from me."...? And Just HOW would he have come to that conclusion if he never knew in 11 years...?

No, better to point out their beautiful children (and YES, to him they ARE) looked like neither of them (which IS true) and so he thought what would seem most likely to most people.

Will she be hurt he thought she cheated - not just once but at LEAST twice...? Yep. But it's like a story I read here about a guy who dumped his wife for doing porn, which he knew she did because he saw the pictures - only to find out for the first time... she had a twin sister she'd NEVER told him about.

Is it fair to fault someone for following Occam's razor when they don't know the more complicated theory IS accurate?

Though he maybe COULD leave out the fact that he'd already progressed to the point that he was already doing DNA testing...

More like is it fair to fault someone for not even knowing that there IS a more complicated theory.

People have been convicted of murder on thinner "evidence" than some of these stories present that turns up false.

i don't like a lot of your stories... i don't think you yet have the feel to flesh out your stories so that they become more than just "descriptions" of events... you can write.. but you don't seem to have the feel of a true "storyteller"... but that said... this one was excellent...

This was really a fun read. Thank you.

is a failure to communicate

by both of them

than a whoring wife.

A fun read.

I dont know why you stoped writing my friend :(

This story is really great.

I didn't see that one coming.

Didn't see that one coming! 5*

Been enjoying your stories - thanks.

There really are only so many "twists" in this genre and the same basic plots are rehashed over and over. -

So when you come across something new, it is a pleasant surprise.

Well done. 5 stars.

You really caught me by surprise with this twist. I thought for sure that she was a cheater. I guessed that here comes another cheating slut wife and that her reasons would be the usual...from the 'cheaters' handbook'. I was actually surprised and glad that she wasn't a cheater and had a novel reason for not telling him about her secret.

Thanks for a very twisty, but enjoyable, story.

Perfect twist.