All Comments on 'Tybalt and Juliet Ch. 09'

The non-sexual story arc has now resolved, and we’re still waiting for the erotic part of the story to finalize. Feels sappy and disjointed.

Hello to "SpindleTop" (the author of Tybalt and Juliet) and to anyone else who may read this post.

I generally like this story and its development, but I would like to say a few things (at least 1 in response to the comment by an "anonymous" fellow reader):

1) I somewhat-disagree with "Anonymous": while I agree that this series is very much toward what might be called the extreme "romantic" end in writing style (or "sappy", as my fellow reader calls it) , I'm not sure that this is a bad thing. (Although I'm not quite sure that (apart from the part of the story when Jake was recovering) Jake and Amy need to be seen to say "I love you" to each other quite so often (?) (and must they say "I love you, Jacob Hardwick" and "I love you, Amy Norton" rather than just using their first names or simply saying "I love you"?) . )

About the "non-sexual story arc" having been "resolved": I'm not sure of that -- while the relationship between Jake and Amy (which -- if I have read carefully-enough -- is implied to be one which will be a solid partnership/romance for years to come) is "back on track" at the end of this installment, I think that there are certainly some "non-sexual" parts of the story arc to come (not least what they will do to not let each other drift apart when/if they actually are geographically separated when they (in the next installment or 2?) go on to university studies (Jake at Cambridge, and Amy at (University of London?) ) .

2) I (myself) felt that something has been *left out* of this installment (and/or the previous one) : while I realize that Jake's physical recovery and Amy's emotional recovery needed to be focused-on during the account of the summer after Ritchie's attack on Jake, why (after multiple mentions to Jake of Billy's unexpected (to Jake) role in keeping Jake alive after the attack (with more than 1 person assuming that Billy was Jake's "friend") is there no mention of Jake and/or Amy contacting and/or thanking Billy -- and trying to find out why he did what he did for Jake? (While the careful reader would have noticed that movement toward being friends (or at least not-enemies) happened at the Prom, it's not clear that Jake had noticed that this was significant before (umm...) persons after the attack assumed that Billy was a "friend" of his.)

(I think that *as the character he was created to be*, Jake would not only be curious to find out why Billy did what he did, but would feel compelled (being a kind and "sensitive" kind of young man) to contact and thank Billy (umm... -- before Billy goes way north to Durham, England to continue his education)... -- although I do *not* necessarily expect Jake and Billy to become "best friends forever" or such, I think that Billy's role in helping Jake survive Ritchie's attack should have resulted in some kind of contact and (probably) a connection of friendship "going forward" in their lives.)

3) As for the sex: I won't say much, but will say that readers who prefer sex scenes to "non-sexual" plot and character development are probably pleased that further advance toward the "First Time" has been made in this installment. : )

4) 1 other thing: I hope that (as the "Tybalt and Juliet" connections to Jake and Amy virtually-totally vanish after the 1st installment and the lead characters' names are certainly not "Tybalt" and "Juliet") , I hope that author "SpindleTop" will place a brief note at the beginning of all the later installments explaining the title (or at least advising that to understand the series title, reading (or looking-at) the 1st installment would be very-helpful-to-necessary).

To the author: Keep up the good work (but I hope that you will appreciate what I have said here).

Sincerely,

E./"nycreader" (in New York City)

Thank you to nycreader for his comments (and very detailed analysis) of the tale of Jake and Amy.

The ideas for this story began whilst watching Beauty and the Beast on a long plane journey a couple of years back (there was nothing else to watch, I promise). In a moment of extreme boredom, I thought it might be interesting to transplant the villain from his 19th-century village in France to a secondary school (high school) in 21st-century Surrey (England) and to follow him as his popularity declined as his fellow students ‘wised-up’ to his character and true intentions.

A few months later, I was kicking around an idea for a story involving a Tom Sawyer-type hero climbing in through the bedroom window of an 18-year-old schoolgirl called Claire. These two ideas jangled (along with many others) in the back of my head for several months. Then in the Spring of this year, I stumbled across a box of memories, which included a programme booklet and a set of photos from one of the school plays that I’d acted in (Romeo and Juliet). From then on, the bones of the story slotted into place fairly quickly, with Ritchie Gasson as the leading man. Jake breaking into Amy’s house in Ch 01 fitted nicely with Romeo climbing up to Juliet’s balcony and Amy losing her key at the cast party, seemed a good enough reason for Jake to need to get the ladder out.

For Ritchie’s character, I tried to be fairly faithful to the original 1991 animation of Beauty and the Beast - he’s good looking (and he knows it), tall (two inches taller than Jake), vain, arrogant, intelligent (but not quite as clever as he thinks he is) and with a disgusting attitude towards women. When we first meet him at the age of eighteen, the Head Boy's star is already on the wane - his fellow students are turning against him and his application to Oxford has been rejected. He’s become infatuated with Amy (herself rejected from Cambridge), whom he regards as a kindred spirit, but perhaps also a soft target as the ‘new girl in town’. Of course just as he claims his conquest, his old nemesis, Jake, (who has always seen through his bullshit) turns up to thwart him.

The way the fight plays out between Ritchie and Jake after the Prom, is also inspired by the 1991 animation. (The attacks in both stories follow a dance between the hero and heroine - hence the timing of the Ritchie-Jake confrontation after the Prom.) Both villains choose a knife as a weapon, and the initial skirmish results in Ritchie, who has been knocked to the ground, being released by Jake and told to ‘fuck off’, just as the Beast releases Gaston. (Gaston pleads for mercy, but I didn’t feel this worked for Ritchie vs Jake.) Both heroes are attacked for a second time from behind (very soon afterwards) - which underlines the cowardice of the villains. The second attack begins the Beast's transformation back into the Prince, but sends Jake unconscious to hospital.

Every good villain needs a henchman, and this is where Billy comes in. I don’t want to say too much at this stage, but his character will develop further in the chapters ahead. I appreciate nycreader’s comment that perhaps Jake should have reached out to Billy earlier and I did agonise for a long time about when it was best for a conversation between the two to take place. (They will talk very soon, I promise.) My justification is that the Police would have forbidden the witnesses to talk to each other about the ongoing investigation - Jake certainly would certainly obey that instruction, just as he has followed the advice of his doctors to the letter. Jake is well aware that he owes Billy a great debt of gratitude.

And so to Amy. Her character is very much inspired by Juliet. When the story begins, Jake assumes that she’ll soon be in a relationship with Ritchie (and is being encouraged down that route by some of her fellow students). Similarly Juliet’s parents intend for her to marry Paris at the start of the play, (and although she’s reluctant, she promises that she’ll try to love him and to fulfil her parents wishes). A commenter on an earlier chapter noted that Amy was often the instigator/leader in her sexual encounters with Jake (I'm well aware that they're both still virgins at this point) - similarly, when it comes to the consummation of Romeo and Juliet’s marriage, it’s the latter who sends the Nurse to find her husband so that the two can sleep together. One final detail for now - when Amy talks about her orgasms, she mentions stars - directly inspired by Juliet’s line “cut out in little stars”, to describe sexual ecstasy.

There are more Shakespearean references and inspirations, but I will stop here (for the moment) so as not to spoil the rest of the story.

As for the sex…

“Come, gentle night, come, loving black-browed night,

Give me my Romeo, and when I shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars”

SpindleTop

She better get the deed done before some Cambridge hottie shows him what he’s missing. Hand jobs are nice but nowhere as nice fucking.

And controlling much? She would not be my Juliet.

I like the storyline with the steamy stuff!

@Anonymous - Thank you for your feedback. Yes, I’m sure that Amy is well aware that she and Jake will be in different places by mid-September and that she does need to ‘get a move on’ to make sure that no Cambridge undergraduates catch her boyfriend’s eye!

I fear we must disagree over the character of Juliet. As Jake says in Ch 07, she is certainly not ‘a fairytale damsel-in-distress’. Yes, she’s innocent, naive and immature, and certainly at the start of Shakespeare's play she’s presented as quiet and obedient, but as events unfold it’s clear that she is strong-willed, stubborn and rebellious.

A few examples:

- It’s Juliet who suggests to Romeo that they marry (Act II Sc II - the ‘Balcony Scene’), not the other way round - truly shocking for an Elizabethan audience;

- Juliet disobeys her parents (Act II Sc V) and lies to them about where she has been (Act IV Sc II) - Amy is somewhat economical with the truth at times;

- Juliet decides to kill herself rather than marry Paris (she’s already married to Romeo at this point in the play) but together with Friar Laurence modifies the plan to fake her death instead (Act IV Sc I) - but don't worry, neither Jake nor Amy are going to die.

Also as I’ve written in response to a previous commentator, it’s Juliet who is the one who sends the Nurse to summon Romeo to her bed to consummate their marriage (Act III Sc II), so I don’t think I am being inconsistent by having her as a regular initiator/leader in her sexual encounters with Jake.

The broader issue of free will vs fate is one the ambiguities in the play that I think Shakespeare deliberately leaves unresolved. Are Romeo and Juliet are in control of their destinies, or has fate has pre-determined that they would fail. I’ve tried to hint at this myself in Ch 08, when Jake points out that a large number of people (including Jake and Amy themselves) have each made small errors, which together have conspired to produce “this tragedy”.

Finally, for me, Shakespeare’s intentions for Juliet’s character are perfectly summed up in the final two lines of the play:

- “For never was a story of more woe

- than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

The playwright deliberately reverses the order of the two protagonists - so we have Amy’s Jake rather than Jake’s Amy!

I think if Amy were to be a more passive character, she would have ended up being the girlfriend that Ritchie wanted her to be (and I suspect that Jake would not have been attracted to her in the first place).

Ultimately though, this is a story you’re reading for free on Literotica - don’t lose any sleep over it!

SpindleTop

Thanks so much for the backstory and replies to comments. It makes the story even better!

Reply to "SpindleTop" (our author here):

1) Thank You for your complimentary response to my perhaps-too-detailed (?) previous Comment -- and for your (rather-detailed themeselves) latest 2 Comments here;

2) I'm glad that there's a reason (not that you forgot) that Jake and Billy have not yet talked before going their separate ways when going to universities: Thanks for the explanation that the legal framework dictates that they not be in communication. (And I'm glad that you won't have to revise your work to get the talk between Jake and Billy into the story.)

3) I had no idea that the play Romeo and Juliet (which I read over 40 years ago when *I* was in secondary school (I forget whether it was "junior high school" or "high school" -- and in which grade; in any case, still *over 40 years ago*; my memory is hazy about many details of the play, but I did remember the name Tybalt) ) 's structure was so important as a guide to you in constructing this story (I did think that "Tybalt and Juliet" rather than "Romeo and Juliet" -- and Tybalt rather than Romeo "getting the girl" -- were clever/cute deviations from proverbial expectations (a "Romeo" getting his "Juliet").

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It's also nice that others have joined in the Comments discussion at this point.

Looking forward to seeing what comes later,

E. in New York City ("nycreader").

I agree with "SirColin77": I like reading "SpindleTop"'s Comments about his (author's) perspective on the story.

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[different subject; also about the story:]

About the Comment about the story being "disjointed": this may have something to do with moving from a unified "voice"/point of view to moving between narration from Jake's voice to Amy's voice (the story continues as one story (the plot and characters move on), but the change in perspective may be a bit of a problem for some readers).

(I'm not saying that the moving between different perspectives is bad, but it *is* different from what was seen earlier in the story. [Shrug].)

E./"nycreader" in New York City.

Nice!

I didn't expect the envelope openings to be as exciting as you made them!

Good Job!