All Comments on 'Uber Divorce'

Great start, but the ending is too vague and doesn't make sense. If the husband is driving the Uber - why would he do that, and who would watch the kids? Is it is someone else, what does the card say? Sorry, but as is the ending doesn't make sense.

People can't keep their mouths shut!

5

ben drove taxi?

Ending made no sense, unless IF it was mentioned in the beginning that the husband was a uber driver, otherwise the last paragraph made no sense. Besides, who watches the kids while she supposedly "works" ??? She's a worthless cow and, both her and her lover, need to be destroyed by her clueless husband.... This rates as an below average tale of infidelity.

So the overexcited, no longer exciting lover not only announced his f*** plans, but also the identity of his f*** partner to the Uberist?

How and why did Ben become an Uberist? That seems way too connived.

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Normally you slide us a secret detail early in the story that, upon later review, flips the light switch on and creates a "Dang, Skippy!" moment.

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I haven't found this light switch yet, but I'll keep looking.

750 word stories are either incredibly easy, or incredibly hard, depending on the individual story. This one must have been hard, because it's obvious just how.much of that first draft got left out. When the first draft is 830 words or more, you almost have to rewrite it to chop it down. I say that because my guess is your first draft was probably around 900 or so; it took too much cutting, OR you cut the wrong sections. It might have been better to limit Tue discussion of the routine, of the over possessiveness, the desire of her partner to divorce and marry, etc. It might have been better to lay the groundwork for his driving issue (he's a bad driver... Perhaps they met because he caused an accident?) and the Uber gig (her husband did Uber to help pay for the new expensive replacement car?). There's a great story here somewhere.... But it might not have been a 750 word treatment story. One of your more standard 2-5k stories might have been better. Anyway, if you need a Beta reader, I already read 90+% of your work, even to going back and rereading you specifically in binges, so feel free to shoot me a line.... I seem, somehow, to write almost as many 750 word entries as regular one (even posted on me yesterday as a placeholder for my next "real* story, which won't be submitted until later this week or early next, depending on the last of the beat reader comments, which came in late yesterday evening and which I haven't yet had a chance to review). This isn't one of your bests, because its too cut, but generally, you're one of my top 15 writers to follow. Looking forward to your next effort.

Not gonna lie, I’m a bit confused about the ending and the Uber driver. That was Ben?

Telegraphed, and you owe us two words.

@Swordwielder, this 'writers' previous 750 word 'story' was about the same uber driver who was actually a lawyer moonlighting as an uber driver who caught someone cheating... yet another rushed ending, 750 words of rubbish is NOT a story, there is nothing here but blah, blah, blah.

Interesting, although there could be more of an explanation at the end as to why the husband was driving an Uber.

Again, the ending didn't make sense. Who was the driver, the lover's wife?

No Skippy...

no...

you didn't do that to us your fans.

ending like that...

no, no..

No content what so ever.

I won't grade this one as I didn't understand it.

Ok this was sweet! Talking Uber Drivers! Love it!

Thanks for writing!

Funny! 4*

Hubby was driving the Uber. Even for a 750 this doesn't work. So Mark brags about banging a married woman, how does hubby know it is his wife? What guy is going to brag ' get dude, I am going to bang this married broad Jan Jones ( or whatever her name is).

Did hubby know and arrange to take Mark there? Odds of that are pretty tiny to nonexistent without a lot of planning.

💤

I'm gonna assume that the ending has something to do with The Style Guys story of 5.22 called The Invisible Uber Driver about a lawyer who also drives for Uber on occasion. Only way it makes sense to me

A good effort but not really good reading .

Some ideas can be short and sweet , this wasn't one of them .

Made longer it would have made a decent story but as a 750 word I don't think it works so well .

Thanks for posting .

Not a good story. Nothing else worth adding.

Not your normal writing wish I had known what other card said

The story ended just as it was getting to the good part. It's like watching a movie with my wife, at the end, she asks "what happened after that?"

Good idea but a really bad development of this short plot and a too much rushed ending. So 3*.

Just when I thought the 750 crap fest had finally died out…

Well, that was a waste. Fell completely flat. Sometimes I think authors believe we can read their minds.

I'm guessing the Uber driver was Jesus Christ?

Becuase it would have to be God as Uber doenst allow drivers to pick up specific passangers or offer discounts

I liked where you were going with this one but you never got there. Seems like if I were a college prof

I would give you an INC.

Nice to see a mystery in your story, Could this be the ending to this story?

Great ideas, poor execution of them.

750 word stories are hard, contrary to what people think, requiring very careful editing and crosschecking of the story details. I would say retract this story and re-edit it.

Didn't really like it, gave it 3 stars. Just read another story just like it yesterday. Wasn't funny, or amusing, or shocking, I guess just life in this fucked up world we live in.

That was a fun little burn

The challenge with 750 word stories is not to just post 750 words. The challenge is fit a story within those 750 words. Anybody can do the former. You failed to do that latter.

With all due respect with the people that didn’t understand it (basically i think you are clueless) I figured it out right way…

4 stars. Nicely done.

Yes, it would have helped if it had been mentioned that the husband was an uber driver and it also would have helped id she had been at home instead of a motel.

Nice story. Didn’t get comments. Obviously Uber driver is her husband. But why would she marry him if he knocked her up? I’ve known a few cheats. They don’t stop.

I can see it coming. 5 stars. husband is a part-time Uber driver. Loved it. The Bear wants more.

The BEAR

I think Skippy47 could have stopped after word 102. She nailed the whole cheating "catch-22" when she said "now I realize that sex with my lover has become boring too"... It all becomes boring after a while! Only the good stuff evolves and lasts!!

You may have just told of a previously unknown way that a cheater was discovered !

Ride share apps - at least Uber, the last time I used it - you have to enter where you are being picked up *and* your destination. Obviously, the hubby/Uber driver recognized his own address on the fare.

There were enough words that were unnecessary to further the story to allow this tale to be tight. There is nothing to link Sweetie with LoverBoy’s destination! But Sweetie was likely to have driven there in her car. Hubby would recognize it in a typical cheap motel.

Usual 750 word ball of nothing. About as exciting as watching grass grow. Well maybe not that exciting.

Really? There are people who had to have it spelled out for them the driver was her husband? Why else would she faint at seeing the name? To a sane, logical person it was fucking obvious!

FTDS

boring SHORT story

I've no idea why it seems everyone likes this story. Sure, it has a good plot, but If she wanted to stop, why did she still have sex with him. She acted like a robot. BORING! Also, your 750 word story was just too damn short. Yes, everyone knows the Uber driver was her husband, but where was the BTB? Without the full BTB, it's only half a story. 2*

Surprise! Another cheating wife’s comfortable , happy world just ended.

Aah!! The Uber driver was her husband. What a shame this was a 750, it could’ve been a good story.

Scores 3/5

4 starts - this is pretty well written but begging for BTB part 2. Some 750s are self contained, this felt like a prologue.

We all grasp that the Uber driver is her husband. But that doesn't mean that her secret is out, nor give her reason to panic.. So why does she react so strongly to her lover holding hubby's business card?

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A: I've got it, Skippy. Two paragraphs out of an otherwise mundane cheater's muse were dedicated to How To End This Affair Without My Lover Telling My Husband About It Out of Spite.

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Because of the business card transaction, that likelihood just dropped dramatically. And if the lover actually realizes how he "lucked out", (apparently he doesn't currently know the name of his mistress' husband), he is guaranteed to make that call.

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Sorry Skippy, for ham-handedly revealing what you so subtly hinted at, but we just weren't getting it. I had to worry this one like a dog does a bone, but I knew you had left us something extra to be found.

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Dang, Skippy!

Nope. The "shit-eating grin" answers the question.

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Dang, Skippy: you hide your clues so well!

Would love to hear the btb when he husband finds out...

@Monagamous_Now

Ride share apps - at least Uber, the last time I used it - you have to enter where you are being picked up *and* your destination. Obviously, the hubby/Uber driver recognized his own address on the fare.

I don't think they lived at a motel.

@Anon: I think you're making this too hard and neglecting the earlier setup of the story.

Besides, the fare didn't input the lover's home address but his own. So the mistress'/wife's secret affair is still kept in a very fragile secrecy.

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We are jaded by reading Loving Wives. We wish for the cheaters to either get burned or at least discovered and lose everything good in life. However, Skippy has crafted an affair that the wife no longer wants but tragically cannot end. Therefore, discovery is inevitable.

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At least, that's my interpretation, and it seems to fit all the details provided.

Well done and clever. Now I’d like to read the rest of the story.