Ugly American Ch. 01

Wesley looked annoyed as he pulled out a paper from the folder, then held up the official looking form with a seal at the bottom of the page. "This is a notarized document from Anita that allows us to remove said contents from this dwelling. Now pleased step aside so my movers can do their job."

"Well Wes your name is not on the house deed, in this state a man's home is still his castle." I saw that Wes and his guys were making no effort to leave. "So I am asking you to take your hired beef minions, and get off this property before the police arrive."

Wesley just smirked. "Darrin I am an officer of the court. I am telling you to make way before I have you arrested."

I figured Wesley was bluffing so I held my ground. "Wes you're just a frigging real estate lawyer not a law enforcement officer. Unless I see a metro cop with a warrant, -you and your muscle headed boy toys can hit the road. I am not letting you in this house, -again I am asking you to leave."

The bigger of the two guys-a bald headed hulk spoke up. "Look Pal just get outta the way. I don't have time for this bullshit. Now move, before I make your ugly mug sorry you were born."

I tried to look amused as I addressed Wesley. "You better get your Conan the Barbarian clones home. They seem to be going thru steroid injection withdrawal, getting cranky."

This pissed "Baldy" off, who stuck his massive arm into my chest shoving me backwards. I stumbled from the porch back over the threshold, ending up against the wall inside the house foyer. As I regained my balance "Baldy" was in my face with his companion and Wesley right behind him.

Mustering more courage then I felt, I yelled "All of you get the Hell out of my house!"

"Baldy" just chuckled. "I had enough of your crap Pal." With that he reached out with a limb the size of a tree trunk grabbing onto my throat. "I'm just gonna make sure you stay nice and quiet until we leave." He looked over his shoulder at his buddy. "Gonna be a light workout from the looks of it."

Several thoughts went thru my mind, primary was I didn't want to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Baldy" had about six inches reach on me, I could only flail at his arm as he squeezed my throat. "Baldy" then pulled me in closer to him, getting a better grip, putting our faces inches apart. "Where is the big tough talk now Pal?" he hissed at me.

In a movement so smooth it even surprised me, I pulled a gun out of my waistband. Placing the barrel against the left ear of "Baldy" I pulled the trigger three times in rapid secession.

You ever fire a pistol off in a small tiled room? Damn it is LOUD. Sounds like a bomb going off. Both my ears rang as the gunshots echoed off the walls.

Several things occurred almost instantaneously. "Baldy" released his hold, falling to the ground screaming, while holding his head with both hands. "Baldy's" companion froze, then backed up against the doorjam with his arms raised shouting "Don't shoot man! Don't Shoot!"

And Wesley? He ran out the door. Wesley moved so fast I never saw him leave the house, just papers fluttering in his wake. Wesley may have had an urgent appointment as I saw his Lexus tear across the lawn. Wesley's car jumped the curb and sped down the street.

"Baldy" was still rolling around yelling while holding his head. A stain was growing at his crotch, with a foul order competing with the gunpowder smell. I barked at the other guy. "Down on the ground! Face first! Hands behind your Head!" He complied, which surprised me as I really did not know if that really worked-but a lifetime of watching cop shows was all I had to go by.

The gunshot echoes faded away. "Baldys" screams turned to moaning. I reached into my shirt pocket retrieving my cell phone, turning up the volume.

A tinny voice was coming out of the cell phone speaker. "Sir can you answer me? Sir are you still on the line?" It was the 911 operator I called before answering the door. "Squad cars are on the way. Sir are you there? Sir are you there? Please answer me!"

Hearing the voice on the phone "Baldy's" muscled buddy on the ground started yelling. "Send help! This Dude is Crazy! He's got a gun Man! This Dude is Wacko! He is going to kill us all!"

Just then my son AJ appeared at the top of the steps. "Dad what the FUC..I mean what the heck happened!" His eyes were wide, taking in the scene of his Dad holding a gun on two men.

"AJ go outside and wait for the police." My boy seemed frozen in place. "AJ!" I said sharply to snap him out his stupor. "Move now! Be careful not to knock over the video camera on the stair landing step."

AJ cautiously made his way down the stairs. He steered clear of the video camera I had set-up that was still recording, threading his way past the two weight lifters before darting out the door.

As you can guess it was tense when the Metro PD showed up. "Baldy" was transported to the hospital, while both Baldy's muscle buddy and I were cuffed, being placed in separate squad cars until things got sorted out.

I endured a short but uncomfortable time sitting in the squad car before a grinning Metro Policewomen pulled me out, before removing the handcuffs.

As I rubbed my wrists her partner held up an evidence bag with my gun in it. They both laughed, then she said. "You shot one guy, and held down another with a STARTER PISTOL full of BLANKS!"

I shrugged. "My wife Anita never allowed guns in the house once AJ was born. I'm a volunteer assistant coach for my kids track team-had to use what was available."

Now that the drama was over, my adrenaline rush was gone, I had to concentrate not to shake like a leaf. Addressing the female cop I asked. "When can I get that starter pistol back?-our team has a track meet on Saturday."

They could not stop laughing. "What a set of balls! Bald Baby Huey could have crushed you like an eggshell. But after that blown out eardrum, his one ear is only good for hanging eyeglasses."

"What happened to their boss Wesley?" I inquired.

"Mister BIG?" The older of the two cops replied with sarcasm. "He headed straight to the police station from here. I understand he has a very different version of events then what our 911 operator heard."

++++++

Wesley attempted to spin some fabrication about me forcing everyone into the house at gunpoint, trying to shoot them all down in cold blood. Anita backed Wesley up that I was a jealous jilted husband, most likely had gone bezerk. The Detectives let Wesley and Anita talk for a while, even got Wesley to sign a statement on his version of events. I would have loved to be there when the Detective played back the 911 recordings, and he had not even seen the video recording yet. As they say the big camera eye tells no lies, but I was keeping that to myself for the moment. Wesley invoked his right to remain silent after hearing the 911 recording. I understand Anita scurried off to get legal reinforcements and bail money.

What about me? Well I filed a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) against Wesley and Anita that same day with the help of the Metro PD. The TRO was only good for 5 days until the hearing, but it gave me some breathing room, a chance to think. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Wesley's Lexus parked in my driveway two days later. I do not know what to expect, but seeing Anita sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine was not one of my top ten guesses.

"What are you doing here Anita?" I asked.

"It is still my house too." Anita said motioning me to sit at a chair across from her.

I kept standing. "You should not be here Anita. What I meant is -did you not the get the TRO?"

Anita just waved her hand at me. "Oh do not be such a horses ass Darrin. If the judges youngest boy was not on same track team as our son AJ you never would have gotten that bogus restraining order."

"Anita you are free to make that argument at the hearing on Thursday. The Judge felt that you --thru your lover boy Wes was a threat to my safety. So please leave."

"His name is Wesley. Hear me Darrin-WESLEY." Anita was not in a good mood. "Did you really have to get him arrested? That was just spiteful. Do you know what kind of people there are in jail? He was there overnight, it was a real ordeal for Wesley."

If this was not so tragic I would have laughed out loud. "Gee Anita I am sorry-what happened? Wes not play nice with the other crooks? Did Wes forget to keep his back to the wall or did he drop the soap in the shower? Have run in with some "harden" criminals."

"This is not funny Darrin. Wesley could be disbarred." Anita took a drink, than seemed to calm herself before continuing. "Listen Darrin this has gone way too far. You think you hurt me by draining the accounts, plus canceling the credit cards?" She shook her head. "It was petty of you to have my cell phone turned off. Any judge is just going to make you give it all back, or force you to sell the house so I can get my fair share."

Anita leaned forward on the table. "Let's end this vindictiveness now, get on with our lives. Wesley has agreed to pay for the divorce plus handle the paperwork, that way we do not have to have any other lawyers involved. You can keep the house, while I will take what was in the savings plus half of your 401K. Agree to this so we can file under irreconcilable differences. You can have primary care of AJ, we'll share joint custody-but I won't pay child support. You will only need to contribute limited alimony."

I glanced down at my watch before answering. "Wow Anita I hope you do not think I am as dumb as I look. For starters Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse-it's just not going to happen. You make a decent salary plus whatever you get for screwing Wes." Anita made a face, but I continued. "I did not drain the saving accounts. Remember the prepaid college plan we enrolled in when AJ was born? I paid it off in full."

"Darrin!" Anita sputtered. "You had no right to do that! That money was half mine. I had travel plans for my portion!"

I leaned back in the chair. "Your signature is on the original contract with all the terms and conditions. I took the upgrade clause, opting for the full dorm package with health insurance and books, including fees."

Anita took another drink before answering. "Well Darrin we'll just see what a judge says about that."

I tried to keep a smile off my face. "Courts are concerned about what is in the best interests of the child Anita. What do you think a judge will feel is in the best interest of our son? Let's see-AJ's education on one hand, or you flying business class with your boyfriend on the other hand?"

Anita was nonplussed, gesturing around the room. "So I guess you'll be willing to sell your boyhood home here or give up your 401K. Makes no difference to me, but make no mistake after 12 years I am not walking away from this empty handed."

I took a breath before replying. "Anita I cannot stop you from leaving me and AJ to chase your dream of travel. But you are not going to trot the globe on our dime. Too bad you feel AJ's welfare is interfering with your exit strategy. You can walk away, run away, or hopscotch away because my 401K is already gone away. I used it to pay back some of the money Mom loaned us for AJ's medical bills. I see you are making no mention of the debt we owe."

"Darrin if you want the house you should shoulder the debt."

"Anita you know this house is not really ours don't you?"

Anita's eyes narrowed before she answered. "What are you trying to pull Darrin? Your Mom GAVE us that money for AJs bills. I know she also gave us the house to live in when she moved to Florida, that makes it joint property."

I got out of the chair, walked over to a drawer to pull out some papers, throwing them on the kitchen table.

"Anita my Mom was a seamstress-she did not have that kind of money. Mom took out a 2nd mortgage on the house so we could have money for AJ bills. This house.." I tapped on the table. "..is still in Moms name. We have been only paying the loan each month. Mom willed us the house when she passes. But when I spoke to her yesterday- she was in fine health, alive and kicking."

Anita drained her wine glass. "Darrin what has come over you? I know you are hurting, but this is for the best -why are you trying to punish me? You were never this malicious a person. We have been together for too long, to say nothing of all we have been through together. You are destroying all my plans, this being mean spirited isn't like you. It doesn't have to be this way, we...."

The ringing doorbell interrupted Anita. I got up to answer, returning with two Metro Police officers. They were the same pair that had been at the house days earlier. I had called the number on the TRO paperwork when I first saw Wesley's car in the driveway.

Anita was shocked when the Officers placed her in cuffs for violation of the Restraining order.

"Darrin" Anita said to me in a panicky voice as she was read her rights. "You are not going to allow the Mother of your child...your wife to be arrested are you?"

It was hard to see the women I once, and still loved be taken away, but there was nothing I could do. This was of her own making.

"Look at it this way Anita, you wanted to be a part time wife and mother --this is the part of the time you're not my wife or AJ's mother."

++++++

The hardest part was explaining to AJ that his mother and I would no longer be together. After all AJ had been thru this was difficult for him to understand. I tried to explain that our family relationship was not over, just changing. This did not seem to help. Thank God for my brother and his family, they had always been there for me and this time was no exception. While I was going thru all the B.S. one encounters in a divorce they took AJ on outings with their kids, generally kept him occupied. Thus giving me time to adjust, lick my wounds.

Several weeks had gone by, the hearing on the restraining order had been interesting. Anita's side had put a good spin on events but then her admitted relationship with Wesley, the 911 tapes, added to the Metro Police officers testament, led the Judge to extend the TRO for 60 more days to allow all parties to "cool off", as he had put it.

Neither of us had filed any divorce papers yet. I had had no contact with Anita for three weeks, until a member of Anita's law office called to ask for an informal meeting. I found myself sitting in a diner across the table from a grandfatherly looking man who's business card identified him as the senior partner in my wife's real estate law firm.

"May I call you Darrin" He began as I nodded my head. "I wish to see if we can come to some sort of resolution over the recent unpleasantness that has occurred." When I made no response he continued. "The firm is not at all pleased with the actions of one of our partners concerning your spouse. The resulting fallout has caused a distraction that is affecting both the quality and quantity of work product. Not to mention the non-billable allocation of resources we have had to devote to this disruption."

"Yes I am too very sad about the beak-up up my family and end of a decade plus marriage. It was heartless of me not consider the firms condition." I said dryly.

The man was unruffled, but tried a different tact. "I apologize Darrin, I did not mean to come off as uncaring. I have empathy for you situation. I have been married 42 years, and can only imagine what discomfort you must be going thru." He paused a moment as the waitress set down our coffee before continuing. "However I have the welfare of my employees to consider. Wesley was a top earner, so as distasteful as it is to you the disbarment, not to mention conviction of one of our senior partners would have negative consequences on innocent employees and their livelihoods, who had no part in this incident."

I started to speak but he raised his hand to stop me. "Now wait Darrin, Let me put all the cards on the table. I know you wish to seek some measure of vengeance on Wesley for his part in the ending of your marriage. I have understanding of that feeling. But is it not sufficient to know that Wesley's wife is going to inflict much more financial injury on him then you can imagine. I do not mean to be crude or caviler, but marriages end every day. Life goes on."

I took a sip of my coffee before responding. "Whenever someone says they are putting all their cards on the table I always make sure to look up their sleeves. While it is true that marriages end every day, it is also true that Attorneys get disbarred every day. Lawyers go to jail just as often. "

I saw a small frown cross his face. "And you Darrin have admittedly made keeping Wesley out of jail much more difficult with your little video stunt."

I laughed inwardly to myself. I had released the tape of the confrontation with Wesley and his gym pals onto the internet and to several TV stations in our area. It must have been a slow news week because the 15 second clip was the kicker comic ending on most all the local news shows. The sight of Wesley flinging papers into the air before fleeing the scene after the gunshots had a slapstick, almost cartoonish quality to it. Several stations had added wacky sound effects with Looney Tunes like music to make the video even more hilarious. A national cable show had featured the event in its "Stupid Criminal Tricks -Folly of the Day" segment.

"Darrin you should be aware the Assistant State Attorney was not at all amused by you withholding that cinematic bit of information."

I poured more sugar in my coffee. "If I read between the lies-you mean it killed the deal the ASA had cooked up to reduce the charges on Wesley to some minor misdemeanor. Perhaps a small fine, with no jail time. About the same penalty as a parking ticket. Am I right?"

He kept a poker face but I knew I was on the money. "Look I may not have gone to college nor had four years of law school, but I have high friends in low places. I know how things work. Every profession has its own little fraternity. This is a small town. I figured Wesley would reach out to some contact that was in the 'Courtroom work group', to get some type of 'Professional Courtesy' handling. That video was my insurance that Wesley might get the same treatment as any other lawbreaker."

"Well Darrin you certainly seemed to have acquired some leverage. However the purpose of this friendly chat is to see what can be done to make all parties whole. On that note what happened to Wesley's white Lexus? It was a leased company car, the firm is responsible for it. Although in the end it will be Wesley's liability if he allowed a non-lease holder to drive the automobile."

I tried to keep the smile off my face. "You may wish to check the tow yards or maybe chop shops. I do recall seeing a white Lexus in my driveway after my wife Anita was arrested. But sad to say that car was heavily vandalized. Later some urban youths agreed to tow it away. I am sorry I cannot remember their names or anything."

He gave a big sigh. "Darrin that was not wise, that type of action will have an effect on what we can do for you." With that he pulled out a pen, then wrote a figure on a napkin, folded the napkin, pushing the napkin across the table at me. I did not look at the napkin but wrote my own figure on a napkin, placing my written napkin in front of him. I saw his eyes open wide."

"We are not a large organization Darrin. Surely you must jest, this number is outrageous."

I could not resist the opening "I am not jesting and don't call me Shirley."

Either he had never seen the movie "Airplane" or decided not to comment because he said. "Darrin I do not wish to spout legal advice, but you do understand we do not have any Alienation of Affection laws here in this state, nor does the firm have any moral clause or prohibition against what two consenting adults do on their own time. There is just no justification for a sum of this magnitude."