All Comments on 'Ugly Girl'

Lovely story! Ugly duckling to a beautiful swan.

5

NIce stroy, slightly on the over-sweet-ending-side - but good and entertaining to read. Putting it to my favorites ! Congrats!

Well done. Inside is always what counts. Thank you.

Getting the "writing quality" thing out of the way you can check off the "Writers' Workshop" criteria for dotting all your i's and crossing your t's--so well done on that. Good setup, good progression of action (though not an overwhelming sense of anticipation but you got us there...), and believable personalities of the MC's, although Marti's parents pushed the envelope.

On the whole an entertaining way to spend reading time. If I had to quibble at all it would probably come off as nitpicking--but even though the title blatantly forecasts what the story will be about, the almost total focus on the physical "ugliness" of Marti's face way overshadowed your brief attempts to make her more than a one-dimensional character. Him too. And so now after surgery, she's a beautiful princess and all will be well? As if any relationship built on sheer physical attractiveness would survive the rigors of life and love in real life?

Tie that to what seemed to be a "we're fated to be together forever though we just had one date" assumption once they had in fact gone on a date and fucked?

You've written a lovely fairy tale, quite enjoyable if not erotic. Fairy tales don't have to be believable, nor maybe should they be. But it would have been a richer story were that to have been true.

Good job, though. Keep writing more please.

MLJ

Wonderful story, but had to take off 0.1 stars for the breast implants. Martha is a beauty no matter what.

4.9 rounds to 5 - of course ;^)

Not bad, but reads like a first intro chapter to something more.

Old, old story, but still good. You did leave out the good parts and the ending though... 3/5

More please.

I do agree that the implants were unnecesary. The main idea of the ugly duck is that beauty is not so relevant. Implants are the very opposite

It just made me feel good that she got her face fixed. I liked it.

The implants were unnecessary. It reads as if you lost your way after the first month-long separation. Nevertheless, you left me wanting more, so you do have a storyteller’s talent. Please continue!

Martha found herself a husband and life mate. He wanted her when nobody else did, and he's going to have her, and she's going to carry his babies inside her...

Would have loved this to be stretched inton3 chapters. The story skipped so much. Great premise but.... you can do better

Great premise but needs more.

Like many stories on here it ended too soon.

Please expand the story.

Interesting.

Reminds me of "Eye of the Beholder" The Twilight Zone, 1959. Surgeons are desperately trying to make an ugly girl look normal. When they remove the bandages, surgeons are disappointed that she is still as ugly as before. Then we get to see her face for the first time. It's the beautiful and sexy Donna Douglas, better known as Elly May Clampett of "The Beverly Hillbillies."

A very nice story but it needs a continuation . AAAA++++