by RCButler
Loved this story and I am looking forward to more! For a debut posting I am impressed.
The whole roleplaying thing was never a favorite of mine, but I loved that you didn't explicitly say, but rather just introduced us to the situation. I love that your male character is just a bundle of passion trying to hold up. I love that you talk about the shift in power. Overall I'm just impressed.
i enjoyed this very much - very well wrìtten, fast-paced and gets directly to the action.
it did feel a bit rushed - i'd love to read the full story - would you share a link when it becomes availae?
Although I found this breif and it left me wanting more it was extremely well written. I would love to see the background and futuer of these characters. Keep it up.
I love the way you built up to the scene quickly but without making it seem rushed. A natural progression that built tension and excitement. This spoke to my own sexual leanings and I love that you addressed the power shift that is usually ignored completely.
My only complaint is the length... I want more.