All Comments on 'Unconditional Lust Ch. 01'

Stick with it. Id love to read more. An editor would help but don't let these comments discourage you.

I thought that you did a fairly good job with the grammer when compared to some of the other stuff that gers posted, but you would benefit from an editor.

Suggestions;

mom carches them and says it's about time;

they carch mom with her female partner from the real estate firm;

they carch the little brother with aunt patty;

aunt patty shows up unexpectedly and seduces everyone.

Good luck, keep writing there is lots of promise here.

mikey

I thought it was a really good tale. I'll look forward to the sequel.

A very good story with the exception of breaking her hymen. If you will check with any woman you will find that the hymen is at the entrance of the vagina. Not four inches deep.

...is that four inches inside his sister's pussy was her hymen? Are you nuts? Have you ever even seen a hymen? I'm thinking no since you clearly don't have a clue about female anatomy.

I stopped reading at the point you proved your ignorance. Google hymen and educate yourself.

Sorry about the hymen situation guys. I understand that is bothering people, I can't change it now though. I realize it was a typo. I have never seen a full-hymen though, you are correct. Each girl I have been with had already ripped theirs in some way or another. If I could edit the entry I certainly would. Thanks for pointing the error out though.

Loved the story, it was very well written. Personally, I would have left out the bit about the watersports, as it seemed a little unnecessary, and wasn't even elaborated on. But a great read nonetheless!

Hymens are NOT 4" inside. They are right at the entrance.

Please get basic biology correct.

make rose get off the pill and for her to get pregnant with big brothers twins. i like reading incest stories nd getting pregnant

Excellent story I love it

Excellent Story

Not being into 'urine' the story lost a star down to 2 when I read that part.