Under Her Breath

"Do you remember that prayer you once said for us, Kay? On the boat that time? Say it for me again."

Kay looked back with her dreamy brown eyes and without looking away, recited the Polish children's prayer. She kept her eyes fixed and with a soft voice went on, "I remember that Hans. I remember how close we became, that we slept together. You and me. Do you still feel the same?"

Hannah looked down and frowned. 'Do I still feel the same?' The words jangled in her head, the need to answer honestly bringing a flutter of panic to her chest. She paused a few moments so that Kay spoke again.

"You don't have to say now, Hannah. I think you are complicate person, in a good way. I don't mind and I not want to make you feeling guilt and have doubts. No... let me finish. I love you, Hannah. There are many kind of love. This love I am saying 'Look, here is my first step, shall we take this road for a time together? That is all..."

Hannah hung her head and nodded, words caught in her mouth.

"...but now my eyes are heavy. Will you come to bed soon? This bed?"

For once, Kay had given Hannah an easy question so she agreed with a smile and an easy nod.

Kay pointed a finger at her own lips to summon a kiss and Hannah leaned forward.

Their lips gripped and gently dragged. They watched each other with too-close eyes, eyelashes for a moment fluttering together until Hannah drew back, a fresh smile lighting up her face.

Kay smelled warm and delicious, all brown hair, deep soulful eyes and with a pink glow to her pale face. Kay closed her eyes contentedly and let Hannah switch off the light.

Hannah sat for a few moments gazing at her friend and finally found the answer to the questions that troubled her. She stepped into the lounge and lent back, feeling the cool of the wall as her smile spread across her lips and she put a hand to her mouth to suppress a whoop of joy.

'A step together'. It was so simple. Kay made it simple, not frightening. The last thing Hannah ever wanted was to deceive or be dishonest, but since her own feelings were so opaque to her, she was still uncertain of how to let go and trust everything to feelings. She trusted Kay. That was good enough. There was no deception, just honesty.

She made herself a hot drink and aimlessly flicked the pages of a magazine. After twenty minutes, she rose and washed her face, cleaned her teeth and changed for bed.

In an oversize shirt she walked to the other side of the double bed and slipped into the soft warmth, the presence of Kay's body a welcome addition.

She slipped an arm under the pillow, draped the other over the covers and pushed her hips forward, relishing the warmth of Kay's body in her lap.

* * * * *

The male lion paced the drive, its feet soft on the ground like wrapped sugar, a rhythm of nonchalant steps. He had a lean curiosity, here in unfamiliar surroundings. A primary school had man, small man, weak man. The curve of the tarmac guided him past wet grass to the front door, formal with stone steps and balustrade. He panted, through habit not effort, then raised his nose to pluck scents as they passed in the air.

He smelled the weakness. Where there was weakness there was opportunity and blood. Jaws to a windpipe till they stop kicking. Warm in his mouth. He'll casually glance, blinking away the flies then shake the neck again to be certain it won't run.

I am looking up. The wide glazed window frames my fear. I am weak and here. He is above me, taking my scent but he does not yet see me. He will. He must. I am fixed and weak looking up as the lion swings his thick fur head. His black soft nose at the window. Wet smears. A paw bigger than the sky fills my sight.

Hannah woke with her imagined scream. She hadn't made a sound but she tried to cry out in the dream as the glass broke. The lion again. Her fear again. She knew them both.

Alone in her dream. The dream was her life and her death.

Hannah felt a presence next to her and flinched, not understanding. The image of the dream was gone but the fear still washed drunk in her veins.

Then she remembered. She put the flat of her hand to Kay's back.

"Hey," she whispered. "Sorry if I woke you."

But Karolina was asleep. Hannah held her breath to listen but only heard the beat of her own hot blood. Kay might comfort her with soft words for a child.

'Just a dream'

'But I was frightened'

'Do you want to tell me?'

'There was a lion and a school. My school when I was little.'

'It was just a dream. Here, let me hold you. Stupid lion.'

Hannah was soothed by the words she conjured. Maybe she would tell Kay in the morning? Maybe she would have forgotten by then. The dream would be back another night but now she had Kay to keep her safe.

Hannah glided her hand along Kay's side, down the hollow of her waist, then up the slope of her hips. She curled her fingers over those hips and pulled herself closer into the warmth.

"Our bed, Kay. Our bed." She whispered the words, intrigued and pleased by the sound spoken out loud. Hannah felt certain. The fear had already gone. Sleep crept over her silent as black velvet.

* * * * *

"Are you awake Dr Turner?"

Hannah wondered if she was dreaming again, or if she imagined hearing the words.

"Hannah? Hannah?" Karolina sing-songed her name gently.

They had moved in the night, Kay now cuddled behind Hannah.

"Hello you," Hannah slurred sleepily. She looked over her shoulder, then rolled to let Kay rest her head on her chest.

"You were tapping your foot on the bed, so I think you must be awake now. You tap your foot like you are waiting for something."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I do that. I hope I didn't wake you?" Hannah smiled and kissed Kay's dark hair that smelled of apples. Kay moved her hand to spread her fingers in the space between Hannah's breasts. Not sexual, not requiring consent. A neutral place of belonging.

"No, I was awake. I was happy because then I knew you are awake too. I called your name a few time but you just sleep," Kay ended in a chuckle.

"Well I am awake now. Did you sleep okay? You seem more your cheeky self this morning. You were so tired yesterday, huh?"

"Pffft. That was yesterday. It was long day, you know. But look at this. Look at where I am now." Kay bobbed her head to look into Hannah's eyes with a cat-stolen-cream smile.

Hannah placed a small kiss on Kay's lips then let her head fall back onto the pillow. She started to giggle -- a movement that started in her eyes, then spread to her shoulders so that she gently shook both their bodies.

Kay raised herself up on an elbow to get a better view of Hannah's face. She watched happily with no need for words. Kay reached her fingers to stroke a curl of hair from Hannah's forehead, following the outline of her brows and cheek.

Rediscovering. Relearning. Understanding every contour of her face, the softness of her skin, the pulp of her muscles and the quills of her eyebrows. Kay delighted in the intimacy, felt privileged by it. After all the circumstance, hopes and dreams.

Hannah tried to guess the thoughts in Kay's face and reflected on her own. Hannah mirrored their ritual of tracing faces and felt relief in being close to Karolina again. Their eyes explored, following fingers.

"Shall I make us a cuppa?" Hannah asked, tapping her finger on Kay's nose.

Kay nodded. "Tea or coffee, I not mind."

Hannah returned with the drinks to sit on the edge of the bed while they chatted. She asked how Kay knew her mobile number to send her text.

"Oh Mr Hansen, the guide who give me your number. I explain why so he says it okay. I not think he give to anyone, Hans, he's a good guy," Kay explained.

"Tell me, Kay. Was he with you when you sent that email to me with the data?" Hannah was intrigued by the idea.

Kay face coloured but she didn't speak.

"Cheeky bugger!" Hannah crowed in mock indignation.

"Who? He is cheeky bugger or me cheeky bugger? I'm sorry Hans, I was worried to send it because suddenly I was thinking 'what if Hannah is angry or to put my foot in your project'. But Mr Hansen tell me to send and not worry. So I send it. But this was okay wasn't it?" Kay was suddenly anxious and put her hand on Hannah's arm.

"Of course, of course, Kay. No really -- it was awesome. I am so grateful to you, and to Mr Hansen." Hannah spoke through barely contained laughter. "He told me he was on a glacier that morning, admiring the view! That's too funny!"

"No, not on a glacier. We were in Associates Centre in the NRI. Not glacier."

Kay wrapped a lock of hair round a finger and studied Hannah's expression, while her attention was focused elsewhere. When Hannah finally glanced down, Kay shrugged her shoulders and smiled impishly.

Irresistible.

Hannah threw herself across Kay where she lay on the bed, rolling her onto her side and tickling her as she went. Kay was caught out by the sudden shift in the mood and screamed in laughter as they finished in a duvet of arms and legs. When they found themselves face to face, their laughter subsided into smiles, then closer faces, touching, as their lips met.

They gently pressed their lips together, their tongues explored tentatively, then swirled and with closed eyes, fingers ran through hair.

"I want you so much, Karolina," Hannah whispered, drawing back to focus on Kay's face.

"Me too," Karolina nodded. She lifted herself up and pulled her buttoned top up over her head.

"But this time, I want you more. I want to hear the voice you make when you come. What words you say. My name on your lips. For science! For love!"

They sat to face each other, crossed legged as equals. Hannah a little taller, her skin a warmer tint than Kay's paleness. Hannah reached a hand into Kay's hair and followed the outline of her slim shoulders. She trailed her fingertips down the front of Kay's arm to finished holding her hand.

Kay tugged at the hem of Hannah's shirt and gestured her to remove it, helping to pull the sleeves off her arms, then kicked off the pants of her own pj's. Kay rose onto her knees and pushed her weight onto Hannah to lie back onto the covers.

Kay shuffled onto all fours, her knees either side of Hannah's hips. As she leaned forward, she brushed her lips across Hannah's face in reverential silence. She placed butterfly kisses to Hannah's lips, over her nose, into her hairline, an extra one for the small white scar on her forehead. Kay pinched Hannah's eyebrows with her lips, took a lazy tongue brushstroke towards her ear, drawing an arc round its half moon crescent. She gently nibbled the silver pierced coolness of Hannah's lobes, resisting an animal impulse to bite harder onto soft flesh.

She teased. Never in one place long enough to let the brief contact take root beyond the tickle of a touch.

She observed. Soaking up every facet of the jewel that was hers to savour and admire.

Hannah watched submissively, letting Kay weave her spell until her eyes felt heavy. Magic conjured from placid lips.

Kay sat back, her dark eyes shining, wetness on her lips. She drew her fingertips in lines over Hannah's shoulders, spiralling round the soft circles of her breasts.

"Smooth me," Hannah toned with eyes closed to the sensations.

"Smooth?" Kay puzzled in reply, tilting her head.

"When I was little, I used to plead with my sister to touch me like that. Back and forth, until I was almost hypnotised. 'Smooth me', I'd say."

"Before you have breasts?"

Hannah gave a little snort in reply, "Before I even had a vagina! Long time ago, before sex or gender or other people's opinions. So yea, before breasts."

"I understand. We each have this time as children. What we feel now, you and I, is not so different. This is like those games we played. This is our smooth time, as women. It is innocent."

"It's bliss, Kay. Do we have all day? We have all day, don't we?" Hannah spoke with a nervous anxiety rising in her voice.

"Shuush. Shuush. You're mine now. I am yours. There no world outside, only this. Shuush."

Kay's hands had come to rest like shells over Hannah's breasts, her nipples in the web between thumb and finger. She explored again. There were collarbones and little blue veins to discover and the pulse of Hannah's heart under her touch.

She lifted one hand to kiss a secret to the nipple with the brush of her lips, then shared it with the other. A silent word mimed with lips.

Kay put out her tongue past the word and licked the pinched flesh. Was that a taste of the sea? She rolled her tongue on the roof of her mouth, then again over the little bumps that played ring a roses in coral pinks. The warm tide of her tongue flowed in lazy coils.

Hannah watched mute. Watched Kay's lips forming letters over her breast. She saw the brief silver tendril of saliva from her tongue and ached for more. She ached to her core. An ache that pressed her thighs tight and transformed it into hunger.

Emboldened, Kay pressed her face into the upturned hollow of Hannah's armpit, where shame hides. She breathed and licked the modesty away. Her tongue rasped by the prickles she found and the taste that clung to her palate. There would never be secrets or shame between them.

Hannah trembled, bewildered by Kay's simple candour, her breaths in shaky stolen gasps.

Kay shuffled down to straddle Hannah's restless thighs. She recognised the hunger but denied her.

Hannah must wait.

Kay drank in the curve of her ribs, running a hand down their slope to her flat tummy. Unable to resist, she buried her tongue in the soft thimble of Hannah's bellybutton.

Hannah strayed her hand to Kay's hair, making her sit up. Kay took both Hannah's wandering hands and set them high on the pillow with a grunt of disapproval.

Hannah must not move.

Hannah was Kay's canvas. She washed brush strokes with her tongue, added swirls of want, gilded with promises and hopes, consumed by the colours of desire in cat-licked strokes on Hannah's body. Kay drew close to the temple of sex, where worshippers prostrate themselves, but she had not yet read the scripture or fathomed her disciple.

Kay moved between Hannah's thighs. She lifted one onto her shoulder, raked it with her fingers from thigh to knee, pressed the warm muscles to her face and rocked her open mouth across the skin. If she were able, she would have encompassed the leg like a beast with its prey. Was Kay her lion, ready to eat her?

Instead, she flexed the knee away and brought Hannah's foot to her mouth.

Hannah mewed objection, embarrassed.

Too much Hannah? Not yet enough.

Kay pressed her thumb into the arch of the foot, from heel into the pads. Her disciple objected with a flinch and stifled cry. Kay lifted the other foot as a mirror. She pressed into both pads, so that Hannah's legs trembled.

She looked down from her vantage, saw the dark shadow of the temple framed by a proscenium of open thighs. A cup and turn of muscles pointed into Hannah's sex from her bottom.

Kay closed her eyes again, pinching the arch of Hannah's feet close to her face then turned to kiss the taut skin of each. There was still so much to read in the open book of Hannah's body but there would be time to learn.

She gently set down each foot and knelt in the circle of legs. On the north side was Kay, on the south was Hannah's sex, rich with treasures.

'Poor Hannah' Kay mused to herself, seeing Hannah's arms obediently over her head, her fingers flexing in fists of apprehension. Could she trust her to lie still? Would she be a good girl and give herself without a struggle?

Kay paused to meditate on the idea, her eyes closed, breathing sighs of half thoughts. She was naked to Hannah's scrutiny, imagined the gaze over her pale skin, the gentle curve of her own breasts brushed by the soft morning light.

Silence had briefly been their element once before. They welcomed the returning wordless intimacy of acceptance and understanding.

To rush headlong into passion had its place, but not today. Time was a luxury they could share and lavish on each other. To savour the colour of wine before it is tasted, to gaze longingly at a dish with hands patient in one's lap. To watch fruit ripen in the tree is time well spent.

Kay felt Hannah give the slightest nudge of her foot and opened an eye with a sly smile. Hannah's eyebrows were fixed in a pleading request.

'So, Hannah wants. She needs. Perhaps I've let her wait too long?'

Kay conceded, running her fingers along Hannah's thighs, pushing the doors of the temple open for worship. She circled Hannah's pubis, drawing patterns from the flat of her tummy into the flex of her hips, then dived under to grip the flesh of her bottom.

She bent forward onto her knees and pressed her hands onto the opened hips that writhed under her touch. She placed her face - first one side then the other and felt the heat on her skin and the scent that warmed the air and filled her senses.

She placed an imaginary daisy chain of flowers, kissed in the sunlight that now streamed through the window in dappled patterns. The light caught the iridescence of Hannah's tawny hair and the contours beneath. Cotton creased in the softest silks.

Kay was compelled to kiss there, where the hair parted, then here where her flesh pouted, then into the crease of her thigh where with delight, Kay found a beauty spot. Brown on pale skin, where only intimates would know.

She looked over the dome of Hannah's arching tummy and noticed her fingers spread over her breasts.

"No Hannah, you must not do this. I will say, not you!" Kay spoke with mock irritation in her voice. She took Hannah's hands and put them back over her head.

"Are my hands not enough, Hans? You must be my good girl. Understand?"

Hannah nodded in reply, bemused.

Kay's face was over hers so she offered her lips, hopeful for a kiss. As their tongues entwined, Kay covered Hannah's sex and rolled her fingers in a circle, kneading the rising flesh, teasing a moan that was lost in their kiss.

As their lips parted, Hannah made a little grimace.

"Um... sweetheart? I'm kinda dry because I don't, you know..."

"Oh!" exclaimed Kay in concern. "I'm sorry Hans. Tell me..."

Hannah was already reaching to the bedside cabinet and deftly pulled a tube from the drawer. She pressed a bead of the clear liquid onto her finger.

"It's water based and doesn't really taste of anything. Look." Hannah demonstrated by putting the lube on her tongue. "See?"

"Oh okay. Let me try," Kay replied, intrigued. She held Hannah's finger and sucked it seductively.

"Oh my goodness, Kay. That's fucking hot!" Hannah gasped.

"So. Give me this," Kay chirped happily. "I think I know what is best."

Kay took the tube from Hannah and squirted it onto her tongue. She made a noise as she tried to speak with an open mouth, making Hannah stifle a laugh.

Kay slid dramatically back and, catching a brief sight of her look of surprise, deliberately plunged the tip of her tongue between the lips of Hannah's sex. In one slow movement, from back to front, she coated her labia with lube.

Hannah shrieked in surprise and ecstasy. "Fucking hell, Kay!"

With a mischievous chuckle, Kay moved back to face Hannah and stuck out her clean tongue.

"Is that enough?" she asked.

Hannah answered by pulling Kay towards her and they kissed with hard, hungry tongues fighting in their mouths. Kay's hand returned to its task, her finger now gliding into the slippery folds of Hannah's sex.

Their mood had changed from serenity to desperation. There could be no going back and the urgency stirred their bodies.

Kay kept control, trying to insist that Hannah kept her hands still, but as she returned her face between the writhing thighs it was a lost cause. Hannah gripped the back of Kay's head as her nose drew a furrow through her slick heat. With its tip, she first circled the button of Hannah's flesh, then down. Down for her tongue to taste the tang of lust and dip into her lover's body.