Under Her Breath

She wanted the taste on the back of her throat. She wanted more than tentative sea salt, she wanted to consume, for her mouth to become part of Hannah's sex. She slipped two fingers past her open mouth. Displaced by her own greed, she watched their progress and listened for her lover's cries.

It was difficult for Kay to move. The hand at the back of her head was unyielding. Her nose was ground against the thick bone of Hannah's pubis.

Next time she must tie her up properly. Kay prided herself in teasing, playing melodies in the voice of her lover and controlling her crescendo. Next time.

Now her lover was grappling with her, fighting for consummation, angry with desire. She understood. She fought back, taking the nip of her sex and dragging it across her teeth and sucking it into her mouth as her fingers twisted and turned.

Hannah shrieked. Kay was pushed clear by bucking hips, then pulled back into the storm by hot, frenzied hands, her face smeared in liquid heat, her nose ground wet until she felt the sparkle of blood and bruise.

Released, she knelt back to marvel. Hannah's legs were trembling and her hands covered her face for a moment, then she remembered her lover and frantically gestured for her.

"Come, come. Here, here!" Hannah gasped, beckoning with rigid fingers and outstretched arms.

Kay dived forward, her face wet with sex and they kissed, out of breath, chaotically, passionately until they began to laugh and sigh and roll together in love.

They brushed the hair from each other's glowing face, plucked errant hairs from the corners of their mouths. Nose to nose and eyelashes fluttering, teeth draped in the spittle thickness of each other's smiles.

Too out of breath to kiss, they hugged hard, a jumble of breasts, bedclothes, twined legs, hands in hair, hands on slick skin. Shaky with delight and joy.

"I want you, Kay. I want your taste, I want to drown in you." Hannah crowed, rolling back onto the bed.

Kay made to move but Hannah stopped her.

"I want your sex here." Hannah gestured to her mouth. "Yes, that's it. This is no time to be bashful after what you just did to me."

Kay hesitated, then shuffled to straddle Hannah's face. Unbalanced, she leaned to grip the wooden bedrail.

Hannah coiled her arms to grip the top of Kay's thighs, pulling herself up into the slick arch of Kay's sex.

Hannah sucked the folds of Kay's lips between her teeth and gently chewed, letting her nose press deeper. Hannah nodded to let her tongue draw a rich brushstroke through the oils of Kay's colours. The furrow, open here, was closed over the little bud of flesh, shyly hooded and hidden from her searching tongue. She circled its encampment like a shark, lazy and curious. She felt a shudder and heard a distant sigh.

Kay rocked forward, the probing tongue too much, she was not yet ready to bear such intensity, but the tide was already rising in her body.

Hannah lay in the shallows of Kay's secrets, lapping the salty sweetness with her dipping tongue. She swallowed, then stole another breath as Kay eased the pressure for an instant.

A thought flickered through Hannah's imagination. 'If I could die this way. How sweet it would be.'

Perhaps Kay knew her lover must breath as well as drink, perhaps she didn't care, for her head was sparkling with red and black. Her tight shut eyes were blind. Her white bitten lips unable to silence her cries. Her body snaked in slow curls that ran from shoulders to hips.

The swirls of their dance rose and fell until Kay's resistance failed and she broke like a wave. Her weight crashed down onto Hannah. She didn't want to hurt her but she had no thoughts at all, only reflexes as she bucked in ecstasy.

Hannah recognised the shudders, though she was deaf to Kay screaming her name over and over. The body she gripped so tightly lifted her from the bed, then slumped. She could breath for a moment until in a whirl of movement, Kay's mouth was suddenly glued to hers and her body landed heavily on her chest.

The cheeks of Kay's face were flushed, the ruby blush extending down her neck. Her eyes sparkled with tears. She showered Hannah's face with kisses and finally licked her lover's chin, seeing it wet with her own musk.

Hannah laughed back at her, with a chuckle.

"You're like a bloody dog, Kay!"

"I know. If I have tail I shake it like mad for you!" Kay beamed back at her, then took pity and slid onto her side to face her.

They couldn't find the right words to say. No words were needed. They grinned at each other like goofy kids, both far beyond happy.

"Grrrr. I could eat you!" said Hannah, hugging Kay tightly. "But... I think I just did."

Kay nodded back, her impish smile returned, but beaded by perspiration across her top lip. Her dark hair was matted in strands across her forehead, so Hannah combed them free with her hand. Kay turned to kiss the hand.

"If you eat me, there is nothing left," Kay whispered, as she drew lazy patterns over Hannah's chest with the backs of her fingers.

Hannah simply smiled back, too exhausted to say more. Despite the sunlight, their hot skin felt suddenly chilled, so she shook the bedclothes free of their legs and made a cave for their bodies to snuggle under. They lay playing church and steeple with their fingertips, until Hannah saw Kay slipping away into sleep.

Hannah watched her breathing and drank in her beauty.

"Why did I wait so long?" She spoke the words softly to her sleeping lover.

* * * * *

When they awoke from their extra lie-in, they made themselves busy with practical matters. Kay sorted her clothes into heaps and they were loaded into the washing machine. Leaving it to its noisy task, they walked into town, browsing a few shops on the way, but Kay was keen to see Hannah's university department and where she worked.

Hannah was surprised and flattered by the interest. In many ways Kay was still a puzzle to her, having only met her briefly on their sailing trip two years before. She had no idea how passionate Kay was in her academic work and as they toured the building it became clear that she was pursuing a dream and vocation.

In some areas of marine biology, Kay's knowledge was a match for hers so they discussed recent advances and discoveries with a shared enthusiasm.

In the refectory they sat with mugs of tea and swapped knowledge of saline levels, sea temperatures and currents at depth around the Atlantic like a pair of girl nerds. Finally, with a notepaper filled with shared scribbles and diagrams they thought about supper.

"I know a super Italian bistro in walking distance. It isn't posh and I quite often go there with colleagues after work, so don't worry about being dressed up. Besides, most of your clothes are still in the wash," Hannah suggested.

"Hmm what's the time? Shall we go from here or back to your place first?" Kay began to pull on her jacket.

"We can freshen up here and beat the crowds if we go early." Hannah stood to join her as they ambled to the exit. "My treat by the way. My town, you're my guest so I'll pay. Deal?"

"Okay, Dr Turner. When you come to Poland though, I will make this treat back to you."

* * * * *

They didn't need to book as it was only just six o'clock and the manager greeted Hannah like an old friend. She was never sure if he really remembered her or if it was his professional courtesy, but it didn't matter -- it felt like a second home with its cosy alcoves and calm atmosphere.

The waiter took their coats then insisted on helping them to be seated at a table. Kay looked up, with a smile and made a little small talk with him.

"I do wish they wouldn't make such a fuss," Hannah whispered across the table

"You know this is tradition, it is politeness for the waiter," Kay replied. "Did you never work in a restaurant?"

"I tried working behind a bar once. I was a total failure," Hannah answered, laughing at the memory. "I could never make out what people said with all the background noise. It's a symptom, well one of many I suppose."

"Symptom of illness? No. What do you mean?"

Hannah weighed her answer. She never saw her autism as shameful, but she didn't like to admit to it readily, because to her that sounded like an excuse. She toyed with the cutlery, lining up the knife with the base of her wine glass, then matched her fork with the tablecloth pattern as she gathered her thoughts.

She could trust Kay. She trusted her; not so much with the truth but in how she would deal with it. Kay sat opposite in comfortable silence. She was like a cat. How did Kay do that? It didn't feel awkward -- she was content to wait.

"Well..." Hannah began, her explanation carefully worded. "I once suffered a lot of mental depression and I couldn't understand it; I couldn't fix it myself. So I ended up speaking to a counsellor (a lovely lady) and she let me talk and talk and talk. But after a number of appointments, I found I had run out of things to say to her. I told her so. She asked if she could make some observations from her notes.

"It was funny really. She'd picked up on so many details; things I had said that to me didn't have any real meaning. But she had put them together like a jigsaw puzzle. My jigsaw. She concluded I was autistic, that I had autistic traits; symptoms if you like. Do you know what autism is, Kay? Maybe you have a different word -- we could check it on my phone."

"There's no need, Hans. We have the same word. And thank you. Thank you for telling me, because now I understand this better. Of course, yes!" Kay reflected on her own thoughts for a moment. "I knew this about you from the beginning but I did not put my hand on it. My younger sister, she is also autistic. I'm so stupid not to see this."

"Not stupid at all. I hide it well enough. Don't I?" Hannah asked, perplexed.

"No, no. Sorry. Stupid is not the correct word, I'm sorry. I mean you are similar to her in those ways. Like with emotions and your honesty. It's the same with her," Kay replied and put her hand over Hannah's.

"I think maybe it is like when I speak English. My English is so-so and I can understand most words people say, but if they use a word I don't understand I can guess by their face or how they speaking. I think with you, you cannot guess: you must understand every word or it not make sense to you. Is that how it is?"

"That's a part of it, yes. Understanding another person's intentions, but often it's an internal thing too. I'm still puzzling it out to be honest, Kay," Hannah murmured back. She rubbed her thumb gently into the palm of Kay's hand. "I get frustrated. Sometimes people say I'm cold because I don't smile as much as I should or I frown too much. I'm sorry if I do that with you, Kay."

"That's okay because my sister is the same but I can see what is in her heart. You are not my sister and for sure, every person is unique; but there are some things the same. With her, if I am not sure of her emotions, I will ask her and she does not mind. Most of the time I understand how she feels inside. I think with you I do, but you must tell me -- it works both ways too you know."

Kay looked across at Hannah whose face had clouded. Hannah nodded emphatically in reply but focused her eyes on their hands, which Kay squeezed tightly in reassurance. Hannah glanced up and made a quick smile in acknowledgement as she settled her emotions.

"I have some antipasta for you, ladies," the waiter arrived breezily at their table and carefully set down a dish of caprese for them. "Let me know when you are ready to order."

It was a timely interruption and both girls cooed at the delicious offering, then turned their attention to their menus.

Hannah's mind was still busy with their discussion, but she realised how relieved she felt from it too. She glanced up to catch Kay's eye and mouthed 'Thank you' to her.

"Nie ma za co kochanie," Karolina replied, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

Hannah looked bemused.

"It means," Kay leaned in to whisper. "You are very welcome, my love. Ciągle o tobie myślę and I will show you this when we are home. Now, Dr Turner, I am famished and I think we both need pasta! Red or white?"

"Can we have white? Sorry, but red wine makes me ill. Or we could have a glass each, if you like," Hannah chattered in reply.

"Well, I think," said Kay picking her words deliberately. "I think if we are going to eat together more often, I need to learn your tastes, so I will have white also. We can share a bottle."

"That's fighting talk. You're on," Hannah laughed with an eye on the menu and both ears on Kay's words. '...if we are going to eat together more often'. She kicked off her shoes and finding Kay's leg under the table, slowly brushed her calf with a foot.

Hannah looked over her menu to watch Kay fighting to hide a smile.

"Are we ready to eat, Miss Nowak?" Hannah teased.

Kay snickered, putting a hand to her mouth, as her shoulder shook and she had to turn away, her forehead resting on the palm of her hand. She stole a glance at Hannah who simply raised an eyebrow to send her into another fit of giggles.

Hannah watched her friend and a question sprang from her mouth.

"If you're not busy for the next twenty years, do you think you'd like to move in with me?"

The words surprised Hannah too but then she realised she'd never been more serious.

"Only twenty years? But who will look after you when you are old?" Kay laughed at first then sobered as she realised Hannah's mood.

"You remember what I said before, Hannah, about my love?" Kay spoke quietly as she looked up and reached for her friend's hand once more. "I said 'Here is my first step, shall we take this road for a time together?' Now we are both on that road, lets see where it takes us."

The End

Special thanks go to my beta-readers / editors / cheerleaders and counsellors - ElectricBlue66 and Bramblethorn. I am lucky to have such fine authors to offer their help and advice and I recommend you to hunt out their stories.

I didn't intend for Hannah's tales to become a series but she became too important to ignore. She's played the role of my mask: fallible, quirky and passionate and I am grateful to her for allowing me to have a voice. There may be more to hear from Hannah, but after all these adventures, she needs a lie down for a while. Thank you for reading