Under the Gaze of the Sirens 02: Unknown Desires

In the morning Jessica was still in bed, I would imagine she'd sleep into the afternoon and have to leave for work after a while. This was a quiet time out by the pool and I put on my skimpiest Speedo and went out to lay in the sun. Truth be known I wanted to go out by the pool in one of Jessica's skimpy bikini bottoms. There was one that was simple, white and gold, very sexy and no side ties so I could possibly pass in without it being too obvious. It was really small and accented my ass cheeks every time I had worn them. More than once I had worn the full swimsuit ensemble, the skimpy bikini bottoms and the string bra top. I did not want to press my luck especially with Jessica home but the thought of wearing her bikini bottoms out to the pool made me feel naughty and gay.

No one was out at the pool but I knew in one of the apartments facing the pool lives a middle aged man and his wife. He would sometimes come out by the pool and sit and read the paper. He's seen me before in my Speedo and we've made small talk but I never thought much about it. I was hoping he'd come out today just because it would make me feel sexy having him see me in my tight bathing suit. He was not the stud Warren was but he was big, hairy and masculine so that made me have the same feelings about my sexuality. Putting suntan lotion on my newly shaved body made me horny, actually I had a nice hard on throbbing in my swimsuit. It made me feel sexy and I was so horned up I did not care if someone noticed my hard penis pressing against the tight confines of my swimsuit.

I stood around doing stretches and subtly tried to show off my body in case someone was watching. For over an hour I lay in the sun working on my tan. My erection came and went, sometimes I would casually rub it as I lay there or hump it slowly into the chaise lounge while laying on my stomach with my cute ass on display. Never did see anyone, so after a while I went in and waited around for Jessica to wake up. She was pretty groggy when she got up, kinda nonchalant and distant, asked me about my trip, she actually was a little bitchy so I could not wait for her to go to work. Then the fun could start again.

I took a shower after she left, shaving my legs, underarms and pubes again and washing off the suntan lotion. The heels Warren gave me were so fun to put on, put them on first then a pair of Jessica's side tie string bikini panties, these were white with pink trim. I think I could just walk around in heels and panties all day it just made me feel so fem and gay. In just the panties and heels I put on some makeup to look sexy then fussed with my hair with some styling gel. Then putting on one of Jessica's sundresses it was heaven. Really toyed with the idea of going out dressed and made up like this as a girl and seeing what it felt like being 'en femme' in public. Instead I just jacked off in panties a couple of times before going to sleep.

In the weeks that followed my return from Minneapolis I followed this routine of sunning myself out by the pool in the mornings and mid day on Saturdays and Sundays while Jessica was still asleep. Most of the time I had it to myself but sometimes kids were out playing and swimming or some girls would lay out in their bikinis. I loved seeing girls in their bikinis, it made me feel sexy in my skimpy Speedo. The older married guy, Mel, came out once with his wife and drank beer.

Things with me and Jessica were different in the 3 weeks I was back from the business trip. That first day back she was kind of bitchy to me but for some unknown reason she started being nicer to me. She seemed more interested in sex and I tried not to masturbate the day before I thought we might have sex. All she said about my shaved pubes was "kinky" with a little smirk. I still dressed in panties and masturbated a lot on the nights she worked late. I was always horny and Jessica had no idea why I was so aroused during sex but for me all I could think about was being femme and gay with Warren. The thought and memory of sucking his cock and getting fucked by him made me cum with amazing enthusiasm while fucking Jessica. Inside my mind all I thought about was sex with Warren, and if she fingered my hole as we fucked I came so hard thinking about a cock in my ass.

A few weekends later I was out by the pool again, this time I did have the nerve to wear Jessica's bikini bottoms, the white and gold ones. She had a Saturday lab at school and the was heading to work from school so I would have the place to myself all day and night. I wrapped a towel around my waist as I walked out so it would not be too obvious. But peeling off the towel by the chaise lounge and exposing myself in them gave me a rush. They looked hot on me, I felt so gay. It was quiet and no one was out by the pool. After a while Mel came out with a beer and sat down. He made small talk about "what a beautiful day" and "how's work" and such. Finally after a while he said:

"Susan's in Tampa visiting her sister, should be gone all day. She might even spend the night. You're welcome to come inside for a beer if you like."

I was not sure to take that as a subtle come on, but if it was, I was flattered. In my defense I admit that all the time I spent out by the pool I had tried my hardest to look as sexy and as feminine as possible. Admittedly it was Mel that I had hope would notice me, something about his masculinity made me feel like I did with Warren. Honestly I never thought he would even notice or be interested in me.

Once inside his apartment there was certainly a bit of underlying sexual tension in the air and wearing only the skimpy bikini bottoms made me feel sexy and desirable. It was almost as if I was a boy in panties in front of Mel, the bikini bottoms I had on were so skimpy and sexy. My penis was not fully hard but firm, its shape and outline were very noticeable in the sexy swim bottoms I had borrowed from Jessica. Just being there nearly naked with my bronze skin and hairless body was exciting presenting myself to Mel as he handed me a beer. I remember when I dated Jessica or other girls and the feeling I got seeing them up close in a bikini, it would literally drive you crazy with desire. This is the effect I was hoping I was having on Mel.

Where as Warren was very direct taking the lead with me and initiating our sexual encounter, with Mel I could tell he was cautious and nervous about how to proceed. That made me feel even more feminine knowing as "the girl" I would have to let on it was okay for him to come on to me. We sipped the beers as he mumbled small talk. I stood close to him and looked softly in his eyes as he spoke. The suntan lotion smelled good. I think he was trying to come up with the nerve to make the first move. Putting my hands behind my head I turned and stretched to each side showing off my shaved underarms. My nipples were hard in his cool apartment, they were pointy like a girl's, looking sexy on my smooth bronze skin.

Excusing myself I went to pee in the bathroom. Sitting down to pee I noticed the strangeness of being in the bathroom of an apartment similar to your own yet how it's different with it smells and cosmetics on the counters. Admiring myself as the mirror I played with my penis a bit to make it noticeable. The bikini bottoms were on the floor by my ankles and just being naked in a strange man's bathroom playing with my penis made my head spin with desire and arousal. Pulling up the bikini bottoms and I pulled it low so if you looked closely you might see that my pubes perhaps a glimpse of the shaved 'landing strip'. I headed back to Mel, I tried to walk as feminine and dainty as possible. Mel was sitting on a stool by the kitchen counter when I returned. I walked in front him as I went to the other side of him making sure he got a good look at my ass. It felt amazing to walk around close to him in just the skimpy bikini bottom. Smiling sweetly at him and batting my eyes I just looked at him and spoke a very soft:

"Hi!"

By now the sexual tension in the air was apparent as Mel looked me over. Jessica's bikini bottoms hung low on my hips and my penis scrunched firm in the front. With my penis firming up in Jessica's skimpy bikini bottom it actually pulled the front open on top where if you looked close enough you could see my pubes were shaved close as a "landing strip". There was no doubt that I had a hard on protruding in her swimsuit.

"Your girlfriend is a pretty girl, I don't see her out by the pool much when you are. She's out sometimes when you are at work. She's got a suit just like yours," he said as he touched his fingertip to the bikini at the hip, perhaps gaining nerve.

"This is her suit," I said, beaming to him. "Does it look good on me too?" as I did a slow pirouette to show him it all off to him.

With that he ran his hand over my ass. Any doubts on where this may lead were dispelled as his other hand felt the front of the swimsuit making my penis grow. Standing there I let him grope me all over allowing him to explore and fondle the forbidden fruit of a sexy young man wearing his girlfriend's bikini bottoms. In a flash I melted into him as his masculine tongue invaded my mouth and I slid my hand over his cock. As we broke the kiss I was soon on my knees unfastening his khaki cargo shorts. Pulling them down along with his boxers the scent of his cock wafed about as I played with his hardening manhood. He stepped out of his shorts and flip flops and peeled off his shirt.

As I played with his hardening cock he let out a soft moan. When I pressed my face into it drinking in its masculine scent, I knew cock turned me on more than anything else. Hungrily I slipped my mouth over his cock as he steadied himself by placing a hand on each of my shoulders. His hard fat cock slid easily into my mouth and my little penis was so hard, I was finally sucking cock again.

"Oh. My. Gawd," Mel gasped as I sucked on his cock. "Oh. My. Gawd," he repeated. My cock was so hard in the bikini bottoms.

It had been months since my encounter with Warren so finally sucking cock again confirmed what I had known for a while, that I was more gay than not. The kinky nastiness of sucking on a middle aged man's fat hairy cock drove me wild, made me feel like a girl. No doubt at all now about my sexuality, deep down I knew I was gay as fuck. Mel was still in a bit of disbelief that he was getting his cock sucked by a sexy young man. His cock tasted so fucking good as I greedily feasted on it. My own little peenie ached hard in Jessica's bikini swimsuit bottoms. After many long minutes sucking Mel's cock I rose up and kissed him with a horny fervor that surely surprised him. It was so exciting to finally being gay with a man again. In my infinite horniness I pulled my penis from the top of the bikini bottoms and pressed it into Mel's hard wet cock. We kissed some more as we frotted our tacky hard penises together, Mel's cock being quite bigger than mine. Breaking the the kiss I whispered sexily like a girl in his ear:

"I've been such a bad girl, don't you think I deserve a spanking?" as I took him by the hand and sat him on the couch. Mel's lucky day just kept getting better.

Laying across his lap Mel slowly was taking the bait and started getting into it. He pawed at my cute little bikini clad butt, admiring it before sticking a hand inside to fondle my little tushie, the same tushie Warren was so enamored with. Jessica always told me I had a "girl's" butt, now it was on display for a horny old man to play with. Mel squeezed and rubbed my ass before slipping a finger between the cheeks and fingered my tight little hole. Surely he couldn't resist spanking my hottie little ass and sure enough he let fly a slap on my bottom, albeit a tentative rather tame spank.

"Harder Daddy, I'm such a bad girl," I encouraged him.

He let fly a few harder spanks, nothing like what Warren had laid on me but getting better.

"Harder Daddy," I implored him.

Mel obliged and rapped my ass with a number of good hard slaps, reddening my ass. I don't know why but after my nights with Warren, getting spanked again was something I had longed for. It turned me on so much and I loved the attention. Sliding up into his arms I flung my arms around his neck and hungrily kissed him. Everything you've heard about fags is true, masculine men turn them on and they can't control themselves around them. I was no different, being here with Mel was more exciting than anything else in my world. Sliding back down between his legs I resumed sucking his fat hairy cock. It tasted divine, I tingled with this confirmation of my homosexuality. A boy sucking cock is nasty, vulgar, disgusting...unless you are that boy, then it is beyond exciting. Sucking Mel's cock gave him pleasure. It also gave me pleasure, I was such a horny cocksucker.

I attended to Mel's cock in such a fashion that he may not have been sucked off like that for many years, if ever. I wanted to make him feel special. Hungrily sucking his cock, licking his balls, mashing my face into his penis relishing the scent, jacking on his cock, calling him "Daddy", the desired effect happened. Through quite a number of "Oh Gawds" and "Fuck Yeahs" Mel came, ejaculating warms spurts of cum in my mouth as he held my head down on his cock. When his grip loosened and his orgasm subsiding I looked up at him with doe eyes and said "Thank you Daddy," beaming in that I had pleasured him so thoroughly. I stood up and pulled off the bikini swim bottoms, wanting him to see his gay boy lover naked. It was so exciting to be naked for him, my penis was so hard and I felt so girly.

As he sat on the couch still trying to process that the neighbor boy had just given him the blow job of his life, I threw my naked body on him and forced my mouth on his. Telling him he was the best, calling him Daddy, telling him I loved his cock, I told him I'd dress like a girl if he wanted me too and that I wanted his cock in my "pussy". I did want his cock in my pussy.

He could not but help grab my cute ass cheeks in each hand as I fawned over him. With one of my knees on the couch and the other leg on the floor his one hand played with my ass as I placed his other hand on my very erect penis. He pulled on my little peeny jacking me off slowly and fingering my hole. I loved the attention, loved being naked for him and loved acting like a fag. Knowing I would not last much longer as I got close I fell into him kissing him again humping my peenie into his hand and very quickly squirting cum over his hairy body and mine.

As we both registered the experience I got up and Mel stood too. In a little bit of humor Mel said as I pulled on the bikini bottoms:

"My wife thinks you are a fag, that you must be gay for a boy to lie out there by the pool in such a tiny bathing suit. Guess she's right," Mel smirked. "She says you have such a pretty girlfriend and she's not sure what she sees in a guy that is so girly. She'd divorce me in a heartbeat if she knew about what we just did."

"You didn't seem to mind this," I told him as I pulled on his half hard sticky penis. "If your wife's not back tonight, come over for some more fun. Call me."

Writing my number on a scrap of paper, I gave Mel a quick kiss on the cheek and went out and dove in the pool, washing off all the cummies off me. Was not sure he'd call but I was really hoping he would. Jacking off in panties and lingerie is one thing, but actually having a real cock to suck was much more exciting. Sure enough Mel called and we had a wonderful evening together. Before he showed up I put on the sluttiest makeup I could. Dressing up as a total girl, I wore a skimpy, sexy floral sundress, silky pink panties and high heels. Mel loved it. One of these days I told myself I'd paint my toes pink. After playing around with each other, Mel fucked me from behind on the couch, he kept telling me I had a sweet little ass. After he came I pulled off the dress and he jacked me off with his cock still inside me. Needless to say I was the best fuck he'd ever had. He told me so.

As much as we both really loved our sexual tryst, Mel's wife was pretty domineering and controlling and we had few opportunities for other encounters. I was able to sneak in a few blow jobs but Mel and his wife travelled a lot and were not around that often. People at work joked with me about being "metrosexual", a straight guy with a pretty girlfriend who has gay mannerisms and tendencies. It was not true. I was totally gay, it was just I was in the closet and no one knew. No one knew I wore panties under my male work clothes. Gawd, I loved that, even wore Victoria's Secret Pink panties that I had bought for myself. If the guys at work knew that under my slacks I wore girl's hot pink and white "boy shorts" with 'PINK' in big lettering across the wide elastic band, they would certainly think I was gay.

My love for being feminine and dressing up led me to go one night to a local gay bar having a "drag" night. It was something I had long wanted to do but always chickened out. Not sure why I waited so long, it was one of the most exhilarating nights of my life. It was a Friday night and with Jessica at work I got "dolled up" like I never had before. A luscious soapy bath with me shaving everywhere, followed by scented lotion and a makeup job that by now I had perfected had me looking stunning as I primped in the mirror in nothing but a pair of silky, delectable lavender string bikini panties. I had even bought some false eyelashes for an occasion like this, my eyes sparkled and they made my girliness very convincing. Another thing that I had longed to do was paint my toenails. Using some of Jessica's bubblegum pink nail polish I carefully transformed my toes from blah male to stunning feminine loveliness. Decided against wearing stockings, thought that my bronze tanned lovely legs with the black high heels and my newly pink toes would look more natural and less trampy.

With a simple cream colored spaghetti strap cocktail dress embellished with tiny sequins, simple bangle bracelets and my shaggy hair fussed up with styling gel, I looked stunning. Actually if not for my flat chest I looked so much like a sexy girl that it would be hard to discern that I actually was a boy. My tanned skin looked lovely with my hard bronzed nipples poking against the thin material of the dress giving an air of femininity that made up for having tiny titties. When I walked in the club I was nervous as hell, but everyone was so friendly. Some lesbians at first mistook me for a girl but were still kind to me when they realized it and told me how incredible I looked. They convinced me to sign up for the drag revue, where they troupe you across the stage and introduce you. Hadn't even thought about a femme name but real quick I came up with "Katie". Jessica had a hottie friend named Katie that always drove me crazy so that came to mind quickly.

Before hooking up with Jessica I'd go to a bar and as a guy I was nearly invisible. Girls ignored me and guys intimidated me. In the nearly hour before the revue, guys were hitting on me and buying me drinks, and other transvestites were chummy with me and I was having a blast. When came time for the revue I had butterflies and was one of the last ones to be introduced. All the audience was cheering and whistling at the "girls" and when my "name" was called and I walked to the front of the stage the crowd went wild. I received the loudest cheers and most catcalls, whistles and whooping of any of the "girls". Guys were shouting out "marry me Katie, marry me", made me blush so hard. Could not believe I won! The prizes I won were a gift card to a clothing boutique and a pair of panties. They also gave me a bouquet of roses. I was flabbergasted, I had no idea what to expect going to this club and all these wonderful things happened to me.