Under the Gaze of the Sirens 02: Unknown Desires

We were in Minneapolis for a conference, 3 nights Tuesday through Thursday, leaving Friday morning. Our firm was a top producer of components for fiber optic technologies. Flew in from Orlando, got settled in the hotel, then on to registration and a meeting in the afternoon, dinner with a few co-workers from around the country. Ran into Warren from the main office in New Jersey and we shot the breeze a bit before heading to my room. Warren was the executive vice president, a tall, buff and sometimes gruff man in his late forties who knew how to get things done and people knew not to mess with him. I was much farther down the line in the company but was a top producer and Warren had always been friendly to me the few times we had met. He probably played football in college and still went to the gym religiously. Biking and swimming were my pursuits and at 5'10" 145lb. in my twenties I was runt compared to Warren.

Wednesday was more of the same; meetings, trade demonstrations, lunch and dinner with co-workers. Thought I'd have a beer in the hotel bar and catch a baseball game on their TV to waste some time before heading up to my room. Two beers was about my limit and just as I was about to leave Warren walked by. We exchanged more pleasantries and he was very complimentary of my work, praise being something he rarely handed out to anyone. He invited me up to his room for a drink and I sheepishly accepted though I knew more alcohol may or may not be a good thing for me.

Needless to say his room was much larger and more expensive than mine. He sat in a plush armchair and I on the sofa as we nursed bourbon on the rocks. Was so glad it was not Scotch, it is easier for me to sip down the smoky sweetness of bourbon than the stark whiskey flavor of Scotch. Our conversation meandered through work and industry first, then through current events and onto sports. Warren talked about his life and upbringing and as a good conversationalist did ask me questions about my life, which I'm sure he found pretty boring compared to his power and money upbringing. Still, he was kind and attentive and listened to me.

After the earlier beers and now the drinks I excused myself and went to pee. After I returned, Warren did so too and then he poured me another drink when he got back. We talked some more and well into my third drink I had loosened up and might have been giglish, even a bit girlish in the the presence of such a masculine man. I was going on about some inane comment a coworker had made and it was one of those instances where you are talking but you can then tell what you are saying doesn't register or you've lost their interest and it's apparent they are not really listening to you. Catching myself in this moment I stopped talking and there was dead silence. We were feeling no pain, especially for me with 3 stiff drinks.

In this moment of silence we both took a sip of our drinks at the same time. I was thinking I should probably head back to my room. In this awkward silence Warren looked straight at me and said nothing. This was an intense stare that pierced me and I was paralyzed in thought and action. It was an otherworldly moment that you realize that you really don't know what is happening or what you are feeling and that you might be in a psychological place you have never been. Before I could register all of this and muster speech to break the moment, Warren spoke:

"I want you to suck my cock Billy," he said in a low, deep tone, authoritatively as a directive not a request.

If I was unable to move or speak before, these words stunned me and I went further into paralysis of speech and action as our eyes locked and he surely could see the terror and uncertainty in my gaze.

"No one needs to know," he said softly and reassuringly, giving me a look of confidence and benevolence.

With that he simply unbuckled his belt, placed both his arms on the armrests of the chair and spread his legs apart opening his stance as if it was all up to me. Warren looked at me with a kind, warm smile but said nothing. It was all up to me. My mind was racing. If I was honest with myself this might have been the most exciting and sexually arousing moment of my life. Just the way it unexpectedly unfolded I had never felt the naughty taboo excitement I was feeling now. It was fun being with girls but I had always been clumsy and unsure of myself around them. My girlfriend Jessica even let it slip several times when she said things like "you're such a pussy" or "quit acting like a girl" when we were around confident masculine males. It was strange but I did feel like a girl at this moment, it was a feeling of femininity inside me that made me hard as stone.

I set my drink down and got on my hands and knees on the floor and crawled the few feet from my spot over to Warren as if crawling like this would make the event that was about to unfold more covert and less chance of being seen. Warren looked deeply into my eyes as my hands reached up onto his crotch. Knowing what was expected of me but not really knowing how to proceed I guess I tried to emulate what a woman might be doing in my place. I began rubbing at his cock through his pants, feeling it grow and I became aroused beyond belief from what I was doing. Warren loosened his tie as I fumbled for the zipper of his pants. Pulling the zipper down I felt his hardening cock through the thin material of his boxers. He shuffled a bit and lifted his rump slightly allowing me to pull his boxers down, which I did.

Warren pulled off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt as my hands touched the flesh of his cock. I have to admit this is not the first cock I had ever touched, like most boys there are experiences in teenage years where experimenting goes on. With many males it is relegated to the dustbin of your memory as you try to fit in as a heretosexual male. Warren's cock was quite large and rather impressive, easily eight inches or more of circumcised manhood.

As my hands began fondle and jack on his cock he had finished unbuttoning his shirt and was unbuttoning his cuffs. From his hard hairy cock in a forest of thick black hair all the way up his belly and chest was a thick matt of hair. We were two very different males. Warren was built, buff, hairy and masculine where I was skinny, smooth skinned, light haired and tanned. Jessica would tease me about wearing my Speedo to the pool, saying things like "I bet you'd look good in my bikini." I barely needed to shave. Warren spoke:

"You are doing fine Billy. Pull my pants down."

Almost like a valet I slid his expensive leather shoes off, pulled off his socks and began tugging at his trousers. Again he lifted up and I was able to get his pants and boxers down to his knees and off. Sitting in the armchair before me was a naked, handsome man with by now a very erect penis.

"Now Billy," Warren coaxed me.

On my knees on the carpeted floor I tentatively leaned forward taking his cock in my hands as my face slowly inched towards his manhood. We looked intently into each other's eyes. Holding it in both hands I leaned into it and placed a small kiss on the underside. Warren shuddered and rolled his eyes at this first contact. Almost as if in a trance I began licking at it much like a timid puppy would throw a few licks at your face. Having no preconceived notion about what I was about to do, what struck me was the aroma of his manhood. The scent was at once subtle and overpowering. Not wanting to be coaxed anymore and feeling an overwhelming desire to please Warren, I did the deed and sank my mouth over his penis. I tried to think of the very few times a girl had sucked my cock, only one girl ever was very interested at it. At this point my arousal took over as I went up and down on his cock, in and out of my mouth.

Warren moaned quietly. Good. I wanted him to be pleased with my efforts. Pulling off for a moment to catch my breath we looked into each other's eyes, mine was a doe eyed look of quiet devotion to please Warren and his cock. His look told me he was pleased that he had convinced me to suck his cock. As I returned his cock to my mouth Warren ran his hand through my shaggy sandy brown hair. It felt good for him to touch me, show me a little affection for me pleasuring him. Having a cock in my mouth felt strange and wonderful at the same time, the taste of man flesh, the sensation of my mouth opened wide with the unique hardness of a penis between my lips.

My mind was racing a million miles an hour realizing that I was performing a homosexual act on a man in essence my boss and old enough to be my father. As much as I was enjoying pleasuring Warren I also had never been this sexually excited in my life and my much smaller penis ached in my pants. Almost obsessively I sucked on his cock, loving the newness of this new sensation, perhaps wondering a little what might happen if I brought him to orgasm and he filled my mouth with semen. Being with Jessica was always a struggle to "measure up", "to be a man" and honestly I was never very good at it and very insecure in my relationships with girls, and though I could never verbalize it with them, they knew, they could smell the fear. This felt good. I felt sexy. I felt like taking my clothes off and being naked with Warren. It was just then Warren spoke again:

"You are a very pretty boy Billy. Take your clothes off. Let me see you."

I sat on the floor and took off my shoes and socks. Unlike Warren I did not wear a tie to dinner and unbuttoned my shirt and took it off. Standing up I unfastened my trousers and pulled them down, stepping out of them. Perhaps a little embarrassed, I stood there in only my underwear with my excited penis tenting in front. Unlike the boxers that Warren and most guys wear, I was in my "tightie whities" briefs, though they were not actually white today, they were deep orange with a lime green waistband and "Diesel" in bold letters around the band. Jessica always gave me grief about my underwear choices, sometimes with a smirk saying I could "borrow her panties anytime."

On display for Warren, he raised his hand to mine to beckon me closer. Standing between his legs it was heaven to be admired, to be desired. With both hands he caressed my nearly naked body starting with my underwear clad penis. The touch of his manly hand over my penis nearly made my knees buckle as his other hand moved up my belly and fondled my nipples on my hairless chest. No one had ever shown much interest in my body, so to be attended to like this I shivered inside discovering this uncharted side of my sexuality.

One of Warren's hands wandered to my back side cupping and fondling my little butt. His hand slipped inside to touch the flesh of my buns and he gave them a little squeeze before pulling my briefs down to my knees for me to step out of. My suntan was actually quite pronounced and as Warren admired me, the whiteness of my little white bottom contrasted with the burnt umber of my Florida tan. With one hand on my bottom and the other now fondling my naked penis, tacky and sticky with pre-cum and just about to explode Warren muttered:

"Wow! Simply beautiful!"

Honestly I had never felt more sexually alive in my entire life as I did at this moment. Here I was with my clothes off in front of a naked handsome masculine man who was admiring me, pawing me, fondling my private parts. Can't really explain why but I had this immense feeling of femininity being on display and being toyed with by a man. I was still a boy but certainly felt rather like a girl at this point. With one hand Warren continued to pull on my hard little dick and toy with my little round butt with his other hand. His middle finger slid between my butt cheeks and pressed against my tight little bung hole, making me moan at the sensation. Jessica knew how much fingering me excited me and would do it so I would cum quickly when we fucked so she could roll over and go to sleep. At this moment I felt for sure that I was going to squirt into Warren's hand. We gazed into each other's eyes in a fog of sweet passion.

Taking both of my hands into his he pulled me onto his lap as I melted into his arms. In a most natural movement Warren slid his mouth over mine as he began to kiss me. I had never kissed a man before and this new experience further increased my sense of femininity. His mouth forced against mine as I eagerly returned his kiss. I was gasping for breath as his masculine tongue invaded my mouth and the stubble from his face gave our homosexual kissing me a new sensation.

I had no adult experience or expectations about gay contact but being here naked in Warren's arms I shivered inside with the sexual excitement I felt. Our kissing was ravenous, hungry, passionate. Warren's breath on my face, his tongue in my ear and hand on my penis was driving me wild beyond belief. Never in my life had I experienced these feelings, these sensations, a sexual stimulation like this. I never felt manly, confident or the least bit in control of the relationship with Jessica. I don't think it was her overt intention, more like her just doing it because of our relationship dynamic, but really in so many ways and so many words she emasculated me. I was so unhappy inside of myself with her, I felt inadequate, ashamed of my masculinity. Now with Warren I felt alive and I felt very, very feminine.

"Do you have any secrets you want to tell me?" Warren whispered in my ear after a long hungry kiss and his face nuzzling my face and neck. "I think you might have been a bad boy."

"I'm... I'm...not sure," I muttered, not exactly certain what he was getting at or where this was leading.

"If you don't tell me I may have to spank you. Do you want me to spank you young man?" he asked rather menacingly in a low husky voice.

In disbelief of what he had just said I looked into his eyes in shock and perhaps a little terror. I wanted to kiss him again and make his words go away but by then he had already moved my naked body onto his naked lap.

"You have such a pretty little bottom," Warren uttered, his big hard cock sticking straight up as he pawed my round white tushie with his manly hands. "Such a pretty little bottom for such a naughty boy."

Without warning the soft quiet of the room was broken by the thunderous whack of his palm of his big hand on the tender flesh of my boyish bottom.

WHACK! WHAP! WHAP! Three more hard slaps hit my ass with a ferocity I honestly was not expecting. It hurt! Tears welled up in my eyes. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Another three wicked spanks as hard as he could deliver them rained down on my ass. My hard little penis shrivelled soft in fear as uncontrollably I let loose a whimper and tried to stifle a sniffle. Warren then gently rubbed and kneaded my stinging bottom, bright pink and throbbing.

Expecting another assault I cowered and sniffled uncontrollably, I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. Warren continued massaging my tender bottom as I waited for another spanking. When he slid his middle finger between my ass cheeks I thought I might be out of the woods. He reached under and fondled my shrivelled little penis, it was sticky with pre cum. Warren rolled his fingers over the head of my penis gathering up a drop or two of pre cum on his middle finger and inserting it into my tight little bung hole. His finger slid right in about an inch as he fingered me in this naughty manner.

"There. Doesn't that feel better now?" Warren said in a gentle tone as my fear of being spanked again subsided and my erection returned. "Can you tell Daddy your secrets now?" as he lifted me back into his arms. We kissed hungrily. I clung tightly to him as his hard penis pressed against me.

"Tell Daddy your secrets Hun, tell me," he whispered huskily as we kissed again.

"Tell me Sweetie, do you have a girlfriend?" he inquired. I nodded affirmative. "What's her name?"

"Jessica," I whispered, barely audible.

"Do you wear Jessica's panties?" He asked. In disbelief that he would ask me that, I looked him in the eyes in shock, open mouthed and perhaps terrified he would spank me again if I did not answer.

"Do you like to wear her panties?" Warren asked again.

Nearly panicking inside but in truth feeling absolutely incredible being naked in Warren's arms I nodded and a gasped out a soft "yes."

"Tell Daddy how wearing her panties make you feel?"

"Wonderful," I blurted out. "Liked a girl," I added softly.

"Do you put on her dresses and play with her makeup?"

We looked straight into each other's eyes. Slowly I nodded my head 'yes' again. How did he know? How would he surmise these things about me? Did my easy acceptance of sucking his cock and the way I melted in his arms and how we kissed lead him to think these things because of my innate femininity? Was my hidden self that obvious to him? Did it show to other people without me knowing it?

Crossdressing in Jessica's panties and clothing was a secret world that no one knew about. Till now. It was a world that both excited me beyond belief yet it scared me too. It felt so right to traipse around in her panties and bras and dresses and bikini swimsuits and then masturbate to some mind bending orgasms even though I knew it was wrong. And now these unknown desires of my latent homosexuality were manifest as I was naked here with Warren.

"You would make a very pretty girl. Any man would want you Sweetie," he whispered in my ear.

"I want to be your girl," I replied softly, playfully. I did. The thought of dressing up for him sent me into thoughts of naughty abandon.

"Be a good girl then and suck my cock, Billy."

We kissed a hungry passionate kiss before I slid down and pressed my face into his cock. Its scent was intoxicating but the sensation of its taste, the sensation of the flesh of his sex organ as I wrapped my lips around the beast drove me wild. It felt so natural to have my mouth around his cock, to have my mouth so full of cock, to pay homage to his cock as I bobbed up and down on it. I used my tongue on the underside of his cock as I gobbled for more and more cock in my mouth.

Almost three quarters of his cock made it down my throat before I came up gasping for breath and then attacked it again with a hungry fervor to please Warren, to pleasure his cock like no one had ever done to me. Being naked sucking a man's cock was exhilarating, all the stigma about being gay, about gay sex vanished as the excitement of knowing what it was like to be a 'cocksucker' made my little hard peeny tingle with the newness of it all.

"Oh, Billy, you are such a pretty little cocksucker," Warren exasperated. "Do you like being called a cocksucker?" as he looked me right in the eyes. With a mouthful of his cock I nodded "yes" going up and down on his cock. Being called a cocksucker as I was sucking one was strangely exciting, my little penis was so hard.

"Suck it Honey, suck my cock Billy, I knew you'd like it," he went on as he rubbed the palm of his hand across my face and through my hair. His breathing was heavier, his rigid, big cock was stationary as I thrust my mouth over it in a steady rhythm of sucking.

With his thick manly cock in my mouth Warren held my head in place in both of his hands controlling the pace of my sucking and guiding it deeper. Its taste was so strange, a fleshy masculine taste, testosterone laden as I tried to process the experience. I bobbed my mouth over his engorged penis for many, many, long cocksucking minutes. My own little peeny was hard as stone as I shivered inside with the exciting, naughty feeling being naked with a man and discovering that deep down I knew I most certainly was a faggot and that I had never been this sexually aroused by being with a girl. Then it happened. Warren gripped my head firmly as his penis ejaculated huge gobs of warm cum into my mouth. With him holding my head in place I had no choice but to suck down his semen, though it made me partially gag on the taste.