Under The Stairs

Soon I was tracking her phone leaving work and driving to her boss's house. I remembered the moment this had all kicked off; when her odometer had warned me. Now this was the moment it could all fall apart. What if they stayed there? I knew her plan was to return here, but plans can change. She waited ages; maybe he was picking up his overnight stuff. Or maybe they were having a quickie. I was just starting to get concerned when she was in motion again. But now what? They weren't coming here! Shit! They headed into town. But the panic was soon over. I knew that street. They were getting a pizza.

"Take these straight to the basement, under the stairs." she said. "I'll open a bottle of wine."

"This door's the wrong way round." he called up.

"Don't worry, there's plenty of keys."

I heard the pop of a bottle and glasses wobbling on a tray.

I stayed where I was while they settled. I did not hear the basement door close. No problem, I'll do that for them. I gave them ten minutes to get their hands full of pizza, wine, and each other. I double-checked I still had all three basement keys, then grabbed the Dictaphone and crept down the newly carpeted stairs.

I peeked around the doorway and took in the scene. Her boss was sitting on the sofa, wearing silk boxers and holding a glass of my best red. Janice was topless and he was smearing Burgundy on her nipples. She was nibbling a slice of meat feast. Appropriate really. It was something of a shock to see her wearing black stockings and suspenders. I'd never seen them before and presumed she changed at work. The two of them were illuminated by the tree lights. The tv was on, and the dvd had been paused at the moment of oral entry. The porn actress was also wearing black stockings.

"I brought your other Christmas present!" I shouted, holding up the little cassette player.

Their reaction was classic. He managed to slosh wine into his eyes. As he rubbed them, Janice dropped the pizza onto her little black thong. Lover boy could lick that up later, if he could find it in the dark. She watched open-mouthed as I placed it on the floor, just inside the door. They just had time to say 'What?' before I withdrew and closed it. They were locked in, but I twisted the double lock anyway.

I waited a couple of minutes, listening; did I mention the basement was soundproof? The banging on the steel door was barely audible, even down here. Eventually I presumed they'd found some clothes. Then Janice began the fruitless attempt to unlock, first with her key, then the spare one. If she'd only been outside the house trying to get in, she'd have had more luck. I think I heard her pick up the Dictaphone. Finally, the panic shouting started.

I had one last task before going. There was an isolation switch outside the door. I closed it and waited a moment in the dark, imagining what was happening inside. The lights, tv, dvd, would shut off instantly. They never would get to see that porn star's mouth invaded. Or any other mouth come to that. Their phones wouldn't work, and the underfloor heating would only stay warm for a couple of hours.

In fact, the only electrical item that would work, was the cassette player I'd left them. I climbed the stairs and when I closed the door at the top, I couldn't hear them shouting and knocking. I would have to retrieve that Dictaphone, and get rid of Janice's front door keys, before I called the police. I knew what I'd say to them.

'We had a terrible row officer, she wanted me to go away over Christmas. I told her many times to make sure she had the right keys; there are two. I was going to get the door changed next week, so it could be locked from the inside.'

The house was dark when I walked back to the hotel. Early start tomorrow; catching the Edinburgh train.

Epilogue

"But you said he'd arrived in Edinburgh!"

"He had. Maybe he flew back. I told you he was acting suspiciously."

"Pity you didn't act on those suspicions."

"That's right, blame it all on me. It's not helping though!"

"How long do you think he'll leave us down here?"

"Not very long; he's just making a point. Ah, I think this must be Play."

'Hi babe. Good job lover boy thinks you're so hot. You'll be needing to do something to keep warm. The weather forecast says it'll freeze tonight by the way. I'm off to Scotland now. I'll be staying the weekend. In fact, as my mum is half Scottish. I may as well stay through to Hogmanay. I'll see you when I get back in the new year. Though you won't see me of course! I'll give your love to mum!'