Underneath Ch. 03 - FINAL CHAPTER

"Sure, have a nice meeting."

I nodded and left the stall, closing the door behind me, so he could collect himself and get dressed again.

Walking back to my office I felt like shit.

I knew he wanted something... more. I did not give it to him, it was apparent.

***

The next day I decided not to go with the main influx of people again and went to the cafeteria as the last person. The food server - an older man, glowered at me with furrowed brows.

Not my problem.

I was determined not to see Nicholas again with Alice at his side. I really did not want to know why it started to become an issue for me.

It's not like I wanted a relationship with him, right?

RIGHT???

After the meeting I decided to do something... so very uncharacteristic of me. I headed toward the SEO Department, led by Joe Martinez, my... rather good friend. I found him in the break room, preparing coffee.

I started with small talk but after two minutes of babbling, I went straight to the topic that was of main interest to me.

The wretched annual questionnaires.

"Listen, I happen to have heard that one guy is about to get fired if he does not have these questionnaires ready, but he is too afraid to ask you for them..."

Martinez raised his eyebrows. "Wait. Are you talking about that little idiot from HR that has been nagging me for the last few weeks like... non-stop? He is insufferable, really. Good, I hope they fire him. He really needs to stop being such a pain in the ass."

I felt a strange wave of anger. I could not listen to him insulting Nicholas, and that was so strange as not more than a week before - I was the one thinking about him exactly the same way.

"Listen, Joe, it's not his fault. Jones is giving him a hard time, he needs this date for his annual presentation next week. The boy is not behind it. He's just doing what Jones wants."

"So let Jones come to me, and he can ask himself, instead of sending me his annoying little minion..."

I clenched my jaws. I could not listen to him insulting Nicholas anymore.

"Joe. Your department will not be included in the presentation for the company board. The boy will be fired, but as a director, you will also look bad. Just saying! You do what you want."

I shrugged and marched toward the exit, but heard Martinez swearing something in a hushed voice.

Just after that I went to Randolph's office, the head of the IT-support Department.

He was having a meeting, so I had to go back to my office, but I tried again about an hour later.

Randolph seemed busy, but upon seeing me, he raised his eyebrows. He was actually my former boss, as I started my career in his department. I was still in college then, majoring in Computer Science. It was a good opportunity for me, before I advanced to a system designer career.

There was no time, I couldn't small-talk him into the topic, so I just went directly to the point. He listened to me and said:

"I wish I could do that, Jess, but I have two meetings today and three more tomorrow. I can't do this now... And my workers are in the field, some with clients; I can't gather them and order them to complete these questionnaires in such a short amount of time."

I hesitated. "What if I could do them for you? I did them for my workers, as they had a big workload last week."

I could see a sudden flash of light in his eyes.

"You would? It's quite a task."

"Yes, I would; Miller had problems because of me, so I kinda owe him one," I lied.

"Well, in that case, I can give you limited access to my workers' database, just enough to fill the required fields." I could see he jumped to the occasion as fast as he could. It was a golden opportunity to avoid a tiresome task.

He smiled "I owe you one, Jess!"

"Don't mention it!"

So, I took the questionnaires home that day and, before long, I was swearing a lot - why was I stupid enough to agree to do this in the first place?

I worked on them for 8 hours straight and finished only at 2 AM, barely conscious. I just fell on my bed, without an ounce of strength left in me.

The morning was hard for me, I drove to work yawning like crazy. I got to Randolph's office, straight after getting into the building. His eyes widened upon seeing me.

"Are you serious, Moretti!? You did all that work last night?"

"I don't even want to talk about it. I'm going to make myself the biggest cup of coffee I can find in this building."

"Hey, wait!"

He stood up and got weirdly close to me. He leaned in a bit and said:

"Why did you do that, Jess? Tell me the truth. It's a lot. Nobody does such things without a good reason."

His eyes bore into mine. There was a super-small moment I hesitated and that made him narrow his eyes even more.

"It's just a favor I had to return."

He smirked. "Well, big favor. But I'm in your debt as well. So, I'm not gonna press the matter further."

He winked and stepped back.

I shrugged and quickly left his office. Wow, that was weird. Did he catch something? What I did was a big deal, for sure... However, I just... wanted to do it. I could not understand why.

About one hour later I got a message on Messenger.

It was from Nicholas.

I just received questionnaires from Martinez and Randolph. Martinez came into our office and said: "Somebody prompted me to do this..." After half an hour Randolph came as well, and said: "I would not spend half my night doing this. But you're lucky somebody did. He must like you very much." And he left. I'm guessing that was you. Why did you do that, Jess?

I chose not to answer that message as I had nothing to say to him. I would rather not be bothered by such questions, mainly because I had no clear answers.

So, I left him without a reply.

***

And then, there was Friday.

Our company organized a party for our branch that evening and a big crowd of people was going to show up. Should I join them?

I was not in the mood, especially knowing Johan would be all over Jessica and I would be there as a third-wheeler. But for some reason I finally decided to go. Even if it would mean I would have to torture myself noticing things I really didn't want to notice. Nevertheless, I needed to know what I would feel, seeing him with her.

Maybe I could get my head clear then?

There was a chance I would be able to get him out of my system once and for all, if I saw him in her arms?

I should. This could not have any future. I was not gay, and he probably was not altogether gay either, if he wanted to date her. It was pointless anyway.

So around 8:00 PM I parked in a big parking lot adjacent to the club. As the club was in the suburban part of the city, there was no need to fight for a parking spot.

I walked by the entrance, showing my magnetic card that we used in the company building, and I was let inside by two bodyguards.

I found Johan almost immediately. He was swaying with Jessica on the dance floor, making weird robotic dance moves and obviously having fun, as I almost sagged back against the wall, scanning the entire dancing stage but not finding Nicholas anywhere.

Feeling not so good I noticed some of my friends and was about to saunter toward them, but spotted Randolph among them. I felt his eyes scanning me. He smirked weirdly, and he made a small gesture behind and to the left of him. Strange.

I followed his move with my eyes. I knew now why he was pointing there...

I noticed Alice and Nicholas sitting in the corner, among other tables occupied by different coworkers. I sort of froze when I saw them together. I wanted to remain cool and calm, but somehow I felt annoyed again.

I turned my head again and Randolph was standing next to me.

"Looks like you have competition..."

What was I supposed to say?

"It's not what you think, I was in his debt..."

"Yeah, sure, sure. I kinda always felt you swing that way. I have superb gaydar."

"What?! What are you talking about? I'm straight as can be..."

"Okay, okay. Five stages of... whatever. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Do you know which phase you're in? Anger? Try not to mess up too much because of it."

I - again - chose not to respond. Only turned around and wanted to go, but he grabbed my hand.

"I'm not judging you. I play for the same team, you know."

I stood there paralyzed a bit, but soon enough I freed my hand and marched toward the bar to start getting buzzed. I needed it, for sure.

Soon I took shots of various types of alcohol to get wasted quicker and more efficiently.

I sat on a bar stool and started to pound one after another, watching mindlessly as Johan went crazy with Jessica on the dance floor. Soon, in a surprising twist, I noticed Alice pulling Nicholas toward the stage by the hand.

The songs they played were a bit old school, Tom Jones "It's Not Unusual", Christina Aguilera "Candyman", Shakira "Whenever, Wherever" and so on. But people were definitely dancing like crazy to the cheerful, lively melodies, perfect for silly monkey dancing.

I bore my eyes on Nicholas' slender frame, as he went with Alice on stage the moment "Candyman" started. And soon I was... gaping!

Wow!

The HR worker... could actually dance! I was in shock. Alice was doing rather poorly compared to him. He made a perfect, classic swing dance with her, squeezing all he could out of her, swirling her around and encouraging to do free spins and bendings back.

Fuck, looking at his slender, flexible body, I noticed, of course, increased blood flow toward my groin, but along with it - a new kind of admiration. The inconspicuous office worker was full of surprises.

Well, I could appreciate good dancing talent as I was once into breakdancing myself, during my college years. I loved it and I kinda imagined I could go up and ask him to dance.

Weird thought for sure as I never danced with a man before, and it would be shocking to everybody, so I rejected this idea at once, but... I could not stop staring at him. With my peripheral, I could see Randolph glancing at me with a triumphant smirk.

Yeah, what the hell, I was not gonna deprive myself of this sexy view of my Nicholas on stage...

Wait, what? What was an extra "my" doing inside my thoughts' stream?

I was going crazy, alcohol started to take its toll on me, and I'd only had a couple of drinks.

They all were dancing like crazy to "It's Not Unusual" and I was staring at Nicholas almost non-stop, barely glancing at Alice, who just looked funny next to him, with her stiff moves and non-moving hips. Typical way of dancing for a person who never had one dance lesson in her/his life.

I was once fairly proficient in Latin American dances and even some ballroom dances. I could pull off some nice rumba and samba moves and even spin around the room in a waltz. But, hey - it's not like I could dance with Nicholas at a company party. Sadly.

Suddenly, the mood changed.

The DJ decided to give people some time to rest, and the sounds of Christina Perri - "A Thousand Years" filled the club space. People started to dance more slowly, and stand much closer to each other, as a result of the tempo changing.

I watched (in horror?) as Alice raised her hands and embraced Nicholas by the neck, almost gluing herself to him.

I hated her to the bones.

I gulped down the whole drink. Yes, everything was all right. Just peachy. Perfect, fucking peachy perfect. I was cool as a cucumber. No fucks given.

And then the next thing happened. I noticed that Alice lifted her hands even higher, putting them on the back of Nicholas' head. And she pulled him rather forcefully down... into a kiss.

I felt a hand on my shoulder again.

"Pity, he doesn't know you dance so much better than her. I remember you from some company evening like that some years ago. You can move those hips!"

Randolph's voice was just over my ear.

"Excuse me," I said in a hoarse tone and stood up. I marched across the club, passing the stage in the process; my eyes caught the gaze of Nicholas, who was still leaning in for the kiss. Over Alice's curly black hair, he looked at me. I had an impassive face, I made sure of that.

And I left the club.

I had no fucking need to stay there, and to feel this ridiculous jealousy. It wasn't me. I was never the jealous, crazy, obsessive person. I never cared enough.

Why should it be any different now?

He obviously chose Alice, probably a better choice.

And this super-strong need to kick something so fucking hard that it would break - was most likely some crazy anomaly in my mind, right?

Nobody with a residue of self-respect would do such a thing.

And that's why I actually kicked some poor trash bin and the trash scattered around... Yep.

I felt slightly better, moving between parked cars, hoping nobody saw my immature burst of anger.

As I got to my car I realized that it wasn't the best idea to drive while tipsy. I was always a great opponent of driving under the influence, so I just sat inside my car and leaned my forehead on the wheel.

I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times.

Well, he kind of made the decision for me, and it was probably for the best.

I closed my eyes because even knowing it all, I felt... I felt... fuck.

Not happy. Not happy at all.

With a bit of a trembling hand I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened Nicholas' picture. Why did I not kiss him in the fucking restroom stall?

Why did I let the chance slip by like that?

Knock, knock, knock!

I jumped in my seat.

Somebody was knocking on my car's window.

The phone fell out of my hand, and I didn't even reach for it; as I raised my head, my eyes met his eyes.

Nicholas.

Just great...

Well, I couldn't stay inside and ignore him. So, I swallowed and opened the door, to slowly get out of the car.

As I stood up, I leaned on the car's side and only then glanced at him. He looked rather calm and normal, but he was observing me with some kind of curiosity.

"Hello, Nick. What's up?" I asked, trying to sound very relaxed and cool.

"Ah, just hanging in there. How 'bout you?"

"I've been better."

He looked aside, biting this lip.

I watched him closely. The evening wind was ruffling his longish strands, throwing them on his face. In the streetlamp's light they looked almost rusty. The light reflections on his glasses were in a way hiding his eyes. He had his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. I never before saw him in a normal Tommy Hilfiger's white long sleeve.

He looked even younger and very... sexy.

Then he made a small step toward me. We were now within a hand's reach.

"Were you looking at my picture in the car?"

Fuck, well. He caught me.

"I probably was." I straightened up my back. What the hell, I was not gonna lie and curl up like a scared puppy.

He wanted the truth, he's gonna get it.

He said nothing, just looked at me. I could not read him all that well.

"You dance very well, Nick," I said with a light tone.

"Thanks."

He stepped even a bit closer.

I could sense his scent now, soap, shaving gel and a small tinge of fresh, male sweat. Well, he was dancing for almost half an hour.

Only inhaling the faint smell of him - I started getting hard.

Fuck, it was bad. I wanted to lick the sweat off his lithe body, taste the saltiness...

"Did you stay half of the night to finish Randolph's questionnaires for me?"

The question was asked. He needed an answer - now.

So, I answered in a single breath.

"I did."

"Did you prompt Martinez to do them in one day?"

"I did."

"But why?"

And the silence lingered a bit longer. I couldn't answer because I didn't know what to say.

So, I decided to ask my own question, as I believed that it's what he was really waiting for.

"Are you with her, Nick?"

He slowly exhaled, and rubbed his cheek.

"Am I, Jess? Or am I with someone else? You answer me," he said slowly, his face very close to mine.

My heart was beating fast, too fast. I even had some trouble taking another breath. His lips, the same lips Alice was kissing a couple of minutes earlier, were so close to me. Mine, to take? Pink, and parted and looking so soft, so... inviting.

Once I fought the urge to kiss them.

Hell to the no - not this time!

I put my hands on his hips and pulled him toward me. He made a small sound of surprise.

Our eyes met and locked because we both seemed to like it. Our breaths were mixing.

I slowly cupped his face with my hands, feeling with my fingertips the very faint trace of Nicholas' evening stubble, an oddly erotic reminder of his masculinity that made me even harder, even more wanting - of his body, but weirdly enough, wanting of more than just that...

Then I leaned my head down very slowly, giving him time, if he wanted to use it to back out. But he stayed in place, eyes big, wide open, trusting...

And I very softly touched his lips with my lips. Just a first brush, so light, so gentle...

His hands unhurriedly slid over my chest, as I gradually deepened my kiss. He parted his lips in such an inviting way, that my dick jerked in my pants. Our tongues touched; at first, it was just a delicate, subtle rub, but I could not be calm, holding him in my arms. I deepened the kiss even more, sliding my tongue into his pliant mouth that was now slack and wide open, totally under my control. The intensity of the kiss slowly increased. We were almost merging with each other, tightly embraced. Soon I started to almost fuck him that way, rubbing over his tongue, sliding over his teeth, sucking on his plump lower lip, tasting him, devouring.

I could feel his dick pressing hard on my balls, and nothing else in the world mattered apart from where our bodies were connected: lips melding, hands clutching each other, quiet, involuntary moans we both were making...

I moved my hand up, to touch his hair and let my fingers slide through it. Nicholas made a long, whimpering moan that made me go crazy. I pulled him even tighter to me, moving my lips toward his neck. I wanted this from the moment I saw him in the streetlamp light, golden glowing, sexy and alluring.

The taste of his skin... I could not describe it. I read somewhere that people get off more on the pheromones of some people than others. Nicholas definitely had some perfect pheromones to my taste. I latched onto his skin and sucked it hard, knowing that I would leave him a hickey. I didn't fucking care! I wanted him to be mine, to mark him, for everybody to see. For fucking Alice to see.

"You want an answer..." I muttered between long licks. "You are mine, so fucking mine, I want you, Nicholas. I want to... be inside you. I need this. Will you let me?"

His head was tilted back, but he opened his eyes and I saw his dilated, huge pupils. In the streetlight his eyes seemed like pure gold.

"So, take me home, Jess, make love to me... Please."

I licked over his Adam's apple and under his jawline. "I will, baby, I will... but. There is a but."

He winked and looked at me attentively.

"I think YOU need to take me home, as I'm a bit tipsy. So, you will drive, does that sound okay to you?"

I pressed the keys into his palm.

He chuckled and looked at them.

"Aaaa, yeah, sure."

I let him go, reluctantly. Our hard-ons were rather obvious. I smiled and he smiled.

We got into the car and we drove off.

Nicholas was driving, and I was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at his profile, in a passing, flickering streetlamp's light. His hair was ruffled by our kisses and his lips were a bit swollen. So sexy.

"I've never slept with a man, Nicholas." I said, tilting my head a bit back.

He gave me a quick glance, and licked his lips.

"Me neither."

"Are you afraid?"

"Not really. I just know you'll make it... into a good experience."

Weirdly, I felt his words in my dick, which was, to be honest, continuously hard since I saw him in the parking lot. "I'll try my best, Nick." I hesitated for a second. "But what I want is not only sex. I apologize for the way I treated you last week."