All Comments on 'Unexpected Interest Ch. 01'

please continue with the story, really enjoyed the beginning

Good first effort.

This reads as if English is not your first language, in some parts. With the help of an editor, this will be a better read. Good luck.

I like the content of the story as well as the length of the chapter. I hate to agree with the previous commenter but the tense changes (past to present, first to third person, etc) do detract from what is otherwise a stellar story. Sometimes an editor is hard to find so my biggest recommendation is to read aloud exactly whats written before submitting...that's the method I use anyway :-D Can't wait to see more from you and good job!

This was HOT! I love the storyline! And I love how he's so intrigued with her figure! Please please please continue!

I really enjoyed it, a few errors here and there, but still a great storyline. Looking forward to round 2.

Minimum errors but still very readable. I can't wait to see where these two go! They have good chemistry so I can't wait for further character development of them.

Loving the advice but their all going in different directions! Lol, I know I need an editor and I was unaware that I switch tenses up. Hm, will be watching for that :)

My comment is to keep writing. Your work is good and will only improve. I too am awaiting the next part of this story. :)

I thought this was super hot and I'd love to edit your second chapter. Your story is also genuinely sentimental; I think that's what makes it stand out for your readers.

Congratulations on ur 1st post! I think u've set the pace just right! Enjoying how ur characters relationship is progressing, but not too fast! I'm luvin it & u can add me 2 the list of members waiting eagerly 4 the nxt ch/post! Thanx 4 sharing!

You've done well for your first post, good characterization and pacing.

Enjoyed it very much...can not wait to read the next one!!

Wonderful!!!

There could be a little better flow and editing throughout, but this is a cute story! There was also a section of this story that kind of took me by surprise and that was when Natasha lit into Bobby on the golf course about acting like her father. The moment was so off-the-wall and just so... I don't know... bipolar! I was reading it and saying to myself, "Okay, someone is on medication, didn't tell us, and for damn sure didn't take their last dosage." I'm joking a bit but, yeah, that was a strange moment in the story. Still, like I said, very cute so far and I hope you continue.

GREAT first chapter....I cant wait for the next chapter in Bobby and Natasha adventure. You did an excellant job! - AD

great job waiting for more.

>.< SO GOOD OMG I WANT MORE OMG I SHOULDA WAITED TIL U PUT MORE HFGVshfVHJFBVJHDVBJHNB OMG IMA CRY

Wonderful start. I cant wait for more. Very sweet so far. I like that.

I love this chapter but its kinda choppy; iron out the wrinkles and fine tune it just a little. But overall this is a great beginning, keep up the good work.

Hope theres more to the Story and Maybe Bobby could run into Terrance and put him in his Place the Dirt.

I love this story, yes, this is good stuff here!

but this story desperately needs to be edited.

These two are hot, sexy, funny, and smart. Fantastic start to something wonderful.

They're quite a few grammatical errors that got to me while I was reading but I love the story so far.

I've read this story a million times and it's always so good. You need to write a books!

Enjoying the beginning...looking forward to more!

Slow and easy gets it, to bad they can't read each other's mind as it appears this might be a totally different story. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.