All Comments on 'Unicorn'

I enjoyed your story very much. You've created solid characters and a smooth narrative. I hope that you will continue. A little self-editing advice. Never trust spell check. Oh, it is accurate to a fault. But, it allowed the word 'wear' to sub for the word 'where' that you intended. Use Goggle for proper nouns. Print your story out and read it aloud. You will find mistakes in grammar etc. Then read it again and again until you are satisfied what you see is what you intended. It works, I promise.

An exceptionally good first story, wonderful sweetness and romance. Looking forward to more.

Nice slow build to the ending. Interesting characters. And the narrative flowed well. I honestly think it could actually have been longer. All in all a great debut!

Great debut, I agree with a previous poster. This could certainly have gone longer, due to the fact it was about the characters and not just the sex. Would love to see you expand on this, whether it be long distance or something else. Cheers!

Damn, I didn't want it to end. For being your first submission, this was great. I look forward to more of your work. Five ★ worthy.

This really was a very good piece of writing...especially with it being your first submission. I, like several others who have commented on your work, would really like to read more of your stories in the future. Perhaps there can be a continuation of this story... as the story of Kim and Mandy as a couple continues to develop. Will Kim feel comfortable enough to be with Mandy in public as more than just friends? What do their mothers say about this progression? I'd really like to see where their story goes from this point forward. Thanks for sharing your writing with us! I am a fan :)

I was so compelled to keep on reading, and not a lot of stories really keep me interested till the end. I’ve never asked this before, but are you writing a second part to this? I actually really loved this and would love to read more about these characters. The way you wrote this reminded me of when I was younger and the feelings that went through my head then. I would be really surprised if you yourself weren’t at least 18-24 because you captured adolescent love so perfectly. I know they’re in college, but even then we’re still just kids, right? I’m swooning! Also, like the others have said, there are things you should work on in your writing, but they’re only minor editing flaws. The story itself had great flow and profound simplicity. Please keep on writing!

You could leave this here and I'd be happy but a sequel would definitely be hot. Five stars!

wow what a beautiful story . awesome writing skills . can i plead for a sequel ? . thanks heaps for posting this story . yeah i love queer love stories . hugs from me.

I really liked the two girls, and their relationship.

The sex scene was really amazing,

Good work, and a huge thanks for the effort you put into this.

wonderful! I agree with all the comments that this needs a sequel or 2. Not just becausr I would like to continue reading abt the 2 characters but more to do with the STORY REALLY DESERVES ONE!!! There alot of things to be explored... will they survive being away after the summer... and more. So I hope you wont end this story here.

Very nicely written

Oh my God!!!

If this story ends here, it’s incomplete... I love the story, not the ending... Sorry

Your story was great. It didn't need anymore!

This is what I come on here for.

Very enjoyable read. Hope you share more stories with us. Thank you.

I really enjoyed this story, not overly long and drawn out, but still long enough to properly flesh out the characters and the plot. Thank you for sharing this with us!

I hope you'll continue their story, would like to see what happens next.

Don't care which ending you post, just post something. If it's as good as this one, you'll have happy fans.

You're my new favorite author can't wait to read new stories you'll come up with.

I'll be looking for new stories from you, if you continue posting stories like this, you've gotten a number one fan.

Amazing story and characters. I'll be honest though the sex scene was so hot I really really wish there was more to it... but overall so good!

I have read both your stories twice now. I am a fan.

This was so satisfying, you have no idea. I love the characters and especially the sex scene. Please write more!!!!

Would have given you five stars but the end sex scene was (good) rushed. I really like the characters and would love to see you take this cliff hanger to a Chapter two. I’d really like to see more of their story. I hope you decided to! If you decide that you want to continue with this story...please open right where you left off. The last scene!! Good work!

A story, not just sex!!

FOR A FIRST STORY IT DESERVES 10 STARS. PLEASE, PLEASE KEEP SHARING YOUR TALENT.

To be honest with whoever right now..I have read 10+ different kinds of stories on here, but this right here, this unicorn is something else. It has everything (plot,description,direction, conversation) you name it. For a start !

Real, not just graphic sex. I loved it, and I try to pattern my writing in the same way, but I feel now that I have come up short. You have a wonderful way of describing the situations - keep it up please!

I read Hazel and now here I am again. Amazing!

Just Wonderful!

I really loved reading this story, and do know how or why I previously missed it. I am now on to reading Unicorn Ch. 02.

Definitely 5*-Star Rated For Me🎉!!!!

Oh yeah what a dramatic event, kissing the best friend and feeling like smashing all into the gutters ...... Poor sweet girl ...... Great storie, looking forward to the next chapters ...... Fantastic

5 stars, here you go.

Beautifully written, even with just a few typos. No problem though, the characters are soooo lovely.

A beautiful little story with a lot packed in.

Please continue!