All Comments on 'Unintentional Betrayal'

when best intentions fail to convince, TK U MLJ LV NV

Am looking forward to further submissions.

One thing though. Someone with his law enforcement background would have contacts and resources to visit a bit more biblical justice on Connie. Had hoped you would have taken that avenue.

The very fact that she went on a date regardless of the outcome is reason for divorce. No man or woman that cared about their spouse, child or marriage would ever do something like that. Her total lack of love and respect is the reason for the divorce. It must be noted that behavior is not even close to normal for a person. She is definitely mentally ill, most likely some kind of un-treatable personality disorder. She certainly should not have been left alone with their son.

A good story, but as some comment said it's difficult to accept that a man with twenty years of police work, couldn't find a way to get a hard revenge on the rapist...This weakens the story...About the wife: what she did, the disrespect she showed was enough to end any marriage, rape or no rape...3*

lAlthough she was drugged, She deserved what she got, I would have liked to have seen Connie killed in a slow painful beat down and buried alive with Joe getting away with it.

To believe that a woman could think her husband, or any man would believe her going out clubbing with some guy from work would not end a relationship of any kind. She mignt as well have said "you are served".

The betrayal was going out on a date! An intelligent woman and decent wife would have proposed that she and her husband take this guy out to celebrate, or even more appropriate, invite him to dinner at their home, with her husband and son. The rape is irrelevant to the marriage breaking up, it only accelerated the ending. Its obvious this woman had no respect for her husband nor herself, and eventually the marriage would have ended for some other act of disrespect and ignorance. Its unfortunate such a stupid woman will continue to have influence over his son.

Well constructed tragic confluence of people and events. Good detail - Thanks for sharing. I hope you submit more of your work.

This is a very dangerous story. If I could make a few personal observations. #1 you successfully promoted how to get away with Rape and the legal arguments to support. #2 You glorified rapists by letting him walk away unscathed (lost job seriously?). #3 We are dimensionally opposite with our sense of justice (thank God). All that being said it takes all types to make the world turn and none are perfect. Keep writing you definatly have talent as a writer, looking forward to your next story. Thanks for sharing

Just another B.T.B story that should be in non erotic or fetish..

good story.

he should have atleast got the shit beat out of him though. don't worry about anti btb comments as they are most likely from people that like cuckold shit.

so keep writing, will look forward to your next one.

2* because he should have told her if she left with the other man not to return tonight and that he would see the lawyer tomorrow.

Why are just the two of them going out? Wouldn’t a group from the office be going? Or, as an Anon said, why not have him over for dinner or have husband join them, not to mention the obvious obfuscation with his name.

He has every right to be upset when she says she’s going out with “Connie” and a man shows up at the door, at the least, she has no right to be angry that he’s upset!

You desperately need an editor!

“was looking forward to a couple of hours on the dance floor with you.” Has an incorrect line break and a missing close quote, and the very next quote has “I said possibly more vehemently than I had intended” embedded in the quote!

“I felt powerless to move even though I knew I was getting aroused” – No you weren’t “powerless” to move, you didn’t WANT to move!

“THE BASTARD DRUGGED ME,” – That’s what I was thinking when she was so woozy after the drink that he had waiting for her.

It’s “semen” not “seamen”!

Yep, she’s exactly right, she would have reacted WORSE if an “Andy” turned out to be an “Andrea!”

Argh! Editing! “date rape, drugs” – No comma!

AGAIN: “wouldn't even suggest this, but in reality, it's not even close to that.” – incorrect line break and missing close quote!

The company admitted no wrong doing with two other harassment charges against him?!

Call me a mean bastard, but I'd like the new relationship to fall apart.

...depressing end of what was once a good marriage, the nature of the thing leaves readers feeling depressed.

Nothing wrong there! Who wouldn't feel that after going through what these characters did. Probably the worst of it is the quelled rage at the powerlessness of the couple to extract real justice from the predator. In better times, hubby would castrate him and parade his severed gonads around town as proof the threat to the women of the village was....removed. If the poor sod survived, he'd likely be beaten to death or forced from the village forever. More likely, other, less aggressive spouses may hang or stab him to death in a group execution.

Barbaric? Yes! Just? You damn skippy.

On the divorce...my daddy told me at a young age that if I didn't want to have trouble in my life, I should never be found where trouble happens.

Now the obvious is irrelevant, as the advice is sound and highly interpretive.....but sound. It has stood the test of time and saved me from serious...challenges.

If hubby had put his foot down, or wifey had been more forthcoming about her date, it never would have come to pass. She is an adult and purposely obfuscated the fact of "Connie's" gender. Hubby asked the question and the misunderstanding/miscommunication would have been obvious to anyone. This is the mess that never should have happened. Divorce was nearly a forgone conclusion by the time hubby got to the hospital. It was clear that wifey had been a damn fool. No married woman, no matter how "enlightened" she is has any business going on a date with anyone but her husband. And make no mistake, it was a date.

Well written, tragic and far too typical. Thank you.

Sad ending. Keep writing.

He should have told him to leave the house immediately and tell her if you go out you won't be coming home

Where to begin?

Well, first, congrats on your first submission. It's always good to see new writers here. You do have some talent as a writer, but you really need an editor, as there were so many mistakes (mostly punctuation) that it was distracting. In particular, your use (or non-use) of quotation marks was a hot mess.

Another tip: don't include any detail unless it's pertinent to the story. Heights, weights, dress sizes, job descriptions, teachers' names, meandering on women in the workforce, etc. all become distractions to readers. We assume you included the teacher's name, for example, for a reason. For the rest of the story we keep waiting for that name to pop up again, which distracts us from the plot.

In many ways, this story felt like it was told from a different era. Their son watches TV? No one under the age of 25 watches TV anymore. Chicken pot pie is junk food? A man at the door is a threat? I felt like I was watching a episode of All In the Family!

Another quibble: too many authors over-use the multiple first-person perspective. It wasn't necessary in this story. You could have written it from an third-person perspective and it would have been much more readable.

Okay, as to the plot, I found the entire story implausible and impossible to relate to any part of it. The husband is immediately suspicious when a man comes to the door. Without knowing anything about this man, he immediately assumes his wife is up to no good and labels himself a "cuckold." Is he that insecure? Or has his wife given him a reason to be so untrusting?

The wife's "date" with her co-worker makes zero sense. I've worked in offices for most of my life. Never once have I ever heard of anyone going out to dinner and dancing with a co-worker -- especially not when one of them was married. There is a level of professionalism in an office that separates work from leisure. What makes less sense, though, is why the wife wouldn't back out of this "date" after learning that her husband was such an insecure twat.

The "rape drug" plot device is used WAY too often in this category. A man is such an amoral horn-dog that he'd risk his career (not to mention extensive prison time) by drugging his co-worker? Come on. Use a little more imagination, please.

And she has an orgasm while being raped under heavy sedation. Again: come on.

Meanwhile, hubby spends the entire night not knowing where his wife is, and his main concern isn't for her safety, but whether or not he's been "cuckolded." Come on.

One aside: I laughed out loud when I read about "seamen" drying on the wife's thighs, and assumed it was a typo. Then you did it again. The word is "semen." Big difference!

The story really veers off the rails at the hospital. Instead of displaying any sympathy or concern for his wife, who was just brutally raped, our "hero" is cold and stoic. Then he asks the doctor if she enjoyed it. Fucking seriously?? That's his main concern??

They decide not to press charges. Again: seriously?

They get a divorce after 19 years of marriage because she had an orgasm while being raped. If she hadn't, presumably, they'd still be together. Absolutely ridiculous.

I thank you for contributing and encourage you to continue writing. Hopefully the next story includes some plausible and relatable elements!

A new way to sell cuckholding and rape. Terrible story.

Not entertaining. Not erotic (unless you're a lunatic).

Seriously, what is the point of writing this slop?

i thought it was good, she deceived him so i can understand why he would feel like he cant trust her. I also appreciate the fact that you didnt make this a raac as so many do on this site. keep posting!

So someone who was an ex army ranger who spent 20 years as a police officer is gonna stand there with his thumb up his ass while his wife goes out on a date. Then the old date rape drug is so overused it's getting funny. I get that this is your first story. Still this was laughably bad. You at least got all the clichés right. Dumb as a box of rocks wife, ex army ranger husband, smooth talking younger man who has to drug older women to sleep with him. They divorce but she remarries, the husband is bitter but eventually forgives her. The only thing you missed was the slutty best friend who the husband secretly hates.

Yes, she should have back out of the "date," but NOT because her husband was an "insecure twat," but because she realized that she had, MAYBE inadvertently, misled her husband about the true nature of her dinner partner.

I also find it hard to believe that the ass-wipe pulls this right out of thin air after two years of always conducting himself as a perfect gentleman and never saying one inappropriate word. There almost HAS to have been SOME "innocent" (at least on her part) flirting for him to think that she might be at least somewhat receptive to his advances! Not to mention, just who initiated this thing? I somehow doubt that she suggested it, but usually it's not the person leaving that initiates any sort of "good-bye!"

This is unabashed, fatty indulgence and the counterpart to Imstillfun story catalog where lithe wife finally breaks free of staid husband to hook up with avid studs that she truly deserved all her milf life with zero consequences . Loving Wives is a big tent and these are the two opposite fringes that purport to be the norm for fantasy motivations.

Here is the bubble world where Conrads/ Connies connive to cuckold the upright husband cursed with two left feet married to dimwitted but rhythmically expressive and agile wife who is bound and determined to ruinously assert her rights as a modern woman.

All those Trump tweet predictions coming to ruinous fruition. Why oh why won't anyone stop and think about the children ?

Not the story, that was filled with assorted clichés and drabness. Your author's intro was the interesting part.

"I welcome comments but please remember that I am not a journalist so keep the constructive criticism to content not sentence structure."

Most who complain do so about criticizing content. You seem to be under the impression that only "journalists" can construct coherent sentences. No one here is a journalist, so far as I know, yet most seem to write fluently. Journalists, on the other hand, are well known for NOT writing correctly. That's why journals employ whole teams of copy-editors.

That is why Literotica has a "volunteer editor" program. Seek one out. Then you can focus on your "content," which would benefit greatly from that focus. Then, perhaps, you could write characters who behave rationally and wouldn't have to rely so heavily on the LW tropes. It was not an awful story, just inexplicable behavior by all concerned. Keep writing, but put a little more thought into that content, and leave out the orgasmic rape next time. Many, myself included, find that distasteful and demeaning to women. I gave you a three. You can safely discard swingerjoe's condescension. Your score is already better than his last... effort.

If you want real guidance, look to successful writers, people with those little red "hot" signs beside their stories. Go read the Legends' Day stories.

Not a bad debut. Most of my issues have to do with the cliche nature of what happens, the characters, and what feel like obvious contrivances in order to advance the plot in a certain direction.

I also think you missed an opportunity here; if you'd kept the perspective to that of the husband, you could have plausibly kept the reader from knowing the truth of the story. Because we get Elaine's direct POV, we recognize her being drugged early on, and clearly have it confirmed later. If we only had the husband's POV, we might plausibly believe the possibility that she chose those things and was trying to cover up her affair, even as unlikely as that might seem.

Like others, I find it inplausable that 1) she'd accept a date with a co-worker 2) not understand it was a romantic date given it's nature 3) her husband would accept her leaving without telling her the threat it posed to their marriage 4) she would go anyway after he clearly expressed disapproval, 5) that the wife would consider she'd 'unintentionally' deceived her husband or didn't even recognize the real nature of the event, but proceed anyway, 6) that the younger attractive man would need to use drugs to secure sex from her when she was already imbibing alcohol, 7) that anyone would reasonably consider she was making it up other than the husband (today's culture is ultra-sensitive to claims of sexual assault to the degree that evidence it wasn't is often ignored) 8) that anyone would reasonably believe that she would sedate herself with date-rape drugs in order to get past inhibitions to having sex outside her marriage but reasonably believe she went on the date with that in mind, when she had easy access to alcohol (I can't conceive of any jury which would believe such)...

I mean, I'll be honest, there are too many things outside the realm of what's a reasonable person would believe to keep the reader inside the story rather than being skeptical of it, and frankly many of those disappear if you leave out the wife's POV, because it becomes plausible that she went intentionally to cheat, even if it seems unlikely she'd drug herself. You give no indication that the wife is a 'unreliable narrator', a device in which the reader is given clues that the point of view they're getting is distorted or false.

And finally, I find that stories of this length in which the perspective changes this frequently always fall apart for the reader. Try to stay with one perspective, or if you must switch, do it rarely and don't switch back unless it's some sort of interview format. The point being that switching perspectives draws the reader out of the story, and doing it this frequently over such a short period of time tends to pull the reader out and never let them settle back into the story.

I didn't find your male lead terribly abnormal, as far as being secure in his marriage. Some perspectives on this may differ but likely only because of their own bias. I did find the female lead's naive nature at the beginning of the story to be incongruent with her at the end of the story. She goes from being incredulous that going out with a male coworker would be a problem for her marriage, to recognizing that she hadn't been totally honest with her husband, to having fundamentally misunderstood the nature of the event but still going along with it, to then becoming aware that she'd been raped after being drugged, and rather than going home and trying to hide it like a lot of women in her position would have done, goes to the hospital for a rape kit (which is the right thing to do, but often isn't what happens) and then finds it doesn't help her one bit, which frankly makes me incredulous of the entire thing. Your story seems to work too hard to make 'Connie' the only bad person in the story when the wife objectively does a horrible thing to her marriage even if sex never happens, and the entire date rape/hospital evidence/detective advice portion seems completely unbelievable.

Even so, it's still better than most of the stories posted here.

The story was rational and truthful.

Some people here will not like that, but that's their problem. Not yours.

I'll keep an eye out for more stories from you in the future.

The story was good, until you got to the part where she went out with someone and was given a date-rape drug. I know it was partially her fault, and I'd like to know how she felt going on a date was acceptable, she still was drugged.

Too bad Joe couldn't get over the fact she wasn't responsible for her actions. The adage of treating others as you'd want to be treated goes a long way. I hope Joe finally learns forgiveness and hopefully doesn't have to experieence an unforgiving partner as his wife did.

Women be lying, stupid, cheating cunts.

If my wife worked for someone for two years by the name of Connie who was transferring to a new location and showed up at my house to pick my wife up for a night out and it turned out to be a guy , the threat of divorce would of been instant. He would've been asked to leave and if my wife was going all tough guy like she was then an ultimatum would of been given to both. Her bitch attitude gave her 19 year marriage the end and got her rapped. Even divorceing her I don't think I could allow that guy to go free. It would intale street justice for destroying our family and hurting my wife.

Nice effort. The divorce was not because she was raped. It was because she went on a hot date with another man dressed to kill and over the emphatic objections of her husband.

The question is how a 45 year old attractive woman could possibly think it would be okay for her to go on a date. The story implies that she didn't really think it was a date, but the way she was dressed and the plans for the evening clearly indicate that it was. The story really needs to flesh out how she could have deluded herself into thinking it was okay.

From my viewpoint its sadly realistic. There are some too-trusting, naive women who unintentionally put themselves in risky situations. My wife is one. When she travels on business, I urge caution... she thinks it's jealousy- that she's with people she knows, who aren't a threat... She can't acknowledge that anymore might have ulterior motives, or that anything might happen to compromise her judgment. The story is fiction, but very plausible.

As a prosecutor for many years I can say I would charge this case, try it to a jury, and win it. Your analysis is not plausible.

Shat she did was very foolish and would have ruined the marriage but "Connie" would go to prison.

Elaine betrayed her husband and the marriage and all the 'drugged' excuses in the world and cries of rape do not mitigate that betrayal. Sad story that left me wanting absolutely no more.

I agree with Mattblackuk. Nice story, well written. Don't worry too much about the criticism of your grammar, spelling etc. Nothing too serious in here to my mind. It certainly didn't interrupt the flow. Bear in mind that all the stories on this site are fantasy and don't reflect real life too much. I judge it on whether it's an interesting story and am I interested enough to stick with it. I was. Sad ending. But I thought that's the way it would go, seems like an appropriate ending. Look forward to your next submission.

The betrayal WAS intentional or she wouldn't have gone out on the date. The rape was unintentional.

She did not deserve to have been raped. She deserved to be divorced for going out on a fucking date with a man she wasn't married to.

Might want to rethink those quotation marks around the words "rape," and "drugged." Do you realize what you are implying?

Keep going! Good tale, I liked it.

Pretty good story until the Elaine character started her narrative. From that point on page one until the end it was boring. Writewinger, I wasn't interested in any of your characters. There wasn't any emotions between the husband and wife except anger and distain. In fact I was wondering why they were married. They acted more like roommates who haven't realized that they shouldn't be sharing a place together,lol❗

I'm too tired to keep commenting. I'm sure you will receive constructive criticism from everyone else. From me you get 2*s, and a hope your next story shows improvement.

Good luck, Writewinger.

AMerryman

lit me say it's a good one but some time think about other spouse thought patron i n story hero have to think how his wife think any way some time forgive so sin is good before divorce think once how your child see this all how he react when he see his father abandon home and live with another women and mother live with another man in west what kind of generation you people going to build white that type of moral giving your child's?

I was trying to stress that both the drugging and the rape were completely separate from the betrayal.

I loathe rape accomplished through force or pharma and support the most draconian of punishments for it. However Elaine had made her choice, not to deceive but still to betray her husband.

The drugging and rape were the inevitable consequences of Elaine's decision making.

Nice try. And once again, who really thinks she won't cheat on the next victim? The husband was portrayed as weak but in reality, the marriage was dead when the slut decided to go out on the wimp husband (and he allowed it).

Really, retired cop with friends on the force... Could have the guy pulled over for a "speeding" ticket and have both husband & wife show up & exact some revenge and, "encourage" him to confess.

Also, with the aforementioned affirmative action; if she pressed charges it would not be so easily swept under the rug as stated.

But, going back in the story more; when she came out of the bathroom, she should've castrated the SOB. Would've​ given her story at the hospital more credence; if she had turned him into a eunic.

That stale tired trope stopped me right there.

Will these dinosaurs simply die off?

Since you asked not to have comments about written errors, I won't. A second pair of eyes would help though. I had major problems with your detective advice and prosecution though. I did over 30 years as a police officer including time in a Robbery/Homicide. NO police office I have ever met would let a rapist walk. That really pisses me off. Because of that, rated your story as a 3.

My tip to Wrightwinger is to take careful note of comments by sbrooks103x and swingerjoe. Both are accomplished writers and it's good of them to be encouraging.

Perhaps I should leave it there but, I need to tell you that I too was distracted by errors in punctuation. Particularly quotation marks.

Sorry but a former Army Ranger and cop would not have stood at the door with "Connie" being a man and let that man just glide into the house. There is no excuse for a spouse to be going out to dinner and dancing with a co-worker. The wife's reasoning that she is furious with her husband because he's reacting to her date being a "man" instead of a woman is a lady looking to get out of her marriage. Too many fantasies about the husband/wife/young hunk to be believable in this story. Her phone is off while on a date? Only if she had already hired her divorce lawyer.

It was a pretty decent story but a rehash of at least two other old stories with virtually the same scenario. Also, as mentioned, as a former police and military man, he had both the ability and number of friends that would be able to "perform justice" without having to go to court. Think a bit deeper and ask for some help; it's always good to get another take on what you write.

Try again. It will get better.

It takes courage to publish the first time, just did it myself. I like the story, background, and delimma faced by the characters. Do not let negative comments deter you from editing this story, or posting more. "5" Good job my friend.

Good effort. Enjoyed it.

Oh, I agree that the betrayal was when she left the house. She put herself in the situation, but if someone were to go out for a drink with my male partner, or you, for example, they would be in no danger of being drugged and raped. Normal people to not drug and rape others. That would be sketchy, going out with someone in a committed relationship, but even sketchy people should not be drugged and raped, and her being sketchy was not any excuse for what he did, nor should being drugged and raped be the consequence of being a skank. This was not a good story. Too many inexplicable actions by all the characters.

She betrayed him by going out with the guy. I agree with you there. The rape was a consequence, but not commensurate with the action. I didn't think you were soft pedaling rape, but that did appear to be the implication of the quotes.

Fascinating the positioning of the doctor and the police. Basically the moment she decided to go out alone with "Connie" she was putting her marriage in the dumpster.

Getting angry at her husband's predictable reaction to being blindsided left him with only one logical path to follow.

but still, I think it presents an origianl viewpoint on the LW concept. I'm sure the writer will improve with experience.

@ LordSlamdawgg: Which story by Imstillfun were you thinking of? I thought this was a good counterpoint to But Honey It Was Just a Dance by Laptopwriter.

And......he should have thrown the asshole out when he showed up at the door. Maybe they could have overcome her stupidity

You need an editor to tighten up the story & to help with your spelling & grammar. I know you only wanted comment on the content BUT how the hell do you expect to improve as a writer without feedback on your actual writing skills. 3 ***

She deceived hubby by not telling him Connie was a man. Then disrespected him by going out with him. Didn't get what she deserved, nor did "Connie"

For some reason I didn't get to know too much about the two main principals, hubby and wife and I'm not sure why that is. You said he was a cop and gave a few details but I didn't feel that connection to him, and I really didn't know that much about her it seems.

Some editing and another pass would have improved it I suspect.

Thank you and keep writing.

I gave it a 5. It seemed largely plausible. Maybe not perfect grammatically and I believe most prosecutors could have won the case but so what. That wasn't the story you wanted to tell. At least you didn't have the Husband go all "Ranger" on Connie, which is what most writers would have done given your description of H.

anon.1.

This was a real story that could happen in real life. Why she set up a date with a married man and covered it up and lied made no sense ,she had to know there is no way her husband would stand for such deception. End of marriage and trust. The rape was secondary to the betrayal. Nice piece of writing for a new be.

For a first effort. The story does have problems, a cop would know (unlike more than a few shit head GOP politicians) that when a woman is raped their body can react to it,as the spouse of someone who was raped by dear old dad,the betrayal of the body is a very real reaction by the victim (so if a woman has an orgasm,or gets pregnant,that doesn't mean she wanted it).Likewise, I doubt very much the defense could argue that she took those drugs to loosen inhibitions while arguing she went on the date intending to screw him, that contradicts itself,plus the amount she likely had (and the doctor could tell that,drugs metabolize at a regular rate),to paralyze her like that would not be the level a woman would take recreational lyrics, not to mention to ease inhibitions she would take ecstacy, sincetc with roofie drugs it puts you out of it m you don't enjoy it. My sil was a sex crimes DA in nyc and believe me,that guy would go down.

The perp too was unreal, a serial rapist would not leave himself open like that, he basically was a walking advertisement for rape, as in getting caught, leaving DNA all over her, letting her just walk out like that knowing she would test for date tape drugs,holy shit. The legal system still has misogyny and the old "rape" disbelief (just look at the way law enforcement and legislatures are covering up for priests and the church by refusing to get rid of the statute of limitations for sexual assault), but this guy was ridiculous.

The company would have paid big time,if they continually promoted a guy who had been accused of misconduct time and again, they would face millions in damages,they would have no where to hide.

I am troubled,too, that Joe seems to still think the sex was consensual with his obsession about her orgasming. He is dead spot on by her behavior , lying about who she is going with, not even understanding how much she was showing him disrespect, getting angry at his reaction, never once seeing his side until it was too late.Someone does that they have a reason, it showed how little she cared about him and he was right to leave.She never explains herself, never figures out why she did what she did...

Overall I encourage you to keep writing. Would try to stay away from cliches and the over the top, the villain in the story would work as well if she got drunk, he has sex w her when she tried to say no, it would be just as vile and also legally more ambiguous, likewise it would work better in the end if she knew why she hated her husband enough to humiliate him like this

I gave you four stars. Anyone first starting out deserves support for being willing to put yourself out there. You asked for comments on the story, and you got a ton. Most stories in LW don't generate this many detailed comments. They give you a pretty good idea of what the majority of the readers think about the storyline and content.

I don't think a ex-cop would have let the wife to leave the house with this guy in the first place. "Connie" would have left in a big hurry not long after he showed up -- by himself. The husband was unlikely to react as you described. Cops aren't this calm about disrespect in their personal lives. I know over 10 of them well including some of them being family members. They (often abruptly and loudly) tend to react first and deal with the personal relationship fall-out later. That's why so many are on their third marriage, lol. I also think Conrad would have gotten a serious "anonymous beat-down" and regular traffic cop harassment as well as facing some serious legal issues including a large civil lawsuit. Female judges hate guys like Conrad.

But hey, I didn't write the story you did and you wrote it the way you wanted to. As many an author on Literotica has stated, you have to please yourself and not the critics when writing to keep up the desire to continue making the effort.

Hopefully you will continue to write and learn from the constructive criticism along the way without letting the completely negative comments bother you. I enjoyed reading your story and look forward to seeing more content from you in the future.

Not much love here on either side just a couple going through the motions

and then quitting when the going got tough instead of their love and respect for

each other pulling them through the tough times!

He claims it wasn't because of the rape; it was because of the disrespect and the date.

But he didn't tell her not to come back when she left.

He didn't call her and tell her to come home right way or not at all.

He didn't threaten to deadbolt the door until she was an hour and a half late.

It wasn't when she left that he threatened to end things—it was when he thought she was spending the night.

The character was angry, and certainly they would have fought even if she came back when she said she would. Maybe if she had stubbornly dug in her heels about it being okay he would have left. But if instead in that scenario she had come to the same realization she later did here (that she wouldn't be okay with him going out on a date), and had apologized to him without the other things happening, it sure looks like they could have worked things out after a rough patch.

I think he's lying to himself when he says it wasn't because of the rape.

He's not the only one. She may have convinced herself it would be a platonic evening, but she dressed up for her companion, let him call it a date, kissed his cheek, held hands in the car, and generally acted like it was a date. The text is ambiguous (intentionally so, I think) on whether she intentionally misled her husband about Connie's gender, but even if she thought she didn't lie she wasn't forthcoming and before she left she certainly knew she had misled her husband about her date, whether intentionally or not.

Nice story. There were some cliches and overused tropes, and the writing could definitely be tightened up, but thank you for contributing.

Not bad at all. For your first story it was pretty good. Now I'm no writer, but I love to read those that can, and it was good!!! Keep writing and the jerks that will try your patience in here, just ignore them. Most of them hide behind the almighty "anonymous" .

Others have hashed/rehashed your plot. I won't, except to say I was bummed they couldn't make it work. Fawking rape. Grrr. Her flaw of modern feminine hubris and his of old male disempathy for her rape might be cliche, but you did pretty good explaining their thoughts. Look forward to more.

But the rapist deserved to die. That he didn't lowered the story from a 4-5 range to a 2.

Who would want a woman like that anyway. She dresses sexy to go out ob a dinner and dancing date with a younger man, and has sex although against her will. What the fuck did the bitch think would happen. She not only disrespected her husband by going put with her date she deserved being raped for being so naive and stupid

To say farewell, normally someone married would bring there spouse along.

She didn't.

That alone makes it a date.

Most guys would have mad a scene telling it was over if she left etc.

Author: Good work; please keep on submitting.

Well done with your first offering I look forward to your next. Thank you.

Please continue to post your stories!

Yes you have some grammar errors. A good editor could help. If you can find one. The parts I didn't like? That he didn't make a bigger stink when she left for her date, that Conrad really didn't suffer for his actions and that you took the short cut and didn't include anything about the months they tried to put their marriage back together. Other than those items, this was a good story for a first time writer.

This tune has been played so many times in LW.

Also, the rank is Sergeant, not sargent. And om writing dialogue, quotation marks matter.

Okay, I'm generally a fan of holding an adult woman accountable for her choices. But she didn't choose to get raped. Yeah, she was stupid when she thought going dancing alone with a single, male coworker was okay, but do you throw away 19 years of marriage away when the person you ate supposed to love more than anything is RAPED? This is the worst sort of "blame the victim" mentality and, frankly, misogyny.

Also, I know you said criticize the content not the grammar or punctuation, but those things make a difference. If this was actually a decent story line, the story still would have sucked because it's hard to read.

illiterate cuck shit.

Yes she was raped and it was very unfortunate that it happened. But it is hard to get over the fact that your wife went against your wishes and put herself in a position for this to happen. He told her his intent and she blew him off, basically telling him that she didn't trust him. Also, rubbing it in his face as she left the house smirking at him and deceiving him by initially allowing him to think that Connie was a girl. Raped or not, that would have been enough for me to question weather I wanted to stay married to her. What she did was betrayal and in the end, I wouldn't see that marriage working.

I am a Non-English reader but quite fluent.

This story is well devised and excellently written.

I shows, how a loving couple can break up without wanting so.

Will read more from this author.

She willingly went out with him, and unfaithful as soon as she left the house.

I'm surprised quasi-cuckboy even attempted to take her back.

had it happen to me with college girlfriend.

drug added to beer was probably his mother's tranqs

we were supposed to be exclusive

never talked to her again. she went willingly, i had told her what kind of guy he was.

busted his nose

5*

Writing - many comments about the typos and suggestions to get an editor. SingerJoe's (and others') comments are good advice. Plot - not credible to not attempt prosecution. I agree with the Fossil commentator about that issue. Many have pointed out that the marriage died when she left with the perp. The overall situation however is very credible - poor communication, arrogant wife, blindsided husband, perp taking advantage of the situation.

Keep it up

Somehow I rather believe that the husband's police connections would ensure that the rapist would find himself the focal point of police interest for years if not the rest of his life. Retribution might not come at the hands of the husband himself, but I feel sure that it would be visited upon the asshole for sure.

more cuck shit.

Keep writing...the story was good, and elicited all the right emotions.

It was pretty self evident at the part of the story where she kissed the man and smirked at her husband. that part alone would give a jury cause to free her rapist from all charges. disrespect is one of the most severe problems with a relationship. if there is no respect, there can be no love or trust.

What is it abt LW authors at present? We now have two authors in two days where the poor wife was raped/drugged & the so-called hero still kicks her to the curb / divorces. WTF? What pathetic, self centred, gutless, horrible excrements of a human being!!

The husband intentionally betrayed his wife. She was a crime victim.

No way in the world would the rapist walk on this. Even if she consented while voluntarily under the influence, it would still be rape. A prosecutor couldn't ask for a better case than this. And the husband is a complete asshole. Your wife is a victim of a violent crime, and you toss her away. One star - because of the sympathetic portrayal of the husband.

I thought the ending was realistic as many husbands struggle to deal with the rape of a wife. The only thing I didn't like was the repetitive story telling from points of view of the husband and wife, which had a jarring effect.

Good start, would like to read more stories fro you.

- A fan from India

He had gotten past the sex, the part he couldn't get beyond "was the image of her descending those stairs, reaching up to kiss his cheek and the last defiant glance she gave me." This bitch is rape victim but she is still very much a stainless steel bitch.

Her betrayal was most definitely intentional, the smirk before leaving proved that. She just didn't intend it to go as far as it did.

but please at least try to proofread better. When you publish something that contains the word "u[p" (page 1, Elaine's first section), you're not even trying.

Joe, your words have been read with interest over the years by this reader. Despite your collegial tone of voice and the astute observations on the story in question here, your conspicuous need to slyly insert the "male insecurity" meme at every possible opportunity has become not only boring but insulting.

It's as if you have your own teaming insecurities about the possibility that men might actually have other completely rational reasons for not wanting their wives to throw caution to the wind and be wined and dined and sensually groped through an evening of ritual gyrations well understood in all of known history as a precursor to sexual activity.

Even when the suspicions of the husband/character turn out to be absolutely spot on he is to be given no quarter. Out comes the Marxist deconstructionism. Out comes the armchair psychology. Out comes the pretension. All, one can reasonably assume from reading years of swingerjoe analysis, for the purpose of inserting another chintzy episode of Male Insecurity memes.

The fact that you don't appear give the slightest reason to assume the opposite, especially given the extenuating circumstances of the subject matter, has become very telling and is something of a slam dunk for your own insincerity and your own insecurities.

By all means, Joe, continue to enlighten us with your knowledge of writing and literary criticism, but please stop with the arrogance and the smug insults.

So, there are a few things I find irritating with your story.

The views that the characters have seems to be very conservative or ignorant. For example, the diatribe about women in the police force. Why the hate? Sure some women use sex to get ahead but most do not. Yet at the end you state "The influx of woman on to the force has increased exponentially and although the blatant sexual liaisons have ended, women are, for the most part, receiving the lions share of the plainclothes and detective assignments." It seems that you are insinuating that the reason why women are getting these assignments is because they are having sex with their superiors. It can't be because they actually earned it? Do you really think women don't have the capacity to make detective?

Then there’s the question about if she had an orgasm. I mean, really? Your wife’s been raped and all you care about is if she had an orgasm?! As the doctor said, people can have orgasms when they’re raped, it doesn’t mean they wanted it to happen or for it to happen again. At one point she realized it wasn’t her husband but she was still under the drug’s effects. She couldn’t speak, let alone do anything to make him stop. How would he like it if he got raped by another guy and the first thing he was asked is if he had an orgasm? He probably wouldn’t be ok with that. As soon as I read that, I knew the marriage was going to fall apart. He just doesn’t care. He has this idea that it’s wife’s fault for getting raped and since she had an orgasm she’s now a slut.

Also, although this may be realistic, that’s bad that his fellow cops were willing to bend the rules so much. I mean, calling to tell him his wife is in the ER is one thing, but saying to get your stories straight and allowing him to go into the room when they still don’t know whether this was domestic or not is a red flag. I feel that these are the type of people that would cover up a wife beating. It seems the story really tried to promote the idea of organizational loyalty and while this can be a good thing, leading to comradery and useful networking, it can also be a bad thing that leads to corruption and misuse of power, as we have unfortunately seen examples of. However, this is somewhat realistic and maybe that is what you were going for.

A few other lesser pet peeves:

Why only Connie and Elaine? Is that his only friend? Seems weird that he is just celebrating with Elaine. Also weird that this is the first time the husband has heard of him, but they’re such good friends that they have a special celebration together. I mean, my mom doesn’t hang out with any of her work friends and we still hear about all the interesting conversations they had. Well, interesting for her anyways. Should have put some back story in to make it seem less out of the blue.

Like swingerjoe said, why the emphasis on TV? I will disagree with swingerjoe and say TV is still fun but it’s definitely not as important as it once was. It’d be more likely that the kid would want to play video games, not watch TV.

This sentence made me laugh: “Some were so addicted to the tube that they even had one in the kitchen.” First of all, no one calls it a tube anymore. Second, having a TV in the kitchen is not abnormal. It’s like we’re being teleported back into the 50s. Remember in Back to the Future, when Marty says they have two televisions sets, and his (not yet) grandma says nobody has two tv sets? As if it’s crazy someone could have more than one.

I think the no charging the guy with rape is somewhat realistic, though she had pretty good evidence. She got drug tested the morning after, there is likely has surveillance showing she was inebriate and he carried her out, and, as seen later in the story, a guy like that probably has a couple sexual harassments. She’s got a relatively good case.

She was going out on a romantic date with another guy and deceived her husband. Then threw it in his face before she left with her lover. It doesn't matter what happened after. It is VERY CLEAR that she did not care about her husband. That makes her a heartless CUNT! If you are married an a spouse does that its called disrespect. End of marriage. I hated this until the end when he divorces the Cunt. Still I find this story to be less then favorable.

Wifey stepped out on hubby, was drugged and raped, and hubby was less than gracious when he saw her at the hospital. No doubt there was preexisting marital discord because 1) she stepped out, and 2) he reacted with anger rather than love. So, good job, Author! The plot was good but sparse. But, do pay more attention to spelling and punctuation in the future. I gave you 5 stars to partially offset Mr. One-Star-Cuck-Shit who hates this stuff but nonetheless reads it.

I call this genre cuckold fantasy porn, wherein hubby stands by helplessly while wifey does some foolish thing that gets her fucked. (If you like this genre, be sure to read FatJackFallstaff's "All Aboard".)

I agree with the retired prosecutor: Conrad would go down. But the author deftly exploits the masochistic needs of the cuckold reader and lets Conrad go with little punishment. Exquisite!

I have extensive experience administering benzodiazepines and ketamine but I have never known them to make people horny. Sleepy and amnesic, yes, and ketamine is a great analgesic for some types of pain, anal penetration for one. Oral absorption is not predictable. Combined with alcohol, these drugs can cause respiratory depression leading to anoxic brain injury or death. The victim is likely to aspirate stomach contents, too. Crazy dangerous, like Russian roulette. Again, Author, good debut!

I agree that it's odd that NOBODY else in the office is going to the "going away" party.

Any time a story generates over 100 comments, the author succeeded in reaching his audience. I suggest you try to be a little less dry, and shoot for more emotion, with fewer extraneous facts. Your story reminded me a little of watching an episode of "Dragnet", with Jack Web, about 1968. But I hope you keep trying.

Major issue: A one couple going away party? How the hell this story is labeled 'Unintentional' is a mystery - as all her actions were 'intentional'.

She had CHEATING on her mind with her intentional deception using a female name 'Connie' to elude. Her flippant arrogant attitude towards her husband. She demonstrated intent to make her husband a cuck walking down those stairs. She knew she was tossing her marriage when she walked out the door in the arms of another man... She wanted the sex, it just took the form of date-rape and she got it and now wants a do-over!

The total BS of this story is the cops never went to his car/home to search for illegal drugs - they all knew he had em? Then the small loyal police force did not take care of one of their own with an accidental baseball-bat hair cut to Connie's groin insuring the gene pool remains clean??? What a wimp PD/SO and cuck!

Because of the many errors in spelling and grammar, I could not give you a 5. I gave you a 4. This story is much more realistic than most Loving Wives stories. It is in touch with the real world. Keep writing. You will get better and try to keep the stories realistic.

Have declared this story as part of the ''vast right wing conspiracy''

Lsd's disconnect with reality grows with each comment although he does have a way of connecting words into illogical phrases.

As for story, wife purposely misled husband as to Connie's sex, dressed suggestively for date, and smirking at husband walked arm and arm out of his life.