Unnatural Thirsts

"Can it wait?"

"What?"

"This conversation. Mom and I talk about a lot of things that are kind of secret. A lot of it is girl stuff. Some of it has to do with my dad. Some of it I won't share with you. It's not because I don't trust you. I trust you more than anyone. Will you trust me until I'm ready to talk to you about it?"

"Yes. Although I really think you should have told me that you've had discussions with our mother about seducing me."

You laughed, and then let your small hand wander down to my bruised but eager cock.

"Actually, she brought it up on my eighteenth birthday. She thought we'd already started, because she knew that we were meant to be together. You were always such a good older brother, though. You'd never take advantage of me, not matter how much you wanted to. Even if I may have provoked you quite a bit..."

I set down the bowl and in fact gave up on the entire idea of cereal. I was excited now and we were alone together. You led me by the hand to the couch and sat me down, then pulled my shirt off like a kid on Christmas excited to unwrap her gift.

"God. I marked you up all over, didn't I?"

There was a strange mix of arousal and guilt in your voice. You looked at me, a little worried.

"Are you sure you're ok? I...I remember doing most of this, but...I didn't think I was that rough..."

"I'm better than ok," I said, "but do you think you could maybe go easy on me for a while? I don't want to let you down but I need time to heal a bit..."

"Oh yes," you purred, sitting next to me, "I can be tender with my love. Is that what you want? Do you want your little sister to take care of you?"

You gently passed ran your fingers over my chest, around my nipple, down to my tight stomach.

"Y...yes," I said, stammering hoarsely. My bruised member grew even harder. Who was this girl who could bring me to such arousal so quickly?

"I love being able to affect you like this. You've always been so self-composed. Whenever I was scared or sad you always were like a rock for me," you said, kissing me on my chest, "now I can made you tremble with a touch."

I scooped you up and put you in my lap, so you were straddling me. You made a little yelp of surprise. I pulled your shirt off and you didn't resist, letting me run my hands over your smooth sides and belly and up to your perfect pert breasts. Yeah, its cliché, but I do love your breasts. I lifted you up by your little ass and kissed and licked and nipped at them.

"Oh...oh fuck. Yes...I need this...ooooh"

Your words trailed off as I sucked your nipple into my mouth, squeezing it between my lips, just the right amount. I passed my hand over your side, across your thigh, then dove it between your legs. I held you steady with my other hand on your firm little ass, while I gently stroked your lips through your tights, feeling the spread of warm liquid even through the fabric.

"You're not the only one who can have an effect. I know what you need, love, even when you don't..."

"I...oh...oh fuck...yes...please don't stop...I'll..."

Your words died, not because you wanted to, but because you were too embarrassed to say what you wanted to say. We may have fucked like animals but you were still shy about making some things verbal. I knew what you needed to here. I put my palm over your mons and clit and you ground against it eagerly, gasping, already near climax.

"You'll be my good girl? Is that what you want to be? Do you want you be my good...litttle...girl?"

"Yes...oh yes, fuck..."

You shuddered and bucked but I held you firmly as you came, sucking your whole breast into my mouth. Your tights were soaked and the heat from your sex was intense. Now I wanted you, but as you came down I pulled you to me and you tucked your head into my chest. No longer a predator but just my sweet little sister again.

"Am I? Am I really your good little girl? I want to be. I want to be good for you, but can I be? Being what I am?"

"Yes," I answered, without hesitation, "but can I be a good big brother to you? Having fucked you? I'm supposed to care for you, protect you, not take pleasure from cumming inside you."

"Yes," you responded, again without any pause, "it just makes you better at it. Mmm."

You nuzzled my chest, kissing me, then licking my nipple. You stood up quickly, then shimmied out of your tights. It made your body shift and jiggle in an incredibly erotic way. Then you looked at me, expectantly, your smile honest and eager.

I stood up and took off my boxers. I couldn't believe that we were doing this right out in our living room, but I wasn't willing to wait the thirty-seconds to take you to bed. I was in a demanding mood that morning, which is unusual for me. I'm passive a lot of the time or just non-confrontational, finessing rather than forcing. I could tell that what I was doing turned you on.

"Go sit on the recliner," I said firmly. You did. I walked over slowly while you watched me excitedly. You were clearly stronger than I was, at least when you were excited, but you allowed me to move and position you. You were sure that I was just going to fuck you, but there was something I hadn't done yet. Something I needed to do.

I pulled your hips forward then put one of your legs over each armrest. Thank god you're so flexible. You were completely open and exposed to me, vulnerable. Your body flushed red from my gaze, but I could tell that the way I looked at you excited you, made you understand my desire. You knew what I was going to do, but I took my time getting there. I knelt in front of you and reached up to play with your nipples, gently teasing and pinching, harder this time, just enough to be painful.

You need pain sometimes, just like I do.

I kissed your firm belly and it fluttered, I moved my head, looking up at you periodically. You watched me with rapt attention, like a stalking cat, your lips parted. You made a little squeak as I moved left and kissed you on your inner thigh. You bucked your hips up, desperate for my mouth on your sex. I dodged you easily and made a "tut-tut" noise. You nodded and relaxed, then looked at me for approval, a look that I've received many times in the past and that always made me aware of my responsibilities to you.

I rewarded your compliance with my tongue, tasting you for the first time, gently licking up your slit almost but not quite to your clitoris. Your sex was puffy and swollen with your need. You were very wet and...amazing.

You worried about how you might smell or taste, but your uniqueness is itself arousing. Your flavor was much more savory and complex then any other woman I'd tasted. There was a slight coppery saltiness that I understood was a sign of your nature. I needed more of you so I darted my tongue as far as it would go, making wet and sloppy noises that drove you wild.

Your body begged me in ways that your voice could not. I began to be less selfish and started paying attention to your clitoris with my tongue while I explored you with my finger. Even though I'd been inside you the previous night you felt too tight for a second finger. I probed you and felt your g-spot, the first time you'd ever been stimulated there. You put your hands on my head and growled like a jaguar in heat. Your reserve of compliance was expended, and you pushed yourself into me, holding me in place so I couldn't escape.

I didn't want to. I sucked your clit into my mouth. You cried out my name, your hips jumping, your back arching. I could feel the emotional reverb of your orgasm, feel you plummeting, falling into it, lost. You were helpless in your pleasure, and you felt safe with me.

Finally you collapsed and released my head, caressing my hair gently as if to apologize for your sudden ferocity.

I licked you one last time, for me, then looked up into your eyes.

"I love you," you said. I responded by nipping you on the inner thigh making you yelp and laugh. I rolled you over and you let me. I dropped the back of the recliner all the way and this allowed me to bend you over completely while you were comfortable.

I entered you, more quickly than I should have in my exhilaration. God you were so tight, especially from this angle. Your heat and muscles held me. My cock was bathed in your fluids.

"Oh fuck that's deep," you said.

"Too deep? Are you all right?" I'm not the biggest guy, but you are smaller than I, and this position let me hit places that I hadn't the night before.

"I'm...fine. Just give me a minute to get used to you...again," you said. I caressed the pale and soft expanse of your back.

"As much time as you need. I'll pull out if you need..."

"No! No, I want to do this. I need to do this for you," you said. You'd taken me the prior night and submission to me today was a statement that you needed to make. I waited patiently and continued to caress your back and sides. I felt you relax under me, you interior muscles loosening.

"O..Ok...you can move now..."

I began to move, slowly, gripping your waist with one hand while the other sat on your back reassuringly. You whimpered but not in pain, so I sped up a little. This had a sudden response from you, unexpected but welcome. You came, not in a large way just a shudder and a loud exhalation. If I hadn't sensed it might have been missed, but the look you gave me over your shoulder could not have been mistaken as anything but the heat of passion.

I rubbed up and down your back, along your spine. I felt the ripples of sensation that it raised in you. I reached around and felt your breasts as I fucked you, this time rougher, harsher. You growled and pushed back at me with each thrust, meeting my force with desire.

I fucked you hard, for the first time. Every stroke drew a moan or a cry or a whimper, encouraging me further. I felt your body beg to be bruised, your strong but tender flesh aching for your brother's cock.

You gripped the cushion, knuckles turning white. Your eyes were closed and your face was beautiful in your focus, your silken hair flowed like a river of ink down your back. This image stayed with me in the bad times, and I always used it to remind myself that we would be reunited.

Your eyes opened, staring back at me not like a thing of fury and need, but rather a creature of desire and supplication, only wanting my pleasure, my seed. It was too much for me and I came at the sight.

I felt myself filling you, and you felt my cock swell and pulse in you, the pressure of my cum near your womb. It made you cum as well, thrashing and groaning. Finally you shuddered on last time, your body covered in sweat.

I pulled out of you and then lifted your small form up. You nuzzled into my neck as I carried you to your bed and then lay beside you. We'd clean up later, but for now I just wanted to be close to you. You drew up on my chest and made a noise between a moan and a purr.

"You know...you'd make a good predator," you said, gazing at me with the far-away look of a sated woman. From you it was a fine compliment.

I'd remember it for a long time.

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All Gone

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When I got up the next day you had already gone out and yet again I ran into mom in the kitchen. She just sighed as she looked at me in a resigned fashion, but I still wasn't looking forward to discussing the inevitable. We sat in awkward silence as I ate my toast and drank my OJ while she nursed her coffee. Eventually she broached the elephant in the room.

"Are you being safe, at least?"

"What, you mean like using condoms?" It honestly hadn't even occurred to me, for which I am embarrassed. Thankfully you were on the pill, although we both know now how unlikely it would be for you to get pregnant.

"No. I mean do you at least have a safe word or something? So you can get her to stop?"

"Um. No. I trust her."

"Saints preserve us. She's your sister and she loves you, but she's more than that and both of you know it. You have to realize that when you...um, sleep with her, you're getting into a pool with a shark and then cutting yourself. If she makes a mistake and forgets that you're not as tough as she is, then she could take just a bit too much blood or put just a little too much pressure on you or even just bite you too deep. And then you'll be dead and she'll want to follow you."

"No. She'd never hurt me like that."

She sighed.

"I hope you're right. I trust that she loves you but sometimes you two are too close for your own good. Well, in any case, I know we're not a normal family. At some point I realized that this would happen. At first I thought about trying to stop it. Breaking you two up maybe, sending one or both of you away to a school or to stay with someone else. Eventually I understood that you two were just meant for one another. That fate felt as solid as bedrock to me. What you have is deeper than family and different from marriage. I'm not judging and I'll always love both of you."

"Thank you, mom. I...I don't think either of us have been happier."

She teared up a little at that, and I figured out later it was for more than one reason.

"Well, I'm glad I ran into you before I had to leave. As you know, our money situation is better and I wanted to do something for each of you. Your sister always wants more art supplies so she's getting a digital studio. You were less easy. You've never been focussed on the material world. But I remembered a certain film and music festival that you were always going on about..."

Mom pushed a small envelope across the table to me. I was so excited that I ignored the slight wavering I felt in her emotions. Inside were plane tickets and VIP passes for the festival, along with a special dinner with a film director that I loved (and about ten other VIP guests, but I didn't care). This was all very expensive and frankly hard to get.

I didn't know what to say so I just stood up and walked around the table and hugged mom. It was really the perfect gift. I told you when you got back and you were excited for me, in a very real way. I mistook your slight sadness for missing me while I was gone. I made a lot of mistakes that week.

You came to my room every night, and we made love. Some nights were tender and slow. Others were rough. My bruises were replaced with fresh ones, elsewhere. I think you bit me on every part of my body, and I loved you for it. You even tentatively took me in your mouth for the first time. You were embarrassed by your lack of experience in this regard but you looked so lovingly at me while you did it. And you were very careful.

The only really odd moment was what you told me before I left. We were in the afterglow, telling each other the soft nothings that make sex much sweeter.

"Are you happy with me?" You asked me the question but I didn't understand it, not really.

"Yes. Can you not tell?"

"No...I mean...yes, of course I can. I mean, could you be happy with me...being the only one?"

We hadn't discussed it yet but I did kind of think we were exclusive.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation, "What about you?"

"Oh," you said, radiating truth, "god yes. Of course. Its all I want"

"Well it sounds like we might be exclusive."

"No," you said, sadly, "not...not now."

I rolled over and looked at you, confused, and a little hurt. I mean, a second ago you were ready to commit, and now?

"I'm not sure I understand."

"It's just...it's too early. I hope you understand, but there are things I want...I need...to do before I can be yours and yours alone. And I can't ask you to be exclusive while I'm out doing whatever."

You were sad and guilty but you truly felt this was necessary. I was sad but it made sense to me. You were years younger than me. I'd had experiences with quite a few women, more than I'm really proud of, to be honest. The idea of you being with someone else hurt, but it made sense.

Yet another complete misunderstanding. You both had me so fooled.

"Um. Ok. Will you tell me when you're ready? Or if you change your mind and I'm not what you want? I just...kind of don't want to be in limbo forever."

You rested your head on my chest and looked up at me, sadly, but filled with affection.

"I will. I want you to be my one-and-only and that won't ever change. Don't ever give up on that. Trust me."

I did trust you.

Overall though, it was a really good week. Memories of it kept me going during the times ahead.

* * *

You probably won't like this bit. You might even say that some of it unfair. Its true though, in that it was what I felt and thought. We've spoken about it, and I understand your reasons, but that didn't make it hurt any less at the time.

I don't want you to think that I haven't forgiven you though. We always forgive each other. I suppose that the bitter memories make the good ones more sweet.

I got back from the festival. It had been amazing. The only thing missing was you, but I'd taken pictures and found albums and films to share with you. Even though it's not really your thing, I knew you'd love talking to me about it, just as I love speaking with you about art and history.

I came home to an empty house. That was odd, but not entirely out of character. Mom had been out of the house at all kinds of odd hours lately, and you were working hard on your portfolio so you could have been drawing somewhere or taking pictures for inspiration. I wasn't worried until I found the note.

I'd left my laptop behind because I mostly used it for school and hadn't needed it. It was sitting on the kitchen table, when I distinctly remembered leaving it in my room. Everyone in our house was big on privacy, so the idea that someone would just use it without so much as texting to ask was very unlikely.

I opened the lid and saw the paper, which had been sitting on the keyboard, loose. I picked it up and read it. It was in your handwriting. All it said was:

Remember that we love you.

--Mom and Sis

You'd both signed your names, obviously, but I'm not putting that here. You'd also pencilled in a few creatively drawn hearts, some of which looked like they were beating or dripping blood. I felt a wash of affection for you, and then fear.

I assumed that you both had to take an emergency trip. I went to our storage room downstairs, where we keep our luggage. All of it was gone. That didn't reassure me like it probably should have. Instead it raised my anxiety. I knew that I was missing something. I went upstairs, thinking that you might have left some clue as to what was going on in my room. On the way I had to pass by your room. It was empty.

I don't just mean that you weren't in it, either. Your bed was gone. Your desk and plush chair were gone. Your dresser and bookshelves and all of your beloved books were gone. Your posters and paintings were replaced by slightly lighter places on the walls. It looked as though it hadn't been lived in for a long time. Mom's room was the same, so I finally went to my own.

Everything of mine was there, untouched.

I suddenly understood all the guilt and sadness I'd felt at various times during the last few weeks. I realized that the festival wasn't a gift, but a way to get me out of the house. Out of the way.

Then again maybe it was a gift, a farewell gift.

I never assumed bad intentions on your part. But it did occur me right then, and every day thereafter, that it was likely that you would be gone for years, if not more. It had to relate to your condition somehow, maybe even your father, and if so...who knows if you would ever return. He'd been absent for eighteen years, after all.

You told me that we would be together one day, but for those of us who age and die, especially those of us who had lost all they cared about, that time seemed a long way off.