All Comments on 'Unrequited Pt. 04'

Going to be hard reading the last part. I so hope I have read thing wrong but it seems very bleak for Bethany and Kayliegh. Hope I am wrong. 5*

Very nice penultimate chapter! I like the way you've found to sort of force the issue, and I'm genuinely curious where you'll take this. I mean, I assume it's going to work out, but I'm really not sure about the details, and that makes this interesting. Also, we seem to have made no progress on the Sally issue at all, so there's a pretty big second elephant around as well :D

Anyways: Thank you for taking the time to write, edit, and publish this for us!

Ouchie

Please be happy ladies

Great chapter. I am a little worried, though. I'm pretty sure you said this was a 5 part story, so the next part is the final one. Unless it's much longer than the other 4, I don't know how you're going to get through all the many issues still in this story. Unless you do a long epilogue that uses a time skip. Still looking forward to it though as this story is amazing

My soul woke me up saying the story was uploaded, wake up and read it. Just finished at 4:25am. So Kay like people who are emotionally unavailable to her, so is she going to accept the same about Beth? Someone heart is going to crushed or is Beth going to move with Kay to give it a chance because sally is finally not an option?

You are so damn good at playing with my emotions. Do you even realize how painful this chapter is?

Your writing is so amazing. You make us actually feel what your characters think and go through in life. Can’t wait for the last chapter. Hope you got a happy ending. Both characters deserve it.

One comment: at some point, I think there is a confusion between Molly and Monica when Beth and Rayleigh talk in the Korean BBQ, as you say Molly is working with Stephen.

I knew it was coming..I just hope the next chapter is here soon. Love your work.

I always love your stories, but this one was special...it's so much pain and love ..very relatable... Waiting for their happy ending ❤️

Amazing, you have everyone invested in these characters ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow. Quite a lot happening in this chapter, and very much unexpected. It's good to have some more insight into Kayleigh's character. After the last chapter I'd been thinking that she didn't come across strongly enough. And I still have no idea how this is going to play out. An unhappy ending is very much a possibility. And only one more episode to go. Even if there's a happy ending I'm going to be bereft because the story's over.

Wonderful, actually when reading and even now ... I feel a bit frustrated and worked up, mostly with how Beth isn't communicating straightforward or seems to avoid getting deeper in Kayleigh's thoughts and insecurities. This rings some bells home... After Molly's words that her sister doesn't date people, but she dates projects (very true, glad she said so clearly), this image truly came alive and even the sex afterwords weren't seen anymore as 'an act of love', but as something else... It's truly great, because you showed Kayleigh's imperfections and especially this mostly one-sided 'helping - needing help /support' dynamic in a story. I can clearly see why Kayleigh's ex-girlfriends before didn't work out, and everybody used her (annoyingly) goodness. I hope that she will take this new job-opportunity, so for once she will put herself first. And Beth, still has a lot to learn relationship wise, but for me it still can go both ways. I hope Beth find discloser with Sally, be open towards her because this 'not telling', feels more and more like lying and it's killing me. How can you sustain a friendship like that if it make you miserable every time, and where the other person doesn't even now what's happening?? At least be open about it. Both girls are in that sense similar and aren't really showing themselves, or hiding parts of themselves. This all to say, I really love your story and I'm looking forward towards the last chapter.

I honestly don't know which way I want this story to go. The characters are so wonderfully imperfect that I feel for Beth and want her to be truly happy, and Kayleigh doesn't deserve the heartache that's (possibly?) incoming, but I'm not sure I want them to end up together? And Sally is just blissfully unaware of everything while going steady with Tim, so doubt she'd ever consider anything else. Ugh, my feelings are all over the place, which only happens when I'm truly invested in a story, so well done. You have a way with words. Eagerly waiting for the closure <3

Waiting on the edge of my seat :)

Wow! I was expecting a serious bump in the road at this point in the story. This finally will force Beth to choose between the two women she loves. One advantage: If Beth moves to Kansas City, she won't see Sally all the time. She can end her addiction by going cold turkey, if she has the courage.

Personally, I think someone needs to tell Sally what Beth's problem is. Sally may be able to push Beth.

Oh boy, waterworks will certainly abound in the last part. I'm on tenterhooks.

Very different than your other stories. The internal conflict is real. Hopeful for both!

Like all your pieces, thought provoking and emotionally charged. Isn’t that a desired outcome of good fiction — the reader pausing/reflecting and filled with emotion whether sad, happy, aroused, frightened or all the above. Yes, you’ve generated conflict and surely their will be resolution, and as a near hopeless romantic I want a happy ending (not unlike your other storylines), but Beth’s unrequited love for Sally sadly carries over to Kayleigh — her love for Beth is all but unrequited as well (like a unfortunate circle of doubt and pain). Given the troubling nature of Beth’s unrequited love (maybe not pathological but certainly troubling — long standing, acknowledged and impactful — see quote below), Kayleigh may be better off without — she wrestles with that sentiment and Beth knows that to be true.

“If Sally came to me tomorrow saying things I always dreamed of hearing her say, I very much doubted I wouldn't choose Sally. I even knew it wouldn't be the right choice, but I'd still make it.”

Not every romance must end happily ever after; until Beth’s doubt is removed there can be no happily ever after — the love would always be uncertain. So, as a creative writer you’ve achieved for me the desired effect — I am caught up in your storyline and your characters. 5 🌟s

The penultimate chapter always has to end with a vice squeezing your heart

Wow, I loved the scene with Beth's mom. Interesting to see a parent be uncomfortable for a reason other than they just don't like gay people. I'm really looking forward to the conclusion.

I'm in this to see Patricia get her comeuppance. You've planted the seeds for that with Lucy's reaction. Now dump some fertilizer on that subplot.

Wondering if Sally is going to pull a "I knew how you felt all along."

From Chapter 1 I've been waiting for the other boot to fall and, wow, did it fall! What with the unpleasant Molly, the bitchy Patricia, Bethany's mother being worked up by the crap spouted by a religious nut, and the final whammy, it wasn't just a boot but a whole damned shoe shop. Now I'm chewing my knuckles wondering what else can possibly go wrong. Great story, great tension, JC. Five stars it is.

Wow. Interesting how and where you've taken this. I'm sure Bethany will end up with someone, but who? Sally looks unlikely, but now Kayleigh looks uncertain too. Given the title of this piece, I'd almost expect Sally, but I can hardly wait to see how you've drawn the end.

The emotional tidal wave has begun. Having a hard time believing Bethany’s use of the word love with her thoughts on “if” Sally became available she’d run back. If you love someone that thought should not enter one’s mind. Then you added the drama of Kayleigh dating women to “fix.” Wow! These are deep issues both have to come to grips with to make a relationship work. I’m so looking forward to the final chapter. I have a sinking feeling it may have a bitter ending. But, if there’s any author to pull out a “happy ever after” it’s you! Thank so much for taking the time to share your talents.

Wow. Not the crash I expected but still big. Hours are your going to put a bow on this in one more installment?

Wow! I can't wait to see how it ends. I'm on pins and needles ...

You’ve written some fairly loathsome characters in your stories (which is a feature of the the drama, not a big), but Molly might take the cake. Wow, she is loathsome! Even if she’s right, who treats a guest that way!?

Brava on another engrossing chapter :)

Great 4th chapter JC,really turning the screws up to 10 on everyone's emotions.Bethany seems the most wound up emotionally and I can almost feel the pressure cooker effect boiling up nicely to the final chapter.My off the wall bet would be for Bethany finally blow a fuse,tell Sally's partner what she really feels about her,he then ends it with Sally,and she then has a huge bustup with Bethany that leaves everyone apart from each other alone,and therefore unrequited.A psychological tour-de-force,whichever way the denoument goes.As a hopeful/hopeless romantic,I fear the worst,but hope for the best.Whichever way it ends up someone will come out winning,although others may not.

Don’t see how the last chapter can be less than 30 pages long to fix all the problems begun here, but as long as it gets fixed, I’ll be happy. Worrisome most for me was that it felt like Beth was looking at Kayleigh moving as an easy way not to deal with her main problem. Kayleigh sure got that. Very sad camper here right now…sigghhh

can't wait for the next one.. been looking everyday for the new chapter to arrived.. and Soo happy it didn't took long to wait for the others..

thanks for this wonderful story.. luv it❤️

Wow, what a twist, but I guess the title is Unrequited.

I’m still holding out for happy ending for Bethany and Kayleigh though.

Thank you for your wonderful story

Kayleigh deserves all the love in the world, I'd feel absolutely terrible for her if Beth messes things up

Please let this crash and burn, holding out for the worst outcome

Oh JC, why you do this to us? Make us laugh and cry and be so emotionally invested in your characters that we have anxiety about what will happen next.

I’m a softy and want these two to end up together and happy. I want Beth to get out of her head and just learn to love unreservedly.

Actually I think there is more hope to the story with the Kayleigh needs someone to fix and Bethany's unrequited love fixation. They are both broken, and they both know it. Where there is no hope is when they are broken but don't know or admit it to themselves. Where it goes, however, is very much up in the air for everyone save JCMcNeilly.

Left on tenterhooks, terrified that Bethany will let her internal ghosts stand in the way of happiness with Kayleigh. You have given us two horrible characters in Molly and Patricia. Patricia is irrelevant to the future but hopefully Molly can come to accept Bethany and Kayleigh as a couple, if that is how it pans out.

I love this story but must admit to wanting to strangle Beth at times. Thank you so much for the enjoyment I get from reading your stories.

I'm bracing myself for a sad ending. For some people love will always be unrequited.

This is like watching the car stuck on the train tracks with the train coming. You know it’s going to be violent and ugly, but you can’t not watch. The only question is, how much damage will be caused and what will the casualties be?

Even worse is knowing you’ve already written and just waiting to drop it. With your other stories, we didn’t really know when the were going to drop so it was a surprise. With this, it’s like going to sleep on Christmas Eve and wondering what you’re getting.

Molly is pretty horrible, but I think her role in the story is to be antithesis of Kayleigh. It seems to me that with a little attitude adjustment on both sides Bethany and Kayleigh could make a go of it. Maybe they should see a therapist.

Your stories are more than telling us something, they’re an emotional roller coaster and this is no exception. These characters are so brilliantly written, we can almost see their faces. We love some, we hare some (Molly), but we know they’re all here telling such a remarkable story. I cannot wait for this conclusion, but also dread it knowing another incredible story has concluded.

100 STARS

Omg you're killing me smalls! 😄 You are such an amazing writer can't wait for the last chapter. Patricia is a complete bitch and I am glad you showed us just what Kayleigh put up with. Did I mention I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work!!!!

Yeahhh I don’t see this having a happy ending for K and Beth….I also don’t see how everything can be wrapped up in a satisfying way in one chapter, but you’re the one with the pen. Magic Eight Ball says “depression at the end”.

Finding this episode posted this morning put paid to my firm intent to compose half a dozen long overdue image captions! My editor will not be aumused!

Bitches be straight trippin yo!

Loved it. Cant wait to read the last chapter.

You are a great writer. Keeping it sexy and emotional.

Love the characters and how you portray them.

Checking every day to read the last chapter!

Man, I'm just sorry for Kayleigh at this point, even though she's putting herself in these situations. Bethany's obsession is a bit extreme. Surely after so much time and other available avenues for expression, it would lessen and wouldn't remain so strong unless perhaps Sally is secretly aware and keeps cultivating it for attention. The perfect angel-like characters always rub me wrong.

I can’t wait till the conclusion. I so want Bethany to wake up and realize she’s wasted years on something that isn’t going to happen.( Sally) This story has taken us all on a wonderful ride, I hope it doesn’t end in a huge wreck. You are such an amazing writer.

well done when other good authors are waiting on pins and needles for myself i cant see her staying it feels unlikely you could have the happy ever after maybe a second story how they make it work or maybe two more stories how the move on to new and happier outcome i dont know but im invested i cant wait all i can really say is thank you be happy well and safe a fan shayne

All is in open space ..... Now the job offer will top it and Bethany 's insecurity connected to Sally isn't helping ...... Being parted from a beloved family will hurt most, Bethany 's family is her rock and Kayleigh 's family is just formal friendly with Bethany ...... So Bethany's decision staying behind is understandable ....... And Kayleighs dream job on the front and going home is important for her

This will be a knotty 5. Chapter

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝🍀💋 lovely written as always JC

Master story teller !! That’s all I can say.

You must make your next story a novel. Waiting for the each episode is so hard.

Just love your stories 👏👏👏 🙏🙏🙏

I'm torn. I want to keep going on the ride that this is taking me on, yet I know that the end looms.

This is so darn good.

My bottom lip is pushed out and in significant danger of quivering, I’m feeling a bit like the entitled (pun intended) Prince Charming, “what about MY happy ever after”. Definitely a twist I wasn’t expecting, but life, as always catches us unawares - as apparently does JCMcNeilly!

Class writing fwiw, thoroughly enjoyed this last chapter, despite waiting for the other shoe to drop all the way through due to the “heads up” at the beginning, but you and your editors have done a grand job, making the story flow, but with just enough “seeds of doubt” dropped in along the way to prevent reader complacency. Well done, folks!

Many, many thanks for writing and posting, cheers, Ppfzz.

Ugh i hate the indecisiveness of Bethany! But I love this story and so want them to end up together. As always, you're a master at this.

Jesus, this story is exhausting. I don't think I'll be able to finish it. It's way over the top melodramatic. If I read another metaphor of a knife twisting I'm going to smash my phone. There's absolutely no way anyone would behave the way the protagonist is behaving unless they had serious deficiencies in interpersonal relationships or she's severely emotional stunted, which you haven't set up. It's not romantic that she's never let go of a twenty year old crush, it's concerning. Like someone should be checking her into a mental hospital. Aside from that, her "struggle"is so tedious and cliche and, most of all, annoying.

Enjoy? Yes but it's real pleasure through pain but so well written and engaging. Like everyone else I feel so much invested in this that despite the excellent story, or may be because, please, please give us unambiguous happiness at the end. How pathetic is that! That's what you reduce me to, in my book you are that good. Thanks

And so we finally arrive at the obvious solution to the Sally-conundrum: create some natural distance to her so Bethany can’t constantly be at her beck and call, to arrange her life and dress her as her own private Barbie-doll. Though distance may make the heart grow fonder it also makes the mind forget, and Bethany has shown that she can be quite happy when she is not constantly reminded of Sally.

While it would be sad to move away from Emma, it would also break the cycle of Sally consuming her attention span, making Bethany feel miserable, and then Natalie, verbally or non-verbally, accentuating the situation whenever it happens, making Bethany feel even worse.

And, of course, we have to think about Patches as well. Always remember when wooing a single parent that you are wooing their child as well. And once they love you the bond is much harder to break. Especially if the little one is a tortie. 🙂

After being in Bethany’s head the entire story and seen her fears and conflicts close up — with only Kayleigh’s reactions to Bethany’s woes, and only hints at her own demons — we finally have a more complete picture of Kayleigh and see her very human scars and insecurities. Finally we have arrived at a point were they are, more or less, equals in damage and hangups. And equals is always a good place to start.

Time for Bethany and Sally to clear the air. A problem that should have been solved years ago with a teenage, possibly drunken, kiss must now be resolved with adult talking (or possibly screaming). My popcorn is ready.

Oh, and by the way: Die Hard is most definitely a Christmas Movie. 😉

P.S.

Minimal sex, but what a story!!! The conflicts, emotions - you do it all. Cant wait for the finale. This eclipses a girl naned Mitch, but not by much. You're GOOD.

It is so annoying that Beth is constantly pining for Sally. Get over it. Sally doesn't want you, live your life in the present not the past.

Die Hard IS a Christmas movie. Its set at Christmas and the premise of the break in is based around Christmas. Enough said lol. Beth does need to grow up and realise that she's damaging herself by holding onto something unattainable and impossible. I'm wondering if Sally is aware deep down of how Beth feels and is keeping her around for selfish reasons, maybe or maybe not. Patricia is an ugly awful woman who will end up lonely which she deserves if she keeps treating people like she does. This is without doubt one of your best stories and you are one of the best writers on here so it's like getting a great piece of cake with extra lovely icing on top 😀 now just hoping the last part puts the cherry onto the icing. BardnotBard

Another great chapter! When they were shopping for Bethany's dress I was waiting to see if Sally took her, Bethany, into the lingerie shop for something spicy under her dress. Hoping it would add to Kayleigh's excitement about the ballet. Maybe a kind of reverse situation when Kayleigh was wearing the garter belt and Bethany could not take her eyes off of Kayleigh's body.