All Comments on 'Unsteady'

Maybe by the time I get done typing this I'll be able to see again! Wow, what a heart-rending story. You never fail to surprise me with your stories. There can be no doubt that you are one of the top writers around. Every story brings a fresh perspective, and a story line that makes me think, wonder and stay in awe of your imagination. Five stars, of course.

That just left emotional wreckage in it's wake. Fantastic writing. 5*****

That's how you create max emotions with minimal language. Like a surgeon cutting only the small tumor out , with minimal surrounding tissue disturbed.

My what a talent !

That's all that can be said about this guy.

I am completely impressed. Wow.

Killian

I am stunned. This doesn't belong here. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you gift us with your talent, but this belongs in a glossy magazine on my coffee table. You should be getting paid.

Children are a mystery, an unknown quantity, a work in progress. Good parents know this, and raise their children within these limitations. Its not tough love, its reality love. Its not harsh, but it is unyielding and uncompromising. A huge life can be learned and lived within the boundaries of virtue, ethics, self respect, and common decency. If a parent continually allows or enables a child to veer outside those boundaries, then the parent(s) are defective, and will raise children that are defective adults, and future defective parents. Its a pattern that few parents correct, but somehow some children escape.

You have the teenager in this story relate some painfully erroneous viewpoints about herself and her parents:

"He's given me everything I needed, all my life. Maybe that's the problem with me." We have the first sign that the father is a defective parent, but that the child might escape her misguided upbringing. Almost everything a child "needs" they have to discover and earn for themselves. You can't give a child virtue, honesty, self respect, and common sense. You have to give them the opportunity to learn these things for themselves, with encouragement and understanding. Preaching and hoping are useless. Leaving these lessons to their school masters or their friends is ignorant, and lazy if not cowardly. Personal example is a great start. Guiding them through their own ordeals and trials is imperative. Running away, as this child predicts her father wants to do, doubles down on the indictment, this man is not and has not been a good parent.

What about the Mom, Sarah? Ah, this is where the gobbledygook in your story starts: "She loved me, too, but it was a different, tougher love than yours. She saw me, in all my tawdriness; tried to help me in her way, as did you. She saw that she was losing her grasp on you, that you were so blinded by your love, your care for me, that she was becoming the enemy. Her sense of betrayal overwhelmed her."

You can't have it both ways. The mother allowed the father to neglect or enable the daughter's self destruction, or she was a partner in the neglect. Which is it? When parent 1 sees parent 2 acting or refusing to act in a way that harms their child, a slow but steady discussion begins that continues and escalates until both parents reach agreement on the problem and the solution, or the responsible parent pushes the button on the nuclear option. Yes, its that important. The responsible parent tells the irresponsible parent that if the child is not going to be raised properly then continuing the marriage is pointless. Professional counseling, trial separation, whatever it takes. Responsible parents don't let their children become guinea pigs or neglected by the irresponsible parent. If Sarah went off and got laid out of frustration it just reinforces that this teenager never had a chance to be raised in a healthy adult home.

And here's the evidence: "I know my life has spiraled out of control. I let things go to my head. The drugs, the partying, the late nights, the arrest, that's mine, to own and regret, to regret and change." What The Fuck!?! You really think this young woman was shot by Martian Slut Ray at the age of 17? That her parents had no inkling of what she was getting into, with whom, when, where, and how? And way the fuck before she was 17 years old! A teenager that stupid and self destructive doesn't just pop out of a hat. These parents might as well claim they had no idea they were approaching bankruptcy. They had no idea that the flashing lights indicated that a train was coming. They had no idea that their child was supposed to be vaccinated, attend school, or needed to be fed, clothed, and sheltered! What the fuck? They didn't meet her friends, and the parents of her friends? They didn't have her friends over to their house for social occasions, and learn just what sort of friends and ideas and values their daughter was adopting? They don't impose curfews, and dress standards, and what sorts of movies can be watched and books can be read at the appropriate ages? THEY NEVER TALKED TO THEIR DAUGHTER, and monitored what sort of woman she was becoming? Unbelievable, but it happens every day, to way too many children.

Yes, this poor teenager may be well and truly fucked. And she may have taken over the job of fucking herself up. But the fucking up was started and maintained by Drive-By non-resident absentee parents. They might have been in the same house as their daughter was growing up, but they obviously were never part of her world. Her plea for help and reconciliation in this story implies they are good parents who somehow ended up raising a bad daughter. Exactly the opposite is more likely the truth: a good child fucked up by lousy parents. But the child may pull her ass out of the fire before it is too late. If she can help rehabilitate her parents in the process, then she is braver than Joan of Arc, smarter that Madame Currie, and has more strength of character than Mother Theresa. Which means she just may grow up to be a good wife and mother, by finding and partnering with a good intelligent man. Maybe by her example her negligent and useless parents will learn what it really means to be a Mom and a Dad. Your story indicates they have been AWOL from those responsibilities, and the daughter has yet to figure that out. Someday she will. I want to see the letter she writes to her parents then.

So, very thought provoking and inspiring. But I doubt in the way you intended, at least for this reader. Thank you for you time and effort.

@the last commentator. So only AWOL parents have fucked up kid? How do you explain parents who have two great kids and one who's all screwed up?

Kids, especially ones with problems or if they get sick, can put incredible strains on a marriage. Even good parents sometimes don't know what to do. This was a great story from the daughter's point of view. I wish WDMC would write two more, one from each parent's POV. This was simply great, original and very much in the footsteps of this writer's other great stories. Thanks, and five stars.

Best I've read anyway.

Defies description. I think it goes in the superb column.

KIDS?.........I HAVE 3 BOYS THEY FINALLY WOKE UP ON SEPT. 4 2004. WHEN THERE MOM DIED. BUT IT WAS TO LATE TO BE SORRY MY 3 BOYS TOOK ME AND THEIR MOM THROUGH HELL. DONT GET ME WRONG THEY WERENT BAD ALL THE TIME BUT SOMETIMES IT WAS TERRIBLE........BETWEEN BOOZE DRUGS AND GIRLS IT WAS A BUMPY ROAD SOMETIMES.........PARENTS NOW TELL ME YOU HAD THE SAME PROBLEMS...WE DEALT WITH IT AND SURVIDED NOW THEY ARE ALL MARRIED AND ITS FUNNY MY MIDDLE SON IS MORE STRICKER THEN I WAS I KEEP ON TELLING HIM IM GOING TO TELL HIS BOYS HOW HE IS AND HE SAYS TO ME DAD SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN I JUST LMAO BUT LIKE I HAVE SAID I WOULD NEVER TRADE THEM IN. I JUST WISH THEY WERE A LITTLE BIT EASY ON ME AND MOM......SO PARENTS THERE IS HOPE LOL

The writing is superb and the emotions powerful BUT there are some serious problems with the story. To begin with ...unless something changes to daughter will be dead in the year.

The daughter really thinks that the marriage fell apart because of her activities and the conflict it caused within her parents. That is too much of a burden for a 17 year old to handle -- much less so for 17 year old that is out of control and into drugs and has no coping mechanisms to deal with stress and problems. If the kid really think that she caused the destruction of the family ..she will not be able to handle this without drugs and the guilt that the daughter feels will intensify every day as will the drug use.

The daughter will be dead in the year maybe two unless something changes.

The conflict within the marriage of how to handle troublesome child is not the fault of the child. The wife used the conflict and the inability to communicate and agree with her husband about what to do with the 17 year old as a mechanism or cause for cheating on the husband

That decision by the wife to use the problem child as an excuse to cheat in the marriage has nothing to do with the 17th hole. It has to do with the problem between husband and wife.

The anonymous poster " I really appreciate the effort" sums up my feelings about the story almost perfectly

For sharing.

You have the ability to bring out the most intense emotions. I hate this story, but I am in awe of you. I don't hate it because it isn't one of the best I've read, it is and your writing is off the chart, but because of how it makes me feel. This is probably happening now across the street in one of my neighbor's houses. Five stars, but don't do this again. I can't stand all that pain.

No parent can read this without shuddering at the prospect of dealing with a child who makes bad choices. However much we try to instill good values and decision making, our children spend more time beyond our influence than under it. Despite our best intentions and proper parenting, our child may make a choice that proves to be self-destructive; a series of such decisions may result in irreversible consequences. Given a cry for help such as this, we shouldn't hesitate to respond as she asks, putting our pride and anger aside until she's receiving the help she needs and is showing signs of recovery.

You are a giant playing in a sea of pygmies. Like opening a sewer and finding a diamond glittering in the sewage.

A heartfelt tale about an unsteady kid. I would really like to see the backstory.

That was on them. Let them own their actionsjust as you have to own yours and maybe, just maybe, they will choose to remember their love for each other and for the daughter.

An extraordinary letter that all parents dread to receive...But without the before and the after it remains just an extraordinary letter...However 4*

But very well conceived and written.

I was a wild child...can't remember my early years. My Dad died when I was a kid. I had no adolescence and was in the Marines at 17. By the time I got out my eyes were opened far beyond most of my contemporaries. I never felt the need to be loved. It just didn't matter and I never gave a shit really about anything. I've fought fukked and drank my life away. 73 now and becoming a little unsteady.

5*s

the mother needs to move on from an idiot wich will step over his wife to not face his child mistakes. she needs someone to respect her. many put children before spouses. thats idiotic and a form of disrespect for your spuse. litle bich needs to die

Put down the booze friend , its not very attractive at all on you .

It didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy, but it certainly made me feel strong emotions. Life is tough, as this girl is learning. Marriage is tough, as the parents have learned. Let's hope these people can learn enough to make things work. Very emotional and very well written, as usual! Great talent!

Powerful.

As a parent of both boys and a girl, I felt strong emotions and memories. We never had this serious breakdown but it could have happened to anyone. The girl is just a kid. The Anon that wants to sent her to Africa and blames the dad for the break up, obviously never had kids. They are how the future knows you. She is their hope to not be evolutionary dead ends. She is only 17 and is repentant. Ten years from now most of this will hardly be remembered. A lot of good years ahead if the parents do reunite and keep her on the right path. Thanks for a fresh idea.

@Anonymous Re: "I really appreciate the effort..." - You obviously have your own agenda that you chose to insert between the lines. These WEREN'T "drive-by, absentee parents!" These were two good parents with a troubled daughter who lost her way. The mother was quicker to see the problem and tried some tough love, but was handicapped by a father who could only see his little princess. This difference in approach put a strain on their marriage that the wife foolishly addressed by having an affair. The mother didn't ALLOW the father's neglect, it was their dispute that put a strain on the marriage!

@silentsound - Yes, I would LOVE to see the entire story of this family.

@HIV - Harry, you're much too cynical. This daughter finally has her head out of her ass. I suppose that MAYBE if her parents don't reconcile her guilt might drive her deeper into despair. "The daughter really thinks that the marriage fell apart because of her activities and the conflict it caused within her parents." - Um, because it did! The conflict may not be her fault, but the situation that brought on the conflict certainly was! Now, you may say that it exposed a weakness in the marriage, and you may be right, but it was a weakness that might have never broken the marriage without the right catalyst. "The conflict within the marriage of how to handle troublesome child is not the fault of the child." - Yes, the CONFLICT isn't her fault, but the reason FOR the conflict IS! The wife didn't use the problem child as an excuse to cheat, it was the conflict with the husband.

WDMC, I know I'm not the first to say this, but you continue to amaze!

and well worth reading, even if it doesn't belong in Loving Wives.

that tell a more or less complete story. While this presents a very emotional scene, it is simply the beginning of a story. Even flash stories should be complete.

this a very emotional story but also a very true story in many cases. kids can drive parents apart when the parents dont work as a team when it comes as the kids. people that disagree on things will slowly pull apart if it isnt resolved between them. keep writing as this is a great story

I know this story, I lived this story, we're still paying the price after 20 years.

Thank you for sharing. Just thank you.

Kids often think it's their fault. It seldom is.

The author deserves a clean five from all of us. One of the problems we all have is hidden in the phrase "It is all about you". We have to have some participation in order to have some where to stand to perhaps give some useful input. As we always see in this stories, it is all about communication.

Like I really come to this site for unmitigated heartbreak.

Seriously, this is truly exceptional writing. What more can one say?

Frank Redmont

Simplistic but maybe too much so. A lot of children blame themselves for others problems and some times it can be true. One person can make everyone unhappy!

In another category 5 stars. In LW category, only 2 stars.

but we all know some good parents who end up with dead opiod addicts or convicted criminals. So it is hard for me to totally agree with the anon with the long comments regarding the genesis of the daughters waywardness. But I do agree that is one way it could happen. Nature vs nurture, a topic debated for centuries.

Not really sure how i feel about this.. sorta weird, i think i get it, but then again, i really dont.. IDK.. I didn't bother to vote on this one.

Definitely doesn't belong in LW. It leaves the reader scratching their head wondering what is going on.

Usually the problems in the marriage aren't their doing. But in this case, hmmmm. Definitely some food for thought here....

Amazing, intense little flash, thanks!

Good story as to how families get broken up when something goes wrong in it. The way I read between the lines is that the husband and wife separated by emotional stress/trauma or the wife committed adultery due to the stress trauma and they separated.

Stress is the root of many divorces. One source of stress most deadly is the stress placed upon parents by the death, sickness, and/or waywardness of a child. Having a child go off tract as set out in this story puts great stress on the parents, Guilt, Blame, Depression, Anger, Shame, Public Embarrassment, Failure as a Parent. It drives people apart or together. Most likely apart.

A very good story

will she be able to cope with any answer, TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm of two minds on this one.

'tis certainly strong and emotive. However, the "unsteady" theme gave me colliwobbles. Too much repetition I think, but what can you do?

The child blaming themselves is strong, but the parents blame themselves too. At some point, I think everyone needs to find out that blame is largely useless.

Shrugs... I don't think you need to assume the wife had an affair - a divorce fits the bill, a separation, a very bad fight... all would fit the description.

I am interested in the choice of the wife as the responding parent... one might think the husband might, being the over-bought-into/enabling his child's misbehavior partner.

Certainly my eyes were not harmed in reading this, and I echo the accolades of most of the commentariat.

Green-something

Never read anything quite like this, and I like it, and it leaves me with hope that it can all be salvaged. I hope so. Wow.

But it's NEVER the child's fault.

this was short, but you are one hell of a writer! you can actually feel the emotions while reading this.

thank you

This was a hard hit after the tone of your previous stories. If you could build this into a full six or seven page story with past, present, and future, put into your words, wow. It would rival anything ever published in LW, or anywhere else in Lit. Please consider it.

How long cheated with whom etc be good to know

As comment flesh out a good story and could be great

Sharp, very sharp with so few words.

The saddest part of this is, as others have said, that the child believes she's the cause of her parents' break up. She's not. It's the biggest tragedy that happens when parents divorce and it's lamentably common. While a child could be the spark that ignites the fights between parents, it's the faults between the couple that are the real cause of the break up. That's the case here. It's widely hinted that the mother cheated on her husband and if that's the case someone as idealistic as this man is portrayed is not likely to forgive and mend the relationship. His only crime is loving his wife and daughter and placing them on pedestals, refusing to see them as the flawed human beings they are. His stubborn refusal to believe his daughter could be a bad person made him act out and be disrespectful towards his wife. For that he was stabbed in the back in the worst possible way and his formerly happy home is shattered along with his illusions of his loved ones as wonderful people. His punishment is far too severe.

The happy ending loving optimistic part of myself hopes that this family will find a way back to being whole, that they'll find help and work through their issues, that they'll come to see one another for who they really are and love each other despite their failings. Sadly, the realist in me says they're doomed. The daughter says Terry is forgiving, that all he's waiting for is the mother to call him and apologize and all will be well. The realist in me says she's just as delusional about Terry as her father was about her. There's nobody more bitter and cynical than an idealist whose life has turned out to be one big lie. Terry may have injured their relationship with his close minded disrespect but Sarah killed and buried it with betrayal. The daughter was right about one thing. She'll probably never recover from the guilt of what she only thinks her behavior caused.

This story is just too damned sad. I see no hope here.

Your comments were nearly as profound as this story that is going to haunt me. As well written as your comments are perhaps you should try your hand at writing one yourself. I hope someone answers that speed-dial call, this is a serious cry for help, if it's not too late. Signed: BTW

Lovely short story, so very different. I am not sure why the wife had to stray, split from the husband yes, jump in another's bed no. They should meet the daughter, but mom should be honest and tell her, going off with another man was nothing to do with the daughter. She needed to be honest for the future well being of the daughter. I think the author could give us a really good follow up, so many scenarios that he could use, come on I keep giving you 5* you owe it to us

At the end of the story there was a ray of hope, unique open ended story

If only a few at this age would do the same the world would be in a better place.

Wow. A follow up story has a lot of possibility. I'm a romantic so I hope they find their way back as a family.

Hated it. Mostly because there is so much truth in it. Truth always connected to intense pain.

Sad and beautiful

So Sad, so Lovely, so much like the truth. Life is like this, not like it is portrayed in most LW stories on lit. Sadder than the story you didn't finish with an epilogue were they lived happily ever after. Or better still a follow up story, I can't believe that they will leave the daughter they both love, to end up a dead druggie in some awful gutter. Because if they don't give it a try that's were she will end up. 10*

poignant,

Poignant, sad, lovely, beautifull, wow! Yes al that and unfortunately I can partly identify with this story. It is so damm close to my reality and if you publish a follow-up make it a happy end. Mine was'nt and even today after more than 40 years, aged close to 60, it still hurts. For me however a happy change is no longer possible.

So the daughter screws up and the wife sleeps with another man. Come one the wife screwed up too prolly worse. Husband dump both of them and run

Some backstory would be nice

I enjoy most of your stories, but this one is unconnected from paragraph to paragraph. No continuity to my perception. 2 stars.

Masterful! What a lovely, poignant vignette. And so beautifully hopeful. Well done!

Having raised two independent hard-headed daughters and two independent hard-headed sons I can testify that the testimony above could have been written by either one. Intuiting the circumstances as to this particular story would make little difference in the desperate sincerity of the plea.

Heartfelt, poignant, hopeful but just as potentially hopeless.

Excellent. 5 of 5. More please.

Proof that teenagers started perfecting their manipulation skills from a very young age and are very good at by the time they turn 17. The tell is in the "if you really love me.....". When my daughter tried that I just walked away saying, "Guess I failed to show you even that so why bother trying to convince you now." That sure ended that bout of manipulation, she wanted me to fix her truck.

Very realistic writing.

detroitdave

My daughter at 19. Now at 43 with a son of her she's a success story in full bloom and so very thankful.

There is an interesting story behind here somewhere. Hopefully a re-united resolution afterwards too.

awesome story, even the 2nd time reading it and thinking about their lives.

Raw emotion, so well written, so life like. much better than 90% of other stories on here. I would have like a follow up or an epilogue, but am i being greedy 5*

I can think it. Was pretty good.. but ur not' here anymore. 2. Hear that

Even left a story unfinished.. pray u didnt get the * bug* and thats not why ur gone.. hope all is well in ur world. Thks 4 the ones u did write 4 us.. 👍👍👍👍💯💯💯😉😁🤷🙋🙋🙋

Powerful. Thanks.

Heady stuff. Sad, gritty, emotional, earthy. The daughter blames everything on herself, but clearly there were other factors also that contributed to the mother cheating. We know no details. Just the daughter's guilt and pain. And right now the parents need to save her, even if the two of them have no way to move on. Epilog would have been nice. My worry is Kirstan is already dead. And the phone call at the end is the wife (or ex wife) to the husband (or ex husband). Not clear. Could go either way. 5 stars.

To the people saying that the kid is not the cause of the break up - You guys are high. She was obviously out of control and heading towards probably dying. She introduced a massive stress into the marriage, hell I can't think of anything MORE stressful for two parents than worrying that their kid is going to unalive themselves through drug use or other stupidity. To use an analogy - if this was a gun, the daughter loaded it and the parents pulled it. People are hung up on the wife cheating without knowing the circumstances around it, i guess that's to be expected, but the way this reads there's plenty of guilt to absolve all around.