All Comments on 'Untraditional Pt. 02'

Well written. For me, it hit home very deeply. I've been married for 54 years to a beautiful woman of many cultural differences. Sometimes our feelings were injured, But mostly mutual love.respect and honesty helped keep our relationship alive. Five big ones.

This is brilliantly written, but beyond implausible. Rob’s Aleki’s dialogue in particular, is unlikely, to say the least. She speaks like a aophisticated and educated 40 year old English speaker, not like a teenage girl for whom English is a distant second language, not to mention the complexities of Western marriage tradition and concepts of fidelity and honor. That she would have the conversations with Rob that sound like a conversation an aggrieved spouse would have with a therapist is beyond unlikely, it’s impossible. Having said that though, the dialogue is nonetheless interesting, compelling even, and worthwhile.

Page 2

Throw the fucking books in the ocean, catch the ferry and throw all her shit away as soon as he get home.

Page 3

He's a slow learner isn't he?

Page 4

She won't be back? Well no shit bitch. File that under the heading of good riddance.

Should have immediately walked away from Alex. Leave till she's gone. Little cunt.

Another fucking island bitch? Seriously?

Must be a damn good story as badly as it pissed me off. If I'm the MC I'm thinking of delivering a bunch deadly vipers to spread around the island eventually making it uninhabitable. Die bastards.

Great story so fat. It’s time to return to the island and make Puka Jon and slut Mel pay for their cheating under the guise of island culture.

CWG is cooking with gas again! Great Drama, intense story. 10 big blazing stars. Buster2U

So far, so good.

I'm still here, awaiting the last part to this.

Exciting chapter!

5

Funny how the islanders expect him to respect their culture and traditions as they disrespect his. Kinda like everyone that comes to America these days.

I must say I wanted to give you 5 stars BUT i liked this story BUT I also hated it BUT i did like all the nuances of other cultures (jaybee186)

He thought his close friend, who was Melanesian and from an exotic part of the world, was a Mexican? Never discussed his family or his background? Beside the waffle that took over half the first part of the story, that is just not believable. He then marries a woman from the same tiny island who happens to have a betrothal ceremony due with said old friend, which she fails to mention. Vanuatu is not Hawaii and while there is a very small percentage of people of Polynesian descent in southern Vanuatu, they do not speak Hawaiian or follow Hawaiian customs.

I'm sorry Mel was a horrible cunt of a person.

What he should do is write a story about it. Without disclosing his name to begin with. Exposing this horrific island tradition which makes cuckolds of husbands with the entire culture and society accepting that it's fine to commit adultery. Shame them internationally. Cause the world to focus it's purient curiosity on these dumb inbred morons stuck out in the ocean. Ignorant of just how ridiculous their belief in fucking for "mana" is.

Sorry. The way this story is written it's sort of places part of rhe blame for this shit show on him for not understanding?

Nope. Didn't like the story. Probably won't score above a 4. Which is a shame. Because it did have potential. I just thought it was stupid.

Hmmm...another of those school reunion stories where the first string quarterback steals the head cheerleader from the nerd. Set to Island Music.

I would love him to somehow get the island sold out from underneath them, kick them all off and turn it into a resort.

Care for the ending no one came out a winner. Just too sad for everyone. You write well I just didn't like how it ended unfortunately I put too much of me into the reading. Thanks for the effort.

It’s just a story that is written with a lot of emotion. I wish I could write anything near as good as this and other authors here. But this story is stirring things on cultures that 4 years ago a no one would have thought about. Unfortunately it’s about a culture Cuck… Rob is trying to find his way back to reality.

I am enjoying this series and the emotions that it brings. Thanks for sharing…. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As with most CWG stories, it captures my attention and a page turner. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of cultural stories, but this is captivating.

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I think Aleki explained it best. Sometimes love is not enough. Walking away from one's upbringing, culture and values is hard to do. She is young at this point. Now that she spent some time in Rob's world, she has a chance to see the world she grew up in with fresh eyes and make a choice. Unlike Mele, who had no intentions of really loving Rob and planned to be pregnant with Puko, Aleki doesn't seem to have the same ambitions. But she is afraid she may hurt Rob after seeing what her sister did.

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LOL! I hope I didn't reveal any part of the author's plot lines. If so, please delete my comment if it's over the line. -- Full marks --

Hi Cookingwithgas. The traditions and expecations of non-western cultures are interesting. I live in South Africa where there are 7 different cultural influences at play, excl. The Western one. Some are interesting and have deep rooted activities and rituals such as the elders of the husband and bride to be families, negotiating 'Lobola' that means the price the groom/groom's family must pay for the bride. Yet everybody even Westerners go into this eyes wide open. So there's no blind-siding anyone. But throughout all these cultures there is no tradition that disrepects a marriage union.

My final thought and please don't take it as a put down, but I didn't feel your MC's devestation at loosing his wife to another man. Nor her sadness to have lost the man she apparently loved enough to mary and want to have children with. The emotive component was lacking IMHO. Perhaps for other readers it was there.

Thank you for a well crafted story.

Sad .

It’s Bislama not bismala that is spoken in Vanuatu not bismal

Vanuatu is in Melanesia, not Polynesia and they speak French English or Bismal, not Hawaiian.

Your geography could also do with some work. Tropic of Cancer rituals?

Mel has no excuse at all, she lives a western life, she new her husband's customs wouldn't alow it. She did it anyway. And Alex is just as big a user. She got free room in board for the summer experiencing Boston and art. Something she wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise. She basically used him for a free vacation.

Deceit, half truths and betrayal will ruin any marriage regardless of the culture. This was not about a Polynesian culture, it was about the wickedness of two people and their evil betrayal upon an a third person who if told of the cultural traditions would have never flushed 9 years of his life down the toilet. 1* for trying to pass of betrayal as some noble act.

Could have ended all this nonsense by having him leave without looking back when the shitshow started.

At the end of the day, if they don't want to be with you, or your don't want to be with them, then that's it.

The whole reason LW exists is because, in reality unfortunately, and to varying degrees, bitches be crazy.

They're emotional creatures, who's world is, without an emotional rollercoaster, "50 shades of grey."

My dad, married for over 50 years, said "their pussies drive them crazy/"

Or as Eric Foreman's dad, Red, said to Eric, "women are...what's the word? Crazy."

And there you have it: two authoritative sources. )) And yet we love them dearly! So who's crazier?? ))

Excellent story! 5 BIG ASS STARS! Thanks.

For you this was absolute shit! No points and I regret having taken the time to read it. It’s not even really finished. Very poor.

Very interesting & ultimately saddening. The wife & "friend" who knows both cultures still did their ritual irregardless of the husband's feelings. No prior discussion between wife & husband, espec. prior to marriage, so he'd know what he's walking into, so to speak. She says drugging him was hard? Hearing suddenly what they're doing was life shattering. The wife's an unmitigated bitch. And she says she loves him?

The mother at least knew of the troubles awaiting him & seems like she at least tried to caution her daughter. Not sure what to make of her.

The sister that went to Boston with him, only to return, was put in a difficult position... falling in love with him but being homesick. Ultimately, if only for a relatively short time (as the pain dulled the love he had for his wife), he found love. But 1st was the turmoil.

I'm inbetween ratings, but due to the care of the writing & telling the story, I'm giving this my infrequent 5 stars. Bob

not going to get into detail about island communities it gets icky for me anyway. the MC was a bit off for me being an orphan and his environment while growing up. the way he acted during the time of the meat of the story was off for someone that grew up the way he did. but there is always exceptions to the rule. i learned how to cope with my emotions very well and very early on growing up on the streets. i would think it wouldnt have taken him very long to move on. i would recommend that u dont get involved with an islanders

2* for being ridiculous

Poor guy keeps getting his heart and ass handed to him, what. Shame

Wow! Gut-wrenching betrayals. The last thing he would want is another Vanuatu woman. The whole story had me by the heart.

For god sakes, we get it all ready. It’s a tradition! Give it a rest. And move the story along. You’re water boarding your readers with the constant repetitive crap.

This excellent work by C.W. Gas showed up after enduring a week's worth of some of the worst writing I've ever seen on this site. It is pure luxury to read a well-crafted, interesting, and enjoyable story into which I can immerse myself without suspending disbelief in every other paragraph. A real professional from whose work we can all learn. Five stars!

I hope it is just a wild thought. I am completely enthralled with this series. Whether it was naivety or hopeful optimism, Truth and Honesty can be found in every culture. Every culture has believers and enablers. This was a wonderfully written set of tales. Five stars (only because more are not available). Each view point was well written and at least for me explained. Being different does make it wrong. Deception and denial hurt universally. Keep on writing. (Please!!!)

Very interesting storyline and wonderful writing. I could see a loss of social status for Mele and Puko and their families developing over time as a consequence of this whole affair. Lies, deception by ommission, and betrayal are not honorable in any culture, and the ritual was certainly defiled by their acts to a certain degree. So, especially in a small community, I would expect at least some critical discussion in the aftermath. Aleki might contribute to that, too.

As many others have written this was very well written. The pregnancy was no surprise. The departure of Aleki was a little surprising but after consideration I understand her desire to return to her home. As to the difference in cultures much of that can apply to life here in the US, comparing various parts of the country. People from the deep south maybe not faring too well with people from more liberal areas such as California and vice versa. Looking forward to part 3.

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Thank you for the stories you have shared with us. Oh, and 5 little gold pointy things.

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OG46

Nothing that happened was what it seemed to be. A well told story and it solicited many different emotions which is what a good story should do. Thanks for sharing.

Very well written story-made me feel kind of down, depressed me and felt very sympathetic to Rob's

heart being crushed beyond imagination twice-ouch.

After pt 1 and 2 feeling very empty and unfulfilled, so wishing and hoping that cwg changes all these

no fucking good feels after part 3-don't let me/us down-as Pebbles Flintstone once sang-Open up your

heart and let the sunshine in.

Imho what you have contrived is a way to make a man cuckolded without any way to fight back. You took away the mcs manhood and turned him into a pathetic person with no pride. Why?

The women in that family are really pieces of work. The wife went off birth control knowing what was going to happen. She wanted to get pregnant by Jon and to hell with her husband. She should have just divorced him and left. I hope Karma comes to visit that family.

Yes, she said all the right things in her letter.

But, so what? She still did him grievously wrong. He has no desire to ever speak with, nor think about her again. Except maybe as a cautionary tale.

The only sting his ex wife will have is how little value she has through her own actions. While she may remember him fondly, some part of her will know that he feels the opposite. That she was a giant waste of time. While her past lover lives and breathes, he will never see her as anything other than the nasty ways she described herself. And she can be certain it's deserved. That's her only punishment. Her happy life will have that undercurrent. And while he was far more battered from the exchange, he will never have to hate his own reflection. He fought for his marriage. He kept his vows. He didn't deceive. His future will be based on love and not cowardice. It also helps he got to bang her sister. That always seems to sting insecure people like his ex.

1 star - not my kind of story - definitely not LW. probably be better in non-erotic.

The writing was good. However the story and situation was over the top. So far 5 stars. Yet this OTT story had a fizzled ending. That knocked off 3 stars. If you write an OTT story it should have an equal ending. That is why ST's stories get such good numbers. This reminds me more of MM stories that used to be here.

This is well written, if tough. Mel and Jon/Puko definitely engaged in Deepak dn brutal deception from start to finish, and I consider the "start" for Mel to be when she agreed to marry Rob. She knew from before then what would happen. And her letter at the end of this chapter was harsh. Hard for Rob to get anything out of it beyond "Good riddance! And thank God we didn't have kids.' The fact that she put off them having kids until the solstice ritual indicates the longer term plan, though perhaps she thought that there was an equal chance for Rob & Puko both.

I'm curious to see how Chapter 3 unfolds and what parts Mele and Puko, and to a lesser extent Aleki, play in it, if any.

And thanks for your spot-on note, Cooking with Gas.

just like a perfect storm leading to a divorce, Tough story to stomach but then life is life.Incredible character aleki amazing effort 5/5

Wow what UTTER POO! and you even mentioned other Authors at the begining and linking them to this rubbish, shame on you

5 stars

I know it doesn't happen in real life but I hope Mel gets her comeuppance--she has the balls to even say she's not sorry. What an evil woman. I also hope Puko gets his. Both of them are so utterly loathsome and seemed to face no consequences and get to live happily ever after.

In real life the villains like Mel and Puko win, but I hope their lives are destroyed the same way they destroyed the MCs'.

Not since Feb Sucks has there been such a loathsome female as Mel

So after the first chapter, I was thinking situation normal. A lying deceitful woman who weaponizes sex, and grudgingly reveals half truths, for a wife. After the second chapter. I'm still thinking situation normal. The wife's sister isn't much better. She also weaponizes sex, delays telling the truth, and uses your MC for her own goals during that delay. Maybe third time lucky for your MC.

Part 2 was disappointing. Mel and Jon knew what they were doing, it was planned out during the wife’s extended stay. Where they rekindled childhood relationships. Rob was blindsided by Mel and Alex, they both used him for what they wanted. Alex it was the art, if she truly loved him she would have stayed. For Rob part 3 will be a life time of regrets without retribution and revenge. He will always have a hole in his heart and never be 100% happy with life. He was collateral damage.

As usual, well written and very entertaining- my question is about Aleki. Why would she want to go back to her native country? Her mom and her don't really get along, her dad has died, her sister has turned out to be a lying and cheating enemy of her new friend, and her outlet for her creativity, her paintings, are stuck in a dusty shed. What's to go back to?

Could have been great, instead it was just barely good enough. The only person who paid a price was the victim.

/

Since they are a superstitious people, believing in magic, he should have cursed them. Take a knife, go to the village square, cut his palm, let the blood drip to the ground, and say: “I curse this land against the people who have wronged me! I call upon the spirits and the gods to grant me justice! From now until my enemies die by my hand, all is barren! The nets will be empty! The crops will not grow! No woman will bear another child! Give me the lives of my enemies, and I will lift this curse. Harm me in any way, and the curse will be eternal!”

/

ZK

Like your writing but this left me unsatisfied. You did an good job writing because I was angry at Jon

and Mel at so many levels. I would like some revenge. How about an curse from the Gods.

This whole story is filled with lack of communication, hypocrisy and complete deception.

Mel was not forthright from the very beginning and her relationship to Rob was simply a lark until she returned to what she knew all along. Disgusting is mindset by the polynesian people and their lack of principles of respect.

Yeah, giving the bully his money? Yeah, Mel went for the man instead of the wimp. Who can blame her? This pussy deserves to be a sheep among the heard in Boston; he'll fit right in. The wolves will enjoy consuming the product of his efforts. You do know that his future wife/wives will also fuck him over. He's begging for it. All because he lives with his heart instead of his mind. A SNAG (sensitive new age guy). We can only hope that he doesn't pollute the gene pool with any offspring. Mel's kids are what the world needs more of. Darwin is laughing at these self made eunuchs.

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Here's a hint: the two men guarding the path. Huge strong men, who could easily defeat him with their bare hands. But unlike him they weren't stupid, or emotional. They weren't guarding the path to prove a point or make a statement. They were guarding the path to keep anyone from interfering with the fuck fest his wife was engaged in, and they meant to be effective and successful. So They Had WEAPONS. That was the stupid cuck's main failure. The most important sex organ is the brain. The most effective weapon is the brain. The dumb shit thought he was being glorious punching his wife's sex god? What a fucking laugh. He should have put a knife through his heart. Apparently the village was willing to injure or kill him to protect their customs, and could give a fuck about their whore's marriage vows. So he should have created a new legend for the village. The legend of the scorpion that stung the lion through the heart.

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But I waste my time. Sheep haven't a clue what I'm even talking about. They just go where they are herded, get sheared when its their turn, and eventually become food for a smarter predator. Can anyone blame Mel for the man, the life, and the place she finally chose?

Well written. Great story. I probably would’ve murdered the mother in the most horrific fashion possible. Of course also murdered the bitch and the friend. But that is just me.

Not really getting much feeling from this. Part of it is the same problem we had with part 1, you gave away the ending and then that took a lot of blood and guts out of the story up till that point. I feel like you need some sort of tension in the story and it was more like just watching a car crash and wondering how bad it will be. Interesting I guess, but not terribly engaging for me personally.

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Even though Rob is the main character, I don't know how to take him. He seems very cold and uncaring. Hell, everyone in this story seems very cold and uncaring. The only real emotion I feel is some anger at Mele for her intentional betrayal of Rob (it's hard to see this any other way given the events in the story, even if she appears to be deluding herself or maybe not in her letter).

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Oh well, at least we can all take solace in the fact that Mele's eventual fate will involve domestic abuse, substance abuse, poor healthcare and half a dozen kids. Good for her.

After the sister leaving him as well, he should come up with a revenge plan that burns the family and his ex friend to the ground, including a threat if they ever returned to the US, he would be waiting. That was fucking evil what the island trash did to him. Fuck them and their rituals.

It was a terrible story. I actually was ready to give it two stars, but the artsy-fartsy remark made me reconsider to give you three.

Why didn't he just leave and tell her fucked up mother to expect a very public and humiliating divorce for cheating. That would throw a wrench in the force. He was just a whiney pussy.

I am really interested where you are taking the story for the third part @cookingwithgas. Rob at the end of part 2 pretty much lost both Mel and Aleki and seems to be at an utter low point. I think Rob needs to resolve his feelings for Aleki, one way or another.

I like that none of the characters are perfect and have flaws. Jon and Mel aren't 'villains' per say but their selfish choice hurt other people. Mel seems to have realized she did damage to Rob, even if she is not sorry. I don't think Mel and Jon will find that true 'happily ever after', even with a child, the excuse of culture, because their 'union' was born of an act of deception and cruelty, not love. There will always be that shadow on their relationship.

Rob is very flawed, which makes him interesting. Rob is very, very insecure, likely due to his unstable childhood, he at times comes across clingy and whiny. Rob's mistake after Aleki left is bouncing to the next woman, instead of doing some self-reflection.

I am curious where you left part 2, Rob disconnected from Aleki and the culture, where this goes in part 3.

Good job. The story is thought provoking.

Why would you write a story about such a weak willed pussy?

I didn't think this could be more awful than the first part. Boy, was I wrong! Why waste energy writing about such shallow evil people. I certainly wouldn't waste my time reading the last part.

What if Aleiki is pregnant with his baby. Perhaps more betrayal!!

I'm from New Zealand and have visited many of the islands of the Pacific, including Vanuatu. So I understand some of the fertility rituals spoken of. All I can say is that Rob was a complete moron. He constantly played the victim and never did anything in a proactive way. Ok, he was stupid and niave regarding the ceremony and never suspected he would be drugged. But everything after that was so stupid and ridiculous. eg Why didn't he immediately file for abandonment when he returned to Boston? The divorce is from the date of filing, then wait 12 months. So waiting 12 months, then filing, means another 12 months! If he had any idea of getting together with Alex, he knew he couldn't marry her while still married and he would technically be committing adultery having a sexual relationship before he got divorced. So he should at least have sort legal advice. Plus, knowing he was going to bed Aleki (Alex) he should have insisted the 19 year old go on birth control, or he use condoms. How stupid was he?

Also, those books left for him to read, why didn't he throw them into a big fire and burn them? He just played along. Plus, there is nothing wrong with being a scrawny runt but attempting to attack those big Polynesian boys was just dumb. At no time did Rob use his brains.

Jon/Puko knew exactly what he was doing-stealing his friend's wife. I hope karma is unkind to him.

Mele is right; she is shallow and selfish so I can't help but think she knew exactly what she was doing too.

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I suspect the Aleki/Rob story is not over.

Stll cooking with gas on this part. I sense a confrontation in the US in part 3. Or perhaps she's actually pregnant with Robs child, that'd be some great conflict fodder. At any rate, great tale. Looking forward to the conclusion.

Well done CWG! I love all of your work & I believe some readers do not appreciate the time & effort you authors take to create a story. I know i post annon, but i was raised old school, if you having nice to say that isn’t positive or constructive the don’t. Plus i will never figure out how folks dont understand what the word ‘fiction’ means. I am not a fan of some genre’s in the LW category so I don’t read them. I would never trash an author. I just wanted to state i appreciate your effort & the stories you have posted. Thank you! Sincerely a 5* story for me. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 👍

KK

Meh. The one character I despise above all others is the "Samson." The smart, competent, accomplished man who gets hit by the Martian dumbass ray and can't seem to think his way out of a paper bag. Lost some respect for CWG for lowering himself by using that device.

☆☆☆

This story is based (unwittingly, of course) on Margaret Mead's fraudulent book on Samoa. Gosh...we've only known for about 60 years that it was bullshit and that Ferdinand Boas promoted it in order to advance cultural relativism in the West. As it turns out, Samoans were, at that time and previously, quite sexually "Puritanical".

No remotely intelligent, thoughtful, normal human being can accept complete cultural relativism any more than he could accept the complete moral relativism that underlies it.

The wife, Jon, and her mother were thoroughly dishonest. As for the islanders, they are trapped in a primitive, useless culture that most here will romanticize. The husband was written as implausibly passive up to the big reveal after the first night. That is the deep weakness of the story. When an implausible plot device is used to extend a story in the way this one was, a critical reader loses interest. It's a form of authorial disrespect.

The biggest load of rubbish I have ever read on this site and you couldn't even be bothered to finish it. If your intent is to get us to buy your books on Amazon, this 'story' doesn't entice me to go support you there.

Sorry but l did not like your plot and consequently the story itself. Left a bad taste in my mouth to tell the truth.

In your story the cheaters got away with everything with no consequences at all.

If there is another chapter l hope you can save the day and let us see justice done

So far you have 3/5, let us see if a future chapter 3 can elevate you higher in my scoring.

A whole lot of disparate story fragments that don’t fit together. It simply doesn’t make sense. Furthermore the two paragraph hookup with Martina is the worst deux ex machina afterthought I have encountered here. Obviously the author just got tired of the whole chaotic mess and just did a Three Stooges exit stage left. The result is a VERY unsatisfying effort.

2 stars

Given the timing Aleki, I think her leaving him in Boston on the first of autum was part of the planned betrayal. Throw him a bone least he hurt several of us in his anger before we can get rid of him.

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Note the for shadowing after he read Mele's letter: "That was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it."

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Plus (not that Google does great with foreign languages) the translation of the phrase he was taught to assert he rights.

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Those islanders are very smart, with plans within plans and illusions behind illusions.

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Consider what might happen if he were to introduce something like measles or an STD to the island...

Sad no positive REVENGE! It would have a better story if a disease had taken the entire village rendering the all sterile.

These customs should have been explained before their wedding and coming to the island. Otherwise he was just renting her for a brief spell.

You're no George Anderson. There is no there.

I have so many mixed emotions about this story.

First, I sympathize with Alex/Aleki wanting to go home but on the other hand, it's clear her mother will never accept her artistic nature and that part of her will die.

Secondly, wow, Mel is just an awful person. She lied and deceived and her letter? What was the point of it. She pretty much says she doesn't regret any of it.

Thirdly, I think the worst person in this story is Jon. It's pretty clear this was his goal all along. I'm not normally into BTB or whatever but I do hope that Jon gets a comeuppance. He's a terrible person and I'm pretty sure if he gets control of the island things will go poorly.

And finally, my personal hope is that things work out with Alex after all. But if they don't, at least she seems to be a decent person unlike her sister.

You writing the same story over and over

When thinking of Mel’s behavior throughout the story thus far… The word - treachery - keeps coming to mind. She plotted. She deceived. She cheated. She flaunted her cheating. She disrespected her husband. She narcissistically expected her husband to OK with all of it. In the end, she can dress it all up and parade it around town in the name of “culture”. But Mel is one of the most despicable characters I’ve ever read about on this site. Part 3 is going to be interesting. 3/5 BRB

It was a well crafted storie, the drama and angst that Rob has to endure was a painfull remainder that for most of his life, he has been abandoned or betrayed by those that supposedly should love and support him.

The fact that you avoid most of the cliches in the end, is also a good thing. I dispute that Aleki was also taking advantage of Rob, while she was interested in him, she was clear about that his place on her heart will never be the first place, in the end i believe that she choose to return to the island mainly by fear that Rob always wonder about Mel and being the second in his heart.

"That was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it." This however its a well used cliche in cuckold stories, try to put the blame in both parts.

Sorry, its not, not in this case. Rob was the only victim, a innocent one. Mel and Puko knew his "cultural baggage and beliefs" and still carry on the ritual and betray him. There is really no defense or excuse of their actions, while the whole "its an important milestone" for us and our culture, the fact the go to great lenghts to obscure the true nature of their actions and the fact they doesnt have any regrets say everything about them.

But try to make Rob at fault for being deceived, drugged, cuckolded, humilliated and not take those grievances with the dignity of the "silence" and the respect of the village, its out of place in a otherwise well construct final act.

Maybe Rob do deserve a more happy end, rather that the end between lines that he got, but after the two factors already mentionated its a minor nitpick of mine.

A solid 4.

I hated this story. The author treats the issue as a difference in cultures. It isn't. If it was just a cultural thing then she'd have explained the culture to her fiance rather than being deliberately dishonest and making vows knowing she was lying. She made western vows she never intended to keep and regardless of her culture that makes her a lying cheater.

The amount of selfishness amongst the people of this story is astounding. I am not sure what culture this is supposed to be based on, but it is one of the most convoluted self serving insane I have heard of. I usually am a fan on your stories. This untraditional one of yours I am sorry, this one is my least favorite.

Hey, you can't please everyone, I get it. We all write ones that even our biggest fans hate.

I am sorry, I read both parts, and there is nothing I like about this two part story at all. Your writing was okay, so 3 stars.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I don't think this was demonizing an entire culture. There are a lot of less than great things in western culture and history, out religious traditions had a lot of shadyness to them.

The problem was that mele and puko were deceitful and the mother wasn't much better. Mele went off her birth control knowing that she could get knocked up, yet thought that was okay. That isn't a cultural thing, that is two self obsessed people who do all the wrong things, they are almost deliberately cruel.

I don't think Aleki is cruel, she didn't use Rob. She went to find herself and she was honest with herself and with Rob that she wasn't of this culture.

I figured the story was over , going to be interesting to see what happens.

Interesting story however to me this is really showing some very self centered couple of people. Yes traditions and cultures are not trivial but two of the main characters knew at the start ( which I see as starting at the dad’s death 4 years earlier) that this was going to end up very badly. I don’t buy for an instant her stopping BC before the trip knowing she will be spending weeks with another man as anything less than a deliberate attack on her husband. His friends cavalier attitude towards his is hardly better. Lastly Aleki’s actions are really damaging as well almost if she was n on it to begin with. I look forward to part 3 of this well written tale.

I'll engage once on this before moving the conversation with my author colleagues to private messaging. especially for Hooked1957, whose work I respect, but also for KRD19254 and even Demothenes384bc. There is no bias or defamation. The traditions are real, not fictitious. You failed the most important test of defamation by not asking a Pacific Islander to read it and ask how they felt afterward. Would a Hawaiian feel disparaged or maligned by their own tradition and custom just because two fictitious people conspired to use it to hurt someone? Further, when those two people (Mele and Puko) added selfish 'extras' to the actual tradition for their own gain, could anyone possibly see it as defamation? KRD even points that out in his comment, then falls into the American Progressive trap anyway.

As smart as I think Hooked is, here we are at the precipice of my previous long-winded comment. Bias and prejudice in a storybook, theoretical, so-called highly educated 'speak' that has a word like "inherent" or systemic" preceding it, is merely a plan to influence and nothing more. It's more fiction than this story. I get it. The person telling you that is some sort of professor or the like, so it all sounds good, and that person has a piece of paper hanging in an expensive frame on the wall. But for God's sake, use your mind for a minute. Pretend it wasn't a professor with a paid agenda and just some ordinary person on the street. Would you seriously believe it then?

There was no defamation here because the author researched the real-life traditions and customs, and then applied them to two very cruel and selfish fictitious characters. For Hooked, the classic quote by Master Yoda comes to mind: "You must unlearn what you have learned."

I did not like Chapter 1 at all - entitled my review that didn’t go for some reason “WTF?” MC dumping the psycho wife and exiting the island redeemed the series considerably. The problem wasn’t the island culture - it was the lies, drugging, and deceit. Will be interesting to see where CwG goes with this one.

what a lot of tosh get a life just another cuck story

Inteeresting start in part one that went nowhere in part 2. I felt the letter from Mel was pretty much 'sorry you left me, but I really enjoy screwing Puko, so I am staying here to have his babies'.

I hope part three is not a simple story of Rob finding a new woman and falling in love. The story needs resolution for Rob.

I admire Rob for his courage. After the drugging, I'd never have eaten or drank anything that those people handed me.

They are all pathetic people and the wife is a whore. Husband should of burned the island down.

A very well-crafted and beautifully expressed story. Thank you!

All the best,

Dave

I just could not buy that much deceit from that many people who claimed to love him. If that's where the world is, we're all living a shit life...

I was hoping for some sort of retribution on all of them

Upon reading the story a second time I would give the story a even lower rating than the first time. The husband's complaint after he woke up from being drugged which of course could have killed him.... is 100 %correct . The wife engaged in a mass of deceit and a conspiracy. Even worse the wife knowing this man who was her husband since elementary school would know that he would never accept this . And she did it anyway.

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So again, the ending of the story where the husband says that they were both equally naive and equal to blame for their marriage collapsing is just a load of crap . Not only is that incredibly stupid thing for the author to write in the story, but it doesn't make any sense.Given how the husband had completely dissected Is help twisted and the Nefarious, the wife's scheme was.

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But then suddenly at the very end of the story the husband thinks that they were both at fault?. That's simply does not make any sense.

His journey was painful. Neither Alex, nor Martina, were any help to the sense of impotence and the drearily parched loss of the MC. Ouch.

This bit at the end ruined the story ...."that was when I realized we'd both been quite naïve but that there was real subterfuge underneath all of it..."

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What makes this sentence so bad is the fact that being naive by the husband is NOT the same sort of naivete that you see from the wife. She was cruel and mean and self-centered and really gave the marriage no effort of any kind. That is NOT the case with the husband . So for the husband to say they were both simply naïve is really trying to equate the husband and the wife is equally at fault for the marriage and that's not even close to being true.

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so this attempt in at the end of the story or the author tries to make it a 50/50 split in terms of blame and responsibility for the destruction of marriage is really quite nauseating

I'll defend you a bit on the cultural bias as you had to pick "something" to get the point across. Not sure if the island and people are real? If they are, it would have been best to make something up. That said, I did not see the heart of the story slamming a particular group, at all. Much like the core plot lines you emphasized, Jon and Mel KNEW the western culture and played out the tragedy. I didn't like the finish as it left our NC "adrift". 4.3*

> an island in Nova Scotia

Does this island perchance have traditions of its own?

Great story, please keep writing!

Interesting story and well written but missing a serious point that was glossed over. Mel and Jon formative growth years were on CONUS and were well immersed into Western Culture/Christianity/Laws. Mel embraced Western values/culture when she married Rob in a Western method. Mel bringing Rob to the island to betray and flaunt her ADULTERY was pure evil. Jon was not a real friend to Rob; Puko betrayed Rob.

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What was most sick was Alex/Aleki became another Rob user or a timed consolation prize, Aleki used rob for her art and enrichment purposes. Aleki use of Rob was just as disrespectful as Mel's betrayal.

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The crime was that Mel and Jon did not educate Rob as to island culture, methods and expectations AND that the two were pledged contrary to her marriage. Furthermore, they drugged Rob to pull of the ruse.

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As I've witnessed on the islands - Heole's are tolerated never respected. What this story points out is that Polynesian culture cannot be trusted to follow Western values - NO HONOR amongst cultural thieves [Mele/Aieki/Puko].

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3.8*** Hooyah, salutes to the writing but not the cultural defamation

Just a wild thought here: you could have made it completely fictional instead of defaming a whole civilization. The story by itself was pretty good.

Hooked

One of the better stories that I’ve read lately.