All Comments on 'Upheaval'

Alyssa deserved a break. Josh didn’t deserve Alyssa. I don't know . This doesn't feel finished. The current idyll with benefactors seems like a way station to her ultimate destination. Maybe though this is as good as it gets for A. ? She's a plus-size sweetheart, but not a gamechanger. In that case Jimbob44 left off at right place. We saw the best of her ?

I liked her , maybe she shows up in another story if only as peripheral character ? I hope so.

Full marks * * * * *

So far there has not been a story of yours that I have not liked. May not have understood where the people thoughts came from but like the story telling. Love how everyone and everything comes together in a shared environment. Even if others don't like them, you write them for you anyway, so keep it up. I will keep reading them!

NHW

Well, I am glad you were honest enough to say you are a shit writer. You could have saved a lot of time by not spending four pages proving it, though.

Just a wonderful story - as usual with you.

Simply a superior skill developing your characters.

You know you need an editor, but you don't want one? I guess you don't want readers either!

If you are writing for your own pleasure there is no reason to post your stories.

If you are posting them, you presumably want them to be read, and you should want to make that a pleasant experience for your readers. Stories that are hard to read do to a lack of editing don't get read.

Your story may not fit into that category, but given your disclaimer, I choose not to use my reading time on it, especially when I see stories by three quality writers right below it!

My goodness, the critics are being a little rough on you this morning. As for me, I loved the story. You do tend to write about those people who are often not popular in school or society. In most cases show that they are good people and deserve love and affection just like everyone else. My favorite part of the story was the meeting with Josh at the treatment facility and her ability to stand up for herself and not have to be a doormat to a loser druggie.

I really enjoyed this tale. I felt you developed believable real life characters as well as a good plot with a fine conclusion.

High marks from me.

Thanks for sharing and please keep writing.

I don't live with a red grading pencil in my hand I didn't have any trouble reading this story either. Come on people, these stories are free and take a lot of time to write so give us all a break and if you don't like the story grade it on that and if you don't like the writing style grade it on that but don't count the commas and the verb tenses and then write a scathing, but properly edited, comment about that and ignore the story. So, soapbox time over.

Thanks for writing this story for us, wow I almost forgot to start a new paragraph. Anyhow most of us enjoy your stories and your writing, especially those of us with coon-ass relatives. Gave you a 5 even though it was probably just a 4 and 3/4, ha.(don't do lol cause I'm a heterosexual male, over 35)

Thanks for sharing a super read!

Great story! The way the tension built up to and after the sex kept me reading til the end. A brilliantly written drama.

if a bit idyllic. Most lives are compromises, making do, deciding that good enough is plenty good enough, rarely stumbling into perfect relationships like these. But we can all dream, and thank you for that! I especially enjoy your absolutely impeccable idiomatic dialogue, those cliche speeches and responses that gleam with precise expressivity. That's a rare gift!

So just thank you for this and your other stories.

Of course 5*

I have been Alyssa and it was a frightening, miserable time in my life. I, too, escaped in the nick of time. Your character finding validation and love in the arms of others is a beautiful situation. Keep writing!

Great read. Sorry that some of the little jack off boys can't stomach an interesting read. They probably look like monkeys at the zoo furiously jacking off. LOL

Damn, LE comments makes it easy to erase what I write, which is what I just did'

Anyway, I'm not much bothered by bad grammar, and don't see it in your writing, but I think some readers see dialect, and are bothered that the spelling and grammar isn't 'correct'. However, the dialect is especially enjoyable for me. This story was a bit light on plot, IMO.

Might have been better if it bounced between her mother in law's thoughts of the events, and the wife's. Often good to see the same events through two personalities.

Chilley

Another wonderfully evocative 'slice of life' story. Jimbob44 is becoming the Garrison Keillor of Literotica. Bravo sir!

A good story, unfolding slowly making it a good and easy read...4*

Bloody good.

... Being from Louisiana myself, especially appreciate your dialogue between characters. You really nail it.

Great story. I must check out your other work. Thanks for sharing!

splitting off of a decent person from a piece of scum.

Why those inept writers don't learn to write ?? "1*" of course !

intruiging characters and interesting storylines, excellent.

For a minute there, I thought she was going to take his worthless junkie ass back.

I don't get the comments saying this was hard to read. I found it quite easy to follow. Didn't need my glass eyes or nuthin.

I think most of the negative comments come from people who can’t get with the vernacular dialogue.

Then, there are other jealous pricks like Brooks who can’t understand why JimBob gets consistent high marks in LW awhile his own boring shit hovers in the 3.8 to 4 range. Maybe because JimBob writes interesting stories?

I read all the way through and give an honest grade even if I don’t like a story, why would someone say that reading would be a waste of their time but 1 bombing and shit talking, isn’t?

5*

Damn straight!

🤢

best writer on this site. Love his chubby girls Even his lesser stories are great. I've read many including the lesbian but can't get enough interest for his guy one but that is what I admire about him is the range he has

Been reading your submissions for a while, struggled with the speech patterns at first but persevered and was rewarded with some of the best stories on this site.

For whatever reason most authors here can’t write natural dialogue, your efforts easily bring the characters to life.

Great work.

The pathetic tiny dicked misogynistic assholes can't take stories where the husbands are losers. It hits too close to home and interrupts their delusions where their exes didn't warn them repeatedly about being a pathetic excuse for a husband. They don't listen and they ignore their wives and then wonder why they were asked for a divorce.

This is like 90% of the men on here who bitch and moan about women and jerk off to BTB stories. I am over it. Grow up pussies.

Gross

One star

Love chubby girls .

Live how you weave the speech style in .

Not a fan of this tale , the lesbian thing grosses me out .

Still give it three stars for great writing

- Julie

Giant cunt feminists need to lay off their 24" Bob's and drop the man hate .

Might even think about going on a diet.

It's extremely unbecoming .

Might be able to a flesh and blood man

Fun and well written .

Not a fan of lesbian content .

Four stars because your writing is great

Amazing writer .

Not your best though.

Maybe 3 stars

Most of your stories leave me wanting to read more about the world you write... this one is no exception. Well done.

Just saw this one, great story, good interaction between characters, enjoyed it. Thanks!

Pretty good. My only complaint would be that things seemed to move a bit too fast, but I enjoyed reading it.